“No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do”—Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding
I haven’t seen Aaron all week.
That’s not true. I saw him at hockey practice because Lily and I are still babysitting Brooklyn while the guys have to be there. He knew I was there… and Aaron tried his very best to ignore my existence. He didn’t even so much to look my way. Only if it was necessary, which was never.
Winter has been awfully weird to me as well. She tries to be out of the dorm before I wake up and only come back after midnight in hopes I’m asleep by that time. It’s almost ideal because I don’t want her around me either. Having her avoid me doesn’t bother me nearly as much as Aaron avoiding me does.
He wouldn’t ignore you if you told him the truth, Sofia. The whole truth.
That doesn’t matter right now. I could tell Aaron the truth knowing it wouldn’t change anything at all, or I keep him at a safe distance and avoid a second heartbreak.
As I stare at my ceiling, trying my best to fall asleep early and ignore all my problems, my phone starts to ring. For a second, I debate to ignore the call, pretend to be asleep and stay away from unwanted conversations. Just for tonight.
But when I see it’s my mother who’s calling, I don’t have much of a choice. She’ll get worried if I don’t pick up. So I do.
“I hope I didn’t wake you up,” she says, sounding far too cheery for it being six in the morning in Germany. Though, she’s a morning person, so it shouldn’t surprise me as much.
“You didn’t. What’s up?”
“Listen, your dad wants to book your flight back home. When’s your last day exactly?”
“December seventeenth.” As much as I want to leave New City and go back home, I cannot spend a whole two weeks with my family and Aaron. If he still wants to come with me, he’d be on the same flight as me. If he doesn’t decide to leave early, my dad will book my flight to New City to be after New Year’s, adding my time with Aaron up to over two weeks.
Two very dangerous weeks.
“Perfect. He’ll try to get you on a flight on the eighteenth then.” Perfect… right.
“Mom, I might be bringing a friend, is that okay?” I mean, I do have to ask eventually. I wouldn’t let Aaron stay at a hotel for two weeks when he’s supposed to be my fake-boyfriend. And let’s be honest, the second my mother finds out I’m bringing Aaron, she would smack me back to New City if I let him stay anywhere but our house.
“A friend? Why?”
Because that shit-face of ex-boyfriend of mine is going to propose to your other daughter right on my birthday, that’s why. “We’re dating.” Can’t have her believe anything else. If my fake relationship is supposed to fool my sister and Leon, then not even my mother can know it’s only a game of play pretend.
“DATING!” I’m sure she just woke up the entire house with her scream. “Tell me more. Now. Name? What’s he like? God, Sofia, send your mother a picture next time!”
“His name is Aaron.” No need to tell her it’s the Aaron yet. I’m kind of curious to know if she’d recognize him. I didn’t.
“Sofia…” She sighs heavily. “Another Aaron? You barely got over your crush on—”
“We don’t talk about that, mom. I’m going to sleep now. Have a wonderful day!” Without waiting for a goodnight on her part, I hang up the phone.
I’m not tired but listening to my mother talk about how much I used to like Aaron Marsh is not going to happen again. If I weren’t still traumatized from all the late-night-talks we’ve had about him and how much it upsets her to see me cry over a guy I don’t even know anymore… maybe it would only be half as bad.
But now that I got a date for my departure, I might as well send Aaron a text and let him know.
Sofia: Are you still interested in being my fake boyfriend for the holidays?
I don’t expect Aaron to answer me right away, but surprisingly, he does.
You’d think after he ignored my existence for a whole week, he’d at least have the decency to apologize or sound less uninterested… he doesn’t.
Aaron: Yeah, sure.
Sure? Unbelievable.
Sofia: Your enthusiasm is blowing me away, Nix. Careful, otherwise I might think you’re excited to spend Christmas with me.
Aaron: I’m not coming for you. In any way possible. When do we get back?
Sofia: I’m not sure. I’ll be back sometime after New Year’s, but you might be dead when that time comes around. That attitude of yours is screaming for a knife in your heart. You can try to leave early if you want.
Aaron: And miss out on the family drama? Fuck no. I’m already spending the holidays with you, might as well see how it all plays out the week after.
Aaron: By the way, Icicle, stabbing someone isn’t the smartest move to kill if you want to get away with it.
Aaron: Hey, do you mind if I call you? I’m cleaning my bathroom right now and texting isn’t exactly helping get the task done.
What the hell?
First, he ignores me, then acts like a total dick when I ask if he still wants to accompany me, and now he wants to call me. I didn’t even plan on continuing to text him.
Before I have my response typed out, my phone starts to ring. I would decline, but I’m curious to hear what else he has to say, so I pick up.
“How are you?” he asks right away. No hello, yet again no apology, no questions asked about our stay in Germany.
“I’m good, why are you asking?”
I hear the faint sound of a spray bottle in the background when Aaron replies with, “Around this time two months ago, you were too broke to afford tampons, so I was going to ask if you need me to buy you some again. Glad to hear you’re good.”
My spit goes down the wrong pipe, making me cough as I choke on my very own saliva. How the fuck does he remember that?
I didn’t think it was that memorable. He’s done a good deed, saved me from having to rob the store for two items. There is no need to remember my embarrassment.
“I wasn’t ‘too broke’, I didn’t have any money on me yet. And the store did not accept my EC card.”
Aaron chuckles. “Anyway, if you need anything, just let me know. My card does work here and I’m happy to help a friend in need.”
Would it be wrong to go over to his house and wrap my hands around his throat, squeezing just that tiny bit too hard? I don’t think so.
“So uh, Sofia… I have questions about my stay in Germany.” Didn’t expect anything less. “Do I need to book a hotel? It wouldn’t be a problem, but I need to know.”
“My mother would decapitate me if I let you stay in a hotel.” Besides, I don’t think Baierbrunn even has a hotel, nor do the villages around.
“Huh. Yeah, makes sense. I, too, would like to decapitate you.”
Of course he would. I have the very same desire with his head. “Look, I don’t have much information about the flights yet, but I’ll let you know. I can ask my mom to ask my dad to pay for your flight since you’re kind of coming for me.”
The sound of a flushing toilet overtones his response, but he seems to notice when I don’t react to whatever he said. “Sorry,” he says, chuckling. “Uh, it’s alright, Sofia. I can afford the flight.”
“You sure? Flights from here to Germany and back are expensive.”
“Hope your dad books first class for you, because I won’t sit in economy, and it would be a shame if I couldn’t annoy you on our flight,” he says like he means it.
I roll over on my bed, lying on my side. I turn my phone on speaker and lay it down beside me. Guess I’ll be stuck with him on the phone for a while, so might as well get comfortable.
“I mean it, Nix. If you want me to pay, I’d totally get it.” It certainly would make more sense. He’s doing me a favor with being my fake-boyfriend. Paying for his flight is the least I could do.
“And I’m telling you I’ll be in first class. I haven’t been in economy for years, Sofia. Trust me, I can afford a flight. Tell your dad he doesn’t need to book yours; I’ll do it. Call it a treat from your boyfriend. It’s going to be your birthday the week after anyway.”
He is out of his goddamn mind.
We keep arguing about the flights for another hour. I end up giving in, letting Aaron pay for my flight to Munich. I’m tired, so sue me for not wanting to keep on arguing. But there is one more thing we need to discuss.
“We need rules,” I say.
“I got one. Pretty simple too.” He sounds a bit far away, kind of like he laid his phone down somewhere to do something else. But then he’s back in full volume when he continues. “Do whatever the hell we want because we’re supposed to be in a relationship. Relationships don’t have rules.”
“That doesn’t sound efficient.”
“Alright. You want to talk about a stupid no kissing and no touching rule, because that’s what the people do in all these romance novels you like to read? Well, then you know as good as I do that these rules are made to be broken.”
He’s not wrong… much to my dismay. Wait, how the fuck does he know I like reading romance novels?
“You want to kiss me, fucking do it, Sofia. Want to get touchy, I have a body you can touch. Feel like sucking someone off, be my guest, I have a dick that would love your attention. Want to get fucked? You just have to ask, and I’ll gladly be the one to do the job.”
I’m quiet for a whole ass minute, needing a moment to process whatever words just left Aaron’s mouth. Only that my silence seems to give him another kick to speak.
“If you want to fall in love with me, Sofia. Do so, please,” he adds. “We don’t need rules to follow only to break them. Whatever you want to happen, I’m happy to make it reality.”
“Okay,” I say a little breathless.
I guess that settles that, but instead of hanging up the phone, Aaron and I keep talking about everything and nothing at all. He tells me about how he’s gotten an unofficial offer from the NYR but isn’t allowed to talk about it yet, then adds that the offer is definitely going to be made official after graduation because, well, his best friend’s father is the Coach of the team and has quite the connections to the owner of the team. It’s good to know Aaron has faith in Coach Carter’s power.
It’s also great to know that Aaron will be living the life he’s always dreamed of. That makes one of us, but one is better than neither of us.
I tell him all about Leon and what went down between us, not because I want to tell him, but because he asked. He said he should know so he can come up with better comebacks if needed. I have total faith in Aaron crumbling Leon’s ego if he has to.
He doesn’t comment much about the whole relationship we had, only snorts disbelievingly every now and then.
“You know, you could have just hit me up instead of giving yourself to a fucker that was out for pussy and nothing else,” Aaron mutters a little sleepily as I finish telling him about my first time and how I got persuaded into it rather than me actually being into it.
“Ah, yeah? And say what exactly?”
He hums, thinking. “I don’t know. Something like ‘Aaron? Mind getting your ass over here because I kind of want to lose my virginity and my only other option would be some wannabe hockey guy that had his dick in tons of other girls before’?”
I lick my lips, smiling to myself. “Because you didn’t?”
“I didn’t say that. But I sure wouldn’t have told you the shit about needing to lose your v-card to be cool. Plus, we both know I was on your mind the entire time anyway.”
That cocky fucker.
Aaron truly believes he’s been in my head this entire time, huh?
He’s right, of course, but still. It’s the principle here, people.
“Uh-huh.” I roll over, needing to reposition. “He was jealous of you, though. So, I give you that.”
“How? I wasn’t even in the picture.”
That he wasn’t, not literally, at least. “I had pictures in my room, and well, the necklace was a huge give-away that he would never mean too much to me.”
I can see the proud, self-confident smile forming on his lips, even without having to actually see his face. And the second I realize my mistake, it’s already too late.
“My, my, Sofia. That sounds a little insane if I do say so. You had a boyfriend and still figured keeping your head with me was the way to go? I’m a little turned on by that, to be honest.”
If I could, I would slap him for this very comment. Yet at the same time, he is right. It was insane. “Wow, if me saying the necklace you gave me got another guy jealous makes you hard, I’m really sorry for all those women you slept with. Must have lasted a second, tops.”
His chuckle sounds through the phone, a little heavier than I remember, but it still somehow brings a shiver to run through my body.
“Not even a second,” he says eventually. “It was all head in and done.”
“I’m not surprised.”
More time passes, some minutes pass by without either of us saying a single thing, others filled with conversations like we’ve been in touch all these years.
When I check my phone to see what time it is, I notice we’ve been on the phone for a whole three and a half hours.
“I should hang up and go to sleep,” I say, yawning right afterward.
He groans like he’s in pain or more like he simply doesn’t want me to hang up yet. “Stay on the phone, please.”
“Why?”
“Because… you know. So I can wake up with you still there.”
