Eden stared out the window at the moonlight on the Potomac as they crossed the Fourteenth Street Bridge. She didn’t know what the hell she’d been thinking when she’d agreed to this.
“Don’t even think about it,” Beckett said, drawing her gaze. “Do you have any idea how cold that water is right now?”
His allusion to thoughts of bailing into the Potomac made her smile. “You have to admit, it’s not a bad idea.”
“You’re right. It’s a terrible idea.” He reached over and took her hand, then brought it to his mouth for a kiss. Curling his fingers around hers, he rested them on the center console. “Relax, baby. We are a super-casual family.”
She shook her head. “I’m not at my best.”
“Yeah, you are,” he said seriously. “You just can’t see it.”
Eden looked out the passenger’s window again, overwhelmed by Beckett’s acceptance of her history. Of the way she shied away from the most important person in his life. This visit to his family was as risky to their current relationship as an avalanche to a skier.
And Beckett was the crazy-ass daredevil looking over his shoulder and laughing as the mountain tumbled after him.
“Where is your ex now?” he asked, jerking Eden in a completely different direction. “Did anything happen to him? I mean legally?”
“Yeah.” This she could answer with an element of satisfaction and pride. Nothing would bring Summer back, but at least Eden had reaped justice for her. “He’s in prison serving fourteen years for second-degree murder.”
Beckett’s head swiveled toward her, his mouth open. “Seriously? That’s…I don’t want to say awesome, because nothing about this is awesome, but it so refreshing to hear the system actually worked.”
“When you force it.”
“Meaning?”
“My father had considerable influence with the district attorney, and both my parents sided with my ex.”
“What?”
“They said I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. Then they said I should have had the abortion. Then they said, well, what did I expect putting him under all that pressure?”
“Jesus Christ,” Beckett bit out. He rested his elbow on the window ledge and rubbed his forehead.
Eden appreciated Beckett’s anger on her behalf, but she couldn’t let herself get caught up in it or she’d sink like a stone. “So I cracked open my trust fund to hire an attorney powerful enough to get past my father’s pull, and he convinced the DA to file charges. And when I found out how hard John was going to fight it, and how limited the DA’s resources were, I drained my trust fund to keep my attorney on the case. He did the research and put together the supporting documentation necessary to make sure John got the maximum sentence. My lawyer did everything but actually try the case.”
“It really sucks that you had to use money that could be helping you now to put that bastard where he belongs. But on the other hand—”
“It was gratifying to use my parents’ money to do it,” she finished.
“Exactly.”
And, dammit, this was why she was in the car, driving to meet his family. He got her. He wanted her. He accepted her, flaws and all.
She laid her head against the seat and soaked in the sight of his handsome profile as they made their way through Arlington toward the suburbs. “Do you like being a dad?”
“Oh, man.” He shook his head. “I love being Lily’s dad. That kid is the absolute light of my life. She turned my world upside down, and I can’t get enough of her. Everything I do or don’t do revolves around what she needs, what’s best for her.”
The overwhelming joy in his voice filled a dark space in Eden’s heart and made her smile.
“I couldn’t manage like I do without my family, though. They watch her when I’m on the road. They help me get her to special classes while I’m at practice. They come to my place and tuck her into bed for my home games. I cover the mornings and get her to school, and we spend most weekends together, depending on my schedule.”
“Gabe said something about your contract coming to an end? What’s going to happen then?”
“Yeah.” He sighed the word, heavy with stress. “This is the last year in my contract with the Rough Riders. I’m at a mid-level age and have a lot of good years left. But the better I play this year, the better my options for the coming years will be. And what I really want is an eight-year contract with the Rough Riders. If I can’t get that, I’d take one with the Capitals, because my priority is to stay here so Lily can stay close to our family.”
“What if you don’t get that?”
He sucked air between his teeth and shook his head. “I can’t think like that right now. I’m livin’ like I’m going to keep doin’ what I’m doin’ until I’m not doin’ it anymore.”
He took a few turns on streets in an upscale neighborhood with large houses on spacious, thickly treed lots, then finally started up a long driveway. “Here we are.”
The house at the end of the drive, nestled into a gentle hill, was the stuff Architectural Digest covers were made of. Multiple levels, lots of glass, a curved main stairway, and double, heavily carved, wooden entry doors reminded Eden of the homes she used to breeze in and out of without noticing all the gorgeous details. Exterior lights, landscaping, and stone pavers created an elegant yet calming welcome.
Eden must have missed something somewhere. A house like this here cost at least a million if not more. “This is the house you bought for them?”
“Mmm-hmm. Wait till you see the back porch. Amazing view of the Potomac. I could sit out there all day.”
He came to a stop in front of the triple garage.
“Didn’t you say you used your first professional paycheck for this?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t making as much then, but the signing bonus helped.”
She pried her gaze off the house and looked at Beckett with her mouth open but thoughts jumbling. “Hockey players must make a hell of a lot more than I realized.”
He met her gaze with a look she couldn’t read. A little amused. A little questioning. Maybe a little sarcastic? “You don’t know how much I make?”
She frowned. “How would I know that?”
“It’s public. All you have to do is google my name and NHL contract and you’ll have as many details about my hockey contract as I do.”
“That’s stupid. Why is it public? It’s no one else’s business.”
His mouth kicked up in the cutest lopsided smile she’d ever seen. He laughed and leaned over the console, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. His were warm and gentle and felt so good on hers. She wanted to sink in and stay there. When he pulled back, he met her eyes and murmured, “Have I mentioned how crazy I am about you?”
Eden’s heart twisted. Emotions and logic tangled. And she groaned.
Beckett’s grin sparkled in the darkness. “You’re crazy about me too.” He kissed her again. “Come on,” he cajoled in that low sexy voice that made heat burn between her legs. “Admit it.”
“Pffft.”
He kissed her again, cupping her head in that way that made her feel precious. Opening his mouth over hers and pressing hers open. Sliding his tongue inside and stroking hers until she sighed out a moan and leaned into him.
“Mmm.” He pulled out of the kiss slowly, leaving Eden a little dizzy and a lot hungry. “Let’s get inside before I change my mind about this visit and take you back home.”
He turned and got out of the car, leaving Eden with a fresh batch of what-the-hell-am-I-doing nerves bubbling to the surface. This was a futile effort. She didn’t want serious. She didn’t want attachments or commitments. She certainly didn’t want a freaking family.
A flutter of panic attacked her stomach as he opened her door.
When she turned toward him, he stroked a hand down her arm. “Hey, relax. Really, this doesn’t have to be a big deal. How many places have you walked into, interacted with people, and walked out? Hundreds? Thousands?”
“Not thousands.” She breathed deep and forced a smile. “But you’re right. I’m fine.”
On the walk to the door, he curled his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “Be forewarned, it will be noisy and chaotic. My mother will try to feed you, and my father will try to ply you with alcohol.”
She was smiling when she walked up the elegant curved front steps. Before they reached the front door, a squeal eked out from somewhere inside, followed by a chorus of giggles.
Beckett grinned at her. “Told ya.”
She laughed, but a knot had already formed in her gut and her hands curled into fists.
He leaned forward to open the door, and his smile turned smirkish. “I’m also going to get the ‘Beckett Thomas’ as soon as I walk in.”
The door opened, and a soft ping sounded somewhere close, signaling their entrance. He pressed a hand low on her back and led her into the foyer.
He’d barely closed the door when a woman yelled, “Beckett Thomas…”
She sounded older than Sarah, and her tone clearly indicated he was in trouble.
Beckett sighed, then yelled, “Sarah, you’re such a tattle—”
“Daddy!” The excited voice came along with Lily sprinting along the marble tile, full speed.
Beckett crouched and caught his daughter the same way he had inside the tunnel earlier, smoothly, easily. He tossed her in the air, drawing a round of giggles, then settled her in his arms.
Lily pushed her hair from her eyes and looked at Eden with a smile like pure sunshine. “Hi,” she said. “I saw you at Daddy’s game.”
“Lily, this is my friend, Eden.”
“Hi, Lily.” Eden smiled, and now that Beckett was holding her, Eden could see some of him in her pretty face. She had his dark eyes, her face the same soft triangular shape. And good Lord, but she was beautiful. Her dusty blonde curls were a wild halo around her head, and her little teeth gleamed when she grinned.
The pain Eden expected to stab her heart didn’t come. The knot in her gut was still there, but her attention was diverted from the discomfort by a woman’s voice moving through an adjacent room Eden couldn’t see.
“Don’t even think about grabbing her and jumping in the car, Beckett.” Her voice was stern but not mean. “We need to have a—” She came around the corner and into a wide arched opening. Her gaze settled on Beckett, then jumped to Eden. “Oh.” She stopped, planted her hands on her hips, and tilted her head. “Hello.”
Eden smiled at the woman. She was pretty, like her daughter, with a short, layered head of silvered gold hair and light eyes. Which might explain Lily’s blonde hair. “Hi.”
Sarah appeared behind her mother, darted a look at Eden, then grinned at Beckett, shaking her head. “Oh, man. You slithered out of that one.” She looked at Eden. “He owes you.”
“He certainly does,” his mother agreed with a less than pleased look at Beckett before offering her hand to Eden. “I’m Tina.”
“Eden. Nice to meet you.”
The two other girls who’d been with Sarah earlier in the evening drifted in, and she introduced her daughters as Rachel and Amy.
“Sarah tells me you’re an EMT,” Tina said.
“What’s an EMT?” Lily wanted to know.
“Eden works on an ambulance,” Beckett told her. “She helps sick and hurt people and takes them to the hospital.”
His mother was still holding Eden’s hand when she darted a look at Beckett, then told Eden, “I’ll bet he didn’t tell you I was a nurse for twenty years.”
“Oh…no, he…” Eden glanced at Beckett and found him grinning. Grinning ear to ear with a glint of I told you so.
His mother drew Eden’s hand through the bend of her elbow and walked her through the foyer into a short hallway. “Spent a few years in the ER too. We haven’t put dinner away yet. Have you eaten?”
“Actually, no, but I’m okay. I’m not really—”
“Nonsense. We have plenty. Do you like pie? I made an apple cranberry.” She grinned, and Eden instantly knew where Beckett’s smile had come from. “I’m taking cooking classes at Sur la Table, so I’m always using the family as guinea pigs.”
“Don’t let her fool you.” A man’s deep voice drew Eden’s attention to the kitchen, and her assessment of the home’s value rose from a million dollars to two million. It was huge and stunning. Sparkling quartz countertops, top-of-the-line stainless appliances, hardwood floors, rich cabinetry, and high ceilings. “She’s an amazing cook.” Beckett’s father was a few inches shorter than his son and roughly the same age as his wife. And Beckett had gotten his dark eyes. “And you’ll need wine to go with the pie. Do you prefer a dessert wine or something different? We’ve got a nice Bordeaux and an unoaked chardonnay I just opened.”
Before Eden could answer or introduce herself, Lily said, “Grandma, I want pie.”
She sounded so different from when they’d walked in, Eden turned to look at the little girl. She had her head tucked under Beckett’s chin, and she yawned. He swayed gently the way so many parents did unconsciously. The image was worthy of a Sports Illustrated cover highlighting an article on the human side of NHL’s most brutal players.
Every soft emotion inside Eden surged to the surface. Her heart tugged and twisted.
“Sounds like someone didn’t eat any dinner,” Beckett said.
“I did too.” Her pathetic attempt at arguing drew smiles all around the kitchen.
“Barely,” Tina said, with an overwhelming amount of love in her eyes. “Want to try to get a few more bites of turkey in? I’ll put whipped cream on your pie.”
Lily groaned.
Beckett chuckled. “I think she’d fall asleep face-first in that whipped cream before she got any into her mouth.”
“Crash and burn,” Sarah said, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table and taking one of her daughters into her lap. “Dad, I could use a hot chocolate and Baileys.” She lifted her brows at Eden. “Does that sound good? I bet you could use a drink. Beckett has that effect on people.”
Eden and Tina laughed. Beckett rolled his eyes. His father grinned.
“That sounds amazing.” Eden glanced at Beckett’s father. “If you’re making them. Otherwise, any wine is perfectly fine.”
“Irish hot chocolate for the ladies,” he said, and extended his hand across the sparkling black quartz countertop. “Jake.”
She took his hand in a firm shake. “Eden.”
“Welcome, Eden.”
She’d barely released Jake’s hand before Tina pulled out a chair for her. “Come sit. I’d love to hear about your job. Which ambulance company do you work for?”
All eyes were focused on Eden, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so self-conscious. She’d changed into jeans and a sweater and pulled her hair up into a bun before getting in Beckett’s car. She’d even spritzed on some five-year-old perfume. But no matter how she packaged herself, she knew inside, she was subpar tonight.
Sarah’s daughters returned to the living room, where a movie played. And Eden managed the casual chat about her work and Tina’s nursing. Then Beckett opened the door to a path leading down the rabbit hole.
“Eden’s in paramedic school,” he said, easing into a seat with Lily on his lap.
His mother gasped with pleasure, and her bright eyes sparkled with approval. “Really. How exciting. What made you want to go into the field?”
The question hit her sideways. It wasn’t one she’d ever been asked and one she hadn’t anticipated. “Um, a while back, I was in an accident, and the paramedic who was there really made the situation a life-changing experience. It made me want to be there for other people.”
She glanced at Beckett, hoping he’d pick up the conversation and steer it somewhere else so she didn’t have to answer any more detailed questions about the accident. Otherwise, she’d have to start lying, and she sucked at lying.
He met her eyes and added, “And the program is through Johns Hopkins.”
She offered a grateful smile, which he returned.
“Oh my,” Tina said, taken aback. “That program only takes the best. Your parents must be so proud. Where are you from, Eden?”
Criminy. This was why she stuck with school and work. Because conversations with new acquaintances led to a past she wanted to forget.
“California.” She smiled for Beckett’s mother. “Unfortunately, my parents and I aren’t close like you and your children.”
Her brow fell. “Oh, what a shame.” She shook her head and patted Eden’s arm. “Their loss, sweetheart. You’re delightful.”
Heaviness weighted her stomach, and darkness crept into her heart. She’d been trained and groomed to be delightful. And, yes, she could pull out those traits and manners at will. Yet it had never been enough for her own parents. And her continued attempts to please them had ended up costing her own daughter’s life. So she didn’t feel the least bit delightful. She felt like a complete fraud in the face of authentically wonderful people.
But she offered a humble “Thank you.”
“Son,” Jake called from the kitchen. “What can I get you?”
“A brush.” The tinge of frustration in his voice drew Eden’s gaze. “And some scissors. What the heck did you women do to her hair this time?”
“No, Daddy.” Lily slapped both her hands on top of her head, blocking his fingers before he could take out the first brightly colored elastic. “I like them.”
“Okay, okay. I won’t steal them, baby. Just fix them before you fall asleep. Otherwise, you’re going to wake up with your hair in knots around the rubber bands. Remember the last time that happened?”
Lily whimpered, and her hands slid from her head and dropped to her lap in an exhausted gesture.
Beckett grinned at Eden, and the pure, raw joy shining through hit hard enough to topple her. “Sixty to zero in three-point-two seconds.”
Despite the dual fists gripping Eden’s gut and heart, she laughed.
“Grandma, can I have pie? Please?” Lily asked, half plea, half whine, making everyone in the room smile.
“One piece of turkey?” Tina asked sweetly.
Lily huffed, and her face fell into a pout. “Fine.”
Laughter Eden didn’t know was coming rolled out of her, drawing everyone’s gaze. She covered her mouth. “Sorry. That was all Beckett right there.”
Which made the rest of his family laugh. And when she glanced at Beckett, the look on his face, one of raw affection and open joy, flipped Eden’s stomach inside out.
They stayed there in the kitchen, chatting about Eden’s future plans, Sarah’s teaching, Jake’s coaching, and all the kids until the glasses were empty, the pie was long gone, and Lily was asleep in Beckett’s arms.
Eden had fallen far too comfortably into a little fantasy of what it would be like to belong to a family like this when Beckett said, “It’s getting late. I’d better get Eden home and this little one into bed.”
Hello, reality. Hello, dingy basement, gunfire alarm at two a.m., invisible personal walls at school and work, and long hours alone, cramming information into her brain.
This wasn’t her family. She didn’t belong. The clock was about to strike midnight, and Eden’s Porsche was about to turn back into the subway.
At the front door, his family surprised Eden yet again by not just saying good-bye but hugging her. Even Beckett’s father tossed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a quick squeeze and a quiet “Keep him in line, now.”
They bundled up, and Eden followed Beckett to his car. He opened the back hatch and dragged out a booster seat with one hand, Lily securely tucked close to his body with the other. While he positioned the chair in the backseat on the passenger’s side. Beckett belted Lily in, tucking her blanket beside her. Eden crossed her arms against the cold and watched him, admiring how careful and gentle and sweet he was with her.
When he closed the door and turned to Eden, she said, “Can you drop me off at the Foggy Bottom Metro? I can’t stand the idea of you having Lily in the car when you’re driving through my neighborhood. I know I joke about how bad it is, but I’m very aware of the crime, and you are a prime carjacking target. Even the thought of—”
He cupped her face in both hands and kissed her. Eden suddenly couldn’t focus on anything but the warmth of his lips. The feel of his fingers stroking her cheeks.
“Mmm.” She curled her fingers in the front of his jacket and leaned into him. God, this was so dangerous. He was so dangerous.
He pulled out of the kiss slowly and just enough to whisper, “I want you so bad, I haven’t been able to think about anything else for the last half hour.”
Then he kissed her again, hungrily, stroking his tongue into her mouth. She opened to take him, to give back, instantly flooded with need. He tilted his head and took the kiss deeper while covering one of her hands with his and guiding it to his erection. The feel of him, hot and hard beneath his slacks, made Eden ache to feel him filling her, and she automatically tightened her fingers around him. Beckett moaned into her mouth.
Fuck, this man was such a rush.
He pulled out of the kiss and looked down at her with that lusty sparkle in his eyes. “I don’t plan on driving through your neighborhood. The talk about taking you home was for my parents. I plan on taking you straight to my bed after Lily’s all tucked into hers.”
After the painful, tumultuous day, Eden melted at the thought of being wrapped in Beckett’s arms, warmed by his body, and driven to levels of pleasure that made her mind stop—stop thinking, stop worrying, stop second-guessing.
But by the time he’d helped her into the passenger’s seat, her brain had cleared, and before she could say anything, he closed her door and walked around to the driver’s side. She waited until he’d started the car before she said, “Honestly, there is nowhere I’d rather spend the night than in your bed, but I’m not sleeping with you while Lily’s home.”
He glanced over his shoulder to back from the drive and lifted one brow at her. “And why not?”
“What do you mean why not? Do you always have sex in your house when your daughter’s in the next room?”
“She’s not in the next room, she’s all the way across the apartment in her own suite. And you’re the first woman I’ve brought home since I took full custody of Lily. Besides, couples have sex with children in the house all the time. How do you think siblings are made?”
She opened her mouth but came up short on an argument. He had a point.
“You haven’t had much kid experience,” he said, his tone both sweet and amused. He reached across the console and squeezed her thigh. “She’s been playing with her cousins all day. She’s not going to wake again until I prod her for school in the morning. Not when I carry her from the car. Not when I change her into pajamas. Not when I tuck her in. She’s out for the night. When she stays with my sister or my mom, she’s sometimes restless, but when she’s home with me, she never wakes at night. Believe me, I’ve done this a hundred times over the last year. I know.”
Eden turned and glanced back at Lily. The occasional streetlight illuminated her sweet face through the window. “She’s amazing, Beckett.”
“Thanks, I agree. She means everything to me.”
“And your family…” She pulled her gaze off Lily and looked at Beckett’s profile as he drove. “I can see why you turned out so great.”
“I wasn’t always great. In fact, I was an egotistical ass my first few years on the Rough Riders. Immature with lots of money and everyone telling me what hot shit I was. I was a little prick, and too busy to see my family much, which made it even worse because they’re the ones who keep me grounded.” He shot a grin her way. “And speaking of my family, they loved you, just like I said they would.”
“They’re so sweet.” She reached out and stroked his cheek with the backs of her fingers. “I’m sure they love all the girls you bring to meet them.”
He covered her hand with his and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss. “Baby, you’re the first woman I’ve brought home since I learned to drive in high school.”
“What?” Her heart made a funny skip. “Why?”
They started over the bridge, and the moonlight on the Potomac reflected into the car, illuminating Beckett’s handsome face.
He shrugged. “I was too busy with hockey in high school to have a girlfriend. Was drafted into the NHL before my twentieth birthday. Was wild for years. And this job, it makes relationships hard. Hard to find and hard to keep. I never wanted to go through the headaches I’d seen other guys go through.”
“Like what?”
“Fighting, affairs, separations, divorces, child custody battles, though I got sucked into that last one anyway. The stress of the job, the ups and downs of the season, the job insecurity, the constant travel and the moods that come with it all, they’re rough on everyone. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no better job in the world for me, and it has its perks—the money, the fame, the sheer fun of playing hockey. But honestly, the rest of it sucks. And it especially sucks for the families of the players.”
Eden was thinking about all that when Beckett passed the Metro station. “Beckett—”
“I’m telling you, she’s not going to wake up.”
“If she does, I’m leaving.”
He shot a fiery grin at her and lowered his voice. “Can’t wait to get you naked.”
