Oanen’s lips twitched, and he reached out to toy with the ends of my hair.
“No, that wasn’t my mom. It was Adira.”
“Oh, I bet being told ‘No’ made her real happy. Should we expect a portal?”
He shook his head.
“I doubt it. She won’t admit this, but she’s afraid of you. They all are.”
“Good.”
I rubbed my head and wished I could just take a nap.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“No. But I should eat.”
While Oanen went to order food for us, I dug out the Book of Fury to read again. Gaining the little bit of understanding I had didn’t help me grasp any more information from the book. However, the parts that talked about the power consuming me now made more sense.
Oanen finally brought me a burger and fries, which I nibbled on while reclined in bed. I must have dozed off because when I next woke, he was in bed with me, and we were both lying flat. As soon as I shifted to a more comfortable position, he opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Sorry. The spot on my back was hurting.”
“It’s okay. Just making sure you’re not going anywhere.”
“No. I think it’ll be a day or two before I feel any wickedness again.” I moved a little closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder.
He stroked my back, careful to avoid the raw patch.
“Good, but I still don’t think I’ll sleep very deeply tonight. Just in case.”
I didn’t have the same problem. I slept hard and woke grudgingly just before dawn when my bladder refused to be ignored any longer.
“Going to the bathroom,” I whispered softly as I eased away from Oanen.
He made a sound of affirmation and rolled to his side, his breathing still soft and even. I wondered how long he’d stayed awake to keep an eye on me. It must have been a while because he was still in the same position when I returned.
Easing into bed so as not to disturb him, I settled next to him. His warmth soothed me, and I exhaled contentedly. However, I’d slept so much that I couldn’t fall back to sleep. So I lay there thinking.
Why was it so easy for me to know what everyone else wanted me to do and so hard for me to know what I wanted? I knew exactly what I did not want to do. But what did I want?
I decided what I really wanted was to go about my life my own way and not the way the gods wanted me to go. That didn’t mean I was unwilling to have a task or job. To be useful in some way. When I really thought about it, I liked the idea of being part of something bigger than myself. I just didn’t want to feel cornered or manipulated into doing something I didn’t want to do.
I mean, why make some of us crave flesh and then condemn us to hell for answering the craving? Was everything just a test to see how we exercised our free will? What about those impulses some of us couldn’t control? I couldn’t fight the way rage consumed me whenever anyone wicked was around. What was the point of my existence, then? Was I truly only here to hurt others?
My thoughts went round and round until the sun rose, and Oanen jerked awake. I smiled when he rolled over, searching for me.
“Morning,” I said.
He exhaled when he saw I was where he’d left me, and I smiled wider.
“Worried you’d lost something, again?”
“You have no idea. How long have you been awake?”
I shrugged and tilted my head to look at the clock.
“Almost two hours, I think.”
He gently tucked me close to him again, and his lips brushed over the column of my throat. My eyes rolled back in my head at the sensation.
“Mmm.” I couldn’t help the sound. Every time he touched me, it just got better.
He groaned and pressed another kiss to my skin before getting out of bed.
“Don’t make sounds like that, Megan. I don’t have the restraint.”
I watched him walk to the bathroom, glad he couldn’t see my stupid grin. I liked that I was his weakness.
While he showered, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal. He reemerged with shorts riding low on his waist and tousled wet hair before I finished my breakfast. In that glance, I knew he was my weakness, too.
“So what time do you want to leave?” I asked.
“I don’t know yet. It’s up to you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. I didn’t miss the way his gaze skimmed my exposed legs as I sat there in his shirt.
“You’re the one who has to face your great-grandmother, and you’re right that she might have a better answer than what your mom already gave you. I’m not going to push you to leave until you’re ready.”
“But what about when I start feeling things again?”
“This place is warded. Unlike the druid’s house, the warding here will keep out sound and emotion. You’re safe here for as long as you need.”
“And as soon as I step outside, the collective wickedness of this city will bring me to my knees. It’s better if we leave before I get my powers back. We don’t have to go to St. Louis. We can go anywhere. Somewhere quiet.” I realized the flaw in my thinking as soon as I said it. If I waited to go to St. Louis, I’d run into the same problem I was trying to avoid when leaving New York.
“Crap,” I said under my breath.
“Why don’t you try your mom again?” he suggested.
I snorted. “What for?”
“You know more now. You understand what she’s talking about. Maybe this time you’ll be able to get through to her about why you don’t want to kill your great-grandma.”
I sighed heavily. “Normal humans would never have this conversation. No one kills grandmas.”
“I don’t know. The humans made a Christmas song about it.”
“That doesn’t count. It was Santa.”
I froze and looked at Oanen in wide-eyed shock.
“Is Santa real?”
Oanen threw his head back and laughed. The sound did things to my middle and made me wish I wasn’t hurt.
He turned away, still chuckling.
“I’ll get your phone,” he said.
I finished eating and put my bowl in the sink before he returned. This time, he also had a pair of shorts for me to put on.
Smiling, I accepted the phone and set the shorts aside. I sat down again and crossed my legs to expose one thigh up to my hip. Gold started to appear in his gaze.
Letting that distract me, I dialed my mom’s number.
“This better not be another call from New York,” Mom answered.
“We need to meet and talk in person again.”
“Why? Everything you need to know is in the book.”
“Obviously it’s not, or I wouldn’t have four very large burns on my body. Two of them I blame on you.”
“The note said to get your ass to St. Louis to kill your Grandma Irene. I gave a name and address. That’s everything you needed, Megan. Now get your ass into your lover boy’s car and get to your grandma.”
Frustration clawed at me because I knew that even if my mom would shut up and listen for two seconds, she still wouldn’t give a damn about how I felt about all of this.
“How does a mom just stop loving her only child? I hope I never have kids.”
Without waiting for her reply, I hung up.
Oanen caught the phone when I threw it.
“Don’t let your mom’s poor parenting skills close the door on having your own kids,” he said softly.
I cringed, realizing what I’d said.
The phone in his hand started ringing, and he looked down at it.
“It’s your mom.”
I shook my head. “No. It’s Paxton. And I don’t need to talk to her.”
Instead of setting the phone down, he answered and put the call on speakerphone.
“Megan’s listening,” he said.
“I never stopped loving you, Megan,” my mom said in a much calmer tone. “I’m telling you to get to your grandma to save you. You set your power free, but without wings, you can’t use it. It’ll burn you up. You need to get to your grandma.”
“No. I’m not going to kill her just to save myself. It doesn’t make sense. We punish the wicked. How is killing her not going to be wicked?”
“It will be. But it doesn’t matter. That’s how we’re made. You have to kill her, Megan.”
“Never.”
The call went dead. I made a face and looked up at Oanen.
“I hate to say this, but I told you so. She’s useless.” I thrummed my fingers on the counter, trying to think of what I wanted to do next.
“The smartest move would be to get out of New York now,” I said, mostly to myself. Then inspiration struck.
“My mom isn’t the only one who knows things.” I glanced at Oanen. “The guy who shall not be named also knows stuff. Maybe he knows something—”
“Stop right there. We are not tracking him down so you can ask him for advice. You seem to be forgetting that he stole you.”
“He borrowed me to clear his name. And, he returned me unharmed.”
“He didn’t return you. He left you broken and burned in a pool of your own vomit.”
“That pool wasn’t there when he left.”
“I don’t care.”
I huffed an aggravated sigh.
“Between your jealousy and my fear of killing my grandma, which one wins?” I asked.
Oanen’s expression cracked.
“Fine. We’ll check out his house tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? What’s wrong with today?”
“I barely survived yesterday,” Oanen said. “Give me some time to recover. I just want to keep you here where it’s safe. Twenty-four hours of just us. That’s all I’m asking.”
“Okay, but you better be ready to entertain me. I don’t do bored.”
Gold crept back into his gaze.
“I’m sure I can think of something fun to do.”
I woke with a stretch and a smile. True to his word, Oanen had kept me very entertained the day before. Coed showering was now my new favorite sport. He’d been careful not to touch anything that would hurt, which meant we hadn’t done a whole heck of a lot. But what we had managed had been amazing.
When we ran out of warm water, there had been movies to entertain us. And lots of couch snuggling. I was glad he’d asked for twenty-four hours. We’d needed it.
I looked at the clock, saw it wasn’t yet 6 a.m., and rolled over with a smile, ready to tell him he still had two hours left. My smile faded when I saw his spot was empty. I stretched out a hand and felt the sheets were already cold.
Getting out of bed, I went in search of him. However, the condo was empty except for me and a box of cereal that had been set out on the counter along with my phone. I picked up my phone and saw a message from Oanen and another from Eliana. I read Oanen’s first.
I brought the phone out here so it wouldn’t wake you. Went to find Zayn. I’ll call when I have him, so you can talk to him on the phone. Stay in the condo.
I smiled slightly and debated whether or not to call him out on forgetting our whole sticking together promise. I decided it wasn’t worth it. I knew his reasons for leaving me behind. The condo was the safest place for me because of the spell to keep stuff out. Staying here also kept me a healthy distance away from the guy who stole me. This time, my grin widened at Oanen’s jealousy. I’d never admit it, but it was cute when it made him protective. Just not when he got overbearing with it.
I opened the other message from Eliana.
My mom is free but not leaving.
Swearing softly, I dialed Eliana’s number. She picked up right away, despite the time. But, that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was anymore.
“What do you mean she’s not leaving?” I asked. “Does she have a choice?”
“Apparently she does now,” Eliana said.
“What does that mean?”
“Adira thinks she is seeing a positive change in me with my mom being present. She also thinks I look healthier. I don’t look healthier; I look angrier. The Council obviously can’t tell the difference. I think they’re confusing me with you.”
I laughed softly.
“Give them hell, then,” I said.
“Oh, I plan to.”
“So, other than your mom staying, how are things back home?”
“Not too bad. I found some brownies who were willing to take Piepen in. He was a little upset by it, but I think he’s adjusting well. I’m planning on visiting him later today. And, Elbner is making great progress on your house. For being such a grumpy, unkempt thing, he sure has that place looking nice. He’s even started scraping the loose paint off the outside.
“Wow. I’m impressed,” I said. “He knows that it’s winter, though, right?”
“It doesn’t seem to bother him.”
“Other than that, anything new?” I was dying to blatantly ask about Fenris but didn’t want to tip my hand if she wasn’t aware yet.
“Nothing worth talking about,” she said quickly.
I smiled into the phone. If she wasn’t ready to admit it, that was fine.
“How about you?” she asked. “Is it true that a druid was involved in the deaths?”
“Yes. That would be Zayn. He’s not wicked, though. That much I could sense.”
“Be careful around him, Megan. It’s not safe to trust druids.”
“It’s not safe to trust most of us,” I said.
“Isn’t that the truth.”
After we hung up, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and turned on the TV. I managed to waste an hour that way then went to take a shower. Getting clean just wasn’t the same without Oanen’s help. When I was done, I went back to the phone and checked for new messages. Nothing.
Deciding to be the needy girlfriend, I started a message to Oanen.
“Did you get lost with a GPS? Come and get me. We’ll look for Zayn together.”
I set the phone down and went back to try to find something on TV. Every few minutes, I would glance at my phone. It never buzzed, though.
Close to noon, I finally got a text. Only it wasn’t from Oanen; it was from my mom.
Meet me at the Gizzard in 20.
I groaned. Oanen had the car. That meant walking the streets of New York. Although it wasn’t that far, if I felt anything, I’d be screwed. However, now that Mom was finally willing to meet me, I didn’t want to text back asking to reschedule.
After writing a quick note and putting it on the counter, I slipped my coat and boots on and left the condo. Thankfully, when I stepped out on the street, I didn’t feel a thing. I was still blissfully numb from the last burn.
Keeping my hands in my pocket and my steps quick, I made it to the Gizzard in the allotted time. A tingle of magic rippled over my skin as I open the door to a quiet and empty interior. I frowned and checked my phone. It was exactly twenty minutes since Mom’s message. I looked around, again, wondering where the hell she was.
The door that led to the back hall opened, and Mom stepped out. She looked me over and crossed her arms.
“Good. You’re here. Now, you’re going to listen.”
“Me? I should have known you weren’t ready to actually help.”
I turned to leave.
“Oanen’s been gone a long time, hasn’t he?” she asked, stopping me cold. “When was the last time you heard from him?”
I turned slowly, a sinking ball of fear and fury forming in my stomach.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing a loving mother wouldn’t do.” She tossed me a phone, which I caught by reflex. “I gave you motivation, Megan.”
I looked at the phone’s screen and saw Oanen’s red face glaring back at me.
“What did you do?” I repeated, my voice deadly calm.
Through the haze of my anger, I noted four small ovals on his jawline that looked redder than the rest.
“Did you burn him?”
“It was an unintentional side effect of taking him to your great-grandma’s. Having the two of us that close together resulted in—”
I flew at my mother with a strangled cry, blind to reason or caution. With the back of her hand, she sent me flying across the room.
“Calm down. The picture is proof that he’s alive and well enough.”
I rolled to my feet and plucked a splinter of wood the size of a pencil from my bicep. It snagged on my jacket on the way out, but I barely noticed that or the blood that immediately started to trickle down my arm.
Focused on my mom, I stalked forward. Unlike the last time, I didn’t rush her.
“Fighting me will resolve nothing,” she said, watching me.
“No, but making you bleed will make me feel a hell of a lot better.”
Mom’s eyes flared bright orange as I drew closer.
“Megan Smith,” she said in her fury voice.
I embraced my fury, or what was left of her, and moved fast enough to punch my mom square in the face. Her head barely moved.
“Paxton Smith,” I said in my own fury voice. “Go screw yourself.”
Her eyes grew brighter, and the heat of her anger started to melt the shell of my jacket. The wood floor beneath our feet crackled and blackened.
Scary fast, she reached out and gripped me by my throat.
“I will not lose you to your own stupidity. Get your ass to St. Louis, now, and save your boyfriend.”
She pushed me hard, and I went flying backward again. Barely a second after I landed, I was back up on my feet, glaring in her direction. Smoke drifted in the air between us, a murky blue haze that would have made it hard to see if fire wasn’t slowly consuming my mom.
As I watched, wings sprouted from her back, vibrant twin infernos that folded forward to wrap around her torso in a bold display of yellow and orange. I knew what I was seeing. Her true form. My future true form, clothed in the fires of hell.
Zayn’s comment about us being like daughters to Hades seemed more likely, looking at Mom just then.
The fire wings covering her grew impossibly bright then winked out of existence, taking her with them.
I coughed out some smoke and looked down at the phone still in my hand. The screen had cracked during one of my falls. The fissure didn’t stop me from seeing Oanen’s beautiful, angry face. Or his burns. Rage poked at me again as I noticed how his shoulders seemed stretched back. The image didn’t show why, but I knew she’d bound his arms behind him.
First, Mom took him then tied him to a tree. Now, she wanted me to go save him. Or what? I considered the implied consequence. My family was insane. Insane enough to kill the man who held my heart? Absolutely.
The floor beneath my feet started to smolder.
“Save my boyfriend?” I said softly. “They have no idea what they’ve unleashed.”
