I SAT in my car at the airport and waited until I knew his plane had taken off before I let myself cry. Then I held on to my steering wheel, and I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.
I wiped my wet cheeks, and I drove back to my office.
I flicked on the lights and walked through the empty, silent space. As soon as the news of my scandal had hit, my phone started ringing off the hook. My own clients were apologetic, but they had started the process of moving to other agents. Only my most loyal clients, like Mica and Ryan, wanted to remain with me.
The five agents who worked at my agency faced similar pressure. If they stayed with me, they risked losing their clients. I had encouraged them to save their careers and spent a fair amount of time calling in old favors to connect them with other agencies.
Without any agents beneath me, it was no longer feasible to pay rent on my office space, so I was in the process of breaking my lease, cleaning up the space, and making arrangements for most of the furniture to be sold at auction. With only four clients left, I could easily run my business from my apartment.
A door slammed behind me.
Charlie looked around before she walked over and hugged me. “It’s weird in here.”
I took a big breath. “Yeah, it is.”
She pulled back. “Can I help?”
I looked around and shrugged. “I don’t really know where to start.”
I felt my face scrunch up, and then I was crying again.
She wrapped her arms around me. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
“He left this morning, didn’t he?”
I pulled back and quickly wiped my face. “It’s the best decision for him.”
“Mica told him that staying here would only hurt you more. He basically made him leave.”
My eyes searched Charlie’s face. “Really?” For some reason that soothed me.
“Levi wanted to stay here because of you.”
That also made me feel better. I sniffed and gave a half-laugh. “I knew he’d be trouble.”
She looked around. “That’s an understatement.”
“You know, there were so many times when I almost told you about me and Levi. I wished I had. It was a really hard secret to keep.”
Her sympathetic gaze met mine. “I get it. That was, like, a black-ops kind of secret. You knew what would happen if it got out.”
“Well, the secret got out, and the damage was even worse than I anticipated.”
I was at ground zero. My business had been decimated, and now I need to decide how I wanted to proceed. “You know, people keep telling me that in this business, once the smoke clears, it’s easy to rebuild, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I don’t think I want another big agency.”
She looked at me in surprise. “Really?”
I gave her a sad smile. “I’m tired. I worked around the clock for years to build this up, and for what?”
“This is just a setback,” she said reassuringly.
“Honestly, I’m not sure what I want anymore. But I’m pretty sure it isn’t this.”
I SPENT the next week avoiding calls from my mom, Brian and Levi. I also avoided my own feelings by throwing myself into clean-up mode. I was in my office, shredding some items, when I heard the front door slam.
“We’re closed,” I yelled.
My sister appeared in the doorway, her hand resting on her swollen belly. She looked around the empty office and then at me. “Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?”
“Excuse me?”
“I know Eduard sent you flowers, and I know he’s having an affair with you.” She looked around the room. “And now you’re getting your just deserts.”
I rushed to her side. “Helene, I’m not having an affair with Eduard.”
She looked up at me with pain in her eyes. “I forced the shop owner to tell me where the flowers were delivered. They came here. You can’t deny it. My child isn’t going to have a father because of you.”
My mind raced as I tried to think of ways to calm her down. This tiresome conflict was the last thing I needed right now. “Take it easy, Helene. Come and sit down.”
“Don’t touch me.” She swatted my hand away. Then she bent over suddenly, clutching her belly again—but this time with a groan. “Something’s wrong.”
I bent over her. “What? What’s happening?”
She looked at me with fear in her eyes. “You need to get me to the hospital.”
MY MOM RUSHED DOWN the long, sterile hospital hallway towards me, with both fear and rage on her face. I knew there would be hell to pay.
“What happened?” she asked breathlessly. “Where is she? Is the baby okay?”
“Baby is fine. Helene is fine too. She had some pains, but no one is in distress. They want to keep her here to monitor her for a few days.”
The fear in my mom’s eyes faded. All that was left was her anger. “What happened?”
I paused as I wondered how to explain this. “Helene got upset.”
“Let me guess: you upset her.”
I lifted up my hands. “She misunderstood the situation.”
She pushed me out of the way. “Where is she?”
“Room 211.”
She didn’t look back before hustling down the hallway. I gave them a few minutes together before I slowly followed.
I pushed open the door. Helene was crying and my mom was sitting beside her, holding her hand.
My mom glared at me with accusing eyes. “Get out.”
“Mom, listen to me.”
She stood up. “Get out. I’ll deal with you later. Wait for me outside.”
She kept me waiting for three hours. I spent that time pacing the cramped waiting room, dreading what version of events she was hearing from my sister.
It was only when visiting hours were over that she came out. She gave me a nasty look but moved around me without speaking.
“Mom.” I trailed after her. “Are you ready to hear my side of the story?”
“I’m not interested in hearing your lies, Krista. It’s time you stopped trying to pull the wool over our eyes. I know you’ve been trying to get Eduard back since day one.”
I stopped walking. “So that’s it? You don’t even want to hear my side?”
“Leave your sister alone.”
And with that, she stepped into the elevator and refused to look at me as the doors shut between us.
AS I WALKED down the steps of the hospital towards my car, I noticed that Brian had sent a text message.
Brian: The divorce papers are ready to be signed.
I stopped walking and stared at my phone. It hadn’t been a real marriage, and I had always intended on ending it, but now when I faced the severance of my last connection with Levi, I felt a sense of such profound loss I almost couldn’t stand it.
I picked up my phone and dialed a number from heart.
“Hello?”
My voice was choked with tears. “Charlie? Could we talk?”
“Come on over. I’m still up.”
AN HOUR LATER, I sat curled up on Charlie’s couch, nursing a glass of wine. She sat across from me.
I usually kept my feelings to myself, but tonight, I couldn’t seem to stop talking.
“I know this marriage was a sham, to begin with. It was a big mistake that we always meant to fix. We were always supposed to get a divorce. There was never any question about that.”
Charlie’s expression was sympathetic. “You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?”
“No!” I protested, before dropping my eyes to my hands. “I don’t love him. I don’t know what this relationship is, but I know it was never supposed to last.”
She let my lie slide. “You miss him.”
I swallowed and could feel tears build up behind my eyes. “He’s so reckless, and he gets into more trouble than is humanly possible, but there were other things about him…”
“Like what?”
“He had my back, and he didn’t seem to mind who I was. I know I can be impossible at times, and everything I said would just roll off him.”
She leaned forward. “What about the sex? Was it off the charts?”
My eyes met hers. “It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
She paused and chose her words carefully. “Are you sure you want a divorce?”
“He’s finally getting the hockey career he deserves. The last thing he needs is his ex-agent clinging to him.” I shook my head with resolution. “This is the best thing for him.”
She tilted her head as she looked at me. “What about you? What’s best for you? What do you want?”
I want Levi in my life. I refused to say those words out loud. “I think I want to just wrap up this chapter of my life and keep moving forward.”
She gave me a regretful look. “You sure about that?”
I doubled down on my lie. “I’m sure. This has to end.”
EDUARD: You looked beautiful today.
Me: Stop contacting me.
Eduard: Is that why you told me you loved me?
Me: You’re delusional.
Eduard: You’re cute when you play hard to get.
Me: I am blocking your number. Don’t contact me again.
