I woke at four in the morning with an instant awareness of what I’d done the evening before. The vision of that piece of metal flying toward Oanen’s torso filled my mind along with the smell of Eliana’s burned dress. Guilt threatened to suffocate me.
“Please let it not be that bad,” I said as I reached for my phone.
I had a message typed and ready to send when I hesitated. If Oanen was hurt and recovering, I didn’t want to wake him. Yet, if he was awake, he’d likely be worrying about me. That was his normal mode of operation. I frowned and looked at the phone. If he was awake, though, why didn’t I have a text from him already? Worried, I sent my first text followed quickly by a second.
Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.
Please don’t give up.
When there was no immediate reply, I told myself he was still sleeping and sent a text to Eliana.
I’m sorry about last night. Are you and Oanen all right?
Instead of hovering near the phone until she answered, I went downstairs to make myself something to eat.
Two hours later, dressed and ready for the Academy, my self-delusion had evaporated. Neither Oanen nor Eliana had answered me. That could only mean one of two things. I’d either hurt them both so badly that they couldn’t answer me. Or, they’d both given up on me. I doubted the latter. While Oanen might want to give up because of jealousy, I couldn’t see Eliana giving up on me for what I’d done.
After a twenty-minute internal debate over just going to their house, I drove to Girderon early and continued to worry about both of them. Ashlyn arrived not long after with Eugene in the passenger seat of her car.
“Hey, Megan,” she said as soon as she opened the door. “I’m glad you’re here. I was a little nervous about bringing Eugene on my own.”
It clicked that Ashlyn had been at the Roost last night, and I hurried toward her.
“Have you heard from Eliana? I’m worried that I hurt her last night.”
Surprise flitted over Ashlyn’s features.
“Hurt her? How?”
“You didn’t hear the car explode after I went outside?”
“No. After Oanen hit Fenris, Eliana saw you and Oanen head outside and followed you. She sent a text later, saying that you guys were all heading home and that Adira would make sure that we got home okay.”
“I missed a fight?” Eugene asked.
I turned my attention to him. Not only did he now wear clean clothes that complemented his jet-black hair and dark brown eyes, he also looked happy.
“Don’t worry. You’re bound to see a lot more if you decide to stay here.”
He laughed.
“It’s already decided. I love it here.”
Ashlyn rolled her eyes but looked amused.
“You haven’t even had your first day of school,” I said.
“Doesn’t matter. Look at how clean I am. They can do what they want to me in there, and I would die happy because I never thought I’d be clean and warm again.”
Another car pulled in. Red and glossy with three blonde heads mixed in with one dark one, I knew right away who’d arrived.
Fenris waved as he held the door for Jenna. I noted that he looked completely unharmed by the two hits he’d taken last night. The girls looked over Eugene with keen interest as their group joined us.
“Everyone, this is Eugene. He’s new to Uttira.” I looked at Jenna and the other girls. “Would you mind keeping an eye on him while I talk to Fenris a minute about last night?”
Jenna nodded easily.
“Sure thing. We’ll make sure nothing eats him.”
The other girls grinned and wrapped their arms through his. Eugene smiled widely and gave me a thumbs-up before allowing them to lead him inside. Ashlyn followed with a shake of her head.
Alone, I faced Fenris. He watched me closely, his normal, easy smile absent.
“I’m worried that I hurt Oanen and Eliana last night. Please tell me you saw them after we went outside.”
A look of relief crossed his features.
“I thought you were going to tell me I needed to stop touching you,” he said, his boyish grin returning.
“I’m getting to that part, too. First, tell me what happened after I left.”
He shrugged his shoulders and sighed slightly.
“I didn’t want to make things worse, so I stayed inside. I heard the explosion a few seconds after Eliana followed you two out. I tried to get outside along with half of everyone else in the Roost. By the time I pushed my way to the front, I caught a glimpse of Mrs. Quill stepping through a portal before it closed. You, Eliana, and Oanen were gone.”
That didn’t help ease my worry at all.
“You need to tell Oanen the truth,” I said, ignoring the cars parking behind him. “He’s jealous of you.”
Fenris snorted. “If I told him the truth, he wouldn’t just punch me in the face; he’d try to kill me. Griffins are protective, if you haven’t noticed. The only reason he’s not angrier at me for the attention I’ve been giving you is because he knows he has your heart. No, I’d like to leave things the way they are for a while.”
“Fine. Then, no more hugs for you.”
He made a face.
“Now you’re just being mean. But, that’s all right. I’ll love you anyway.”
One of the people walking past us started walking faster, no doubt looking to spread that bit of gossip.
“And to prove my love,” Fenris continued, “I’ve been considering your problems and think I found a way to help you. How do you put out a fire?”
“It depends on the kind of fire. Why are you asking?”
He chuckled.
“I’ve seen the flames in your eyes and Oanen’s burns. There’s a fire inside of you. You’re trying to control the burn, right? Try putting it out.”
He winked at me and merged with the flow of students going into the building. I stood there, thinking about what he’d said and waiting for any sign of Eliana’s car or Oanen’s shadow in the sky. When the first session bell rang, I gave up and went inside in search of Adira. Her door was tightly closed as usual, but there was no answer when I knocked. Frustrated, I checked rooms until I found Eugene with Ashlyn. Seeing them safe, I went to the library.
Words drifted before my eyes but none of them stuck in my mind. Hours passed. No one knocked on the door, and the growl of my stomach grew louder. Giving up, I went outside and waited in my car until the final session bell rang.
The cars cleared the parking lot in droves. While I waited to find out how Eugene’s first day went, I sent the same text to both Oanen and Eliana.
I’m trying not to freak out, but your silence is scaring me. Please call as soon as you can.
Not long after I hit send, Ashlyn and Eugene emerged from the building along with Fenris and his girls. They all were talking and smiling. A part of me hated them for their good moods. Why couldn’t I be like that?
Eugene spotted me and jogged over to my car. Fenris and his girls kept going to their vehicle, but he gave me a small nod of acknowledgement.
“Hey, Megan,” Eugene said. “I just wanted to let you know I haven’t changed my mind. Thanks for introducing me to Jenna. She and her friends are great.”
“I’m glad you like it here. Just don’t forget what this place is, and be careful.”
He nodded and went to catch up with Ashlyn, who gave me a wave as she got into her car. Feeling defeated and alone, I started to back out of my spot. My phone chirped. I slammed on the brakes and picked it up.
My eyes devoured Eliana’s message.
I’m coming over as soon as I can. Don’t freak out.
I read the last line twice. What did she mean by that? Why did she think I would freak out when I saw her?
Checking behind me, I finished backing out and sped home. Once there, I paced in the kitchen, freaking out despite her warning not to.
When I finally heard Eliana’s car, I had the door opened before she even parked. I focused on her face as she got out. She looked okay. Sort of. She was wearing more makeup than I’d ever seen her wear before.
“You had to use makeup to cover the burns?” I asked. Fear laced my words.
“No,” she said, hurrying toward me. “I didn’t. Look closely. The skin’s all good. Let’s go inside before you set something out here on fire.”
I nodded and went inside with her. She held out a hand, which I clasped before hugging her tightly.
“I was worried I hurt you guys so badly you couldn’t even text me,” I said against her hair.
“I swear I’m fine,” she said.
“Oanen?” I asked as I pulled back to look at her.
“Hurt, but not badly. All stuff that will heal.”
“What happened? Why didn’t you guys call me?”
“A lot’s happened. Let’s sit down. I’ve got an hour before I need to be back home.”
I sat across from her and noticed how beautiful her eyes looked with dark mascara and eyeshadow.
“If you’re not wearing makeup to cover something up, why are you wearing it? I mean, it looks great; it’s just very different from what you usually do.”
“The makeup ties in to my visit.” She reached across the table and held my hand again. “After the car exploded last night and Adira returned you, she and the Quills decided Oanen and I were hindering your progress.”
“They what?” My anger wanted to rear its ugly head but couldn’t, thanks to Eliana.
“We’re not supposed to see you for a while. Especially Oanen. They took away his phone and have forbidden him from leaving the house for five days. Once they know he can control his urges to see you, they will allow him to leave the house, but he’s done attending the Academy until you receive your mark.”
Here and there, heat caressed me from the inside only to disappear. The Council was taking everything from me. My friends. The only family I had now. Even though I couldn’t feel my anger, I could feel the overwhelming sensation of being alone and trapped.
I tried to stay focused on Eliana as she continued her story.
“The Quills were supposed to take my phone away, but I promised them I wouldn’t text you without permission. When I got your last message, I knew someone needed to tell you what was going on before you lost control completely. I used heavy makeup as a bargaining chip. A week of makeup for an hour to talk to you.”
My hands shook. I lived alone in the house where my mom had abandoned me; yet, my life had never before felt so controlled and managed by others.
“I know you’re angry, Megan. Oanen is too. So am I. We just need to prove to the Council that he and I have nothing to do with the speed of your progress. Honestly, they should know that already. Look at me, right?”
“You’re walking proof that they’re right. Because of me, you’re wearing makeup. Don’t you see? We’re all pawns on a chessboard to them. They move us around to manipulate our actions and reactions to each other. Now, the Council is taking you and Oanen out of the equation. Since we know you two aren’t hindering anything—I mean, look at how fast these new abilities appeared—we have to ask ourselves why. Why are they separating us? Do they want a certain reaction out of one of us? What do they hope to accomplish?”
I took a deep, slow breath and let go of her hand.
“You should go. Let Oanen know I’m thinking of him.”
She stood and gave me another hug.
“I will. I’d tell you to behave but…” She lifted a shoulder and gave me a knowing grin.
“I’ll give ‘em hell when I’m ready.”
She nodded and left.
For the rest of the night, I dwelled on the possible reasons behind the Quills’ and Adira’s decision.
I looked at the phone number and hesitated to answer. Last time an unknown number had contacted me, I’d found a dead body in the alley of the Roost. While discovering that body had, ultimately, helped catch the murderer, I wasn’t up for any super sleuthing today. After waking up to a yard full of snow, I wasn’t in the mood for anything more than a day binge-watching TV.
The phone stopped ringing, but a moment later a text message came through.
We require your assistance. Please meet me at the Quills’ in twenty minutes. Adira.
I tapped out a quick reply.
I thought I wasn’t allowed anywhere near Oanen or Eliana. You wouldn’t want to keep me from reaching my true potential, would you?
Her reply was immediate.
Of course not. That’s why we’ll keep the meeting brief. See you soon.
I growled, turned off the TV, and got ready. In less than five minutes, I was on the road.
“Maybe this is a test,” I told myself. “If I do well, they’ll let me spend time with Oanen and Eliana. If I don’t do well, maybe they’ll kick me out of their crap town.” I grinned at that thought. Outside of Uttira, I’d finally have a chance at gaining the answers I needed.
“So, I either need to play this really cool or lose my shit completely. There can be no middle ground,” I warned myself. And since the likelihood of them kicking me out was low, I knew I’d need to try to play nice.
When I reached the Quills’ house, I parked in the neatly plowed driveway. As usual, Mrs. Quill opened the door well before I reached it.
“Hello, Megan,” she said with a welcoming smile.
“I can’t decide what’s real or not with you,” I said instead of a polite greeting. “I mean, do you honestly like me? It’s hard to say when I’m not welcome in your home unless I can serve some menial purpose. Speaking of…what can I do for you today?”
I couldn’t believe I’d managed to get all those words out while keeping a smile on my face. Oanen’s mother’s smile, however, had faded.
“We never meant for you to feel used or unwelcome. We’re only trying to do what’s best for both of you.”
“Right,” I said. “Because actually giving answers and guidance doesn’t do anyone any good. Got it. Now, what was it I could do for you?”
“We have someone in the study we would like you to meet.”
“Lead the way,” I said, fighting to keep my cheery smile.
I followed her up the stairs to the familiar study where Adira and Mr. Quill already sat with another woman. She was petite, blonde, and only a blip in my wicked radar. She was also much older than any of the other recruits.
“Megan,” Adira said. “I’d like you to meet Uttira’s new liaison officer, Anne Regan.”
I stood there for a moment, unsure what to feel. I hadn’t ever really wanted to be a liaison. Yet, the idea of someone else keeping an eye on the kids I’d okayed to live here felt wrong. Mostly, I felt set up, again. It felt like they were trying to control me in some way. Or maybe my reaction.
“Anne Regan, did the Council tell you what I am?”
“I’m sorry, no.”
“Don’t be sorry. Be aware. I’m a fury. I’ve been told I’m supposed to punish the wicked.”
“You are, Megan,” Adira said.
“And yet, you stopped me, Adira.” I focused on Anne again. “They say they have our best interests at heart. And those of the humans. I can’t say I’ve seen much proof of that, though. Watch those in the Council closely. Stand up for the humans. And, don’t ever let me find out you’re doing otherwise.”
I turned and started out of the room.
“Aren’t you going to ask about Oanen?” Adira said.
“Don’t toy with me, Adira. I’m young and inexperienced now, but I won’t always be.”
I walked out of the study and almost collided with a wide-eyed Eliana. She grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs.
“I heard,” she whispered when we reached the front door. “I’m sorry they took that away from you.”
“It’s no big deal. They said it would be temporary. I better go. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
She grinned slightly.
“After your parting comment, I don’t think they’re going to do anything to upset you for a while.” She hugged me tightly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I left the house with a heavier heart than when I’d entered. When I reached my car, I looked back and caught sight of Oanen in a third-floor window. He stood there with his hands in his front pockets as he watched me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling in that moment, but I knew what he needed from me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
A hint of a smile curved his lips, and I knew he’d heard me.
