The house is dark except for one light.
Jameson is still awake.
This lack of sleep will not be good for the healing process. If Janice could see us now, she’d be flipping out. We promised to take care of him and look what’s happened.
Sex videos.
Arrested for rape.
Out till the middle of the night. Poor Jameson didn’t even get any dinner.
I feel terrible and a little scared about what’s going to happen when we get in there. He’s going to want an explanation and I just don’t think we can keep any of this away from him. All the promises I made to Coach and Dad are worth shit.
“Let’s get in there and face the music,” Kyle says as Joshua pulls the car into the driveway.
“I’ll fix him a sandwich and bring it up,” I say. “He must be famished.”
The brothers trudge to the front door like weary soldiers returning from battle, and I trail after them feeling completely exhausted.
It takes me a couple of minutes to make Jameson a replica of the sandwich I half-finished earlier. I dispose of my half-eaten dinner, which has hardened in the air, the corners curling and the ham browning.
Voices are raised as soon as the boys make it up to Jameson’s room. He’s mad as hell but his brothers sound like they’re trying keep things calm. As I make my way up the stairs I can hear Jameson shouting, “Why did nobody tell me? I had a right to know.”
“We didn’t want you to worry. You have to focus on getting better,” Jessie says.
I enter the room behind the wall of man that is my stepbrothers.
“So you all leave and don’t come back until the middle of the night and you expect me to be focusing on getting better. I’ve been worried out of my mind. What the fuck have you been doing?”
There is a long moment of silence and Kyle and Kameron shift their feet uncomfortably. Surely they’re not thinking about keeping this from Jameson too.
I decide I have to step in. “We were at the police station. Jessie was arrested. I had to go down and give a statement to get him released.”
My stepbrothers part, allowing me to walk forward to hand Jameson his food. His expression is fierce; brow furrowed and teeth gritted. He snatches the plate from me and rests it on the bed. He might be angry but he’s hungry too.
Jessie steps forward to explain what happened with Gordon and Kayla. Jameson’s fists ball at his sides, the realization that one of his friends’ jealousy has brought his family so much strife.
“You should have told me. As soon as you found out.”
“We were trying to protect you.” Kyle’s voice is calm and Jameson lets out a long breath.
“Well, I don’t need protecting. What I need is for you to be honest with me about everything. If there is even a chance that there is something else that could add to this mess, you need to let me know. We’ve always been a strong unit because we don’t keep secrets from each other.”
Kameron glances at Kyle, a look passing between them.
Jameson must notice too. “What? What else is there?”
Kyle’s eyes find mine, searching my expression for a clue as to whether I’m comfortable with him telling Jameson, Jessie, and Joshua what happened between us. This is a big risk for him to expose his plan in the midst of so much drama, a plan he doesn’t believe I’ll be willing to go along with.
It would be easier to keep that night a secret. I’m pretty sure neither the twins or I will reveal it to a soul, but the knowledge that we lied to the triplets will always be there between us, festering like a sore. Secrets fracture relationships from the inside out and I don’t want to do that to them…to us. These bonds are too important to risk.
I nod and Kyle’s expression changes from worry to relief. He feels the same way.
“Before Maisie was with Jameson at the party, she was with me and Kameron.”
“With?” Joshua says, looking back and forth between us.
“You know what I mean,” Kyle says exasperatedly.
“With you and Kameron…together?” Jessie asks.
Kyle nods and my cheeks flame with embarrassment. What must they be thinking of me now? That I’m working my way around them all for no good reason other than I’m horny as hell. Are Jessie and Joshua wondering if I would have done the same with them if the video hadn’t been released? Would they even have wanted me to?
“It’s my fault,” Kyle says. “All of this is my fault.”
“How did you work that one out?” Jessie says.
“Because I don’t want us to be separated next year. We’re all going to end up moving on, taken to new places by our careers and forming new relationships with different women. It’s going to mean that this…what we’ve had our whole childhoods, will never be the same again.”
“I don’t like it either,” Joshua says, resting his hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “If we could all stay together…well, I think that’s what we’d all want. But I don’t get what this has to do with Maisie.”
Kyle looks from brother to brother, finding expectant faces. Then his eyes find mine and I manage a small smile. Enough for him to understand that I’m okay with him sharing everything.
“You remember how we all use to feel about her when we were young?”
Jessie shakes his head. “Easy, brother. This isn’t the kind of shit you need to be discussing in front of her.”
“Why? We’re here, trying to be honest about everything. The way we used to talk about her…the way we still do.”
“Talk is talk,” Joshua says, his eyes finding mine. “But Maisie is our stepsister. The line should not have been crossed, by any of you.”
“Are you telling me, if you’d been in a position to do the same…to find out exactly what it felt like to be with her the way we’ve thought about…that you wouldn’t have taken it?”
Joshua tips his head back and looks at the ceiling, inhaling deeply. “You’re asking me if I’d put my own feelings before the structure of this family?”
“Yes,” Kyle says.
“He would have done,” Jessie says. “And I would have done too, but I still don’t get what this has to do with Maisie herself.”
Kyle looks from brother to brother, and I can see him trying to formulate what to say next. There’s so much riding on this for him. For all of us. “You remember that show on TV. The one featuring the McGregor brothers…the one showing how they’re all in a relationship with one woman.”
They all nod and Kameron shakes his head. “That’s what Kyle wants with Maisie. He wants us to live together with one woman. Our stepsister.”
The room is silent and I don’t know what to do with myself. This is mortifying for so many reasons. I’ve never felt so exposed, both sexually and emotionally. These men are discussing my part in a future that I’ve struggled to reconcile. It’s obvious that they’re struggling to fathom Kyle’s idea too.
“What does Maisie think about all this?” Jameson asks, his hand rubbing at his beard thoughtfully.
“She’s worried about how Mom will feel…what her reaction will be.”
“That is something we should all be worried about,” Joshua says.
“I want to hear it from Maisie,” Jameson says.
I take a seat on the end of the bed, Kameron’s sweater dropping over my knees until I look like a child wearing her father’s clothing. Finding the words to express all the confused feelings in my head is just too hard. “I don’t know what I feel,” I say. “I care for you all…we have so much history, and I’ve had a chance to get to know you all again since I’ve come back…and things are different now.”
“You’ve had a chance to get to know some of us more than others,” Joshua says. “How do you feel about that?”
“I liked it,” I say, cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
“We saw,” Jessie says with a cheeky grin. “You were taking Jameson like a pro.”
“Not appropriate,” Kyle snaps at his brother.
“Do you think this is something you could do?” Jameson asks me.
There it is. The question that feels like the biggest that I’ve ever been asked in my life. Choices that just involve one person are hard enough. A choice which involves six of us and our parents is huge. There is so much riding on my answer. The potential to hurt five men whom I’ve realized I would do anything to protect. The thought to bring pain to my mom and dad, and Janice. The thought that by uniting these brothers, I could fracture our family into two.
“If I could say yes and know that it would hurt no one, then I would say yes. I’d try because the thought of you all moving away from each other makes me so sad. The thought of you being with other women, well it leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach. I don’t like feeling jealousy, but I do. But how can I say yes, knowing what it could do to your relationship with your mom. It just wouldn’t be fair.”
Kyle sits next to me on the edge of the bed and rests his hand on my knee. “Mom is never going to like it when we move on and start our own lives. She still fusses around us like we’re kids and that has to stop at some point. I’m not saying that this will be easy, Maisie, but I am saying that we will get through it. If you’re willing to try.”
“I am,” I say, “but you have to promise that the difficulties that will come from this decision will not affect our future. You cannot blame me if your mom decides she’s never going to speak to you all again. You cannot blame me if the press gets hold of the story as they did with the McGregors, and tears us to shreds. If this has an impact on your careers, I cannot be held responsible.”
Kyle nods and I glance around at each of the brothers. Jameson follows his brother, and Kameron too. I guess it’s easier for them as we’ve already take a step forward on this path that I haven’t taken with Jessie and Joshua.
When I meet Jessie’s eyes, he steps forward until he’s in front of me and drops to his knees. “I don’t think any of us can make this decision right now.” He looks to Kyle. “You’re putting too much pressure on Maisie to make a commitment when there is so much happening. We have five days until Mom and Don are back. Five days to see if this could work for all of us. I think we should take this time and then Maisie can tell us how she feels?”
“What about how you all feel,” I say, conscious that Kyle and Jessie seem to have made a complete assumption that the rest of their brothers would be happy to share one woman…happy to share me.
“We’ll talk about that too,” Kameron says.
Five days.
This could be the best and worst decision I’ve ever made.
