The end of this life hidden behind a barrier of magic began on a Tuesday in the middle of June.
This is what we saw:
I sat at the front desk at Gordo’s, frowning at the appointment calendar. Chris had taken a few calls while I was at lunch, and he’d screwed something up. He’d apologized, patting me on the shoulder telling me he just knew I could fix it.
I scowled after him as he walked back into the garage, whistling as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
My bad mood didn’t last. Kelly brought me lunch again, and we sat out on the sidewalk in front of the garage, eating and talking about nothing in particular. We hadn’t forgotten everything that was looming around us, but we acted like we had. If I tried hard enough, I could almost convince myself that everything was fine.
The sun was out.
The air was warm.
There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. If I looked hard enough, I could see the faint sliver of the moon suspended above us. We sat close, his shoulder pressed against mine.
He said, “I don’t want you to sleep in the basement anymore. You don’t need to. You have a room, Robbie. You need to use it.”
“I know. Ox said the same thing yesterday.”
“You should probably listen to him. He usually knows what he’s talking about.”
“Usually?”
Kelly rolled his eyes. “He’s an Alpha. You know how they are.”
“I can hear you!” Ox shouted from somewhere inside the garage.
“Good!” Kelly yelled back. “I wanted you to!”
And I smiled at him because I could. I felt settled in my skin, and things weren’t perfect, but we could pretend. We could pretend we were just two guys getting to know each other without worrying about everything that lay ahead.
It all came tumbling down an hour after Kelly left to head back out on patrol.
It started with Gordo.
He was saying, “Tanner, give Mrs. Warren a call. Tell her that we have to order the parts to—”
Something crashed inside the garage.
I was up before I even thought about it.
I burst through the door into the garage. Gordo was on his knees, his tablet lying on the ground, the screen cracked. He held his hand against his right ear, his stump against the other, and his face was twisted painfully. His tattoos were bright and moving, the roses underneath the raven twisting their barbed vines as the bird bowed its head.
Rico kneeled next to him, hand on his back, asking what was going on, what happened, are you okay, are you okay, Gordo?
Chris and Tanner’s eyes were orange. I saw the hint of fangs in Tanner’s mouth.
Ox stood near one of the open bay doors, eyes red and violet, hands clenched into fists as his chest rose and fell rapidly. He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth as he got himself back under control.
“What is it?” I demanded. “What happened?”
“The wards,” Gordo muttered. “Something hit the wards.” He groaned as he dropped his arms, nodding at Rico, who helped him to his feet. He moved until he stood next to Ox, staring out into the street.
“North end,” Ox said.
“Yeah,” Gordo said, stretching his neck side to side until it popped. “It hurts, Ox. Whatever it is, it hurts.”
“How many?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think we’re under attack.” He grimaced again. “But something’s not right.”
“Another Omega?”
Gordo hesitated before shaking his head. “No. It’s more. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“Do we need to sound the alarm?” Rico asked. “Warn the town?”
Ox looked to Gordo, who shook his head. “Not yet. We can let Dominique know just in case. She’ll be able to turn it on if needed. The people know what to do then. I don’t want to cause a panic.”
“Chris,” Ox said without turning around. “Tanner. Call the others. They’ll have felt it. Have them meet us near the motel. Tell them to hurry. We need to move. Now.”
“Don’t worry about calling Mark,” Gordo muttered as he rubbed his forehead. “He already knows. He felt it when it hit me. He’ll know where I am.”
“On it, boss,” Tanner said, already tapping on his phone before holding to his ear. He began to pace, gnawing on his thumbnail.
“Shit,” Chris said with a sigh, pulling out his own phone. “I hope it’s nothing that wants to kill us. I really hate it when that happens.”
Ox tried to tell me that I should stay behind, just in case.
It was Rico who shut him up, surprisingly, telling him that we couldn’t leave anyone behind, that if we were going to be pack, we needed to act like one. That meant all of us.
Ox stared at him for a moment.
Rico didn’t look away.
Ox nodded slowly. “You’re right. Thank you, Rico.” He glanced at me. “You up for this?”
I needed for him to believe in me. I said, “Yes, Alpha. I can do this.”
He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I know you can, Robbie.” He looked tired as he dropped his hand back down to his side. “Just… stay close. Either to me or Kelly. And if it looks as if this is a trap, I want you to run.”
I took a step back. “What? I’m not going to run—”
“They can use you against us,” Ox said, and my stomach twisted painfully. “And I can’t let that happen. Not again.”
I looked down at the ground. He had a point, but it hurt more than I expected it to. He was the Alpha. He had to think of the safety of his entire pack.
He put a finger under my chin, tilting my head back so I would look directly at him. He towered over me, and I bared my neck. His eyes flared as he trailed his finger along the line of my jaw and the skin of my throat. “I need to keep you safe,” he said. “I don’t know if we’d survive if we lost you again. I won’t let anyone take you, but if I tell you to run, you run. Do you hear me?” And underneath, hidden in the swirling storm amassing itself inside me, I heard his voice, faint but strong.
packpackpack
I nodded, helpless to do anything but.
Rico came back across the street from the diner. I could see people standing in the windows, staring out at us. Dominique was in the doorway, watching Rico’s back as he jogged back to the garage. “She’ll wait to hear from one of us,” Rico said. “And she’ll keep the others here too.” He shook his head. “They want to come out all guns blazing. Remember when it was this great big secret? Now everyone knows, and everyone wants to shoot something. Fucking humans, man. Now, where are my guns? I want to shoot something.”
Kelly pulled up outside the garage in his patrol car. The light bar across the top was dark, and there was no siren. It was easier to keep things quiet for as long as possible.
He opened the door and climbed out, nodding at me before looking to Ox.
“Robbie, you’re with Kelly,” Ox said. “Rico too. Tanner, with me. Gordo, you follow in your truck with Chris. The others?”
“On their way,” Chris said, putting his phone back in his pocket. “Jessie wants me to tell you that she’s on summer break and that she’s not pleased you’re making her leave the house. But no worries!” he added quickly as Ox turned to stare at him. “She’s just kidding. I think she wants to hit someone with a crowbar.” He frowned. “We’re really violent. I don’t know why I’m just realizing that now. Huh.” He shrugged. “Eh, what can you do? Let’s go fuck some shit up.”
“Fucking werewolves,” Ox muttered, but I could hear the pride in his voice.
“Bambi,” Rico said into his phone in the back seat, “I can’t talk long. I’m in the back of Kelly’s cop car and—what? No, I haven’t been arrested. I didn’t do anything! Would you just—oh. Right. Yeah, I guess that was illegal. But that was one time, and no one knows about it except for you and every person in the pack, which, now that I think about it, is a lot of people. I’m with Robbie and—oh man, you know I love it when you get all hard-core. Yes, baby, I’ve got my guns. If there’s shooting, I’ll make sure it counts just for you. Your man is gonna take care of shit—you are not a better shot than me! You just got lucky—you’re right. That was uncalled for. I’m sorry. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If I was a wolf, you would be my moon.”
“Does he know we can hear him?” I whispered to Kelly.
“Yeah,” Kelly said. “He just doesn’t care. He says it’s part of his charm, but that can’t be right.”
I bounced my leg, shifting in my seat. Ox and Tanner were in front of us, Gordo and Chris behind us. We quickly left the main thoroughfare of Green Creek behind, but not before I saw people in the shops watching us through the windows. Ox said they’d be ready if it came down to it, but that didn’t go very far toward making me feel better. They were all human, and I didn’t know if they could stand up against wolves or witches or whatever fresh hell was heading toward us.
It didn’t help that I was distracted thinking about what Ox had said. About the hold that was over me, how a few uttered words could strip everything away and make me turn against them. The very idea made me fear for all those around me. I would fight it as hard as I could, but I remembered being in Caswell, all those times Ezra had stood near me, whispering his poison in five simple words.
Would you hear me, dear?
I didn’t want that to happen again.
Kelly settled his hand on my bouncing knee, and I sighed.
“We’ll be fine,” he said.
He couldn’t know that, but I thought it was for him just as much as it was for me. It wasn’t a lie when I said, “I know.”
Kelly squeezed my knee. “We’re together. All of us.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, it’s not. But that won’t stop us.”
“You’re carrying a gun.”
He pulled his hand away. “Saw that, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Kelly’s hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Ox and Joe thought it was a good idea. I can’t fall back on being a wolf. I need a way to protect myself.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “Know how to use it?”
He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Rico taught me.”
“That… doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.”
“Oh, fuck you, lobito,” Rico said. “I’ll have you know that I’m amazing when it comes to shooting—yes, my love. I know. But being humble has never been in my nature. You can’t tame me, no matter how hard you try. I am a man, and I—Bambi, I swear to god, if you don’t stop laughing, I’m going to hang up on you.”
“If it comes down to it, stay behind me,” I said to Kelly.
His eyes narrowed. “I can take care of myself.”
“I know, but I—”
“I did the entire time you were gone. So don’t think you can tell me what to do. Not now. Not about this. Not when it comes to pack.”
“I think they’re about to fight,” Rico whispered into the phone. “I gotta go. Yes, I’ll call you back later. Jesus, woman, would you get off my—and she hung up on me. I deserved it.”
“It’s not about that,” I snapped, suddenly and unnecessarily angry. It was weirdly vicious, this need to impress upon him that he could break, that he could break so easily, and we wouldn’t be able to save him. If he got hurt, the bite wouldn’t work. Not with what Livingstone had done to him. “I’m just trying to keep you safe.”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel until his knuckles were bloodless. “I don’t need you to keep me safe, Robbie. Everyone helps everyone else. That’s how a pack works. Just because I’m human doesn’t mean I’m going to stand on the sidelines.”
“He’s got a point,” Rico said, and I turned in my seat to glare at him. He held up his hands to placate me. It didn’t work. “Take it from one of the dwindling members of Team Human. We can hold our own. And I’ve trained your boy. He knows what he’s doing. Give us some credit, huh? We may be human, but we’re still part of this pack. We’ve made it this far.”
That didn’t help as much as he seemed to think it did. “There’s more to life than just surviving.”
Kelly looked grim. “Not for us. Not now. Maybe one day, but right now, survival is all we know.”
The motel on the outskirts of Green Creek looked better than I expected. It’d had a recent coat of paint, and the doors had electronic locks. The sign sitting above the motel promised FREE WI-FI AND SOME BAGELS.
I recognized the man in the office as having been in the diner when I first escaped from the Bennett house. His eyes were wide as he walked toward the vehicles pulling up in the gravel lot.
“Is it happening again?” he asked as Ox climbed out of the truck. “Are we under attack? Let me go get my gun, and I’ll—”
“No, Will,” Ox said. “I want you to stay inside until we come back.”
The man—Will—frowned as he looked out at the rest of us. His gaze settled on me for a few seconds before he turned back to Ox. “You sure about that, Alpha? There’s strength in numbers. You said so yourself.”
I wondered what Ox had done to inspire such devotion, but I didn’t have to think too hard. I thought he’d done so by simply existing. This town held a great secret and kept it hidden away from the rest of the world, all while turning to the wolves and offering what amounted to their lives.
It only took me a moment to realize I was doing the same.
I watched as Ox settled his hands on Will’s shoulders. “I know. But we don’t know what’s happened. It might be nothing.”
“Or it might be more of those hunters,” Will said. “Or Omegas. Or some other manner of shape-shifters. Or vampires.”
“Christ,” Rico muttered. “I told you there’s no such thing as vampires. That’s ridiculous.”
Will rolled his eyes. “Says you. You belong to people who turn into wolves the size of horses, and you want to lecture me on what’s ridiculous?”
Rico opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Then, “I’ve never thought about it that way. Oh my god, what if there are vampires?” He yelped when Gordo smacked him upside the head. “Asshole.”
“Go back inside,” Ox told him. “Close the security gates. Don’t leave until you hear from one of us.”
Will nodded as he took a step back. “You call me if you need me. I may not be as young as I once was, but I know how to take care of things. I’ve got your back, Alpha. All of us do. Don’t forget that.”
He left Ox staring after him as he went back to the office. He locked the door behind him and then reached up to slide a metal grate over the door. He did the same to all the windows.
Kelly saw my nose twitching. “The motel rooms have the same safeguards. We made the changes after… well. Long story. Let’s just say Will knows firsthand what wolves can do. I’ll tell you about it later.”
Before I could respond, wolves came out of the tree line beyond the motel.
Mark was first, coming at a run, eyes violet, chest rising and falling rapidly. He skidded in front of Gordo, kicking up dust and gravel. He pressed his muzzle against Gordo’s chest, breathing him in.
Gordo put his hand between his ears. “We’re okay,” he said quietly.
Mark growled, lips pulling back.
Gordo sighed. “I hear you. I’ve got this. I’m in control.” He brought up the stump at the end of his arm. The tattoos were swirling, crawling over scar tissue. I felt his magic, enormous and untamed. It caused the air around him to stutter, but he took a deep breath, and the symbols carved into his skin stopped moving. “I’m good. You’re with me, so I’m good.”
Mark huffed a breath against him before stepping back.
Elizabeth came next, just as a little car pulled into the parking lot. Jessie jumped out, crowbar in hand. “What happened?” she demanded, looking at Ox. Elizabeth rubbed up against her, and Jessie settled a hand on her back. “It’s the wards, isn’t it? I felt that. God, I’ll never get used to it.”
Joe came, followed by Carter and the timber wolf. Joe’s eyes were red, and he stopped in front of Ox. Ox reached under his chin, grasping his jaw, and pressed his forehead against Joe’s.
Carter went to Kelly and sat at his side, head cocked, ears twitching. The timber wolf circled them both slowly, growling low in the back of his throat, his ears flattened against his head. Carter whuffed at him, and the timber wolf nipped at his shoulder.
I was thunderstruck. I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen it before or why no one had told me. “Holy shit, Carter, is the wolf your—”
A bright flash of pain rolled through me as Rico kicked me in the shin. “Your friend,” Rico cried. “Is that wolf your friend.” He glared at me as I rubbed my shin. “Isn’t that right, Robbie?”
Carter looked confused, glancing back and forth between the two of us.
“Later,” Rico muttered. “Focus, okay? We’ve got bigger things to worry about than Carter’s… friend.”
As Will closed the grate over the last window, Ox turned toward all of us. He let his eyes fill, and the power that emanated from him settled over me. It almost felt like it’d been with Ezra, dreamlike and peaceful, but I didn’t think Ox was the type to exert his will over others. Not unless he was forced to.
I had to believe that.
He said, “We stick together. Always within sight. Listen. Be ready for anything.” He glanced at me. “Robbie, with me. Kelly, behind him. Everyone else, you know what to do.”
“And here’s where my childhood friends take off their clothes in public,” Rico said with a sigh just as Chris and Tanner began stripping.
“Don’t be jealous of my rocking werewolf bod,” Chris said.
“I hope it’s not bad wolves,” Tanner muttered. “I still have PTWD.” He winced and looked at me apologetically. “No offense, Robbie.”
“Post-Traumatic Werewolf Disorder,” Rico explained at the look on my face. “It happens when things get all bitey.”
“Chris,” Jessie said, staring up at the sky, “if you could shift so I don’t have to see your junk again, that’d be great.”
Chris didn’t argue. The muscles and bones underneath his skin began to move, and he grunted as he fell to his knees. His shift was slower than a born wolf’s, as was Tanner’s. But it wasn’t long before two wolves stood before us, eyes orange.
“Dominique?” Ox asked Jessie.
“She knows what to do. Don’t worry about her. Focus on what we need to do, Ox. Let’s get this over with.” She tapped the crowbar against her shoulder. “And don’t get in my way.”
He nodded before looking at Gordo wordlessly.
Gordo was staring off into the trees, his hand still on Mark. “It’s hurt,” he whispered. “There’s blood. Whatever it is, it’s been injured.”
“Don’t take any chances,” Ox said.
Rico cocked his gun. “My kind of alfa. Shoot first, ask questions later. Let’s rock ’n’ roll, motherfuckers.”
There was no shooting.
There was no fighting.
But oh, was there blood. I could smell it the closer we got to the wards, heavy and thick and filled with so much anguish, I thought I would drown in it. It was a wolf, but not one of ours. It wasn’t an Omega.
It was an Alpha.
Ox stopped, raising his snout, nostrils flaring as he inhaled deeply. Joe stood at his side, a yin and yang of black and white. I was struck then by a ferocious memory of being in Caswell, standing in Michelle’s office, phone ringing, computer beeping, as black-and-white wolves haunted me like ghosts.
“All right?” Kelly whispered, hand brushing against mine.
“Yeah,” I muttered. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. “Just… I’ll tell you later. There’s blood. A lot of it.”
“Do you need to shift?”
I couldn’t tell him that I was afraid to. That I didn’t want to scare Tanner and Chris. That I thought I could stay more in control as a human. I said, “No. Not yet. Gordo was right. Someone has been hurt. Badly.”
He nodded as Gordo stepped between Ox and Joe, the Alphas pressing against him. Mark came up behind him, bowing his head and pressing it against Gordo’s back. Gordo took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly before he raised his hand and began muttering under his breath.
My skin prickled as his magic rose and the wards before us lit up. They were familiar, and my gums itched as my fangs threatened to drop. The timber wolf growled at Gordo, but Carter bumped against him to distract him. Gordo paid them no attention as he pressed his hand flat against the ward. There was a pulse of light and the distant chime of what sounded like bells, and then the ward collapsed in on itself—but only the one. It created an opening, and Gordo dropped his hand. He looked back at us. He was sweating, the sheen on his forehead flashing in the sun. “Okay,” he said as he panted. “We should be good. Christ, that takes a lot out of me. Patrice and Aileen put too much into it. Fuck.”
The stench of blood grew stronger, and Ox shifted back. The muscles in his back rippled as he stood. He said, “It’s Alpha Wells.” He took a step beyond the wards.
We followed him single file before spreading out on the other side of the barrier.
Kelly saw it first, a splash of blood against a green bush, the deep red dripping onto the forest floor. He touched the leaf before rubbing his fingers together. “It’s not tacky. She’s got to be close.”
She was.
Fifty yards beyond the wards, the trail of blood came to an end. There was a large boulder, and on the other side of it was a woman I’d last seen on a forgotten bridge in Virginia.
Shannon Wells didn’t open her eyes as we came before her. I didn’t even know if she was conscious. Her chest rose and fell quickly, her breaths shallow and sounding painful. She was naked, as if she’d shifted with the last of her strength.
Her numerous wounds weren’t healing. I saw the wet white of bone through a gash on her forearm, which hung uselessly at her side. Her chest was a mess of deep slashes. Her face was bloodied and swollen, and her mouth hung open. She looked as if she were missing teeth.
“Oh no,” Jessie whispered, pushing by me and crouching before her. She reached out but hesitated, like she was unsure of where to touch the wounded Alpha and not hurt her any further. She whipped her own shirt over her head and settled it carefully over the Alpha’s lap as if to preserve her dignity. “Ox, you have to help her.”
Elizabeth shifted next to Jessie. She was still half-wolf when she reached out and cupped Shannon’s face in her hands. “Shannon. Can you hear me?”
Shannon groaned but didn’t open her eyes.
“What happened to her?” Rico asked quietly. “She looks like she’s been ravaged. Why isn’t she healing?”
“It’s too much for her,” Ox said, crouching down on Shannon’s other side. “Her body is weakened.”
Shannon Wells opened her eyes.
They flickered red. Then to her normal green. Then red again.
And then violet.
She began to scream.
It burst out of her, a sound of pure horror, eyes wide but unseeing. She tilted her head back against the boulder and screamed like she was never going to stop. Birds took flight from the trees around us as her voice echoed through the woods. I felt the terrible song of despair down to my bones.
Jessie fell back as Shannon jerked forward, still screaming. Joe stepped in front of Jessie, allowing her to pick herself up while he stood guard. But Shannon didn’t go for her. She didn’t go for any of us. All she did was scream as her life’s blood dripped from her body onto the forest floor.
Ox’s eyes filled again, and he half-shifted before roaring in her face.
Her screams cut off like her throat had closed.
Clarity leaked back into her eyes.
And it was horrible.
She was aware, and I felt the sharp pieces of her breaking off.
When she spoke, her voice was choked. She said, “I… I… I came. I came. Because. I have nothing. I have no one. It’s all gone. It’s all gone. They….” And, her voice a growl, “Alpha. Alpha, Alpha.”
Then her eyes rolled back into her head, and Elizabeth caught her before she could fall to the ground. She looked up at us, face pale. “Her eyes. They’re…. Gordo?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s not like the others. It’s….”
Ox nodded solemnly. “We need to get her back to the house. Make her comfortable.” He looked stricken as he bent over her, putting a hand against her forehead. He grimaced as he closed his eyes. “I don’t…. She doesn’t have much time.” He dropped his hand before leaning forward and kissing her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Shannon.”
And then he picked her up in one smooth motion. She didn’t make a sound as her head hung back off his arm, her hair like a wet flag slick with blood that splashed onto the ground as Ox moved slowly through the forest.
We stayed quiet as we followed him back the way we’d come.
Will threw the grate up over the door as we returned to the motel. He burst out, talking a mile a minute, demanding to know if he needed to gather the town to defend Green Creek. He stopped when he saw Ox and who he carried in his arms.
“Is that one of you?” he whispered. “A shape-shifter?”
“It is,” Jessie said, going to him as Ox walked to the truck. “Tell everyone who asks that there was no threat. There never was. It was only her. She’s one of the good ones. Gordo’s repairing the wards, so nothing else should be able to get in.”
Will nodded. “Can do.” Then, “She looks rough. Is she going to make it?”
No one answered him, which was answer enough.
Ox climbed carefully into the back of the truck, making sure not to jostle Shannon. She groaned but didn’t open her eyes as he sat with his back against the cab, Shannon bleeding into his lap. Jessie’s shirt was already soaked through. Tanner reached into the truck and pulled out an old towel, handed it over to Ox, who laid it on Shannon. Blood immediately bloomed like roses against it.
Joe stood on his hind legs, looking at them both, propped up against the side of the truck. Ox’s face was blank, waves of blue, blue, blue pouring off him. He said, “Get to the house. We need to make her comfortable for the time she has left.”
Joe nodded, stretching his head toward Ox, licking his cheek before he dropped back down on all fours. He growled, and Carter, Elizabeth, and the timber wolf ran after him as he took off toward home.
Chris and Tanner had already shifted back and were getting dressed. Gone was the bravado they’d felt just a short time before when we’d stood in the parking lot.
Kelly nodded toward his patrol car. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
I glanced back at Ox to see him brush a slick strand of hair off Shannon’s face. He whispered, “What have I done?”
The ride back to the house was almost completely silent. It was just me and Kelly, Rico opting to drive Ox’s truck.
We pulled back onto the dirt road when I said, “What did he mean? Gordo. He said it wasn’t like the others.”
Kelly was tense. His shoulders were stiff, and his brow was furrowed. “Carter. His wolf. Mark. It was because of the infection. Because of whatever Livingstone tried to do, spread to the wolves. It’s magical. They only have control because of Ox and what he is. Shannon… she’s not like them. But she’s still an Omega.”
I closed my eyes. “Which means her tether was ripped from her.”
“Yeah.”
“Her pack. Are they…?”
“I think so.”
“They had kids. Three of them. Brodie. John.” And even though I hated myself for it, it took me a moment to think of the last one. “James. Jimmy.”
“You remember them?”
I shook my head. “She told me over the phone. On the bridge. That I’d met them. That I’d been in their house. That I’d sat at their table. That I ate with them. Is this him? Is this Ezra?” And that was a lie, wasn’t it? All of it.
Every single piece.
Every single part.
The way he’d pretended to care for me.
The way he’d loved me.
The way he’d made me feel safe.
“I don’t—”
“Fuck!” I cried. “Fuck! Goddammit.” I roared as I smashed my fist into the dashboard again and again. It cracked under the force of it, bones in my fingers breaking.
Kelly slammed on the brakes, and I threw open the door and stepped out onto the road. I screamed up at the sky, and everything I felt, all the anguish and rage and fear of what had been done to me and all that lay ahead poured out of me. I had known the truth weeks ago, the weight of it heavy on my shoulders. But only now did I let it crack me open and fill me up.
There was a tree just off the road. An old elm. The trunk was thick and solid.
Little wolf, little wolf, can’t you see? my mother whispered from somewhere through the fire scorching the earth. She sounded like she was dying.
Quiet as a mouse.
I punched the tree again and again and again.
The branches shook as the trunk split, bark breaking off in large clumps. Leaves fluttered down around me. Sap leaked from the tree, mixing in with my own blood, and I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.
But there was a voice through the fire, through the storm in my head. It was saying my name, saying “Robbie” and “please” and “don’t do this, please don’t do this,” and wasn’t that just the thing? Because hadn’t Chris or Tanner said the same thing at one point? Hadn’t they begged me to stop?
They had.
And I hadn’t stopped.
A hand fell on my shoulder, trying to pull me away.
I spun on my heels, snarling, ready to lash out.
Kelly didn’t move.
He wasn’t afraid, at least not of me.
His hand wasn’t on his gun, ready to pull it in case he needed it.
“Why didn’t I know?” I shouted at him. “Why did he do this to me? What the fuck does he want?”
“I don’t know,” Kelly said carefully, like he was trying to calm a cornered animal. And he was, foolish though it should have been. I wanted to shove him away. “We don’t even know if he had anything to—”
“Don’t,” I growled. “He did this. He did this. You know it as well as I do. And I laid my head in his lap and thought he hung the moon. I thought he was my friend. I thought he was my family. And you all just let me go.”
“Fuck you,” Kelly snarled, angrier than I’d ever seen him. “You want to make this about you? Fine. Let’s go. Let’s go home and stand above Alpha Wells and you can tell her how much this hurts you, how angry you are for something you had no control over. I’m sure it’ll make her feel better before she dies. Come on. Come on. What the hell are you waiting for? Isn’t this what you want?”
Oh Jesus. I couldn’t breathe. I deflated, the ruins of my hands already stitching themselves back together. I bent over, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I gagged. A thin line of spit hung from my lips. I retched, but nothing came out. Kelly stayed where he was, and I was grateful for it. I didn’t want to be touched. He was right, of course. About everything. And here I was, throwing it back in his face.
I spat onto the ground, my throat working as I struggled to catch my breath. “Shit,” I muttered.
A car came down the road. It stopped next to the truck. Jessie and Chris. I heard Chris roll down the window. “Everything all right? What are you—holy shit, Robbie! What the hell happened to your hands?”
“Leave it,” Kelly snapped. “Go. Get to the house. We’ll be there in a minute.”
“You good?” Jessie asked, and I knew what she wasn’t saying.
Are you safe from him?
“Yes,” Kelly said. “Go.”
She didn’t argue. They pulled away, the sounds of the car fading as they headed down the dirt road toward the house.
The cuts on my hands were closing, the skin knitting itself back together. All that remained was the blood.
“You done?” Kelly asked.
I nodded, spitting onto the ground once more before pulling myself upright with a groan.
“Good,” Kelly said. “Now I’m going to talk, and you’re going to listen.”
“You don’t need to—”
“I swear to god, if you say another fucking word, I will shoot you. You’ll heal, but it’s going to hurt.”
I nodded, looking down at the ground.
He stepped in front of me, our knees bumping together. He tilted my head up so I looked him in the eyes. I tried to turn away, but his grip on my jaw was firm. I could have easily broken his hold on me, but I didn’t want to. Not really. His blue eyes were bright, and I thought I could watch him forever, if only he would let me.
He said, “You know I didn’t leave you. I’ve told you that before, and I wasn’t lying. Yes, we fucked up, and yes, it’s taken a long time for everyone else to come around, but we’re here with you. I’m here.”
“It’s not the same—”
“Shut. Up.” His hand tightened around my jaw, applying pressure against my skin. “You don’t think I know that? Because I do, Robbie. Better than anyone else. Because I know you. Because I have loved you for years. And I love you still. No matter what. But this isn’t about us. This isn’t about you. And even if it was, it’s not your fault. If Robert Livingstone has anything to do with this, that’s on him, much like what he did to you. You didn’t ask for it. Alpha Wells didn’t either. Everything he said to you, everything he whispered in your ear, was a lie. All he cares about is destroying everything we’ve made for ourselves, and you’re fucking helping right now. Pull yourself together. This is going to get rough, and I need you, okay? I need you by my side, because I don’t know how I’ll get through this if I don’t have that. So man the fuck up.”
I collapsed against him. He wrapped his arms around me. I did the same, clutching his uniform as I shook. I took in great gasping breaths, and he never let me go. He didn’t speak, but he didn’t have to. Just having him close was enough.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered against his throat.
He sighed. “I know you are. This sucks, I know that. But you’re…. Christ. I need you to be strong with me, because I don’t know if I can be strong for both of us. I’ve tried, Robbie. Through everything, but I can’t keep going on like this.” His throat clicked as he swallowed. “It’s killing me.”
I pulled away, but not enough that either of us needed to drop our arms. We stood there, in a forest in the middle of nowhere, on a dirt road that led to home, and I knew that I’d do everything I could to keep this. To hold on to it with everything I had.
His eyes searched mine.
I said, “I can do that.”
“Will you?”
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “Anything for you. It’s—”
He kissed me there, in the bright, bright sunlight. He breathed into me, and I thought he was giving me life, warm and all-consuming. Our noses bumped together. My hands went to his elbows. He sighed into my mouth, and all I ever wanted was a place to call home.
And here was home, in a person so fierce and wild that I wanted him to tear me apart.
He kissed the corner of my mouth.
My cheeks.
My forehead, his hand coming up and gripping my neck.
“We’ll figure this out, okay?” he whispered, lips still pressed against my skin. “And no matter what happens, no matter if we stay as we are or get back all that was taken from us, it’ll be you and me.”
I believed him, even as I wondered if this was going to be one of the last moments we ever had like this.
Eventually he pulled away, but not before he reached up and fixed my glasses. His hands lingered on the sides of my face. “I see you. For all that you are. For all that you’re not. And I never want to lose sight of you again.”
I turned my head and kissed his palm.
“Good?” he asked when he dropped his hands.
I shrugged, then nodded.
“I’ll take it,” he said. “Come on. I don’t think she has much time.”
She didn’t.
