The trip from Lake Wisteria was a blur. I don’t stop driving until I park outside Iris and Declan’s house on the edge of the suburbs.
“Cal?” Iris blinks up at me. “What are you doing here?”
“I fly out tomorrow,” I blurt out.
“I thought you were leaving Friday?” Her brows furrow.
I shake my head. “I moved up my flight.”
“Why?”
“Because Lana kicked me out of the guesthouse.”
“Oh, shit. Come inside.” Iris shuffles me into the house before shutting the door behind me. I follow her into the barren living room.
I look around. “Where is everything?”
“We’re moving into the new house next week.”
She laughs. “It’s been months already.”
“Wow.” A sigh slips out of me as I settle on to the airbed Iris has set up in front of the TV as a makeshift couch.
“What happened?” She sits on the other side of the air mattress.
“Lana knows about the will.”
Iris’s brows rise. “How?”
“She overheard Rowan, Declan, and me talking about it.”
Her wide eyes only add to the growing anxiety building inside of me. “Shit. That’s explains why she looked like a deer caught in headlights.”
“I fucked up.”
“What did you say exactly?”
I explain what Lana overheard.
Iris frowns. “Did she at least hear you out?”
“For the most part, but that doesn’t change anything. She was already on thin ice with trusting me, and now…”
“She has no reason to trust you at all,” Iris finishes for me.
My eyes drop. “No.” She might not trust me, but I’ll find a way to earn it back and not risk my inheritance.
Iris asks me for more information, so I share everything that happened over the last few days ever since the dinner.
“I could talk to her,” Iris offers after hearing me out.
I rear back. “How would that help?”
“I could help her understand why you would keep a secret like that in the first place?”
My head shakes. “As much as I love you for wanting to help, I don’t think Lana would go for it, so I’d rather you not unless she reaches out first.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’ve done enough damage as it is. Sending you there… I’d rather not risk upsetting her.”
Iris lifts a shoulder. “You’re the one who knows her best.”
Which is exactly why I’m worried.
“What if she doesn’t forgive me?” I voice my fear aloud.
She throws her arms around me. “I doubt you’ll stop until she does.”
I return her hug with one of my own. Despite my life blowing up around me, I always know Iris will have my back.
“I just want you to know that I’m so proud of you for taking initiative and getting help yourself.”
I swallow past the thick lump in my throat. “I haven’t even gone to rehab yet.”
“No, but your willingness to go in the first place shows so much progress.”
I lift my chin. “I’m doing it for myself this time.”
“That’s why it will work. You’re going to get better, and I’ll be rooting for you every step of the way.” Her genuine smile battles against the constant chill that has been present in my veins ever since I left the lake house behind.
With Iris’s help and Lana’s friends keeping an eye on her, there is only one last thing getting in the way of me confidently going to rehab and getting my life in order once and for all.
I never thought I would spend my thirty-fourth birthday voluntarily enrolling myself into rehab. It seems fitting with the way my life is going lately to spend it all alone, with nothing to keep me company but my endless thoughts about Lana and a bunch of fellow alcoholics going through various stages of withdrawal along with me.
No one at the facility acknowledges my birthday, which is fine by me. I honestly prefer it that way because I’m not the most pleasant company at the moment. Not having a single coping mechanism to distract me from my thoughts makes me anxious and uncharacteristically agitated with everyone I come into contact with.
No Candy Crush. No alcohol. No Lana and Cami to keep me company as I battle through therapy, group sessions, enough arts and crafts to drive me mad.
Despite being given my approved amount of Adderall, my brain doesn’t stop running, long after I am supposed to be asleep every night. I’m plagued by the decisions I made and how Lana might be reeling from them.
I didn’t mean to leave her alone with the fallout of my choices, but I didn’t have an option. Sticking around would have only hurt her more. Leaving was the best option, even if it screws me up inside to be apart from her and Cami.
It’ll be worth it.
The pain. The lack of alcohol to cope. The constant reminders of how I failed everyone around me because of my addiction.
Not anymore.
I make the same wish I did back at Dreamland, although I have no candle or cake to make it official.
I wish to kick my addiction for good.
