I get my courses the next morning and learn of another peculiarity of the orc society. When I wake up and find a spot of blood on my shift and another on the linen sheet beneath me, I flush deeply and try to pull it from underneath Gorvor’s bulky body so I can wash it and remove the stain before he notices it.
He wakes before I can execute my stealthy plan, though, takes one look at the blood, and springs into action. Apparently, women who have their courses are to be pampered and taken care of. He sends a servant running for fresh sheets, then carries me to the large bathing tub and sets me in the water, asking whether I need anything.
I try to explain to him that I’m fine and only need some linen strips to take care of things, but he insists I stay in bed all day. The servant returns not only with a change of bedding but also with a small wicker basket filled with soft undergarments designed to catch the women’s monthly blood. I’ve never seen anything alike, and it’s a genius idea.
“We should sew more of these and sell them at the human market,” I declare after I wrap myself in a bath sheet and dry my skin. “Human women of all ages will fight for them, I can tell you that.”
Gorvor chuckles as he tucks me into the freshly made bed. “That can be your first personal contribution to the clan. You can ask Mara to assign you a seamstress or two. I’m sure you’ll find a way.”
Pleasure glows inside me at his acceptance. Any other man would dismiss the idea as silly because it’s meant specifically for women, but not this orc. He’s thoughtful and kind, and I shouldn’t care that he’s keeping secrets from me. In time, he might trust me more.
Will I be happy if he never confides in me? If after a year or a decade together, he still demands my obedience without explanation? I don’t know. It’s a question I cannot answer yet. I will have to wait and see.
But maybe I could start by letting him know some of my past. I smooth the fresh sheet over my lap and force myself to speak.
“You know,” I begin, “I was thirteen the first time I got my courses.”
Gorvor sits on the bed next to me and raises his eyebrows. “That’s early. Orc maidens don’t get them until they’re seventeen or so.”
“Lucky them.” I smile, though it’s hard with the memories swirling through my mind. “It was on that day that my parents signed a contract with their neighbor to sell me to him as a wife.”
He stiffens at my side. “What?”
I gaze at the ceiling because meeting Gorvor’s gaze is too hard. “Indeed. We were poor, and he had the money to take me off my parents’ hands. They would have gotten a nice sum for me.”
I know exactly what they thought I was worth. Three gold marks, a pair of good laying chickens, and a bag of turnips.
It’s the turnips that still hurts to this day.
“But you were a child,” Gorvor exclaims. He seems angry on my behalf, which soothes some of my old pain.
I shrug. “I bled, so I could be bedded.”
His green skin goes ashen, and he clasps my hand. “That’s barbaric. And humans say orcs are the evil ones.”
I offer him a wry smile. “Anything that’s different, we hate. Even I was different, and I look exactly like them. But my unwillingness to marry, to submit to some unwashed man more than three times my age, made me a freak.”
He frowns fiercely and presses our joined hands to his heart. “You never need to worry again, little mate. I’ll protect you. From humans. From orcs. From anyone who would wish to hurt you.”
His words soothe me and allow me to continue. “I begged my parents not to make me go. To let me wait another winter, at least. I don’t know if an additional year might have changed anything, but I think at that point, I was hoping for a miracle.”
“I wish I’d been there to protect you.” He gathers me in his arms and tucks my head beneath his chin.
I laugh. “I would pay good money to see that. A young, handsome orc, barging into my parents’ house and dragging me off to safety. They’d come after you with pitchforks!”
He scoffs. “If I came to fetch you, they wouldn’t even see me coming. You humans make so much noise but you’re deaf to the world around you.”
I snuggle closer to his chest and let him hold me for a while. My womb cramps painfully, and I wince, but I don’t want to send Gorvor off on another mission to make me more comfortable during my courses. I’m perfectly fine here, and his affection is all the comfort I need.
“How did you get away?” he asks after a while. “Or did you end up having to marry that man?”
The tension in his big muscles tells me what he thinks of the second option, so I hurry to calm him.
“I ran away,” I explain. “I stole my father’s horse, rode to the first town, and sold the horse at an inn. Then I hitched a ride to a school for young ladies and begged the kitchen staff until they took me on as a scullery maid. I’ve been working as a maid in various establishments ever since.”
Sometimes, I was lucky enough to land a job at some well-to-do house with good pay, room, and board. Other times, I made do by working at inns and guesthouses and had to pay rent for a little room of my own. Whatever it took to survive, I did it, and I could never stay in one place too long for the fear of my parents finding me. Legally, until I was married, I belonged to my father, and I don’t doubt he is still searching for me. Both for the sake of me and his old horse, his most prized possessions. He’d lost both in one night, and that must have been a big blow.
I’ve long since lost any trace of guilt over my flight. Over robbing my parents of their fortune. That fortune was my life, and they would have bargained it away without a thought. It feels good to share the story with someone who is as outraged as I was about it.
“Thank you for telling me,” Gorvor murmurs against my temple. “And I’m sorry you had to go through this alone.”
I kiss the underside of his jaw, his stubble stinging my lips. “It brought me here in the end, didn’t it?”
His arms tighten around me. “That is true.”
I didn’t tell him all this to garner his sympathy. There’s something more I have to say, and it doesn’t fall from my tongue any more easily than this confession.
“I’m sorry,” I say, forcing out the words. “For treating you like I did when I first met you. I didn’t know anything about orcs besides rumors, and I was horrendously rude to you and your people. Yet none of you treated me with anything but respect, better than I was ever treated by humans.”
His exhale tickles my neck, and he’s silent for a long moment as if he’s trying to find the right words.
Then he takes my shoulders and moves me back a little to look into my eyes. “I understand now why you reacted like you did.”
I snort. “You did bring some of it on yourself. I don’t know that any woman would like being tossed over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried into some dark tunnel.”
His laugh booms through the room. “I’m an orc. I have to live up to my reputation.”
“By ravaging innocent maidens, you mean?” I poke him in the chest. “You picked the wrong woman, then.”
He leans his forehead against mine. “I picked exactly the right one.”
Oh, he’s wonderful.
I kiss him, pressing my lips against his, and we stay entwined for what seems like hours, until he is called away by his duties. After that, for the first time in my life, I allow myself to rest for no other reason than I have my courses and my belly hurts. It feels almost wrong, somehow, lazy and indulgent, but when another wave of fresh pain has me curling up in a ball, I see the wisdom in it. And the kindness that orcs apparently show their women, unlike human men, who would rather eat rusty nails than discuss a woman’s courses with her.
In the afternoon, Mara shows up with my lunch and a basket full of her work correspondence. She settles down at Gorvor’s writing desk, unceremoniously pushing his writing utensils to the side, and keeps me company for a while. I’m not sure whether this is her idea or Gorvor’s, but when she departs in the early evening, I thank her sincerely.
“It’s no bother,” she says, beaming. “It hardly matters where I’m sitting when I answer the letters. Besides, you can return the favor in a week or so when my courses come.”
On a whim, I step forward and hug her, leaning my cheek on her shoulder. With a delighted chuckle, she hugs me back, and it feels so good, having a female friend. To Mara, my pale skin doesn’t matter, nor the fact that I lack tusks and the strength that distinguishes the orc race. There are so many misconceptions about orcs in the human world, and I’m ashamed that I once believed all of them.
But from now on, I can do better.
“Thank you,” I whisper past a suddenly tight throat.
She draws back. “For what?”
“For being a friend,” I say simply.
She clucks softly and picks up her basket. “Well, friend, see you tomorrow.”
She leaves, disappearing down the dark corridor. I share the sweet rolls from my dinner with Vark and Steagor, who must be going out of their minds with boredom just standing outside my room all day. Then I close the door, settle in bed, and pull my knees to my chest.
I have a plan for making myself an indispensable part of this clan, and I need to present it to Gorvor in a way that will make it impossible for him to deny it.
And if I’m to stay in my room and rest, this is the perfect time to think things through.
