My phone rings and I smile when I see that it’s Amara. “Hey you,” I say, grinning to myself.
“Noah,” she whispers, her voice sounding off. She sounds the way she did when I found her standing in the rain, heartbroken and lost.
“What happened?”
She laughs, the sound hollow. “How did you know?”
“I just do.”
Amara sighs, and I lean back in my seat behind my desk. “I know you’re at work, and you probably have at least another hour to go, but is there any chance you could meet me at the bar you took me to that time… when you found me in the rain. I… I can wait.”
I check my schedule, finding three more patients on the roster. “Absolutely. I’ll be there in ten, okay?”
“Thank you, Noah,” she whispers, her tone a little lighter. I’m not sure what’s going on, but something clearly happened.
I rise from my seat the second she ends the call, overcome with worry. I can’t stop thinking about what might have happened. Something with her company, maybe? It’s the one thing she intensely cares about. It can’t be about us. If Harold found out, he’d be standing in my office right now.
“Georgia, cancel my remaining consultations. I have a personal emergency I need to attend to.”
She jumps up from her seat, her eyes widening. I notice the concern in her eyes, and the curiosity, but I don’t know what to tell her. I haven’t told the girls about Amara and me because I don’t want to have to listen to their objections, and I don’t trust Maddie to keep her mouth shut. Georgia nods at me, and I force a polite smile on my face as I walk out.
I’m impatient as I drive over to the bar Amara is waiting at. I hate the idea of her waiting, but more so, I hate the thought of her hurting and sitting in that bar by herself. I want to be there for her, no matter what might be going on.
I’m restless by the time I walk into the bar, and it’s not until my eyes find hers that I relax. She’s in a booth this time, instead of by the bar. Amara smiles at me, but for the first time since I met her, that beautiful smile of hers doesn’t reach her eyes.
I walk toward her, and her eyes never leave mine. She’s done this to me from the very first moment we met. She captivates me with a single look.
“Hey,” I say, my voice soft.
“Hi,” she replies, her voice shaky.
I slide into the booth, taking in the way she’s trembling ever so slightly. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want a hug?”
She looks into my eyes, and then she smiles. “A hug, please.”
I open up my arms for her and she moves closer, resting her head on top of my shoulder, her lips brushing against my neck. I close my arms around her and hold her tightly.
“Sometimes, when my sister has a bad day, all she really needs is a hug. I’ve been told that I’m a bit of a problem-solver, so my first instinct is to ask you what’s wrong and find a way to fix it… but she taught me that it can wait.”
Amara sighs and snuggles closer. “Aria is a wise woman.”
I nod. “She is.”
Amara pulls away a little to look at me, her expression unreadable. “Did you… did you tell her about us?”
I nod and thread my hand through her hair. “Of course. She was so happy, it was kinda cute. Even Grayson seemed excited for us. I think he actually likes you, you know?”
Amara grins at me, a hint of relief in her eyes. I guess it’s just as hard on her to keep our relationship a secret as it is for me. “I wondered, but I didn’t really dare ask before. How do you feel about your best friend being with your sister?”
I look away, unsure how to answer. “It’s complicated. They’re both very broken individuals, and at the start I wasn’t sure if they’d be each other’s destruction or salvation. I knew it could only ever be either of those two. There’s no middle ground with them, and that’s what worried me. The last thing I wanted is for either of them to get hurt. My worries were misplaced, though. They’re happy together, and I’m happy for them.”
She blinks, drawing my attention to her ridiculously long lashes. She’s beautiful. Every little thing about her is just beautiful.
“They’re lucky to have you, you know?”
I frown, wishing that was true. Both Aria and Gray have given me far more than I’ve ever given them. Aria practically raised herself. And Gray? He’s something else altogether. I never understood why a man so brilliant and so reclusive chose me to be friends with. Compared to either Aria or Gray, I’m solidly mediocre. I work hard, but I’m not a genius like both of them are.
I sigh and lean in, cupping her cheek gently. “So, do you want to talk about what upset you today?” She’s been avoiding the topic, and while I don’t want to push her, I’m concerned.
Amara pulls away, and I instantly miss her touch. “I ran into my father,” she whispers, almost as though she can’t bear to say it out loud. “It just feels like it reopened so many wounds. I thought I’d healed, but just seeing him took me back to a time that I’d prefer to forget altogether. He asked me if I wanted him to stop contacting me, and I didn’t know what to say, Noah. I always thought my answer would be a resounding yes, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t say it.”
I bite down on my lip and nod, unsure of what to say. She hasn’t told me much about her father, and I get it, so I don’t probe. I hate talking about my parents too. Right now, in this moment, I wish she’d let me in, though. I wish I knew more about him, so I could find the right words to say.
“I won’t pretend to know what that’s like, Amara… but you seem conflicted. You wouldn’t feel that way if part of you didn’t want him in your life. I know he’s hurt you, and I know he left you, but he’s back now, isn’t he? I guess the question is whether you think you can forgive him, and whether you want him in your life going forward. I can’t tell you the answer to that, but I can tell you I’d give the world to speak to my father one last time. All parents are different, but you have yours… and if even a small part of you wants him in your life, then at least think about it carefully before you decide.”
Amara looks down at her hands, her entire demeanor turning vulnerable. I lean back and take a sip of the cocktail in front of her as she mulls over my words. This seems like a sore subject for her, and all I want to do is console her and support her, but I worry I might’ve said the wrong thing. It’s hard for me to understand what she’s going through, because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have the luxury of arguing with my parents.
“It’s complicated, Noah. My father made a lot of bad choices, and our family suffered for it. Not just ours. He destroyed multiple lives alongside his own, and some of the things he did are simply unforgivable. I know they are, and part of me wants to punish him for everything Mom and I went through, but he’s my Dad. Seeing him was painful because it reminded me of everything I missed out on, everything he missed out on.”
I wrap my hand around her waist and pull her against me, her head dropping to my shoulder. “I know you’re hurt, and I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but whatever you choose to do, make sure that you aren’t hurting yourself with your own choices just because they seem like the right ones.”
Amara nods, a tear dropping down her cheek. “I don’t know what to do, Noah.”
I press a kiss on top of her head. “You don’t need to figure it out right now, baby. Take your time.”
She nods, and I hold her as she tries to compose herself. I hope she’ll let me in someday. I hope I’ll one day have the strength to tell her about my parents without breaking down. I hope we can heal each other. But above all, I hope that someday, she and I can both let go of the past.
