Present
An hour later, and I’m still on edge. I was tired before the fight at the dojo, but now I was wired, awake, and pissed at myself. My cards were on the table now.
She knew I hated her, so there was no getting close to her if I needed to, and Kai was probably relishing my disgusting display of jealousy. What had Damon told me, time and again? It’s always best to say as little as possible. The more of a mystery you are, the less leverage they have.
And I went and fucked it all up.
I walked down the quiet street, entering Halston Park, the shopping district of Meridian City. It was just after nine, and I looked up at the sky, finally able to see a few stars. The lights everywhere else in this town were too bright to see many anymore.
What did Alex want? She’d texted, saying that Kai wanted me to meet her at McGivern and Bourne. I’d never been there, but I knew it was an upscale department store.
Rounding a corner, I swept some hair out of my eye and tucked it back under my hat as I approached the building’s glass doors.
I raised my hand to knock but stopped, seeing that it was dark inside. There were a few emergency lights shining way in the back, lighting hallways, but this store was closed. Why did she tell me to come here?
Screw it. I dropped my hand and turned to leave.
“Oh, don’t you dare!” a woman’s voice shouted.
I spun around, seeing Alex coming out of the doors. She wore a billowing, sexy white blouse that hung off her shoulder with black leggings and brown leather boots up to her knees. It occurred to me I’d almost only ever seen her in workout clothes. Aside from Michael’s party.
She skipped over and grabbed my hand, pulling me along.
I dug my heels in. “What is this? Isn’t this place closed?”
“Not for us,” she sing-songed. “Come on.”
She swung the door back open, forcing me inside.
“What’s going on?” I whined.
“Kai’s orders,” Alex answered. “Shut up and follow me.”
A security guard in a dark gray uniform came over, locking the door behind us. “Have fun, ladies.”
“Thanks, Pip,” Alex chirped.
“Phillipe,” he corrected.
“Whatevs.”
I narrowed my eyes on her. “You know him?”
“Nah, we just met. He fell fast, though.”
I rolled my eyes. What was going on? Clearly, the store was closed. Except for us. Why?
My combat boots squeaked across the marble floors, and I glanced up again, momentarily forgetting to resist her as the air in my lungs expelled.
Whoa. At least five floors were stacked on top of us. We stood at the bottom of the atrium, and I turned my head around and back and forth, seeing how the flights above us circled the perimeter of the open space, all the way to the skylight at the top of the building. Every floor could look over the edge and see us down here.
A massive chandelier hung high, and everything sparkled white and gold as the scent of leather and perfumes wafted over me.
We passed display cases of jewelry, perfume counters, and purses, while pictures hung everywhere, displaying beautiful people on yachts and in luxury snow cabins brandishing their ten-thousand dollar watches or suede boots that you could easily pick up here and then you, too, would be magically transported to a yacht in the Mediterranean or a cabin in Aspen or a polo club in Scotland.
I used to dream that my mom and I would go shopping some place like this when I was little.
Someday, when we were rich and all the problems were gone, we’d have pretty things, I’d be popular, and my real life would have started.
It still seemed like part of me was dreaming of that. Always waiting. Biding my time.
“Have you ever been in here before?” Alex asked, leading me into an elevator.
“No.”
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” She pressed the button for the fourth floor and the elevator doors closed, immediately beginning to ascend. “Did you ever see that old movie from the 80s? Mannequin?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head.
“Well, this window dresser works nights in a department store like this, and it always looked like so much fun to be him, you know? Having the whole place to yourself to try on clothes, explore, and play with everything.”
The elevator stopped, the doors opened, and she walked out, not waiting for me to follow her.
“Look, it’s after nine.” I trailed behind as she strolled through a maze of racks. “I still have a couple things to take care of tonight. What am I doing here?”
She delicately picked up a piece of silk something—lingerie?—and matching underwear. “Trying on clothes, exploring, and playing with everything,” she replied frankly, inspecting the garments.
She held the top up to me, and I reared back, seeing spaghetti straps, lace, buttons, and a shitload of missing fabric that should’ve been covering the stomach. Jesus. That wasn’t clothes. It was the scraps left over from the clothes.
She pursed her lips, appraising me. “Hmmm…dark brown hair. Olive skin. The slate gray, yes. That’ll do really nicely.”
“Do nicely for what?” I tensed. “I’m not wearing that.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” She dropped her arms, sighing. “Would you please have a drink? Lots of drinks?”
I turned around to leave. This was the last thing I needed today.
But a body suddenly blocked my path, and I sucked in a breath, backing up again.
Will Grayson stared down at me, smiling.
“What are you doing here?” I burst out. He wasn’t staggering, and his eyes weren’t hooded as usual. “Sober for once?”
He laughed and walked around me, starting to sift through the panties on the table. He picked up a black G-string and threw it at Alex before turning back and looking for more he liked.
That better be for her.
“Look, I gotta go.” I spun back around and walked toward the elevators.
“Doors are locked,” he called.
“Don’t worry.” I glanced over my shoulder at him. “That won’t stop me.”
He tossed another garment to Alex, speaking to her. “Go pick out a few more things.”
She nodded and walked off, and he made his way to me. I stopped and turned.
“Look.” He sighed, gazing at me like I was a child. “You seem like you don’t have a lot of friends, and wow, that’s a real shocker, but Alex seems to like you, and I like her, so I try to be a friend.”
“That must cost you a pretty penny.”
He cocked an eyebrow, not appreciating my remark. “She arranged for the place to be open after closing hours, so you wouldn’t get skittish on account of all the…oh, what’s the word?” He tapped his chin, pretending to think. “People?”
Whatever.
Yeah, I don’t like people, but it’s a conscious choice, not a hang-up.
I could deal with them. If I wanted to. Which I didn’t.
“Kai wants you to buy clothes,” he continued. “They don’t have to be sexy or girly or even as stylish as those awesome hand-me-down guys’ jeans you’re wearing with the indents of Damon’s packs of cigarettes on the back pocket. But they have to be nice, they do have to fit, and they do have to be yours. I’m here to make sure you do that.”
“I would rather eat my hand than let Kai Mori pay for my shit,” I gritted out.
“He’s not paying. Graymor Cristane is.” He walked into me, forcing me to back up. “You’re an employee, and you represent us. We have an expense account for clothes. It’s not personal. It’s business. And you always look like shit, so here we are.” He threw out his arms, gesturing to the massive, dimly lit, empty department store we now stood in at nine-thirty at night.
That they’d completely arranged with my comfort in mind.
“Now, sit down,” he ordered, “I need to go get a bra to match your new underwear.”
A little more than an hour later, we were in Will’s car, driving through the city with the back chock full of bags. I couldn’t believe what had happened. Or how fast it happened. Alex was like a tornado, and she and Will talked too fast to let me think or argue. They started picking out stuff I hated, and before I knew it, I was tossing out garments I didn’t like and keeping ones I thought I might be able to wear. And after a few more minutes, I participated and shopped and shit.
I sat there, still a little stunned.
I’d probably just get rid of most of it. Put it in the Goodwill donation box and make tomorrow someone’s Christmas morning, right?
Or hey, I’m sure my mom would love the stuff. Why not?
I didn’t like anyone paying for my things. It made me obligated.
But it was kind of fun indulging in the fantasy that this was all mine. That, for a few minutes, I had bags and bags of little treasures and pretty, new things that had never belonged to anyone else and any woman in town would envy me for.
I’d even enjoyed the feel of the slate gray lingerie when she shoved me in a dressing room to try it on. I thought about what Kai’s face would look like if he saw me.
“Well, thanks.” I glanced over at Alex in the seat next to me as Will drove. “And thanks for the ride home.”
She gave me a sincere smile. “You’re welcome. And you could’ve worn one of your new outfits, you know.” Her eyes fell down to the same dingy attire I’d worn into the store.
I shrugged. “I’m going to sleep soon. The day is over. No sense in taking a chance at getting something dirty.”
I turned my eyes on Will, watching him take a drag off his cigarette, while Alex started typing on her phone. They had a weird relationship. They were friends, who slept with each other, but they also slept with other people.
But who was I to talk? I didn’t have a single, healthy relationship in my life. At least they enjoyed each other.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I dug into my jacket, fishing it out.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey, trouble.”
That smooth, deep tone poured like syrup into my ear. Only one person could make those two words sound like a threat.
My chest rose and fell faster and faster, and my heart raced.
God, I hadn’t heard his voice in so long, and I shot my eyes over to Alex and then to Will, making sure I hadn’t drawn attention to myself. Will watched the road, while Alex had turned her gaze out her window.
“Hey, um…” I breathed hard, licking my parched lips as I kept my voice low. “I can’t really talk right now. Can I call you back?”
“Did you have fun tonight?” he asked.
Tonight? How did…
God, Kai was right. Damon was watching me, too? Or he was having someone watch me. Did he know about last night?
“They will hurt you,” he told me. “And he will toss you out like trash, because that’s what sluts are. Trash.”
My chin trembled.
“If I was going to let my kid sister pass her pussy off to my friends,” he said, “I’d have at least given you to Will for first dibs. He was the most loyal.”
I stared at Will as he drove, completely oblivious to who I was talking to.
“I gotta go,” I told my brother.
“He’s going to die,” he spat out.
He. Kai?
“Not because he betrayed me, but because you did,” he explained. “This will be all your fault.”
My heart pounded so hard it hurt. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Damon would do it. He had nothing to lose.
And he was single-minded in his idea of what was right and what was wrong. Betrayal was unforgiveable.
I cleared my throat, keeping my words vague, since Alex and Will were sitting here. “I’ll take care of it.”
“I’m already doing that. It’s Wednesday night. He’s usually at the cathedral around this time, isn’t he?”
I closed my eyes. “Don’t,” I whispered.
But he’d already hung up.
“Hello?”
The other end of the line was dead.
Goddammit. Kai worked late on Wednesday nights. Then he showered and ate and drove to Thunder Bay to the Cathedral of Saint Raphael. Sometimes he went in the confessional, sometimes he strolled and looked at the art. Sometimes he was in there less than ten minutes, sometimes more than an hour.
He went every Wednesday, though. Every. Single. Wednesday.
He was supposed to be an expert in self-defense, right? Wasn’t “varying your routine” a preventative measure, goddammit?
I stuck the phone in my pocket. “Can you take me to St. Raphael’s?” I called out to Will.
“In Thunder Bay?” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Why?”
“I just need to get there.”
“What about your clothes?”
“I don’t give a shit about the clothes,” I bit out. “Just let me take your car then? Please!”
“Alright, alright.” He sighed and jerked the wheel left, turning and speeding down the narrow, cobbled street toward the highway. “I’ll take you.”
I pulled on my seatbelt. “Go fast.”
