The druid’s concern cut through my self-loathing. I turned my head away from what I’d done and opened my eyes. As I moved, I noticed there was less pain than before.
“The paste is helping. I don’t hurt as much,” I assured him.
“You’re crying blood, though.”
“Yeah, that’s just something I do when I’m upset.”
I wiped away the tears, careful of my tender skin.
“Or when you’re in extreme pain,” Zayn said.
I eased myself into a sitting position and tucked the edges of the blanket under my butt, a thin barrier against the cold cement.
“How do you know so much about furies?” I asked.
He gave me a wry smile.
“I’d prefer not to say. Why are you upset?”
I waved a hand at the dragon and exhaled heavily.
“I hate what I am. What I do. I don’t even know what the dragon did to deserve that, but I couldn’t stop it.”
Zayn, who’d been hunkered down on the balls of his feet, sat and studied me. In turn, I did the same. This was the first time I really looked at him without his hood up. And, everything I’d noted before had been done in a fog of panic or anger. I hadn’t noticed the green flecks in his kind, hazel eyes or how his hair was long enough it was showing a hint of wave as it fell around his head in disarray. Mostly, I hadn’t noticed the crease lines marking his forehead. A sign of constant worry or constant surprise?
“In all the research I’ve done,” he said slowly, “I’ve never heard of a fury who didn’t embrace what she was.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know what I was until a few months ago. My mom ditched me in Uttira without a word of explanation. I thought I was human.”
“That had to be a shock.”
I shrugged lightly.
“Not as much as it should have been. I guess deep down, I knew something was wrong with me.”
“Wrong?”
“I don’t want to be who I am. I don’t know what the hell is going on half the time. I hate the urges I have to hurt people when I don’t even know why. The gods are assholes for making me this way.”
“Not gods. Just one. You serve Hades.”
“Awesome. Know where he is? I’d like to throat punch the asshole.”
Zayn laughed.
“He’d probably find it amusing. You furies are like his daughters. I’m not sure there’s much you could do wrong in his eyes.”
“Lovely.”
“You didn’t kill him, by the way. The dragon, I mean.”
I arched a brow and glanced at the burnt body.
“His current condition would beg to differ,” I said.
“He was gone before the flames consumed him. I gave him the peaceful, quick end he’d asked for. It wasn’t murder. I had his consent.”
“I’m too tired and hurt to care one way or another. As long as you’re gone before I get my wicked radar back, we’re good.” I studied his hazel eyes for a moment. “Why are you doing this? Killing all these creatures?”
“Not killing,” he said with a pacifying gesture. “I collect their life-energy, or soul, depending on whatever you believe, which they gave freely.”
“Okay. But why?”
He grew serious and slightly sad.
“You saw my sister. She’s a prisoner of her own home. Because of magic. Because the gods are cruel and made my twin mortal.”
Twin? I wasn’t expecting that.
Somewhere nearby, a phone buzzed.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Megan Smith.”
“I’m glad I met you. I hope you’ll remember this conversation when you wake.”
Insistent buzzing near my ear brought me back out of my magically induced sleep. There was no groggy disorientation this time. I knew right where I was and exactly what had happened. It was hard not to remember with the throbbing pain drumming inside my skull and the sickening dance going on in my stomach. I opened my eyes and managed to prop myself up enough so I could throw up.
When I finished heaving, I looked around.
Zayn was gone. He’d left behind his jacket, though, which he’d laid over me for extra warmth. And my phone. He must have removed it from my coat before sticking me in his shield. I hadn’t even thought to check for it after freeing my hands. I’d been too busy with the fury fire burning inside of me.
While I was grateful it hadn’t burned up with the rest of my things, I was more grateful that I hadn’t thrown up on it. I needed to call Oanen. He was probably worried as hell.
Sighing, I sat up and winced at the pain on my forearms. Zayn’s paste had healed most of the burns I’d gained from my little stunt, but the deeper ones on both forearms remained. They throbbed in time with the older burns.
I hissed out a breath and wished I had more of Zayn’s ass-paste to eat.
I frowned at that thought, knowing it hadn’t come out right.
My phone buzzed again, distracting me, and I picked it up. Oanen’s name showed brightly on the display.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Where are you?” His clipped, angry words made me smile. I’d never been so glad to hear his voice.
“I’m not sure. And no, I’m not going outside to check. I’m lying naked on the floor with a blanket and a jacket covering me.”
Nothing but silence answered me for several, long heartbeats.
“Whose?”
“Whose what?”
“Whose jacket is covering you?”
“That doesn’t matter. Just come get me. I’ll turn on my GPS and text you the location.”
The line went dead. That seemed a bit overdramatic. I wrinkled my nose at the phone but did as I said I would. Less than a second after I sent the location, he sent back that he was on his way.
With a sigh, I scooted away from my vomit pile and lay back down on the cold floor. It felt good on my head but was making the rest of me ache.
I dozed lightly until a door banged nearby.
“Megan?” Oanen’s voice rang out.
“Here.”
I didn’t bother trying to sit up. I was too tired. Too cold.
Steps scraped against the floor, drawing closer.
When I blinked my eyes open, Oanen was there, already bending down toward me. His carefully blank mask never slipped, but the hold he had on what he was feeling did. Rage, something close to that of a fury’s, filled my head along with a paralyzing fear.
“Please tell me you brought the car,” I said softly. “I’m too cold to fly.”
He made a pained sound and scooped me into his arms. Without a word, he turned on his heel and walked back the way he’d come.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his rapidly beating heart.
Moments came and went. Him buckling me in. The vibration of the tires on the road. The sound of cars. The feeling of being carried upstairs. The soft sheets rubbing against the raw places still remaining on my skin. Then, nothing for a while.
When I opened my eyes again, the pain in my head had been downgraded to a mild headache, and the sun had come up to light the bedroom.
I rolled from my side to my back and winced.
The bed beside me moved, and I looked up at Oanen, who was leaning against the headboard.
“How long have I been out?”
“Almost six hours.”
I groaned and struggled to sit up, the jacket and blanket from Zayn hampering my movements.
“What happened, Megan? You promised not to leave the car.”
His tone had me whipping my head in his direction mid-struggle.
“Are you serious right now? You know better than anyone else what I am. How little control I have over what I do. What the hell do you think happened?”
“I don’t know. Where are your clothes? And who gave you this jacket?”
My fury lifted its head wearily.
“No,” I said firmly. “I’m not doing this. I’m not going to get angry with you. And I’m not going to deal with your pouty possessiveness right now.”
Ignoring the aches and pains, I threw off the jacket and blanket and rose naked from the bed.
“I burned away my clothes and a lot of my skin. Zayn Sias, the druid we’ve been looking for, covered me and gave me some paste to make the worst of it go away.
“When you’re in your right mind, I’ll keep my promise, and we’ll talk.”
I turned my back to him, ignored his soft curse, and marched my butt to the bathroom. After I used the toilet and brushed my teeth, I attempted a shower. It didn’t last longer than a hurried hair wash to remove the puke smell. Instead of reaching for a towel to dry off, I just stood there, dripping.
On the other side of the iced-glass partition, the bathroom door opened.
“Did you send him to hell?” Oanen asked.
“No. I can’t send anyone to hell. All I do is hurt myself every time I try.”
“You hurt yourself trying to send him to hell?”
“No. He’s innocent as far as my fury is concerned. I didn’t do anything to him.”
There was a long moment of silence.
“I’m trying to understand, Megan, but you’re making it hard.”
I knew he was trying to understand what had happened to me, but he was focusing on who I was with rather than what happened to me. I opened the door so he would get the full picture.
His gaze swept over me, lingering on the burn on my chest and the ones on my hip and arms.
“There’s the burn on my back, too. Four times, Oanen. Since the lake, I’ve tried to send someone to hell four times. Each time, I pass out and wake up with a burn and the inability to feel wickedness.”
Understanding started to light his eyes as he crossed his arms.
“The numbness doesn’t last long. A day or two, at most. Then I start feeling the wickedness again. That’s what I was feeling yesterday in the car. The wickedness was everywhere, but I was sitting there trying to resist the urge to get out and beat someone because I’d promised you I’d stay put. I don’t know what happened next. I don’t remember leaving, only waking up where you found me.
“Zayn was there along with three dragons. He’s not what we thought he was.”
“What’s that?” Oanen asked softly.
“A killer. He isn’t killing the people we’re finding dead. He’s asking them for their life-force. And some of them are so unhappy with their lives, they’re willingly giving it.” I looked at the burns on my arms. “These are because one of the dragons was wicked. Very, very wicked. I wanted to hurt him so badly that I couldn’t stop myself.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“I remember grabbing him by his throat and then feeling pain. So much pain. When I came to, the dragon was burnt to a crisp. But, Zayn was still there. He was worried I’d pushed myself too far and was trying to heal me. The paste he gave me helped take away some of the pain and heal some of the burns.
“I don’t know what he’s doing with the life forces he’s collecting, but I don’t think it’s for anything bad. If it was, I would have sensed his wickedness last night before I tried punishing the dragon.”
“I don’t care about who’s wicked or punished or any of that,” Oanen said, slowly stalking toward me.
“What I care about is standing in front of me. Bruised. Battered. In pain. And I can’t do a thing about it. You’re killing me, Megan. Slowly. Methodically. And I can’t walk away.”
He stopped in front of me and gently put his forehead against mine. I felt every ounce of his anguish.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hurting for both of us.
“Those aren’t the words I want to hear.”
I knew what words he wanted. And even though admitting it terrified me, I owed him the truth.
“I love you, Oanen. So much it hurts to breathe at the thought you might be ready to give up on me.”
His hand cupped the back of my head.
“Never,” he said just before his lips touched mine.
He stole my breath with each gentle taste and touch until I broke away, panting. He set his forehead on mine again.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You did. You gave me your heart. It’s mine. Now and always. It’s all I’ve wanted since our first flight.”
I smiled softly before reality intruded.
“We need to call the Council and tell them what happened.”
He exhaled heavily and pulled back from me.
“I doubt they’ll listen. They know there’s something wrong with your abilities and aren’t trusting your word.”
My fury tried to lift her head again.
“Nope,” I said firmly. “Not worth it. Save your strength.”
Oanen gave me an odd look.
“I’m not going to let my fury get riled up over the Council. She needs a break, or my powers will kill me.”
His expression grew serious, and as he moved away to grab some ointment, I continued to air dry and stare off into space.
“We can’t sit here and do nothing. We know what Nicolette is like. How she gets in a person’s head and makes them do things they might not want to do otherwise. If she does that to Eliana…”
“Eliana is stronger than you think,” he said.
“She’s also more fragile than you want to admit.”
Oanen started spreading ointment on my burns, soothing the rest of my pain. It was nice having someone wait on me.
My eyes widened.
“Elbner,” I said loud enough to make Oanen wince.
“Sorry. I just realized we have a witness. Elbner can tell the Council it was Zayn.”
“Elbner is still spelled.”
“Yes, but once it’s out that we know it’s Zayn, it’s common knowledge; and he’ll be able to speak it. Just like the library, right?”
Oanen’s lips twitched.
“I love seeing the excitement in your eyes,” he said.
“I gotta get my phone.”
I moved to run from the bathroom at the same moment he reached forward to dab more salve on my front. Instead of touching the burn, his fingers brushed the top of my right breast. We both froze.
Gold exploded in his eyes, and his palm slowly closed over me, making my skin tingle with an expanding warmth.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” I said breathlessly, “but this really isn’t the right time.”
He nodded, but his fingers began stroking the sensitive skin. I pressed forward into his palm. His hand lightly tested the weight and shape of me. Then his thumb brushed over the peak.
I struggled to keep my head as heat licked its way from my middle upward. Need scorched me, and I knew it wasn’t all my own when his pupils dilated.
“Oanen. We need to think of Eliana.”
He made a pained noise and removed his hand.
“Go.”
I fled the bathroom and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. It was hard to hear the dial tone over the beating of my heart.
“Eliana, you need to get to Elbner,” I said as soon as she answered. “Tell him I know his master was Zayn Sias. I know Zayn was the one responsible for all the creatures who died with a smile. Tell Elbner I’m making it common knowledge. Once you do that, you should be able to take him to the Council as a witness. Got it?”
“Yes. Zayn Sias. Got it. Thank you.”
She hung up without saying anything else. I could only imagine how stressed out she was with her mom there.
A gentle touch to my back had me looking over my shoulder. Oanen’s gaze was locked on the burn there, but I could tell from his eyes that his mind was still focused on something else.
“I don’t think there’s anything else for us to do here,” I said.
“Oh, I think there’s plenty to do.”
“I mean, now that we know the cause behind the deaths, we should probably leave. Track down my great-grandma.” Even as I said it, I mentally cringed at the idea.
“There’s no rush. We can wait a few days for you to heal.”
I knew what he had in mind while we waited and turned fully to capture his hands.
“I don’t think you understand.”
“I’ll admit it’s been a little hard to focus with you walking around naked.”
“You do it all the time.”
He nodded slowly, letting his gaze drift downward, and sighed wistfully.
“But I don’t look like you.”
I snorted a laugh.
“Don’t move.”
He stayed where I left him while I went to his suitcase and grabbed one of his button-down shirts. It was soft and big and easier to put on than a t-shirt. With the sleeves rolled up and only a few middle buttons used, it didn’t bother any of my burns, either.
He groaned as I walked toward him.
“You have no idea how sexy you are. Wearing my shirt just made it so much better.”
“Focus, Oanen.”
He heaved a sigh and sat on the edge of the bed.
“What don’t I understand?”
“I’m stuck in a spiral of self-destruction. I feel someone wicked, try to send them to hell, burn myself in the process, and suppress my abilities for a few days just to do it all again. Only I’m not healing. Or regulating my temperature like I used to. I’m more tired every time.”
The concern on his face grew the longer I spoke.
“What are you saying?”
“When I woke up on the floor with Zayn hovering over me, he said, ‘I thought you burned yourself out.’ And he’s not the first one to say something like that.”
I sat beside Oanen and took his hand in mine, already knowing how angry he was going to be.
“Stop saying his name,” Oanen said. “I’m trying not to think about how he took you from right under my nose. I want to kill him for that.”
“He didn’t do anything bad.”
“How can you say that? You said he put you to sleep.”
“So has Adira.”
“Exactly. I think it’s safe to say you hate her.”
“Different reasons. Adira is a pain in my ass and doesn’t share information. It’s hard to hate a guy who gives up his coat and doesn’t cop a peek. At least, I don’t think he did.”
Oanen’s expression hardened.
“You’re not helping,” he said.
“And you’re keeping us off topic.”
“Right. Just stop saying his name, and we’ll be fine.”
“As I was saying, the hooded-guy—”
“That’s not any better.”
“—isn’t the only one to say I’ll burn myself out. I didn’t tell you everything my mom said that day in the diner.”
Oanen waited for me to continue.
“Her exact words were, ‘You can’t deliver the wicked to hell without your wings because without your wings, you’re not a fury, and your power will consume you.’”
His fingers twitched around mine.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew what you’d want me to do. And I can’t, Oanen. If I kill my great-grandma just to claim my power, won’t I become one of the wicked I’m here to punish? I can’t kill her just so I can live. There has to be another way.”
He said nothing, just looked down at our joined hands, his thumb slowly stroking the skin on the back of mine.
“What do you want to do?” he asked finally.
“I don’t know. I didn’t tell you all of this sooner because I thought I’d come up with something better than just going to St. Louis to talk to my grandma and seeing if she has any answers.”
“Why isn’t that an option?”
“It is an option. I’m just worried that when we get there, she won’t have answers or won’t give them. Then, you’ll want me to do what my mom wants just to keep me from getting hurt more than I already am.”
He nodded slowly, and when he looked up at me, his eyes were blue again.
“You’re right. That’s what I’d want because I’m selfish and desperate to keep you with me. But, if the last twenty-four hours has taught us anything, it’s that I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do. Or stop you from doing something that’s in your nature to do. I don’t want to change you, Megan. I want to love you just as you are.”
I leaned over and set my head against his shoulder.
“Ditto, bird boy. I’m sorry I came down so hard on you for being jealous. If the roles were reversed, I probably would have acted the same.”
“The difference is that I love it when you get jealous over me.”
I grinned and nudged him.
“You’re insane to provoke my fury like that. I don’t think she’ll share well once we’re officially…”
“Mated?”
My face flushed.
“Yeah. That.”
His phone rang, saving me from any further embarrassment.
“Hello?” He listened quietly for a minute. “No. You’re going to need to send someone else for him. Megan needs to get to St. Louis. Her powers are killing her. And, I’ll blame you if that happens.”
He hung up and looked at me.
“Please tell me that wasn’t your mom,” I said.
