This early morning, I woke up to a continuous ping of messages from my group chat with my friends from England.
We played football together back in secondary school and our lives kind of intertwined together. And by that, I mean they’re the annoying bunch who like interfering in each other’s lives like mothers-in-law on steroids.
Besides, since my best friend married one of the wankers, I was dragged into the middle of their unholy circle of demons.
Not that I’m an angel or anything holy. But there are degrees to that shit, and I’m pretty sure I’m the mildest of the bunch.
Anyway, Ronan and I are usually the heart of the group chat, so the fact that it was pinging while I wasn’t in it was the first red flag.
The second red flag was finding that Knox was wide awake in the middle of the night just to catch their time zone.
What I found was enough to make me lose sleep altogether.
Knox: Remember when Daniel came here not long ago with some announcement about the state of my shagging life?
Ronan: Oh, yeah. Turns out, your dick wasn’t broken, after all.
Aiden: And I was right and you were shagging one person. Next.
Knox: As they say, karma is a bitch and I’m here to expose him.
Xander: Don’t tell me his dick is broken, too? What do they feed you in the States?
Levi: Ouch. I wouldn’t know how to deliver that type of news to Astrid.
Cole: Is it just me who thinks this unorthodox fascination with each other’s dicks is weird and should be frowned upon?
Aiden: Crawl back into your boring life and let us have our fun.
Knox: No, his dick isn’t, in fact, broken. And no, this isn’t fascination, it’s payback time so Daniel will stop being a dick on Viagra. So here’s the trivia moment. Guess who started working as his assistant?
Ronan: One of the blonde hookers you’ve been sending him?
Knox: Something close to that.
Xander: Fuck me, his assistant is really a hooker?
Knox: No, she’s a blonde.
Ronan: Isn’t he allergic to those?
Knox: He is, but this isn’t just any blonde. She’s the original blonde. You know, the one who broke his heart.
Xander: You don’t mean…?
Knox: The name is Nicole Adler.
Levi: What the fuck? I thought she disappeared off the face of the earth.
Knox: Apparently not. She’s right here at Weaver & Shaw and currently working as Daniel’s personal slave. Sorry, I mean assistant.
Aiden: I didn’t know Daniel had a thing with Astrid’s stepsister.
Cole: Since when do you care about anyone but yourself?
Aiden: You fuck off.
Ronan: Me neither. I thought it was harmless flirting or whatever. I remember Danny boy saying she’s a major bitch and that’s it.
Xander: I saw them coming out of a room together once. Didn’t think much of it. Who would have thought she was the blonde who traumatized him to all blondes?
Knox: He was pissed drunk during university and when I asked why he purposefully avoided blondes, he told me because one of them ruined everything. I had to stop him from hopping on a plane to England in his state. He said he wanted to find her, strangle her, and revenge-fuck her, and maybe do it all over again. And then he was spouting shit about peaches and whatever.
Aiden: Sounds like Daniel.
Xander: Now, I’m intrigued. Hey, Lev, did Astrid mention anything about them?
Levi: Vaguely. Apparently, Daniel is closed off about anything Nicole. He doesn’t like any subject that includes her. But then again, Astrid and Nicole never liked one another.
Knox: I’ll keep you posted on the state of things here.
Ronan: Send us pictures, dear brother in-law.
Knox: At your service, Ron. Here’s to Daniel curing his blonde phobia.
Xander: Amen.
The guys break out in a fit of laughter and continue joking around at my expense.
So I send them screenshots of when each of them was making a fool out of themselves, but that only gets me in worse trouble since their sarcasm meter goes up a notch.
To say I’m grumpy this morning would be an understatement. Not only did the bastard Knox send me another blonde hooker last night, but he also went ahead and started this fucking circus.
The hookers are payback for how I called him out about not wrapping it up for the first time in his life, but now he’s making it a damn habit because he’s a cunt.
Or maybe I’m in a foul mood after what happened yesterday.
After I saw Nicole’s tears for the first time and touched them. After I heard her say she’s only tolerating my despicable presence because she wants to keep a roof over her family’s head.
Family.
When the fuck did she get a family? Her father is dead. She left her stepfather’s house that fateful day, and her mother is gone, too.
So she doesn’t have that. A family.
Or maybe she’s not fucked up in the head like I am and made herself a family like normal people are supposed to.
Either way, I reach the office carrying all the demons that I’ve been hiding for years. They’re proudly sitting on my shoulders now, on fucking display for the entire world to see.
And because I’m in a mood, I’m tempted to make someone else experience it, too. Specifically, her.
I stare at my watch, counting the seconds until she misses the eight a.m. mark, but she comes inside at that exact moment, carrying the cup of coffee in one hand and the files in the other.
She’s wearing a tight dark blue blouse that’s straining against her tits. That’s not all, though. The first two buttons are undone so when she leans down to place what she’s holding in front of me, I get a front-row view of the line between her creamy pale tits.
I grind my teeth with pure fucking anger at how my dick strains against my trousers.
Being attracted to Nicole or even seeing her as a woman should be the last item on my agenda.
“Here’s your coffee and the contract drafts that you asked for. I also emailed you a digital version in case you need it.”
“Are you a fucking whore?”
She jerks back at that, her eyes widening. “What is wrong with you first thing in the morning?”
“I should be the one asking that. Is seduction your next scheme?”
“W-what?”
I tilt my head to her chest and she slowly looks down, then clamps her fingers around the loose buttons. Red covers her cheeks, and if I didn’t know her better, I would’ve said she’s blushing.
But Nicole fucking Adler doesn’t do any blushing or most normal human feelings.
“That wasn’t on purpose.” She releases her shirt as soon as she buttons it, then stares at me. “And you’re the last man I’d ever attempt to seduce.”
“That’s because I won’t be seduced by you.”
“Perfect. We finally agree on something.” She fixes me with one of her haughty looks. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
Then she turns around and leaves.
I’m tempted to call for her again, just to annoy the fuck out of her as much as she’s making my life hell.
Maybe it’s not worth it, after all.
Maybe I should throw her out and continue living like I did before she showed her face in New York.
Then I’m hit with all the fucking things she did and the way she turned my life upside down and I instantly wipe those thoughts away.
Taking a sip of my coffee, I flip through the document. Red marker in hand, I underline any words and sentences that I want replaced and circle the ones that need to be removed.
Once I’m finished, I take it to her. I could call her over, but I like catching her off guard. She’ll slightly jump in her seat and her lips will fall open as her green eyes widen.
It’s a view I’ve been actively trying to recreate every chance I get.
Before I open the door, however, I see her leaning against her desk, facing the wall and holding a phone to her ear.
Although her back is the only thing visible, her shoulders are tense and her spine is snapped in a line.
Instead of my plan of forceful entry, I slowly open the door. She doesn’t pay me any attention as she manically taps her foot on the floor.
“…I know. I’m sorry, hon. I promise to come a bit earlier today, so wait for me and don’t fall asleep, okay? I’ll make your favorite dish.”
A red haze covers my vision and I’m close to punching the wall.
I don’t, though.
I shouldn’t be even thinking about such violence.
“Are you having personal calls while working, Ms. Adler?”
She startles and stumbles forward before catching herself at the last second. The phone falls to her side and she stares at me with that frozen expression again.
Only, this time, I find no pleasure in it. The usual feeling is muddying with something else entirely nefarious and somber.
“I…” she trails off.
“You’re what? Does the firm pay you to talk on the phone?”
“I didn’t think…”
“Obviously. Are you daft?”
“I’m not daft.” She lifts her head. “Stop calling me that.”
“Then stop doing daft actions. Have another personal phone call while working and it’ll be your last. Are we clear?”
“Crystal.”
“And drop the fucking attitude. I mean it, Nicole. You’re not the one with superiority here.”
She purses her lips, but she doesn’t make the situation worse and remains silent.
I throw the document on her desk. “I need that back in twenty minutes. Get to it.”
Then I return to my office and close the shutters before I act on the animalistic urge inside me.
Hon.
That’s what she said.
Fucking hon.
And don’t sleep. Wait for me.
And she’ll make him his favorite dish.
Since fucking when does she even cook?
She’s always been a princess. Always tended to and served one way or another. So who the fuck would she cook for? Who the fuck would she hold in such high regard?
I pull out my phone and call the only person who can explain this clusterfuck.
She answers with a long, excited, “Bug!!”
Muse’s music filters from her end. She’s been obsessed with that band ever since we were teenagers.
“Hey, Bugger.”
That’s what my best friend and I have called each other since we were fifteen. Ever since I saw stars on her wrist and thought they were bugs. I asked her if that’s what they were and she was offended because they were the last tattoos her mother did. She swung around to punch me, but we lost balance and fell together in the pool.
Then we were pushing each other while trying to climb out and fell into it again.
We burst out laughing and have been inseparable ever since. Astrid is the only one who’s never judged me for being a troublemaker, for being too flashy and fickle.
She says she understands I’m doing it for a reason. I’m acting out for a reason, and she’s there to listen.
I could never find a more loyal friend than her. She’s my ride or die. The one I would go to a survival game with and know we’ll both come out of it riding our unicorns toward the sun.
Muse’s music lowers in volume and she asks in a serious tone, “What is it? Are you okay? Should I fly to New York and beat up whoever is bothering you?”
“Easy there on the violence, Bug. This isn’t the Vikings.”
“The world would be much easier if it were, just saying. So? What’s up?”
“Why do you think something is up?”
“You sound weird.”
“What are you, my mother?”
“Well, I am a mother, so I have a different gut feeling. Speaking of mums, yours kinda misses you. It’s okay if you call for more than a minute per decade.” I can imagine the eye roll without having to see it.
Old pain resurfaces, but I clamp it down. “She has her favorite son with her and that’s not me.”
“How can you say that, Dan? You chose to go to the States and Zach chose to stay.”
“I chose to go to the States after she chose Zach. But my mini family drama isn’t why I called.”
“Then what is?”
“I want to ask you something, but I won’t unless you promise you won’t be mad.”
“Why would you ask about something that will make me mad?”
“Just promise you won’t be.”
“Fine. What is it?”
“Have you…heard anything about Nicole since she left?”
There’s a pause on the other end and I grip the phone tighter. “Astrid?”
“Why are you asking about her all of a sudden?”
“Just tell me. Do you know anything about her?”
“She cut me and Dad completely out of her life. You know that.”
“Surely Uncle Henry tried to get in touch with her at some point? He didn’t hate her as much as he hated her mother.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You sound annoyed right now, which means you’re hiding something.”
“Maybe you are.”
“What?”
“Why would you ask about Nicole after eleven years of closing down any conversation I try to have about her? I thought you said she wasn’t important when I asked about that summer party. What changed, Bug?”
Something.
Everything.
I’m not even fucking sure anymore.
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready, Astrid. Now can you tell me what you know?”
She releases a long sigh. “It’s not much, really. Dad once said that he searched for Nicole and when he found her, she was carrying a baby and ran away.”
“A what?”
“A baby, Dan. You know, like my daughter, Glyndon.”
“Nicole has a child?”
“I don’t know. Even Dad was surprised by that. He tried to find her again, but it’s like she disappeared off the face of the earth.”
“How long ago was that?”
“I don’t know…our second year in university, so about nine years ago.”
My mind goes into overdrive. Nicole had a child nine years ago. That was also the same year she dropped out of Cambridge, per her résumé.
All her references after that are here in the States. Which means she probably left England after Uncle Henry found her with a baby.
A fucking baby.
My fist clenches.
“Oh, and, Bug,” Astrid says slowly. “There’s something else.”
“What?”
“When Dad saw her, he said her face was badly bruised.”
