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How to Keep a Boy from Kissing You: Chapter 27

It’s a Date

‘I can’t believe we only have Monday’s matinée before the play is over,’ Hayden said as we sat eating ice-cream on a bench by the harbour.

‘God, you’re right,’ I exclaimed, my spoon halfway to my mouth. ‘While I was onstage tonight, I was wishing it would never end! I felt so alive.’

‘And excited, right?’ Hayden took a big bite of his hazelnut ice-cream. ‘God, there’s no better feeling. I’m kind of hooked on it.’

‘I was really surprised to feel that way.’ I licked the back of my spoon. ‘I’ve always thought that writing was what made me deliriously happy, but this was pretty close.’

‘You could always combine the two,’ Hayden suggested. ‘Be a playwright. Or a scriptwriter. That way you could write yourself great parts.’

‘Hmm.’ Interesting idea.

‘You could write me a part too.’ Hayden grinned cheekily. ‘You know, hugely spunky guy with a colossal intellect.’

‘Yeah, right, Paris.’ I punched his arm. ‘You’ll be A-list within five years without my help. If I write you a part, you’ll win a damn Academy Award. Just think of what that’ll do to your ego.’

Hayden chased after me with a dripping cone and I ran along the boardwalk shrieking.

‘Thanks for a great evening, Hayden,’ I said with a smile as the cab dropped us off out the front of my house.

‘No problem.’ Hayden’s eyes turned serious. ‘I hope it made you feel a bit better.’

‘It made me feel fantastic.’

Unbelievably, the ice-cream and Hayden’s silly quips had actually made me temporarily forget the whole Mum-no-show thing.

‘Listen, Aurora, about what I was trying to tell you last night …’

‘Yes?’ For some reason I was holding my breath.

Hayden ran a hand through his hair. ‘I was —’

The Parises’ backyard floodlights switched on.

‘Oops,’ Hayden said. ‘Mum’s probably wondering what’s taking me so long. I’d better go. Night, Princess.’

‘Night,’ I replied, and turned up my driveway.

How weird was it that an evening with Hayden had been about a thousand times more enjoyable than any of my dates had been? Maybe it was the knowledge that there’d be no awkward goodbye moment. Though Hayden had looked quite uncomfortable for a moment there. What had he been trying to say? It wasn’t like him to be shy about speaking up.

I stopped short when I saw Ms DeForest’s car in the drive. After our altercation last night, things were likely to be tense. Perhaps the best thing for all of us would be for me to sneak upstairs.

I quietly entered the house and took a careful look around. No-one was in sight. I peeped into the living room for one last check and froze, unable to believe what I was seeing.

Ms DeForest was on her knees in the living room, the lights dimmed, and swinging a long pendulum in front of Snookums. My poor baby sat transfixed by the hypnotic movement, an odd look in his yellow eyes. I felt like I’d stumbled upon a voodoo ritual.

‘You’re hypnotising my cat?’ I shrieked, and before I knew what I was doing, I’d dashed into the room and snatched the pendulum out of Ms DeForest’s fingers.

‘What have you done to him?’ My words were a dazed whisper as Snookums continued to stare, mesmerised, at the pendulum in my right hand.

Ms DeForest’s face was creased with irritation. ‘I’m using an external stimulus to create a more symbiotic relationship between cat and owner.’

‘By hypnosis?’ I snapped my fingers in front of Snookums’s face. He didn’t react.

‘Yes,’ Ms DeForest said firmly. ‘This animal’s behaviour is appalling. Someone should have taken action long ago.’

The NAD entered the lounge room with two cups of tea. ‘Here, Dana. Dandelion for you —’ He froze when he saw Ms DeForest and me in a stand-off.

‘Did you know about this?’ I asked him. ‘That she was in here messing with Snookums’s mind?’

‘Honey, Dana was just trying some behavioural work. I said she could.’

‘You said she could hypnotise him?’ I cried.

‘Hypnotise?’ the NAD repeated, looking bewildered. He turned to Ms DeForest.

‘Kenneth, I was just trying to get him into a state where we could work on his issues.’

‘His issues? He’s a cat, not a psychiatric patient!’ I choked, staring at Snookums. What if he never snapped out of this stupor?

‘Aurora, you’re overreacting.’ The NAD’s voice was stern. ‘Dana said she wasn’t hypnotising him.’

My jaw dropped as the NAD blatantly took Ms DeForest’s side.

‘She had a swinging pendulum!’ I said.

‘It’s for the animal’s benefit,’ Ms DeForest said, taking her tea from the NAD. She looked completely unconcerned about Snookums’s state of paralysis.

‘He was hardly a willing participant.’ My voice quavered.

I dashed out of the room and grabbed a tin of tuna from the cupboard. I raced back to Snookums and waved the opened tin in front of his face. The glazed look in his eyes disappeared. I gave a sigh of relief.

‘I don’t want her near Snookums or Bebe again,’ I said to the NAD as I scooped Snookums up.

‘Aurora! You will not be rude to Dana. And staying up in your room all evening ignoring us isn’t right either.’

‘What are you talking about?’ I stared at him. ‘I only just got in.’

‘You only just got in?’ The NAD looked at his watch. ‘It’s 2 am.’

‘I’m glad to see that you’ve noticed one thing this evening,’ I said, and ran for the stairs.

I’d always been glad that the NAD was so easygoing. But for him to forget about my whereabouts completely — well, it made me feel our relationship was becoming as distant as the one I had with Mum. My chin trembled slightly.

No. I’d worked hard at distracting myself this evening. I wasn’t going to spoil all that now.

I sat down on my window seat and scrutinised Snookums. Thankfully the glazed look in his eyes was gone. From the outside, he looked like his usual furry-faced self. I crossed my fingers that it was the same case on the inside and whatever Ms DeForest had been trying to do had failed.

I stroked Snookums’s head as we sat together on the window seat. Part of me felt that our hug was giving me more comfort than it was him.

I snuck out of the house at an ungodly hour the next morning to avoid a potentially volatile NAD. Before I left, I got out the old safety guard that my mother had used when I was a toddler and barricaded Snookums and Bebe in my room so that they couldn’t roam the house and tempt Ms DeForest into more mind-control experiments.

As I tiptoed past the NAD’s closed bedroom door, I tried not to focus on the fact that he and Ms DeForest had taken a fateful step in their relationship — the sleepover.

I whiled Sunday away browsing through stores. Amid my window-shopping, I made about fifteen calls to my mother’s mobile, hoping she might be able to come to the matinée performance on Monday for the local primary-school kids. But she never picked up.

When the curtain fell on Monday’s performance, any chance of her seeing the play was gone. And I was left with a permanent ache in my chest.

‘I guess it’s back to real life again,’ Jelena said as she began storing props away in big plastic containers.

‘It’s weird that it’s all over,’ I said, watching as the stagehands pulled down bits of the set. ‘No more costumes, no more rehearsals.’

‘No more maniacal Mr Peterman.’ Jelena rolled her eyes.

‘But don’t you think it was worth it?’ I said, helping Lindsay carefully place Beatrice’s ball gown in a dress bag. ‘All the things we wished for actually happened. Sara, you got the part you wanted. Cassie, you and Scott got to know one another.’

And some really unexpected things had eventuated, like Hayden and me becoming friends. Who would have thought?

‘Alex and I got together,’ Jelena added, stacking shoe boxes.

Sara turned away from the mirror. ‘I don’t know if that’s such a great thing.’

‘Excuse me?’ Jelena stopped stacking.

‘I don’t think he’s good for you,’ Sara said. ‘Look at the cast party.’

‘What happened at the cast party?’ I asked.

‘Where were you?’ Sara asked.

‘I went home early.’ I didn’t feel like getting onto the topic of Mum’s no-show.

‘Well, Mr Oh So Smooth snuck a bottle of rum into the party and got completely plastered,’ Sara said. ‘Then he tried to stick a padded bra in Claire’s locker.’

‘What?’ Why was he persecuting Claire? ‘Where did he get a bra?’

‘I don’t know,’ Sara said. ‘But I’m thinking Jelena had something to do with it.’

‘What?’ I stared from Sara to Jelena. ‘You never told me any of this,’ I said to Cassie.

‘It’s news to me,’ Cassie said. ‘I was on the dance floor most of the night with Scott.’

I turned to ask Lindsay, but her eyes were wide. She’d obviously been unaware of what had gone down.

Jelena narrowed her eyes. ‘Sara, of course I didn’t supply him with the bra. I was as surprised as you were when he showed up with it. And he was hardly plastered.’

Sara narrowed her eyes back. ‘If dancing around Claire’s locker with a leopard-print push-up is Alex’s usual sober behaviour, then I’m really worried. Obviously the rum has blurred your memory of the night.’

‘I only had a few sips,’ Jelena said indignantly. ‘I was not drunk.’

Sara shrugged. ‘Well, you didn’t seem like yourself. The Jelena I know wouldn’t have deliberately hurt Claire. And she’d hardly have got involved in such an undignified activity.’

‘You don’t have to date Alex,’ I reminded Jelena. ‘You’ve got masses of admirers, none of whom need to be convinced how cool you are.’

‘Alex is the only one in my league,’ Jelena snapped.

Sara snickered. ‘Oh yeah, he’s in a whole class of his own.’

‘It’s my love life and I’ll date whoever I want.’ Jelena slammed the lid down on a shoe box and stormed off.

Sara rolled her eyes. ‘She won’t hear a word against him. I’m just glad I managed to snatch the bra from Alex before he put it in Claire’s locker. What a jerk.’

‘Let’s change the subject,’ Cassie said. ‘Jelena has a good heart. She’ll come to her senses.’

She and I began helping Lindsay sort through the costume jewellery.

‘I have some news,’ Lindsay said, looking worried. ‘Tyler and I are back together.’

‘Linds, that’s —’

She rushed on before I could say anything more. ‘He was so dedicated to helping me last week, and so sweet, that I fell back in love with him. But don’t worry — we’re not going to get all claustrophobic again. I don’t want to go back to TylerandLindsay. We’re on a trial basis for a while.’

She was obviously afraid that we might disapprove of her decision.

‘That’s great, Linds,’ I said, and meant it wholeheartedly. Tyler’s commitment to assisting Lindsay had turned my opinion of him around.

Cassie threw her arms around Lindsay for a congratulatory hug. I did the same.

‘Tyler will never pull that “I need to soar” line again,’ Sara said, joining the mass embrace.

‘Oh, I wish the play wasn’t over!’ I said. Such great things had come out of it.

‘We’ve got a committed thespian now!’ Hayden said, smiling at me as he entered the room with the holy-water font in his arms. ‘Despite the fact that this thing threatened her life.’

‘Thankfully you saved her.’ Sara winked at him. ‘She owes you a favour now. Maybe dinner.’

‘Sara!’ I mouthed as Hayden walked past us. Even though he and I were friends, I felt embarrassed by her teasing.

‘Dinner sounds great.’ Hayden placed the font down carefully, out of the path of any backstage crew. ‘I’ve finished the DVD for Bebe and Snookums, so why don’t I bring it over tonight? I’ll pick up some Thai food and we can give the movie its premiere.’

‘Let me cook,’ I said. ‘Saving my life renders me grateful enough to get out the pots and pans. I’ll make something Moroccan to go with the savannah scenes.’

‘It’s a date.’ Hayden gave my arm a squeeze as he headed back towards the stage. ‘I’ll see you at seven.’

Sara started a dance of triumph the moment he was out of sight. ‘It’s a date, it’s a date, it’s a date!’

‘Sara, he didn’t mean it like that,’ I protested. ‘He meant to say it’s agreed on.’

‘It’s on, it’s on, it’s on!’ Sara shook Lindsay’s shoulders with delight. ‘I knew it. I’ve been watching you guys the past few days — the chemistry between you has skyrocketed.’

‘Sara, we’ve been playing lovers. Of course we’ve had to create some chemistry.’

‘I’m talking about offstage, not on.’ Sara gave me a knowing look. ‘A romantic clinch is so coming up. I think you’d better set up some candlelight tonight.’

‘Sara, I’ve done everything in my power not to kiss Hayden.’ I turned away from her, trying to hide my warm cheeks. For some reason, thinking of candlelight had brought back how I’d felt as I’d gazed into Hayden’s eyes after the near miss with the holy-water font. ‘Avoiding his lips was a full-scale operation. For the last time, nothing is going to happen with Hayden Paris.’ I said the last words firmly, trying to shake the spacey feeling that had infiltrated my body.

Sara didn’t reply. She’d actually taken heed of my protest.

‘Thank you, you’ve finally listened,’ I said, feeling steadier.

I turned around to see Cassie, Sara and Lindsay staring at the backstage curtain.

‘What are you staring at?’ I asked.

Sara’s face was horrified. ‘I think Hayden was standing there.’

‘I think he overheard,’ Lindsay said.

‘You think or you know?’ I cried.

‘Well, we only saw him when the curtain shifted slightly,’ Cassie said, looking upset. ‘He seemed to be pulling down the orange tree backdrop.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me he was there?’

My words ran through my head: I’ve done everything in my power not to kiss Hayden. I’d be point-blank traumatised if he’d said that about me.

‘You spoke so quickly that it was too late,’ Sara said.

‘He might not have overheard,’ Lindsay said.

Sara shook her head. ‘Linds, her voice was really loud.’

I couldn’t listen any more. I darted towards the stage. I had to explain my words to Hayden. God knows how, but I had to. I couldn’t bear the idea of hurting his feelings.

I pulled back the curtain. Hayden had gone.


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