“I’ll promise you to give my all”—I Still Love You by TheOvertunes
“Are you fucking kidding me!” my sister yells the second I walk into our house. As far as I know, she’ll be living with Colin and me now.
Admittedly, I like it better that way. Won’t admit it to her, but it’s the truth. At least when she’s here on a daily, I can keep an eye on her without excessively having to hunt her down on campus, call or text her five times a day to make sure she’s still breathing.
She might have gotten the help she needed, but depression and suicidal thoughts just don’t leave in two weeks. Or so I believe. So having her around is easing my nerves at least a little bit.
“Not sure I know what you’re talking about, Lily.” She’s just gotten released from the psych ward a couple of hours ago, came to watch our game and then went straight home with Colin. Now they’re sitting on the couch in the living room watching a movie. “But it’s great to have you around again.”
“You knew Sofia was back!” She jumps off the couch, but Colin wraps his arms around her hips and pulls her back down. “She’s been back for weeks and I’m only finding out now.”
“You had other things to worry about.” And that’s the truth. Between Colin trying to get her to stay alive and her release from the psych ward, she didn’t have time for a best friend reunion. Plus, there was no need in upsetting Lily by rubbing a person that she knows loves her, right in her face when she wanted to die. “Besides, you will meet her tomorrow. You guys are kind of babysitters now.”
“Babysitters?!” she blurts out at the same time as Colin starts to laugh.
He shouldn’t have.
Lily turns around to look at him, her eyebrows fallen into a mad frown. If looks could kill, I just bet Colin would have been dead about five times by now.
“Miles needs a helping hand with Brooklyn. Sofia agreed on watching her with you whenever we’ve got practice.” To be fair, Sofia wasn’t needed for this at all. But for some selfish reasons, I figured if Sofia was around during practice, I could at least catch a glimpse of her every now and then.
Despite what I’ve been telling myself all these years, my heart has always been stuck with her. It’s why Winter and I could have never happened even if I wanted us to work out. I made a promise to Sofia so many years ago, and for some reasons, I’m still holding on to it.
It won’t happen, I just know it won’t, but I also hate breaking promises. Sure, it was a promise made when I was eight, but a promise is a promise either way.
Sofia and I are two different people now than we were back at the age of eight. She’s lived her whole life without me, I’ve lived mine without her. I know absolutely nothing about her anymore, same way that she has no clue who I am.
As much as I’d love to continue where we left our friendship off, it’s impossible.
“It’s one half of a heart, I have the other one. Promise you won’t ever take it off.” Not even I held on to that promise. But at least I still own that wisteria Lego necklace, so that’s one good thing, isn’t it? Or pathetic.
Let’s be honest here, if I just randomly started telling Sofia how much I’ve missed her and how glad I am that she’s back, it would scare her off more than it would do us any good. Plus, it’s just embarrassing for me.
But maybe… If we slowly start to get in touch again through my sister and her having to be around me, perhaps there is a chance that we can get to know each other all over again. And who knows? Maybe we can light an old flame.
“You’re not still having a crush on her, do you?” my sister asks, causing me to swallow the wrong way and end up coughing like a maniac.
“Aaron having a crush?” I hear Colin laugh, seeing as he leans his chin on Lily’s shoulder. “I’d like to see that.”
“It was so obvious they’ve liked each other.”
“We were eight,” I veto. “I found her annoying and nothing but that.”
Lily never liked the thought of Sofia and I even standing each other, which is why I made sure to be mean to my sister’s best friend. Unfortunately, Sofia took my rudeness as something completely different. And as it seemed, I liked her more than I wanted to admit.
Up until I found out she had to move away. That’s when I ignored my sister’s wishes and made promises I knew I couldn’t keep.
And yet here I am, still holding on to them.
“Sure. And you also need her to watch Brooklyn with me because I want Sofia around, not you.”
