Thursday was one long blur of dance rehearsals, lighting cues and last-minute run-throughs. Without a minute to spare, I was very glad that I had my plan for Friday’s dress rehearsal set up.
The rehearsal, in front of the whole school, was a nightmare. During the opening scene Byron, who was playing the messenger, forgot his lines and spent the rest of the scene hiding behind a tree. By the time Hayden’s and my big moment arrived, two actors had tripped over the oriental rug that was part of the southern plantation house’s furnishings, the cocktail singer’s backing music had got stuck, and Jeffrey had pulled out a real knife for his law-enforcement scene. The audience’s enthusiasm didn’t seem affected by the mess-ups, however. The air was virtually humming with anticipation as the kiss scene approached. I could see half the cast grinning in the wings. By the time Hayden had one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek, they looked like Cheshire cats.
Hayden gazed deep into my eyes exactly like we’d planned.
Was it my imagination or was the whole auditorium leaning forward expectantly?
I gazed back at Hayden, but instead of saying, ‘I love you with so much of my heart that nothing is left to protest’, I narrowed my eyes and hissed, ‘Kill Claudio’ as menacingly as possible.
Hayden’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he managed to go seamlessly into his next line as someone in the audience yelled, ‘What happened to the kiss?’
At the cast meeting an hour later, Mr Peterman was asking the same thing.
‘Not only were the scene changes a shambles and people completely negligent about their upcoming cues!’ he shouted, pacing up and down in front of us. ‘But the Beatrice–Benedick scene, which should have been a saving grace in this joke of a dress rehearsal, also died an excruciating death.’
Mr Peterman stopped his frantic pacing and spun around to face me. ‘Kill Claudio? What happened to the kiss?’
‘I panicked,’ I said in my best apologetic tone. Part of me really did feel sorry. ‘I forgot my line.’
‘You didn’t think it might have something to do with telling Benedick you loved him?’ Mr Peterman said. ‘As you were heading towards a kiss?’ He hissed the word like a cobra spitting venom.
‘Aurora was doing her best,’ Hayden said. ‘Everyone forgets a line at least once.’
He looked sympathetically at me and I felt a twinge of guilt at his unfailing belief in my honesty.
‘Well, I think it was pretty weak of you to just give up on the kiss, Paris.’ Benjamin arched an eyebrow. ‘Being the male lead is all about taking charge. You should have just kissed her.’
‘Being an actor,’ Hayden replied archly, ‘is about authenticity. Don’t you think it might have seemed a bit odd to kiss Beatrice after she’d made a murderous statement?’
‘You know what I think?’ Jeffrey piped up. ‘It’s weird that Aurora could forget the kiss. I mean, who forgets a piece of action like that? Maybe it was intention—’
Thankfully Mr Peterman interrupted before Jeffrey could finish. ‘That’s enough!’ he bellowed. ‘Let me just say one thing. Tonight is opening night. And NOTHING is to go wrong. NOTHING, do you hear me?’
I nodded, feeling sick. It was obvious that if I pulled the ‘Kill Claudio’ trick again, Mr Peterman was going to have my head. Plus, it was highly unlikely that anyone would believe I could forget the same line twice. My actions were already being called into question by Jeffrey, who wasn’t the most alert person. With minus seven hours to go before our opening-night performance, what on earth could I do?
Alex’s cool voice broke into my thoughts. ‘I think we need a good party once this thing is over.’
Jelena looked at him, her eyes gleaming. ‘I could arrange a cast and crew party for Saturday night.’
Alex smiled his Mr Perfect smile. ‘Babe, you are one cool woman.’
‘I know,’ Jelena said. ‘Mr Peterman, could we have a cast party in the gym? I’ll do all the organising, of course.’
Mr Peterman was slumped in his director’s chair. ‘While Rome was burning, Nero played,’ he muttered, shaking his head.
Obviously he’d progressed from angry to morose.
‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ Jelena said, and winked at Alex.
‘Oh, Mr Peterman?’ Benjamin called out in his deep stage voice. ‘I have a suggestion.’
‘Yes, Benjamin?’ Mr Peterman’s voice was weary.
Benjamin turned to face me. ‘Aurora needs brighter lighting whenever she’s onstage. You know, so she can shine like a star.’
I stared at him in shock.
‘Do you think we could have this all wrong?’ I asked, feeling strangely disembodied as Jelena fussed with my hair and Sara straightened my necklace.
‘All wrong?’ Jelena looked at me like I was crazy. ‘He said it loud and clear. Aurora needs to “shine like a star”.’
‘Just like in the poem,’ Sara chimed in.
‘The poem’s phrase was “she’s like the stars”, not “she needs to shine like a star”,’ I said.
‘She shines like the stars, she is a star, same difference.’ Jelena appraised me from head to foot.
‘Oh, I can’t believe that Benjamin Zane is your secret admirer!’ Lindsay beamed at me. ‘How exciting!’
‘But why would he announce it in front of everyone? Why not tell me in private?’ I said.
‘He’s an actor,’ Lindsay said. ‘He likes having an audience.’
But if he liked an audience, why had Benjamin been a secret admirer? Why hadn’t he just wooed me publicly from the beginning? Something felt odd about the whole thing.
‘Cass?’ I asked. ‘What do you think?’
Cassie’s brow creased. ‘His words were very similar to the poem. And he’s artistic and literary, so he’d be able to write it. He also comes from a well-off family, so he’d be able to send a bouquet as expensive as the one you received.’ She paused. ‘I don’t know. I’d started to think it was someone else.’
‘Who?’ I looked at her, confused. She hadn’t mentioned any suspicions.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said quickly. ‘I guess I had it all wrong.’
‘I think the way things have worked out is perfect,’ Jelena said. ‘Benjamin is rich, good-looking and talented. Just think, if his career takes off, you could end up dating a Hollywood actor.’
‘Yeah.’
I couldn’t work out why I wasn’t happy. My secret admirer had turned up and he was a guy half the girls in school would die to go out with.
‘So what are you waiting for?’ Jelena and Sara were looking at me expectantly. ‘Go talk to him!’
‘Now?’ I said. ‘I mean, I have lines to look over and —’
Jelena interrupted my admittedly feeble protests. ‘When else? Do I have to remind you that the Hayden–Aurora kiss is this very evening?’
‘And I just found out that Benjamin’s in his dressing room,’ Sara said. ‘So you’ll be able to talk to him privately. First, though, we should give you some kissing tips.’
‘Start off slowly,’ Jelena said.
‘And softly,’ Lindsay added.
‘If he goes for the tongue —’ Sara started.
‘Tongue?’ The thought of rushing into my first kiss was confronting enough without having to consider Benjamin’s tongue.
‘Guys, she’ll be fine,’ Cassie said. ‘Kissing’s not something that you can work on in theory. What makes a kiss truly great is feeling something for the other person.’
I knew Cassie intended her statement to be reassuring, but I felt even more apprehensive as I headed towards Benjamin’s dressing room. I had no idea how I felt about Benjamin. I thought he was a talented actor. And he did have amazing crystal-blue eyes. But beyond that?
As I reached what had formerly been the supplies cupboard but now had a huge gold star and Benjamin’s name on the door, I paused. Could we have this all wrong? If I’d spent so little time with Benjamin that I’d barely formed an opinion of him, then how could he be so enamoured of me?
Unless it was some kind of love-at-first-sight thing. Maybe he’d taken one look at me and decided that I was his soul mate! Come to think of it, the secret-admirer messages had started not long after we’d begun rehearsing the play. Benjamin had offered to coach me. Maybe that had been his way of suggesting a date!
Maybe he was my secret admirer after all. I owed it to myself to find out.
I knocked tentatively.
‘I’m trying to focus!’ came the exasperated reply.
‘Sorry!’ I yanked my hand away from the door. ‘I’ll … I’ll come back later …’
‘Aurora?’ The door swung open and Benjamin looked out with surprise. ‘You should have said it was you. Come in!’
I paused in the doorway.
‘Well, come on.’ He flashed a set of perfectly straight pearly whites at me. ‘I know why you’re here.’
Well, there was my answer. He’d obviously said the ‘shine like a star’ thing on purpose, knowing that I’d confront him.
‘You do?’ I stepped inside, folding my arms to disguise how my fingers were trembling.
‘Of course.’
He shut the door behind me, accentuating how small the dressing room was. Benjamin and his crystal-blue eyes were now thirty centimetres away from me. I focused on the posters of Laurence Olivier that decorated the walls.
Benjamin looked me square in the eye. ‘It’s about the kiss, isn’t it?’
I gave a jolt. How on earth did he know that I was on a deadline? Sara. Had she said something while finding out he was in his dressing room? I could feel my cheeks going pink.
‘You shouldn’t be embarrassed,’ Benjamin said, like he was reading my mind. He moved closer to me. ‘Not at all.’
His voice was very low and his hand was heading for my cheek.
Was he going to kiss me now? In this supply closet? I so didn’t feel ready. Maybe I could put this off, until half an hour or so before the Hayden–Aurora liplock was meant to happen. Then again, how much more ready was I going to feel in a few hours?
‘Hayden’s the one that should be embarrassed.’
Benjamin’s hand missed my cheek. I turned to see him grab a comb from the shelf behind me.
‘Hayden?’ I repeated. Why should Hayden be embarrassed about the fact that I’d never been kissed? What on earth did it have to do with him?
Benjamin shrugged. ‘He should have just kissed you.’
‘He what?’
I stared at Benjamin. Was he saying that Hayden should have realised I was sweet sixteen and unkissed and put a stop to it? Oh my god. Hayden didn’t know, did he? How could he? But if Benjamin, who hardly knew me, was up to speed on my unkissedness, then Hayden had to know.
And why was my secret admirer all for Hayden kissing me first? My head spun.
‘Hayden is far from being the lead actor that this production needs,’ Benjamin said, running the comb through his ebony hair and looking in the mirror. I vaguely noticed that he’d strung little lights all around it.
‘The line you forgot was so close to the kiss that Hayden should have just gone directly into it,’ Benjamin went on.
I stared at him, suddenly comprehending. He’d been referring to the Beatrice–Benedick kiss, not my own love life!
Benjamin shook his head and examined his reflection carefully. ‘I have no idea how Mr Peterman could have cast him as Benedick instead of me. Anyway, do you want me to run through the scene with you? I can show you some great techniques to create emotion. On my most recent carpet-cleaning ad I had to be dismayed at a wine spill, and the director said it was the most emotionally honest reaction to a stain he’d ever seen.’
I felt so confused. Benjamin wanted to give me acting tips? I’d thought by now he’d have gone into a spiel about how long he’d loved me and why. Well, he might have all the time in the world, but I didn’t. I had only a few scarce hours to get to know him and force him (nicely) to kiss me.
‘Benjamin, did you write me a poem?’ I blurted.
He turned to face me. ‘A what?’
I had to repeat it?
‘A poem,’ I managed to squeak out.
Benjamin raised an eyebrow. Was he affronted by my boldness?
‘Aurora, I’m an actor, not a poet. I don’t write lines, I speak them.’
‘So at no time in the last week or so did you write a poem?’ I repeated the question slowly and carefully, in case he’d somehow misunderstood.
‘No.’ He turned back to the mirror and ran a finger down his cheek, scrutinising his skin. ‘Do you want to run through the scene?’
So Benjamin wasn’t my secret admirer. But what about the ‘shine like a star’ comment?
‘It’s just that I got this poem,’ I continued. ‘And you said something really similar to one of the lines when you were talking to Mr Peterman — that I should shine like a star?’
Benjamin nodded. ‘Yeah, I think that Mr Peterman should put the spotlight on you, to take the focus off Hayden’s inadequacies.’
All at once I could see that any signs of interest Benjamin had shown in me — like wanting to be Hayden’s stunt double in the waltz scene — were linked to his rivalry with Hayden.
I pretended to look at my watch. ‘Oh! Is that the time? I just remembered I have a dress fitting.’
Benjamin wasn’t listening. He picked up two head shots of himself — one front on, one in profile. ‘Could you give me an opinion on these? Which do you think is better?’
‘The one on the right.’ I pointed at the shot where he was posed chin in hand, à la Rodin’s The Thinker. ‘It’s very … commanding.’
Benjamin looked thoughtfully at the head shot. ‘You know, you’re right. Thanks. I’m going to be signing them at a booth outside the auditorium this afternoon.’
I realised how silly I’d been to think Benjamin might be my secret admirer. He had no time for a girlfriend; all his energy was devoted to self-promotion. He wasn’t a bad guy, just very … focused. The only interest he had in me was as teacher to pupil.
‘You know, it’s funny,’ he said, turning his gaze from the photo to me. ‘You and I have way better chemistry than you and Hayden do. Are you sure you don’t want to run through that scene? I’m no kissing wimp.’
I gave him a no-thanks wave and shut the door behind me.
Better to be safe than sorry.
‘He said you and he have great chemistry?’ Jelena shook her head as I nervously hopped around backstage. It was less than an hour till curtain call, and not only was I on the verge of making my stage debut, but I also had no feasible way of preventing the kiss.
‘You had a clear opportunity for a date there,’ Jelena continued as she checked off items on the props table.
‘Jelena!’ I cried. ‘He wasn’t my secret admirer! I can’t go accepting dates with whoever.’
‘You could,’ Jelena replied, counting tennis racquets. ‘In my opinion, this secret admirer of yours is a spoilsport. If he’s not going to make an appearance, then he should deal with the fact that you’re going to date available men.’
My mouth fell open.
Sara, wearing part of her Don John costume — a leather jacket and a boy’s black wig — rushed up. ‘Was it amazing?’
‘Was what amazing?’ I rubbed my temples.
‘Nothing was amazing,’ Jelena said. ‘Benjamin wasn’t the stupid secret admirer.’
‘I hate to say it, Aurora,’ Sara examined her wig in the full-length mirror, ‘but I don’t think the secret admirer’s going to be making an appearance tonight.’
I tried to push down my panic. ‘What am I going to do then? The kiss is coming up and I’ve run out of options. The way things are looking, I’m going to have to knock over the holy-water font again.’
‘Sorry to tell you, but the font isn’t budging from its spot,’ Jelena said. ‘It’s got a good fifteen screws in it. I had to come up with all these ideas for using it as a permanent prop — like making it a birdbath in the orchard scenes.’
‘You see? What am I going to do?’
‘I’ll tell you what you’re going to do,’ Jelena replied, looking completely frustrated with me. ‘You’re going to go and get your make-up done and leave me to focus.’
Half an hour later, I had fifties-style pale pink lips and black eyeliner, but the agitation was still prickling me. I went in search of Cassie, and finally found her running through a last-minute order-of-backdrop schedule with two crew members.
‘Cass!’ I dashed towards her in a Chicken-Little-the-sky-is-falling panic.
Cassie, like a true bestie, immediately turned all her attention to me.
‘I’ve run out of ideas,’ I told her. ‘Benjamin wasn’t my secret admirer, I’m still unkissed, and I’m looking at having to use the “Kill Claudio” line again.’
Cassie’s eyes widened at the frenzied bombardment of bad news.
‘I know, I know!’ I continued. ‘I feel terrible about messing with the play yet again, but if Mr Peterman would just listen —’
‘There’s no way he’s going to let you get away with skipping the kiss again,’ Cassie interrupted. ‘Not on opening night. He’ll use the megaphone to demand that Hayden goes for it.’
‘I doubt he’d go that far.’
‘He’s not a rational man right now, Aurora,’ Cassie said, sounding like Jelena. ‘The whole kiss thing could push him over the edge.’ She placed a hand on my arm. ‘You’ve got to talk to Hayden about this. Just explain it to him.’
‘Talk to Hayden?’ I repeated in a strangled voice.
Cassie smiled. ‘You guys are friends now.’
‘We’re not close enough for that.’
‘Look, I know Hayden,’ Cassie said. ‘If you explain it to him clearly, I’m sure he’ll have no problem forgoing the kiss. Then even if Mr Peterman goes for the megaphone option, Hayden won’t comply. He’ll probably think it’s sweet. I know! Tell him about the Sleeping Beauty thing!’
I stared at her, horrified. Tell him about the Sleeping Beauty thing? Was she out of her mind?
‘All actors to the left wing! I repeat, all actors assemble for pre-show cast check!’ Mr Peterman bellowed through the megaphone.
As Mr Peterman led us through vocal warm-ups, Cassie’s suggestion played through my head. Much as I hated to admit it, it did make sense in one respect. The only sure-fire way to prevent the kiss was to get Hayden to promise not to go for it.
As I crossed the room to where Hayden was looking over one of Jelena’s scene prompts, he gave me a huge smile. My vocal cords seized up.
‘How are you doing?’ he asked.
‘Fiii …’ My vocal cords were still on strike. My resolve to get this talk over with was nowhere to be found. Maybe I’d wait till just before the actual scene to discuss the whole please-don’t-smooch-me thing.
‘I’m buzzing!’ Hayden said, and gestured for me to follow him to the stage curtain. He pulled the heavy velvet aside slightly. ‘Look. It’s a full house.’
I gaped at the rows and rows of faces stretching across the auditorium. There was a roar of sound as people found their seats and consulted the programs that Cassie had designed. For the first time it hit me that these people had paid to see the production. And in less than ten minutes, I was going to be up there in front of all those expectant faces. My heart plummeted fifty storeys.
Hayden dropped the curtain and took in what I presumed to be my expression of blatant terror. ‘Uh-oh, I probably shouldn’t have shown you that. I’ve made you nervous, haven’t I?’
I nodded like a still-buzzing electroshock-therapy patient.
I finally found my voice. ‘It sounds stupid, but I’d sort of forgotten that all these people were going to be here. Well, not forgotten — that’s idiotic. I mean, all our practices and today’s dress rehearsal sort of felt like play-acting — not that serious. But this,’ I gestured towards the masses gathering behind the stage curtain, ‘this is the real thing. Everyone here is expecting a great show and I’m so not going to deliver.’
‘Aurora, your natural vivacity comes through onstage,’ Hayden said. ‘All you need to do to be truly great up there is relax!’
‘You think?’
‘I know!’ he said. ‘Every actor gets nervous. I’m shaking in my shoes right now.’
‘You are not!’ I said sceptically.
‘I am!’ He grinned. ‘Do you want to feel my heart racing?’ He pulled my hand onto his chest.
My own chest began thumping faster as I stood there with my hand over Hayden’s briskly beating heart. ‘Okay, I believe you.’
Hayden lifted my hand from his chest, but instead of dropping it, he held it in his and gave it a squeeze. A glimmer of reassurance appeared. We stood there, hand in hand, as the rest of the cast assembled in the wings. It struck me that we were feeding the school rumour mill with more juicy gossip, but, strangely enough, I didn’t care.
As the auditorium lights dimmed and Mr Peterman gestured for us to take our places onstage, Hayden gave me a gentle push. ‘Go get ’em, Princess.’
Then the curtain was up and the stage lights were on and it had begun.
‘I learn in this letter than Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina,’ David as Leonato said, remembering his line this time. He broke into a smile and I relaxed slightly.
As the scene continued, I found myself getting caught up in this world of the 1950s. Claire, sitting beside me in a pink and white polka-dot sundress and ballet flats, really was my innocent cousin, Hero. As we sat amongst the cumquat trees that Jelena had wrangled out of the local nursery, it felt just like we were having a picnic in the grounds of a southern plantation. Suddenly I was living the lines, not just saying them.
At the end of the scene, I floated back into the wings.
‘What are you dillydallying for?’ Jelena grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the costume department. ‘Have you forgotten that you’ve got to don a ball gown before your next scene?’
Lindsay stood waiting with an amazing creation in her arms. I gasped as I took in the strapless bodice sprinkled with tiny crystal beads, the narrow waist with its thick red satin sash, the longest, fullest taffeta skirt I’d ever seen. Thin red ribbon edged each of the skirt’s tiers. This was the first time I’d seen the dress, as it had been still under construction until late this afternoon.
‘Lindsay!’ I gasped as she began zipping me into it. ‘You created this?’
‘You like it?’ She smiled modestly as she changed my wrist-length gloves to elbow-length crystal-detailed ones.
‘Like it? Linds, it’s amazing! It’s like a Dior or something!’
‘I keep telling her that her career in fashion is in the bag,’ Tyler said proudly as he handed me a pair of red peep-toed heels.
I smiled as I sat down to slip them on. Lindsay and the newly devoted Tyler (who’d barely left the costume department all week aside from last-minute runs to the sewing store) were back on track.
‘It’s totally in the bag,’ I said as I stood up and took in my appearance in the mirror. The dress sparkled in the light, cascading down my body in perfect lines. ‘How do I look?’
As I spun around from the mirror, Hayden walked in. He stopped in his tracks and stared.
Lindsay, Tyler and Sara all stopped what they were doing and looked at Hayden. The silence was deafening. For some reason, I suddenly really cared about Hayden’s reply to the question I’d unintentionally asked him.
His eyes took me in for what seemed like an eternity. ‘You look exquisite,’ he said.
His reverent tone made something inside me start shaking. I took a step and one of my heels wobbled dangerously.
Hayden took my arm and we swept by Lindsay, Tyler and Sara. I didn’t dare look back, as I knew Sara would be feigning a faint and mouthing the word ‘Hot’.
Hayden stopped in the wings and stared at me again. ‘Aurora, I need to —’
‘Aurora!’ Lindsay ran after me. ‘We forgot to change your lipstick! It needs to be red to match the dress.’
Lipstick? Oh my god, I’d totally spaced on Operation Stop Kiss! How had that happened?
Hayden’s eyes met mine as Lindsay fussed over my lips and he smiled. Suddenly I knew he wouldn’t make fun of me. Surely I could talk to him now?
But the school orchestra struck up a big-band tune and the moment was lost.
