“So, are you going to tell me what the deal is?” Clancy asks me as we sit together in the dining hall later that same week.
It’s lunchtime and the place is heaving with dancers, stuffing their faces after a hectic morning of meeting their new teachers and getting more acquainted with each other.
I look at my bottle of water and my green apple and wish that I could spare a few quid on some of the delicious foods available. Being poor fucking sucks sometimes. But I’ve got to look on the bright side. As long as I’m here, I can deal with an empty stomach.
“Come on, spill,” Clancy insists, dragging my attention away from the wraps and salads, and back to her.
“It’s a long story…” I hesitate, not really wanting to divulge my history with the Breakers but knowing she won’t drop it unless I give her something.
“We’ve got an hour to kill before the final lesson this afternoon…” She smiles impishly, pulling a face.
“What, only one more meet the teacher session left to endure today?” I roll my eyes. I get why they need this week for everyone to settle in, but I’m not five and I just want to get on with it.
“Yep, that’s it for now. On Monday we can officially get back to checking out the competition… and the hotties,” she replies, wagging her eyebrows.
“No hotties for me.”
Clancy crinkles her nose, and chews on her lip. “Not even…”
“Especially not them,” I cut in, knowing exactly who she’s referring to.
“You are coming to Pink Albatross tonight, aren’t you? The whole cohort’s going. I’m planning on getting drunk and having some fun,” she asks, changing tactics.
“Nope, I’ve got to work. Sorry.” Though I’m not really that sorry. I wouldn’t be able to afford the entrance fee to the club anyway, or any of the drinks for that matter. Who in their right mind spends ten quid on a cocktail anyway?
“Boo! Can’t you call in sick?”
“Did that last Saturday night. I’ll be out of a job if I do that again anytime soon…”
Clancy chews on her lip. “Do you still get off at midnight?”
“Yes, but…” I start to protest, but she cuts in.
“That settles it then. I’ll come to Rocks with you and then we can head over to the Pink Albatross. I might even text Leo, see if he’s available to hook up…” she muses, tapping her chin with her finger. “Then again, I might just keep my options open. Plenty of dancers in the club, and all that.”
“Wait, no… I was just going to head back home after my shift.”
“Absolutely not. Anyone who’s anyone goes to the Pink Albatross the first Friday of the new term. It’s tradition apparently.”
“Clancy, I really appreciate your friendship, I do, but I can’t go.” I look down at my measly bottle of water and half-eaten apple as my stomach growls, giving me away better than any words could.
Clancy’s eyes widen, then her cheeks flush a little red. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think.”
“It’s alright. I don’t plan on being a pauper all my life. That’s why being here is so important to me. I need to make something of myself. I’ll do anything to make that happen.”
Clancy smiles, giving my hand a squeeze. “You are already something. You’re an amazing dancer and if there’s anyone who’ll have a career in dance when this year is up, it’s you.”
“I’d like to believe that’s true,” I reply, choked up by her compliment.
“You know what,” Clancy continues, oblivious to my inner turmoil, “Despite how Tiffany likes to present herself, my parents aren’t loaded. We’re not poor either but we did fall just under the threshold, enabling my father to apply for the scholarship for both of us. Despite that, my parents send me and Tiffany an allowance every week. What I’m getting at in a roundabout way is that I’ve got enough to pay your entry into the club too…”
“No,” I cut her off. “I don’t want to owe you.”
“I don’t want the money back, Pen. I really want you to come because it’s tradition, because you’re my friend and because I don’t want you to miss out. Besides, Tiffany is going too, and she’ll do everything to try and ruin my night if I don’t have back-up. I could use a friend.”
For the first time ever, Clancy drops the smiles she wears so beautifully and shows me her real face. Beneath the optimism is a girl with insecurities no thanks to her evil stepsister. I understand only too well what it feels like to live with someone who takes pleasure in making you feel unloved. How can I deny her now? Besides, I’ve always wanted to see what the Pink Albatross was like inside.
“Okay…” I say, hoping I don’t regret this.
“Okay, you’ll come?”
“Yeah, I’ll come.”
Clancy squeals and reaches across the table to hug me. “We are going to have so much fun!”
“Let’s not get too carried away…” I grin, but my smile fades when I see Zayn and York stroll into the dining hall with Tiffany and Sophie. Great, that’s all I need. Clancy follows my gaze, then stands abruptly.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she says overly cheery. “For the next hour, it’s just you and me, babe! We can discuss what we’re gonna wear tonight and you can spill your beans about those hotties that have got everyone in such a tizz. I’m a good listener, I promise.”
“Sounds like a plan. I need to pick up some supplies anyway.”
Making a quick exit, Clancy and I head out. Ten minutes later, we’re sitting on a park bench watching some toddlers and their mums have a picnic on the green. On the way, Clancy insisted on buying me a latte and a bun after she bought the same for herself in the coffee shop opposite the park. I try not to inhale the bun in one mouthful, and take measured bites instead, so it doesn’t look like I’m as hungry as I actually am.
“So, you were going to tell me about your… friends?” She screws up her face, not sure what to call them. I don’t know what to call them either. Actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly what I want to call them. Arseholes. They’re arseholes. Coming back here and fucking me with like this. This was always my dream, attending Stardom Academy. They knew that.
“We used to be.” I sigh heavily, and force myself to take a sip of the sweet coffee before continuing. Clancy remains quiet, probably realising how close I am to clamming up. “What I said in the dance studio was all true.”
“You mean about the crew you danced with…” Her voice trails off when realisation dawns. “Oh, they were your crew. Zayn, Xeno…”
“York and Dax. Yes.”
“Fuck me. You lucky cow,” she exclaims, her eyes gleaming. The swear words sound funny coming out of her mouth. She’s kind of posh. Well, maybe not posh, she’s just more well-spoken than I am. Which isn’t all that hard, I suppose.
“I was lucky to have them as friends.”
“Was…?”
“Yeah, was.” I sigh heavily. “Something happened three years ago. Something big. I can’t talk about it.”
“Because you don’t trust me?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. She doesn’t look hurt, just trying to understand.
“No, I think I can trust you. It’s just… It’s complicated. Actually, that’s not the exact truth. It’s dangerous. I can’t tell you. It’s better that way.”
“Fuck. Are they gangsters or something? I mean they look the part, but I thought that was just their thing. You know, badass dancers with tats and mean scowls, all mysterious and broody and sexy as fuck. Gets all the ladies hot under the collar, if you know what I mean?”
I raise an eyebrow, but concede her point. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. They look the part because that’s exactly what they are, gangsters.”
Clancy grins, her pretty white teeth gleaming in the sunlight. “Holy shit, girl. So what the fuck are they doing at Stardom Academy? I mean, I’m happy I get to ogle them and all, but…” I give her a look, and she holds up her hands. “I solemnly swear I won’t touch any of them with a bargepole, promise! Chicks over dicks, right?”
I’m more relieved than I let on. Clancy is definitely a keeper. “I don’t know why they’re here, honestly.”
“I bet they want you back in their gang. Are you living a double life too? Is my new best friend a gangster’s moll?”
I can’t help but laugh, but it comes out sounding a little strangled. “We’re not in the States, Clancy. This is London, we don’t have gangster molls.”
“Shame.” She grins at me, but her smile drops when I remain quiet.
“So, let me get this straight. You were in their gang as kids,” she begins but I cut her off.
“No, their dance crew. I was never in any gang.”
“Okay, so you were in their dance crew. Something heavy went down which you can’t tell me about because you might have to kill me if you do…” she smiles again, but it drops when I wince.
“I would never hurt you… not intentionally anyway,” I add, trying to make her understand what I’m mixed up in without having to spell it out.
“Okaaaay, fuck. I think I’m getting a picture here. Right. So, now they’re back and Xeno is a motherfucking bachata teacher at the academy. So fucking hot by the way.” I grimace, pushing away the memory of his possessive thumb pressing into my back that first morning. “Zayn is a hip-hop genius and York is a fricking tap-dancing gangster,” she continues excitedly. “What about the big, tatted dude you battled against at Rocks? I haven’t seen him at the academy.”
“Dax? I’m not sure.” My hands curl around my Styrofoam cup to stop them from shaking. Clancy notices and gives my arm a squeeze. “I swear to you Pen, you can trust me.”
I shake my head, blowing out a breath. “I’ve said too much already.”
“Okay, I get it. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, right? So, what are you going to do now?”
I think of that night three years ago and the deal I made. Swallowing the nausea rising up my throat, I take another sip of my coffee. “Stay out of the Breakers way and hope to fuck they get bored of all the mind games and leave me the hell alone.”
“You think that’s going to work?” she asks.
“It has too.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll have to figure out something else.”
