After a couple of hours working on my project for The Crooked Spine, Jack barges into my room. “Moooom, hurry up, or we’re going to be late.” He tackles my knees, wrapping his small arms around my legs. “Come on!” He tugs me.
I push my arms through my sweater and chase him downstairs. He quickly puts on his Spider-Man light-up shoes and heads out the door without a coat. I roll my eyes, pulling a coat for him and a coat for me out of the closet, and then we take off.
The drive to the harbor is pretty short. Oohs and aahs are pouring out of him when we approach the viewing dock. His excitement never wavers, no matter how many times we come. It’s been too long since the last time we were here.
“Mom, look!” He jumps up and down, pointing to the giant vessel in the water. He audibly gasps when the bridge begins moving.
I can’t help but giggle at his excitement. Children are the purest form of joy—the world hasn’t tainted them yet.
Jack and I spend another hour or two watching the ships go in and out, just letting the world move around us.
But we have to leave around seven because Char and I work tonight. The theme is witches, and I’m going to need time for the makeup look I have planned.
Hopefully, it’s not too late of a night though because Jack’s parent-teacher conference is tomorrow morning at seven thirty. I couldn’t make the scheduled evening ones last week because I had work. But his teacher offered to have me come tomorrow morning, and I couldn’t really say no.
I’m a little nervous. She said that she needed to talk to me about something, and I haven’t really been able to get that phrase off my mind since she said it.
I’m excited to see Callie, Hannah, and the boys. With how emotional this week was, I feel like I haven’t seen them in forever.
Jack and I head back to the house soon, and before I know it, Char and I are walking out the door and heading to Fireflies.
We end up getting there pretty early, finishing the prep before anyone else even arrives. They are ecstatic when they see it all done and ready to go. Tonight is the first night that Char and I can fully serve. We know the menu front and back, and we’re ready.
The first group I mix for is really simple. They just order eight Scooby Snack shots. I add the rum and whipped cream and slide the platter across the bar to the man who ordered. He winks at me, slides me four twenty-dollar bills and grabs the platter.
The entire night, we are swamped. I literally have no idea how they kept up with orders before Char and I could help.
The benefit of being nonstop busy is that time flies by. When we clock out, I feel like I just clocked in. Except now, I’m five hundred and fifty bucks richer. Not too shabby.
The drive home is a blur. I’m exhausted to the core. It’s not like I got a lot of sleep last night.
When I got home from the party, I considered punching a wall. Not my finest moment. I held myself back. I was not going to let Alec have that kind of control over me. Ugh, just thinking about him is boiling my blood all over again.
I wring my hands on the steering wheel, my knuckles whitening from the pressure. Char is already passed out next to me in the car. I slap her thigh when we finally pull into the garage.
She shoos my hand away. “Five more minutes.”
I slap her thigh again. “Char, you’re sleeping in my car right now. Get the fuck up.” I nudge her shoulder.
She slowly rocks awake, opening her eyes. “Oh my God, I feel like I got stoned. Not the drug, like a medieval stoning. Every muscle in my body hurts. Who knew this could be a workout?”
I drag my feet, following her up the stairs. I don’t even take my costume off. I fall into my bed, money in hand, and sleep the hardest I have in a long time.
The alarm blares from my phone. Oh my God, I could’ve sworn that I just lay down. The second alarm comes through not a minute later.
“Ugh.”
I shut the alarm off and throw my comforter as far away from me as I can manage. It’s too tempting. And I cannot be late to Jack’s conference.
I don’t have to look good for this, right? At least, not that good. I have never had less motivation in my life.
Why couldn’t we just do this over the phone? That would have had the same effect.
Quickly getting ready, I throw jeans and a decent shirt on. I slip flats on my feet and make sure he is up and ready to go.
I must have the best son in the entire world. He is already dressed with his backpack, and he’s eating a granola bar in the living room. Like he’s just been waiting for me the whole time.
I walk over and give him a small kiss on his head, breathing in my personal scent of happiness. “You ready?”
He hops off the couch. “Yep. Hey, I want to ask you something when we get in the car.”
We begin making our way out to the garage.
“Just ask me, bud.”
He shakes his head and opens his door, hopping into his car seat. “Not yet.”
Impatient, wanting to know what he’s being so weird about, I hurry up, buckle him in, and then get in the driver’s seat.
Pulling onto the road, I finally break the silence. “Okay, what did you want to ask me, buddy?” I switch between looking at him and watching the road.
He’s bouncing his thumbs on top of each other, obviously a little nervous. “I, um … well, I want … I want …” He huffs out a breath.
“Just ask me, buddy. It’s okay.” My heart tugs at his nerves. I can’t imagine why he would be nervous to ask me something.
He keeps playing with his thumbs. “I kinda wanna play a sport.”
My smile beams at him through the mirror. “Jack, that’s great. What sport?” I try to reassure him the best I can.
“I was talking to Erick because he plays. And he said it’s kind of expensive. That’s why I’m so nervous to ask. Money’s hard, I know. I hear you, Josh, and Char talk sometimes …” He trails off.
My eyes sting. I never want our financial strain to ever hold him back. And since I’ve started at Fireflies, money has been my least concern.
I stretch my hand back, reaching for his. He takes hold of it.
“Listen, bud, we are doing just fine, okay? You name the sport you want to play, and we will find a way to make it happen, I promise.” I give his hand a little squeeze.
His legs begin kicking. “Really?” I can hear the smile in his voice.
I pull into a parking spot at the school and turn, giving him my full attention. “Really, Jack.”
His smile is beaming, lighting up my whole world. I grab my water bottle and take a drink.
He shouts, overwhelmed with excitement, “Awesome! I want to play hockey.”
I begin choking, spitting the water out of my mouth. You’ve got to be kidding me. Could’ve been dance, football, soccer, basketball—literally anything else. But this boy of mine wants to play hockey?
I’m not going to let my own issues with a hockey player stop my son from playing the sport he wants.
I shake my head, laughing at the universe’s sense of humor. “All right, bud, hockey it is.”
With a smile stretching his face ear to ear, we walk into the school hand in hand, and he drags me to his classroom as fast as he can.
Jack is digging in his cubby when his teacher, Ms. Jaime, goes over his recent behavior and schoolwork.
Her voice is sweet, almost like honey. But boy, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t full of judgment. “He’s a bright boy. And a great student.”
I can feel a but coming.
“But”—there it is—“he just always seems distracted and acts out during lessons. And sometimes, he has a hard time listening. I thought maybe something could be going on at home?” She tilts her head to the side, pretending to be genuine.
I bite the inside of my cheek to refrain from snapping at his teacher. “No, nothing out of the ordinary is going on. I will talk to him about being more respectful during school. Is that all?” I sit back, squeezing my hands together, maybe a little too tight.
She sighs. “There is one more thing.” She pauses. “You’re aware of his friendship with Erick, right?”
“Yes,” I reply, wondering where in the hell this could be going.
“Okay, good. Well, I’ve been noticing little things between the two of them. They’ve been sharing snacks, and occasionally, I have caught them holding hands under their desks. Now, I know you’re a single mom.”
Oh, she’d better watch the next words that come out of her mouth.
She continues as I cut moon shapes into my palms, “But I think Jack could benefit from some masculinity. Maybe joining basketball or football?”
I swear I’m trying to be nice. But I have a really hard time when negative things are said about my son. Now, I didn’t know that he and Erick might have a little relationship, but why in the fuck does she think that it’s any of her concern?
Her tone of voice is about to meet my hand in five seconds.
She’s his teacher. She’s his teacher.
I look her dead in the eyes. Putting on my best customer-service voice, I say, “Ms. Jaime, thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. We actually just signed him up for hockey today.”
She sits back like she has accomplished what she wanted. “Oh good. I’m glad to see that he’s going to get some good boy time—outside of his friendship with Erick.” She says the word friendship like it’s poison.
I’m going to slap her.
“Oh, I didn’t finish.”
Her mouth drops open slightly.
“Jack will be in hockey, but that doesn’t change a damn thing about his friendship with Erick.” I stand up from my seat, looking down at her. “Let me make one thing clear with you, Ms. Jaime. I don’t give a flying fuck if my son kisses Erick in your classroom or confesses his love to him. I don’t give a fuck if my son wants to wear a skirt to school. He doesn’t own a skirt, but if he came home, wanting to, we would drive straight to the mall. And if anyone gave him a dirty look, I would say the same thing I’m about to say to you. Keep your judgmental-ass views away from my perfect son. His happiness isn’t hurting yours. So, leave it the fuck alone. And if you have any problems with that, we can continue this conversation with the principal and the school board. I’m sure they would love to hear all about it.” I turn and walk over to Jack, picking him up.
She finally rises from her seat, her face burning red. “Where do you think you’re going, Laura? We aren’t done here.”
I scoff at her. “I’m taking Jack dress shopping. I’d offer to grab you something, but I wouldn’t want to offend your delicate tastes.”
And with that, I escort my son to the office and check him out for a personal day. There is no way in hell I’m leaving him with that woman for another minute without talking with him.
I buckle him into his seat and then hop up next to him, still sitting in the school parking lot. “Jack, look at me.”
He turns, and his eyes are scared. But he stays quiet.
“Promise me one thing, okay?”
His bottom lip is quivering, mimicking the shakiness of his voice. “Okay.”
The stinging behind my eyes returns. “Promise me that no matter what anyone says or does, you will always be yourself.”
He sniffles and hesitates for a moment before saying, “Some kids pick on Erick and me.” His little voice shatters my heart.
“No one else’s opinion in this world matters but yours. What’s in here”—I poke his heart—“this is what’s important, okay?”
He doesn’t say anything, just throws his arms around my neck, sobbing into me. I absorb every tear of pain, feeling each one burn into my soul.
After he rids his body of all the pent-up sadness, I offer him the only thing I can think of to cheer him up. “Want to go ice skating?”
His mouth drops wide open, gasping. “Really?” he screams, not even two feet from me.
I laugh. “Yes. Let me call Char and Josh. I’m sure they’d love to go.”
And after I call Char, we soon meet up with them at the rink.
Oh my gosh, I haven’t been skating in years, not since Alec last took me.
We each get our skates, and I help lace Jack’s up. Char and Josh are already on the ice when we get off the ground.
To help give him some balance, I grab one of the walkers for Jack since he hasn’t been skating before.
“All right, buddy, careful first step here.” I position his hands on the bar as he takes his first step onto the ice.
He can barely contain the smile on his face. “Mom, look! I’m doing it!”
If by doing it, he means that he has both feet on the ice, then yes, he is indeed doing it.
Josh and Char skate up to us.
Josh goes to his other side. “Looking good, little man. Watch your mom. She’s practically a pro.”
“All right, Jack, watch my feet.”
We both pull to a stop before I take my first step forward, showing him how to push off.
“Transfer the weight from your right heel to your toes and push off, keeping your left foot straight. Like this.” I kick off with my right foot, showing him exactly what I said, riding the momentum out on my left foot. “See? Now, you try.”
Jack’s face is all business when he looks down to his feet. “Okay.”
He bends his knees, shifting his weight to his right foot and then transferring it back to his left as he pushes off.
We all clap for him.
“That was perfect. Now, do the same thing but with the other foot.”
He does as instructed and begins to transfer back and forth, back and forth. And after a few minutes, he is gliding on the ice all on his own.
Wow, he’s a natural. Can skating skills be genetic?
Char, Josh, and I follow closely behind him while he skates. After the first couple laps around the rink, he wants to ditch the walker.
I’m a little hesitant since it’s his first time out here, but he really is incredible. And I don’t want to hold him back.
“All right, buddy, if you fall, it’s okay. It might even hurt a little bit. But you will get up, dust it off, and try again.”
I grab the walker from him, and he does what he’s been practicing, kicking off and transferring his weight.
I don’t think he even needed the walker to start with. He’s absolutely brilliant. Like he was born to skate. I’m lost in awe that I barely even register Charlotte’s voice.
“Laura,” she says matter-of-factly, her tone a warning.
I turn to her, and she’s pointing off the ice, near where Jack’s skating. And my heart drops.
Alec and a few guys on his team just walked in and are heading for the entrance, right where Jack is about to be.
Oh God, I didn’t want their first meeting to be today, if ever.
I dig my blade in and take off, grinding my toe into the ice, flying between skaters, heading straight for Jack.
Alec’s laughing with Cam. They haven’t seen me yet.
I get to Jack, and Charlotte and Josh are a little behind me. I don’t need to use my words to tell them to get him out of here.
Charlotte and Josh take Jack and skate away.
Alec’s on the ice by the time I turn back. He’s definitely noticed me now, frozen in place.
I fly across the ice, barreling right to Alec, trying to make some kind of distraction so they can get Jack out of here. If and when Alec and Jack ever meet, it won’t be the same day that he cried in my arms about his boyfriend.
Alec shakes his head, wearing a hell of a shiner from Cam. His anger from that night seems to have faded. “The ice still suits you, Lu. Look, I want to apologize about the other night. I shouldn’t have overreacted. Just seeing you in another mans arms made me murderous. But I shouldn’t have taken that out on you.”
Holy shit, I have no time to process that right now. I’m so out of breath that I think I might faint. “Alec, can we talk later? I’m heading home right now.” For a brief second, I stare into his eyes, “I didn’t handle it the best myself. But I should probably go.”
Every cell in my body is begging me to turn around and see if Jack is gone, but I can’t give it away that I know Jack at all.
Suddenly, Jack’s voice cuts through the cheers and shouts in the room. “I don’t want to go. I want my mom!”
I don’t turn.
Alec breaks my gaze and looks to the noise, to the boy he doesn’t know who just wants his mom—wants me.
I hear Josh. “She’ll be out in a minute, bud.”
Alec’s head cocks to the side.
Oh no.
Jack shouts, and I hear Josh shriek. I can’t help but turn at the commotion. Jack is gliding across the ice toward me, like he’s been skating his whole life. I feel so much fear and pride at the same time.
But then my breath halts.
Everything’s colliding at once, and there’s nothing I can do right now to stop it.
I never wanted them to meet for the first time unplanned. I wanted to talk to Alec about how we would handle it, them meeting. I wanted time to figure it out. But time is running out as Jack glides on the ice.
Maybe Alec will just pretend he doesn’t know him, that this is just a little boy that he doesn’t want a relationship with.
Jack gains speed, and I suddenly realize we didn’t go over how to stop.
My eyes widen as he closes in.
“Jack, slow down!” I shout to him, instinct taking over. I drop down onto my knees on the ice and prepare for impact.
“Mom, look out!” Jack shouts.
Seconds later, he barrels into me, ice spraying around us. I slowly rise, holding Jack in my arms.
When I turn to finally face Alec, he’s completely in shock. His face is ghost white, jaw unhinged.
Alec studies Jack, looking over every inch of him like he is trying to decide if what he is seeing is real.
We stand in silence for what feels like forever before Jack breaks it. “Who are you?”
Alec’s wide eyes shoot to my face for a moment before he turns to Jack. He clears his throat. “My name’s Alec.” His voice is disconnected, almost like it isn’t him talking.
Jack shoots a hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jack. How do you know my mom?”
Alec’s voice is a whisper. “Your mom?”
