Lifting my hand, I stared blankly at the table while the book I’d just finished returned to its place. Knowing about the magic of light and dark elves was interesting since I was now certain Adira was a light elf, but I didn’t see how the knowledge could help me.
Eliana’s words floated around in my mind. Adira had given me access to the library for a reason. Sure, she made it sound like it was for my liaison duties, but other than checking the wickedness of new recruits, I hadn’t done much of anything. Adira had also admitted there was nothing useful about furies in the library. Why, then, give me access? What was I supposed to learn in here? That I was just one of the many creatures that the gods had created? That the gods created us on a whim to fulfil a myriad of purposes to fit whatever agendas had filled their minds? All I was doing was questioning the validity of our existence. If the gods were no longer here to fight over the humans, why were any of us needed?
Someone knocked on the door. Shaking my head to clear the questions, I stood and answered the knock. Eliana grinned at me from out in the hall.
“Where’s Oanen?” I asked. Since we’d agreed on taking things slow without me avoiding him, I’d assumed he wouldn’t avoid me either.
“Flying already. We’re meeting up at the Roost in thirty. That includes you.”
I groaned.
“None of that,” she said. “I know how you get when you’re cooped up in that house too long. Being cooped up in this library is no different. You’re my ride. Let’s go.”
Most of the cars were already gone by the time we reached the lot.
“How long ago did the bell ring?” I asked, getting in.
“Not long,” she said, joining me. “I figured I’d wait a few extra minutes so you didn’t have to deal with the crowds and me at the same time.”
“Getting tired of tackling me?” I asked with a grin as I backed out.
“Not at all. Those moments are always the highlight of my day. I just thought you might be a little mad with me after…” She shrugged and looked down at her hands.
“I get why you didn’t tell me, Eliana. It was the smart thing to do. I wasn’t ready, and you were protecting me.”
She snorted.
“No way. I wasn’t protecting you; I was protecting my soul. I’d made a promise before I knew you and couldn’t break it. Especially now that I know hell’s real. For what it’s worth, I think Oanen should have told you from the beginning. Keeping that kind of secret can ruin a relationship before it starts. I hope it doesn’t ruin yours, though. I want you both to be happy.”
Her words only made me feel a smidge of guilt about the secret I was keeping from her. No matter what she said, Fenris was right. Eliana wasn’t ready to know about his interest in her.
“Me too,” I said, staying on topic. “But I don’t see how that will be possible if I keep cooking Oanen every time he’s around me.”
“Have you asked yourself why it’s just him? I mean, you’re fine around Fenris.”
“Probably because I have zero interest in Fenris romantically.”
She made a non-committal sound.
“I’m serious. And I’m positive he has no real interest in me.” Before she asked how I knew that, I quickly changed the subject.
“Now, is it really necessary to go to the Roost? Given my instability, and how easy it is for my temper to go off lately, wouldn’t a girl’s night at home be better?”
“No. This is Oanen’s idea. You’re going to practice control. Oh, and he wants you to wear the dress.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that wouldn’t happen, but she spoke first.
“He thinks wearing it will be a helpful distraction. You’ll be too aware of the dress to be overly aware of any wickedness.” She shrugged as I pulled into my driveway. “He might be on to something. You were okay last time.”
“Do you not remember the incubus I punched in the face? I was far from okay last time. No. No dress tonight. It’ll put me more on edge, and I don’t need that.”
However, twenty minutes later, I tugged at my hemline as I sat in the car and wondered what the hell had happened to my determination.
“Thank you so much, Megan. It’s a lot easier to dress like this when you’re dressed the same.”
I glanced at her dress, glad we weren’t. She wore a floor-length lavender number with a side slit up to the top of her thigh and a v-neckline that exposed the valley between her breasts.
“I would trip if I ever had to wear that thing,” I said, pulling out of the driveway.
“It’s making me nervous that Adira’s picking out my dresses now. This one isn’t bad, but what about the next one?”
“Most girls would kill to have someone delivering dresses like that to their door.”
“Not if the gifts were from Adira. There’s always strings attached.”
“What do you have to do tonight?”
“Just dance. I pulled a page out of your book and threw down an ultimatum when she told me she wanted me to feed on the crowd’s sexual energy.”
“Oh? What was the ultimatum?”
She gave me a sheepish grin.
“If they don’t stop pushing, I’d call my mom and take her up on her offer.”
“What offer? I didn’t know you were still talking to your mom.”
“Yeah. That’s the only thing keeping her out of Uttira.”
“Hold up. I thought she left you here. Abandoned you.”
“Yes and no. Succubi don’t have maternal instincts by nature. That’s why she left me with my dad. When she came for me, it was to bring me here where I wouldn’t hurt anyone while she taught me how to fend for myself.”
“Weren’t you twelve when you got here?”
“You see the problem. She didn’t. The Quills didn’t, at first either. Twelve is old enough for most succubi. But it wasn’t for me. Oanen saw that right away. He’s the one who stepped in when my mom brought me to the Roost and told me to pick a boy to give my virginity to. Because of him, she let me stay with the Quills. Because of my phone calls and updates from Adira regarding my progress, my mom’s staying away. If I ask, she’ll come back and show me how a Succubus is meant to live, using every man, woman, and child in Uttira as her teaching instruments.”
“I can see why the Council would want to keep her away.”
“Exactly. I guess Mom’s one of the best. She doesn’t understand that I don’t want to have a horde of willing servants to satisfy my every whim. Her words not mine.”
“So instead of feeding on horny teenage boys since you were twelve, you’ve been starving yourself?”
“No. My mom wouldn’t have stayed away if I’d done that. I do feed when I have to.”
“How?”
“I’d rather not talk about it,” she said, blushing.
Since we were almost to the Roost anyway, I didn’t press for more.
“So how are you going to monkey-tackle me with that dress on?” I asked instead.
“With grace, hopefully,” she said as I parked.
I grinned at her, and we got out of the car. The cold air had us hurrying toward the door and the familiar thump of music.
Inside, people danced as usual while others congregated in conversation around the couches or on the second-floor balcony around the bar. Familiar faces glanced our way as the gust of cold air swept in behind us. Thankfully, I didn’t feel any strong threads of wickedness in the crowd. I did, however, spot Fenris with his her-herd in the center of the floor. He winked at me and kept dancing.
“I see Ashlyn, Kelsey, and Zoe. Let’s go say hi,” Eliana said. She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the back of the room. I didn’t mind skipping the dance floor for now.
“Hey, guys,” Eliana chirped happily. “Any problems?”
All three sat at the table. Each appeared to be reading a book. I knew better.
“None,” Kelsey said without looking up. “Ashlyn’s coaching has made a world of difference.”
Ashlyn snorted.
“Coaching? What coaching? All I told you was to ignore everyone. And that it works better if you have something to pretend you’re distracted.”
“There was more than that,” Zoe said with a roll of her eyes. “But she made us promise not to tell.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “Whatever keeps you guys safe.”
Zoe’s gaze shifted from me to someone over my shoulder. I turned and found Jenna standing there, looking much better than she had the last time I’d seen her.
“I just wanted to say thank you, Megan.”
“For what?”
“Aubrey was a bitch. Not the good kind. Stopping her was the best thing you could have done for us girls and for the pack. And, having her away makes life much nicer. I just wanted to let you know we think you’re great, even if Fenris spends way too much time watching you.”
I smiled as Fenris came up behind her just then.
“Hey, Fenris. We were just talking about you,” I said.
Jenna’s eyes went wide, and she gave Fenris a sheepish look.
“All good things, I hope.” His gaze slid over my dress before briefly flicking to Eliana and the rest of our group. “You girls look lovely tonight,” he said, once again looking at me. “Any chance that you’ll dance with me?”
“You know what? Dancing sounds like a great idea,” I said. I held out my hand for Eliana.
“I think I’m going to sit this one out,” she said.
“What? Why? We came here to dance.”
“I don’t think I had enough for dinner.” Her gaze pleaded with me to understand. And I did. When she blinked at me, I could see a brief flash of inky blackness creeping into her gaze. She warned me once before that Fenris had way too much lust oozing off of him. I kept my shock inside as I realized all the lust was because of her.
“Fine, I’ll do this one solo.” I turned to Fenris. “Looks like you’re stuck with just Jenna and me.”
“I don’t mind.” He took my hand, and Jenna’s and led us on to the dance floor. Jenna grinned before busting a move in front of me. I smiled and started dancing until Fenris’ arms circled me from behind. He pressed close and inhaled deeply with his nose buried in my hair. Now that I knew what he was doing, I didn’t mind it. However, I was pretty sure Jenna did, based on her expression.
I mouthed “sorry” to her, and she shrugged lightly.
A shiver of awareness ran down my spine as if I were being watched. I looked around the crowded room while still dancing with Jenna and Fenris. A t-shirt, like the ones that Oanen usually wore, fell from above. I looked up, and my gaze collided with Oanen’s as he gripped the balcony rail with one hand. The blue lights reflected off his chest. It was an amazing view that I couldn’t really enjoy because his eyes were golden and very angry.
I stopped dancing.
With a small jump, Oanen launched himself over the railing. His gaze never left mine as he fell, and his wings burst forth to slow his descent. He landed in a crouch, and his gaze shifted to Fenris, who stopped dancing behind me but still had his arm hooked around my waist.
“Looks like you’re not the only one with anger issues,” Fenris said, much too close to my ear. “Because of what you’re doing for me, I won’t hit back.”
Before I could tell him to cut it out and let go, he pushed me into Jenna’s arms. I turned in time to see Oanen’s fist connect with Fenris’ face.
“Oanen, stop,” I yelled. He didn’t. Neither did most of the dancers or the music.
I grabbed Jenna’s wrist and pulled her off of me just as Oanen hit Fenris again. Jenna whined in protest but didn’t try to stop me once I was free. Stalking up to my irate boyfriend, I lifted my hand and caught his next swing with my palm.
His furious gaze shifted to mine.
“Outside, now,” I said.
He jerked away from me, grabbed his shirt from the floor and stalked outside. I followed close on his heels. As soon as the door closed behind us and the music muted to the point we could talk, he stopped. He didn’t turn toward me, though.
“We need to understand each other’s rules so you don’t go around trying to beat up my friends all the time. I mean, are you going to hit Eliana the next time I kiss her?”
“You plan to kiss her again?”
“If she needs me to, yes.” I stared at his tense back in frustration. “Oanen, this isn’t going to work if you have so little trust in me. I was dancing with friends, not having sex with them.”
“You sure? Because it looked like that was where it was headed.”
I lost it. My insides flashed so hot I thought I’d boil alive. Instead, the car right in front of Oanen exploded into flames.
I didn’t care that a piece of metal flew from the car and hit him or that the fire would probably burn him. He could fry for all I cared. I wanted him to hurt like he’d just hurt me.
I took a step forward, ready to spin him around and give him a five-digit present when something hit me from behind.
“Are you kidding me?” I screeched as I went down.
The anger didn’t disappear all at once but in slow degrees. As soon as I was in my right mind enough to know who I was struggling to get off my back, I stopped and just lay there, cheek against the cement.
I closed my eyes, hating myself. Could I get any lower? No. I’d managed to get every one of my friends hurt tonight. I could smell Eliana’s melted dress. Guilt and shame clawed at my insides and ate away at whatever remaining hope I had for controlling the fury growing inside of me.
Eliana pressed tighter against me, and her hand brushed over my head.
“Shh,” she said softly in my ear. “I have you, Megan. You won’t hurt anyone else.”
The last of my anger left me as did every other emotion. I lay there languid in the nothingness I felt.
“Are you okay, Oanen?” she asked.
“Fine. Megan?”
“She’s not injured on the outside. Inside, she’s not okay. We better get Adira.”
Something moved inside of me. I wanted to feel anger toward Adira but couldn’t. It kept slipping away from me. I felt stifled and raw.
“Get off me, Eliana.”
“I can’t. I promised I wouldn’t let you hurt anyone. If I let go, you will. And, I won’t break my promise.”
Again, any hint of the anger or frustration I wanted to feel slipped away, along with my will to shake her off and stand. I continued to lay there as someone called Adira.
I never felt the portal open; it was already too cold on the ground to feel a temperature difference. But I knew the moment she arrived anyway.
“Your parents are on their way, Oanen,” Adira said. “You can get up now, Eliana.”
“It’ll be okay, Megan,” Eliana whispered in my ear.
Her weight lifted off of me. Before I could move, a hand settled on my shoulder. My stomach twisted as Adira’s portal shifted me from the cement to my bed. Suddenly laying face up, I was too disoriented to do anything as Adira leaned over me and kissed my forehead.
Darkness closed over my consciousness, smothering the rage that had once again been trying to consume me from the inside.
“Rest.”
That word followed me into the void.
