I take a sip of the horrible coffee that definitely doesn’t have one gram of sugar and obsess over Astrid’s house with the impatience of a toddler.
It’s been exactly two minutes since Nicole and Uncle Henry disappeared in there, and yes, I’m actually counting the time, because that’s also how long I kept myself from following after and making sure she’s fine.
“You’re drooling.”
My eyes meet Astrid’s narrowed ones and I resist the urge to grunt because that will definitely give her the reaction she’s asking for, and that shit won’t be happening.
“And you’re heading to the old hag category faster than an express train.”
Searing pain explodes in my leg when Levi kicks me under the table. “No talking to my wife that way unless you want your head hanging on her art studio’s entrance.”
“Glad to see you’re still a crazy motherfucker, Captain. Let’s hope the spawns don’t inherit that.”
Levi shares a look with his wife. “Did this cunt just call our children spawns, Princess?”
“He’s jealous.” She glides her fingers through his hair.
“Of what, exactly? Giving birth as a sport or changing nappies?” I take another sip of the coffee.
They ignore me and Astrid kisses his lips.
“Some of us are trying to drink some coffee. Disgusting.” I push the cup away.
My friend doesn’t even spare me a glance as she pulls away and whispers to Levi, “Can you go check on Lan? You know he shouldn’t be left alone for long.”
He strokes her cheek and nods. Then he glares at me. “Behave.”
“Yes, Captain,” I mock salute, and he flips me the bird.
As soon as he’s out of earshot, Astrid practically lunges to my side with the lethality of a coup d’état. “Explain.”
“What?” I grab hold of my cup of coffee and take a sip of the revolting thing, pretending it’s actually exquisite.
“Don’t give me that, Bug. You’re with Nicole, of all people, and that needs explanation.”
“I already told you…”
“You slept with her that night eleven years ago, okay, but how can you forget about everything else she did?”
“I didn’t. Which is why I couldn’t be in a relationship with her.” I release a breath. “I had feelings for her long before you came along, but I fought them harder than anything I’ve done in my life. I just couldn’t believe that I’d be into a bitch, especially after the way she treated you.”
Her lips part. “You…have feelings for Nicole?”
“Had. Did you miss the past tense?”
“You’re with her now after you’re all grown up, so don’t even dare to deny it.”
I grumble but say nothing.
“I’m still wounded.” She sighs, her voice lowering to a murmur. “She seduced Levi, Daniel and it hurt me so bad at the time.”
“She didn’t do it for the purpose of seduction or out of interest in Captain. It was her fucked-up way to get attention.” I can at least admit that now. She did a lot of twisted shit to get my attention and I chose to see her in the exact opposite light.
“Wow. You’re actually defending her.”
“She’s not who you think, Bugger.”
“Obviously. Am I speaking to you or your dick right now?”
“It’s not about my dick.”
“It obviously is! Did you forget that she had sex with Christopher Vans in our pool house while you were having these feelings for her?”
My jaw clenches and I slam the coffee cup on the table. “She didn’t have sex with Chris, Astrid. He raped her. What you saw that day was fucking rape.”
She gasps, her eyes widening. “W-what?”
“He took her against her will and hurt her. I’m not even supposed to tell you this, but I won’t tolerate it if you mention that word in front of her or insinuate that’s what she did to me.”
“But…but…she didn’t say anything…”
“She had a concussion.”
“Oh, God. Now that I think about it, she looked in pain.”
My fist clenches.
“I…” Moisture glitters in her lids. “I could’ve helped her but didn’t. I…was more disgusted than anything.”
“You didn’t know.”
Gloomy silence falls over us as we both think of all the ways we could’ve stopped it but didn’t.
Nicole must’ve felt so fucking lonely with no one to turn to.
“She didn’t show anything.” Astrid frowns. “After that night, she acted normal around the house.”
“Because she was taught by her bitch of a mother to not express emotions. She was too scared to disappoint her, which is why she didn’t report it either.”
Astrid jerks up. “This won’t do. She has to report it, even now. That lowlife can’t roam free after what he’s done. I’m going to talk to her.”
I grab her by the wrist and pull her down. “Don’t you dare talk to her about this. I only told you so you’d understand her better and mind your words around her, not so that you would pressure her into anything.”
“But Christopher…”
“He’s taken care of.”
“How?”
“You don’t need to know.”
Her eyes widen in slow recognition. “Is that why you came back to England after eleven years?”
“Yes. Just promise to…at least give Nicole a chance. She’s changed.”
A soft smile covers her features. “Apparently, she’s changed you, too.”
“What type of blasphemy is that?”
“She brought you back to London, you’re defending her like a die-hard solicitor, and you’re taking care of her brother, who under different circumstances, should be a spawn.”
“He’s a smart spawn.”
“You’re missing the whole point.” She grabs me by the shoulder. “But hey, I’m glad you’re changing for the better, even if she’s the reason behind it.”
“She’s not the reason behind anything.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Bug.”
Astrid laughs and I want to kick her and make her take back what she said. Because, fuck no, I’m not changing because of Nicole.
Right?
