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Heartsong: Chapter 14

high school girls/see you again

He came back the next morning.

I ignored him.

He was fine with it. He had his blanket. And a book. He sat against the wall near the door, opened it, and began to read.

I lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

It was a game.

I would win.

I lasted an hour.

“What day is it?”

He marked his place in his book before closing it and looking up at me. “Wednesday.”

“The date.”

“May twentieth.”

The bridge incident was after the full moon. It’d been over a week. Everyone in Caswell had to know I was gone. I wondered if they were looking for me. They had to know where I was.

I said, “Don’t you have a job or something?”

“I do.” That was it. That was all he said. He was waiting to see if I would ask more.

I wasn’t going to fall for it.

It took two minutes before I couldn’t stand it any longer. “What?”

He arched an eyebrow at me.

I hated him. “What do you do?” Then, as if I couldn’t help myself, “What did I do?”

“You worked at the garage with Gordo and Ox. Chris and Tanner and Rico.”

I was dubious. It made sense, seeing as how much I’d been on the wall, but I couldn’t believe it. “Me.”

“Yeah.”

“But I don’t know anything about cars.”

He smiled. It was quiet and soft, and I forced myself to look away. “Yeah, no. You absolutely don’t. You once caused an engine to catch on fire.”

I scowled at him. “There’s a lot of parts inside—”

“You were supposed to be rotating the tires.”

Well, fuck. “Oh.”

“It was impressive. Rico and Chris put it out before it caused too much damage, but Gordo decided then and there you could never touch a car again. He put you at the front desk answering phones and handling customers. It worked for you. People… they liked you.” I looked up when his voice took an odd tone. “Some of them really liked you. High school girls especially. This one guy kept bringing in his daughter’s car. She swore there was a rattling sound every time she drove it.”

“There was nothing wrong with the car.”

“No. She just liked to put her underage boobs on the counter for you to look at.”

I was scandalized. “I would never—”

He laughed. “I know, but she didn’t. She tried, though. Got to give her some credit.”

“I… liked it? Working there,” I added quickly. “Not the underage… whatever.” I looked down at my hands.

“You did. You made it your own. You updated all the computers, added new programs. Gordo bitched and moaned, but he always does. You could tell….” He cleared his throat. “You could tell he liked having you there. The others did too. One of the guys, I guess.”

“They haven’t been down here,” I said, keeping my voice even.

He said nothing.

I looked back up at him.

He was picking and choosing his words carefully. “They’re giving you space. They don’t want you to be overwhelmed any more than you already are.”

I nodded. That wasn’t all of it. There was something else, something bigger. I was too scared to ask what it was. Knowing meant facing something I wasn’t ready for.

I don’t know what he saw on my face, but he said, “Maybe we can ask them. You know. To stop by. When they have a moment.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Okay.”

“But that didn’t answer my question.”

“Which one?”

My hands tightened in my lap. “What you do. How you can be here in the middle of the day.”

“I work for the town. So does Carter.”

That wasn’t surprising. “Doing…?”

“He’s the mayor of Green Creek.”

My head shot up so hard, my neck cracked. “He’s what?”

He was struggling not to laugh. “Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too. You saw how the humans in town didn’t seem too fazed by werewolves?”

My head spun. “That’s another thing that doesn’t make sense. How the hell did they find out?”

He sobered a little. “When Michelle sent the hunters to Green Creek, they went after the whole town. Cut us all off in the middle of a snowstorm. It was unavoidable that the people would find out about us. About the pack. You can’t go to war in the streets without repercussions. The storm was bad and a lot of people had already evacuated, but many stayed. And they were caught right in the middle. Rico’s girlfriend—the woman in the truck who saw you when you were running crazed through town—”

“I wasn’t crazed, what the hell—”

“Sure you weren’t,” he said. “She owns a bar in town. Called the Lighthouse. Bambi gathered everyone who remained—”

“Bambi,” I repeated.

He nodded. “Bambi.”

“The fuck.”

He was solemn when he said, “You don’t want to underestimate her. She will kick your ass. She almost shot Mark in the head after he backhanded Mom accidentally on purpose.”

I swallowed my tongue.

He waved it away. “The Omega in him was eating him whole. He’s better now.”

“That’s good,” I said faintly.

“Anyway, Carter was in the bar and shifted in front of all of them because the timber wolf was trying to kill Mark and Gordo—”

“What is wrong with this town?” I whispered fervently.

“—and all the humans saw everything. And then a few days later, the main hunter—a woman named Elijah—tried to blow up the bar with everyone inside. But she failed and only ended up killing herself. And everyone pretty much saw all of it. So that’s how they found out about werewolves.”

He said it like it was nothing, like he wasn’t upending the entire world. “And they just accepted it.”

He sounded amused when he said, “Mostly. There were a few outliers. People who couldn’t handle it. People who were afraid.”

I hesitated. Then, “Did you kill them?”

“Uh, no?” He was baffled. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “How else would you stop them from telling everyone?”

He snorted. “So you automatically went with murder. Good job.”

“Hey!”

“The few who couldn’t deal, they….” His brow furrowed. “Well. Gordo altered their memories. Took it all away.”

“Like father, like son.” I meant it as a halfhearted joke, but the words were bitter, and it fell flat.

His gaze sharpened. His voice was hard. “No. Not like that at all. Gordo isn’t his father. He did what he did to protect us. And to protect the humans. He did it so no one would get hurt. As for the ones who remember, they’re not pack. Think of them as pack-adjacent. We don’t have bonds with them, but we do have an understanding. We protect them. This place. Green Creek is….”

“Different.”

He nodded. “It is. Our family has been here for a long time. Generations. The land here, it isn’t like it is anywhere else. There’s a power to it. It sings. I think it was always meant for wolves.”

“And all of this somehow led to Carter becoming the mayor.”

“Weird, right? I don’t even really know how it started. I think someone said something to him, and the next thing I knew, elections were being held and he was running unopposed. The previous mayor decided it was better if there was someone younger running the town. And since we already own most of Green Creek, it was easier if it was one of us. Keeps things simple.”

Jesus Christ. Michelle had to have known about all of this. And she kept it from me. “And you work for him?”

He blushed a little like he was embarrassed. “I’m a deputy.”

“What.”

He rolled his eyes. “We had a couple of deputies here, but one of them died because of the hunters. We didn’t want something like that to happen again, so it just made sense that we had someone who knew what they were doing.”

“What,” I said again.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Get it all out. I’ve heard it all. Rico kept asking me if I was going to pitch my own TV show. Called it Werewolf Cop. Said we’d make a fortune in merchandising and syndication.” He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “Not a bad idea if you think about it.”

“This is stupid,” I said. “All of this is stupid.”

He sighed. “And yet, it’s the way things are. You….” He trailed off, looking distant.

I didn’t want to know. “I what?”

He ran his fingers over the pages of his book. I could just make out the cover, a snarling dog underneath the word Cujo. “You were excited about it,” he finally said. “When I told you. I wasn’t sure it was for me, but you said I would do a good job. That people would rest easier knowing I was out there.” He took a deep breath. “Because you felt the same way. Knowing I was there.”

I couldn’t find a single word to say. It was all too much. This life. We were talking about me, but it might as well have been someone else entirely.

He shrugged awkwardly. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything. It’s just the way it is. Or was.”

I nodded as I swallowed, throat clicking.

He smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe we should—”

I stood. “They’re coming down.”

“Who?” He fumbled with the book, dropping it to the floor as he stood.

“Alphas,” I growled.

Ox came through the door first. He wore a uniform I recognized. His name was embroidered on a patch on his considerable chest. His fingers were stained with oil, and he had a rag hanging out of his back pocket.

Joe followed behind him.

Without thinking, I stepped forward quickly, wanting to get to Kelly, to drag him behind me, to shield him away.

Clarity came when I smashed into the line of silver. I hissed as my skin singed, backing away.

Joe looked curious, glancing between Kelly and me.

Ox’s expression was blank.

“Kelly,” Joe said. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kelly said, sounding exasperated. “I’m getting really sick and tired of that question.”

“As your Alpha, I—”

“I’m older than you,” Kelly retorted. “I changed your diaper when you shit yourself. You may be my Alpha, but I’ve wiped your ass, Joe.”

Joe grinned at him. He reached over, wrapped his arm around Kelly, pulled him close, kissed the side of his head.

Someone snarled angrily.

It took me a moment to realize it was me.

I stopped, mortified.

“Huh,” Joe said, a glint in his eyes I didn’t like. “I wonder what that’s about.”

Kelly shoved him off. “Not now.”

“As your Alpha—”

“Asshole.”

Ox said, “Hello, Robbie.”

Two words. That’s all it was. Two simple words said in greeting.

And it made me tremble. There was such power emanating from him, and it was overwhelming, but it was so serene and calm. I’d never met another Alpha like him. I wanted to bare my throat to him, even as I warred with myself, the baser part of me gnashing its teeth because I already had an Alpha.

Or maybe I didn’t.

I was so far from home.

He nodded as if he understood. As if he could read all my thoughts and everything I felt. For all I knew, he could. I’d seen the red and violet mixing in his eyes. He was different. He was more.

I was in awe of him.

I was terrified of him.

My fear extended to all of them, this pack, but him especially. Him and Kelly. For entirely different reasons.

My throat closed.

He said, “Would you like a shower?” His nose wrinkled slightly. “I think you could use one.”

That sounded wonderful. But there had to be a catch. “Yes.” Then, “Please.”

He hummed under his breath. “In a moment, Kelly is going to break the line of silver. Will you attack him?”

I shook my head.

“Will you attack us?”

“No.”

“Do you believe I can stop you if you try?”

“Yeah. Yes.”

And then he said, “I’m trusting you, Robbie,” and I wanted to howl at the moon.

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” I was panting.

He nodded again. “Good. You won’t be alone. Consider it a safety measure. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before, so I don’t think you’ll need to be worried about it.”

Nudity to wolves was natural. Still, it felt like showing part of myself I wasn’t ready for. “You?”

He tilted his head. “Would you prefer someone else?”

I glanced at Kelly but didn’t reply.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “That’s fair.”

“Ox,” Joe said, a warning in his voice.

“I won’t hurt him,” I snapped. “He’s….” I didn’t know what he was.

Joe threw up his hands. “Fine. But we’ll be right outside the door.”

“Carter said you don’t have boundaries here.”

Joe gaped at me before recovering. “Uh. Yeah. I guess. I’ve seen Carter’s dick more times than I care to think about.” He frowned. “I really regret saying that out loud.”

“And yet there it is,” Ox said dryly. “Thanks, Joe.”

Joe grinned at him adoringly. It took my breath away. They were close. It wasn’t like it was in Caswell. At least it wasn’t for me. Sure, I’d had Ezra, and he’d—

I hung my head.

“Kelly,” Ox said.

Kelly stepped forward, a determined look on his face. He hesitated as if he thought the silver was still going to hurt him.

It didn’t.

He pushed a foot through the powdered silver, and the line broke.

The sounds became louder, the smells stronger.

I sucked in a deep breath as my ears twitched.

I could run. I’d done it once.

Maybe I wouldn’t make it very far. Probably not even out of the house. But I could try.

I was tired of running.

Kelly stepped back, squaring his shoulders like he expected me to burst forward.

Instead, I walked slowly across the line.

He looked relieved. I thought he was about to reach out, like he was going to take my hand, but he didn’t.

Ox did. Ox touched me.

He put a hand around the back of my neck.

He pressed his forehead against mine.

His eyes seemed endless.

I could do nothing but watch him.

I breathed him in.

My hands shook.

My knees were weak.

He whispered, “Hello, Robbie. I’m so very pleased to see you again.”

I was in a daze as they led me up the stairs. Ox was in front, then Kelly. I was behind him, with Joe bringing up the rear.

The window at the top of the stairs had been replaced. You couldn’t tell I’d broken it only a couple of days before.

Aside from us, the house was mostly empty. Music was playing in the kitchen. Dinah Shore. Elizabeth Bennett was sashaying away, her dress flaring out around her legs as she sang that she didn’t mind being lonely because she knew in her heart I was lonely too. She smiled at me, the sun like a spotlight through an open window over the sink.

“I like this song,” she said. “Don’t you?”

I could only nod.

Joe shook his head and went to her. She laughed in delight as he bowed before her, one hand behind his back. She took his other hand in hers, pulling him close. We left them dancing in the kitchen as if all was right in the world.

Ox headed for another set of stairs.

There was a beautiful painting hung halfway up, a violent slash of color on a white canvas. I didn’t understand it. I wanted to touch it.

“She painted it,” Kelly said from behind me. “Mom. She’s good. I don’t always understand it, but I don’t think that’s as important as how it makes me feel.”

I nodded but didn’t speak.

We reached the second floor. All the doors were open save one. I sucked in air greedily, taking in the scents of packpackpack. Ox and Kelly didn’t mention it. The only closed door reeked of Kelly, and I didn’t want to ask. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready.

The bathroom in the hall was bright and airy. Fresh flowers sat on the windowsill. The white claw-foot tub was spotless. There was a towel folded on a small bench next to it.

“I’ll be outside,” Ox said, nodding toward the bathroom, “when you’re finished. You and I are going to talk.”

Ah. The catch.

“Okay,” I said meekly.

He stepped out of the doorway and leaned against the wall.

I stepped inside.

Kelly followed, closing the door behind us. It latched firmly. There was no lock. It would have been pointless.

I didn’t look at him when I asked, “Is one of those rooms mine?”

Or ours.

“It was,” he said from behind me, voice even. “But after… everything, we moved.”

“To where?”

He chuckled. “Not very far. The blue house. It used to be Ox’s. He lived there with his mother.”

“Oh.”

“We shared it with some Omegas who stayed here.”

My eyebrows felt like they were trying to crawl up into my hair. “We what?”

He pushed by me, rubbing his bandaged arm. He nudged the towel to the side before sitting on the bench next to the tub, hands flexing on his knees. He looked up at me. “For a while they had nowhere else to go. Many stayed with us until we could place them in packs throughout North America. A couple even went to packs in Mexico. We ate a lot of food that trip.”

“We.”

He shrugged. “You and me and Carter. We drove. It was nice. Rico taught me enough Spanish to get by.”

“He doesn’t like me very much.”

Kelly hesitated. “You…. Give him time. He’ll come around. It’s been a lot. For all of us.”

I stayed near the door, suddenly uncomfortable. “Brodie.”

“Yeah. He was one of them. Alpha Wells is a good wolf. They’ll take care of him.”

“Who brought him?”

He looked away. “Gordo. And Mark.”

“When?”

His hands tightened on his knees. “A few months ago.”

We were both thinking it. Ox probably was too.

Gordo and Mark had crossed the country to bring an Omega child to be placed in a wolf pack that was less than a day’s drive away from where I’d been. And they’d known it. They’d known I was in Maine. Carter had said as much.

They hadn’t come for me.

They hadn’t even tried.

My hands went to the plain white shirt I was wearing. Elizabeth had given it to me, along with a few others. They were new, she’d said. They kept them for anyone passing through who needed them. They smelled faintly of pack, but not like it would have been had they shared their own clothes with me.

I started to pull it up.

I stopped.

He arched an eyebrow at me, like a challenge. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

My face grew hot. “Right,” I muttered. “Just… no ideas, okay?”

He laughed, but I didn’t think it was at me. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that. Not really.”

I was almost insulted. I was proud of my body. I was strong. I was young. I was capable of providing for my—

Fuck.

He wiped his eyes. “No, oh god, get that wounded look off your face. Christ.” He took a deep breath. “I’m ace.”

I frowned. “What’s that?”

“Asexual.”

“Oh. Oh.” I scrunched up my face. “Like… really?”

Now he was laughing at me. “Like, really.”

“How did that work?” I blanched. “Holy shit, ignore me. Seriously, don’t think you need to explain—”

“If that’s what you want,” he said, and that was it.

I scowled at him.

He smiled at me.

I lasted a few more seconds. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” he said simply.

“But.” I waved my hand in the direction of my neck and the scar on it that extended near my shoulder. “And. Like. You know.”

He laughed again. I thought I even heard Ox snorting outside the door. “We made it work. It’s not that I’m repulsed by sex or anything. It’s just not everything to me. There’s more to us than physical intimacy. Or there was.”

“Oh.” I bit the inside of my cheek, but the words came out in a rush. “And I was okay with that?”

“You were,” he said, and his voice took on a wistful tone that made me feel like I was intruding. “We made it work because we… well.”

Blue.

The room filled with blue.

It was smothering.

I wanted to go to him. It was like a pull. Toward what, I didn’t know.

Instead I pulled off my shirt and let it fall to the floor.

“You can stop flexing,” he said, the blue fading slightly.

“I’m not.”

“Really,” he said. “So your pecs usually bounce up and down like that normally? That’s something you should probably get checked out.” He looked me up and down, but there was no stink of arousal coming from him. Instead, it was warm, like a heavy blanket on a winter day. “You’re bigger than you were. Harder.”

“I’m… sorry?” I wasn’t sorry at all.

He shook his head. “It looks good on you.” He reached over, pulled the shower curtain back. He turned the faucet. Water began to pour into the tub. “Best get to it. You need it. Even I can smell you, and my nose is weak as hell.”

I took a deep breath and reached down, slid my sleep shorts to the floor, and stepped out of them. And I absolutely did not strut toward the tub, even if he had to cover up his laughter with the back of his hand.

I stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain closed. I twisted the lever near the tap, and the showerhead poured water down on me.

I groaned in relief.

“None of that,” Ox muttered through the door. “You’ll have time later.”

I almost fell down.

Kelly stuck his head through the curtain. “All right?”

Of course he couldn’t hear what Ox said—he was human. “I’m fine,” I snapped at him, pushing his head out and closing the curtain again. “Your Alpha is making insinuations.”

“Knock it off, Ox!”

“No!” Ox called back.

“Fucking werewolves,” Kelly muttered before sitting back on the bench. It creaked under his weight, and I just stood under the water. I didn’t remember anything ever feeling so good.

“Ace, huh?”

“Ace,” he agreed.

“That’s… okay.”

“Glad you think so.”

And something settled in my chest that I didn’t even know was askew.

It felt dangerous.


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