Rose rolls to her back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. “You think I did that on purpose?”
It was a strange question, and I hesitate, propping myself up on my elbows to see her as I lay on my stomach. “Well, you invited them, right?”
“Earlier in the day, at the party, before I even knew that TJ would come, let alone Andrew.” She rolls to her side, resting her head on her pillow as she looks at me through our dark room. “I know that situation is awkward, I wouldn’t have told them if I knew he was going to be there with you. I thought you and Tatum got along outside of him. I didn’t realize it was going to be a problem when I told them we were going there.”
“Oh.” It made sense. I hadn’t even known for sure if Andrew was coming out with us, until he showed up. And now I feel guilty for saying anything about it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of doing that intentionally, but I was worried that something was up. I thought you might have been mad at me or something.”
“Mad at you?” she questions like it’s an absurd idea. “Why would I be mad at you?”
“I don’t know.” I drop my head to my pillow and lay on my side, facing her. “You seemed a little quiet today, but maybe I was reading too much into it.”
Her snort turns into a laugh. “Don’t mind me. I’m about to start my period, and I get moody. That and TJ’s mixed signals has me all confused. I swear he can be so sweet sometimes but then he’ll ignore me. Like last night, we went back to his place, spent the night together, and he held me while he slept. But then this morning, he drove me home and didn’t say a word to me.”
“Maybe he was tired? I know they practice a lot and he still pulls really late nights.” I just got off my period, I wonder if I could blame that for my overactive hormones with Andrew?
“Maybe. You might be right.”
My eyes have adjusted to the dark enough to see the smile stretching on her face before she rolls over with her back to me.
“’Night Brook.”
“Goodnight.”
Rose and I part ways after our Monday lunch, she’s off to her speech class, and I walk to Biology.
I don’t make it very far when someone grabs my side in a touch that has me jumping out of my skin in shock. I spin towards the offender, arms up on the defense, but he grabs me with both hands, steadying me in his grip.
“I didn’t realize you scared so easy,” laughter fills Andrew’s words and face, even his eyes shine with it as he looks down on me. He pulls me in closer, overwhelming all my senses in his intense warmth. “You okay?”
When I inhale, all I can smell is him. All I can see is him. My eyes travel over his red shirt and wide shoulders till I meet his electric gaze and tempting smile.
I nod my head, my smile parting as he moves towards me, his focus on my lips.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to class.” He grabs my hand and pulls me along beside him.
“I’m going to the science building.”
“I know.” He flashes me a confident grin that says he’s got it all under control, and my stomach flips as I quicken my pace to keep up. The almost kiss left behind.
“I’ve got time, we don’t need to run,” I speak up and pull my hand away so he doesn’t keep dragging me around campus.
“What?” He slows and looks me over. “Oh, I forget, you got short legs.”
“Nothing to do with my legs. I just move at a slower pace because I take my time and enjoy my surroundings,” I defend.
“And I don’t?” His lips twist but he slows his pace even more, and his voice fills with heat. “It’s okay, I’ll slow down for you.”
“A normal pace is fine.” I can’t keep looking at him. I direct my focus on the sidewalk in front of us with a nod of my head. “This is a normal pace.”
“How was dinner with your mom last night?”
“Good.” I breathe a sigh of relief for the change of topic. “Rose and the two girls who live across the hall from us, Jess and Angel, joined us.” It actually was a good dinner with fun conversations. And best of all, I think it put my mom at ease with me living here.
“Do you see your mom every weekend?” Andrew steps ahead of me and pulls open the door to the science building.
I avoid looking at him, especially with that question, and walk through the door with a shrug. “Sometimes, I guess.” That doesn’t even make sense. “If I don’t have plans and she want’s to see me. It’s not that far.” My eyes stay glued to the floor as I talk myself deeper into embarrassment.
His hand is warm compared to the cool air in the building, and he slides it down my arm, grabbing my fingers to turn me towards him in the middle of the hall. “Do you not like seeing your mom?”
I look up then and am hit with his clear stare. There’s no judgment or teasing in his look, only curiosity. “No, I love spending time with her.”
His head tilts slightly, as if hearing a voice I couldn’t. “Then why the roundabout answer? You did that thing you do when you’re nervous.”
His observation gives me pause, not just because I need to think of an answer, but that he’s noticed something about me. “I guess because I’m suppose to be away at college, not hanging out with my mom every weekend.”
“Who says?” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “Who cares? Do what you want to do.”
“How often do you talk to your mom?” I turn the focus to him.
“I don’t.” He says simply.
“Hey.” A girl stops by us, pointing her finger at me. “How are you? About to go into class?”
“Hi.” I recognize her from class. She sits two rows in front of me, but we’ve never talked. “Yeah, I’m about to.”
“Cool. I’ll wait with you.” She rakes her fingers through her long strawberry blonde hair and then turns towards Andrew. “Hi, I’m Sam.”
“Actually, she’ll meet you in there in a minute.” He doesn’t give her time to respond, but tugs on my hand, pulling me to the end of the hall and around a secluded corner.
“Before you go.” He walks into me till the wall is at my back and he’s against the front of me. His hand rises to the back of my neck, lifting my head up with the flex of his fingers. “We’re still on for later, right? I’ll see you tonight?”
“When?”
He pecks my lips. “I’ll call you.”
Something flares in me as he walks away with a careless smile. He was only stringing me along with non-plans. “I won’t answer if it’s past eleven like the other week.”
He turns back to me and crosses his arms, meeting my challenge. “What’s my time limit?”
“Never mind.” I walk away from him, the embers of anger burning in my chest and throat.
“Wait.” There’s too much laughter in his request so I keep going, but he grabs my arm before I turn the corner. “Are you mad?”
I whip around towards him, but he continues talking.
“I almost couldn’t tell.” He uses his grip on my arm to pull me closer, till I’m in his atmosphere. “Why?”
I lift my chin, but my voice doesn’t come out steady like I wish it would. “I want real plans. Or nothing at all.”
His smile stretches on his face in slow motion, but his eyes sharpen as he looks down on me. “You’re a demanding little thing. I knew you were going to make me work hard, but damn, you’ve got a lot of rules.”
“Just forget about it. I’m done playing this game.”
“Whoa.” His hold on me tightens so I can’t pull away. “What game?”
“This.” I drop my eyes to his hands on me. “Let me go, I’ve got class.”
“You’ve got time. Now what’s the problem?”
“You. This. All of it.” My chest rises and falls with my breaths. “You act like every request I make is just an obstacle you’ve got to complete to get what you want. And it’s not suppose to be that way.”
“And how the fuck is it supposed to be?” He doesn’t raise his voice, but frustration tightens his words. “Am I supposed to lie to you to make it more polite, like every other guy? What’s the point? I want to fuck you—I never denied that. But you don’t want to yet, fine. And for some reason I don’t even understand, I don’t want to leave it at that. So I’ve been spending time with you, and I’ll keep spending time with you.” The corner of his mouth turns up in a sexy half smirk. “But Brook, spending time with you only makes me want to fuck you more. Is that a problem?”
I let out my breath in a stream, trying to release the tightness in my chest that his words cause. “I don’t want this to only be about…that.”
As I meet his cool green eyes, mine burn with a longing for him, for something I know he won’t offer. Something more than this. More than physically wanting me.
He watches me for a moment, appraising me like a hawk before lifting one shoulder. “Then agree to see me tonight. I’ll pick you up at 8:00.”
“Okay.” He so easily chips away at the part of me that tries to be smart and pull away, that girl doesn’t stand a chance. Not when my desire for him drives out all sense.
We sit in a booth at a Mexican restaurant off campus, waiting for our meals. Conversation had been easy as we discussed our classes, but now we’ve reached a lull.
“So, you excited for the game this weekend?” I question and drop my eyes as his narrows.
“Florida State is a big rival and it’s homecoming.”
“Nervous?” I attempt to read him, sensing a shift in him, a vulnerability that I want to grasp, but he covers it up quickly—if it was truly there to begin with.
“Not exactly.” He shakes his head. “I plan. I prepare. I predict. All to the best of my ability. It’ll be a busy week for me, that’s why I wanted tonight with you.”
I nod, sadness pulling at the edges of the moment as I think about going the rest of the week without seeing him. “Do you have to do anything special for homecoming?”
“There’s an event on Friday for past players and alumni that the team has to attend. There’s some people coming into town this week that I have to meet with.”
“People from home?” I question, curious about any hint of his past. Besides the mention of not talking to his mom earlier, all I knew of his life before college was that Tatum was there.
“Yeah,” he stretches the word out with caution.
“Family?” I keep questioning, pressing my luck.
“Not really.” He shakes his head, eyes trained on me.
Our server interrupts to deliver our food, but once the table is set and he’s gone, Andrew surprises me by continuing, “My grandmother raised me. That’s my only family.”
I have the strange urge to thank him for sharing, but I resist. “Did she teach you to play football?”
He laughs, a real laugh, and it sounds like music, deep and melodic. “No, but she signed me up for every after school rec league offered, in all the sports. What about you?”
“Hm?” I’m content to just listen to him. “I wasn’t much for sports.”
“What about your family? Is it a big one?”
“Only my parents and my sister.” Her name ricochets in my heart, shredding it.
“Older or younger sister?”
I take a breath. “Older by three years.”
“You two close?” He’s studying my response much too close.
“Not anymore.” I take a bit of rice and swallow the pain in lining my throat, grasping at a new topic. “There’s a movie playing on campus this Thursday. I haven’t been to the theater at the union yet, have you?”
He gets the point and drops the family talk, I only regret not asking him more first.
He pulls his truck in front of my dorm and turns off the ignition. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
I slide out of the passenger side, and he meets me on the sidewalk, walking with me toward my building.
When we reach the door, I turn to him. “Tonight was nice, thanks.”
“I know you’re big on ‘real’ plans, but I can’t promise a time this week.” He steps close. “I want to try and see you again, though.”
My smile hurts, I’m that easy. I press my lips together when I look at him to cover it some. “Okay. Call me when you can.”
“I will.” He dips towards me, his hand propped on the door behind me, lips skimming mine. “Can I come in?”
“No.” I lean away, but his hand grabs the back of my neck.
“I figured that would be the answer but knew you were expecting me to ask.” His grin’s disturbingly charming.
“Oh, really?”
“Really.” His lips are light against mine, a teasing kiss that steels my air. “I’ll meet your expectations.” His warm breath heats my skin as he scatters kisses between words. “Every—single—one.” He ends with a deep kiss that stirs my blood, pulling it towards him like the tide to the moon, raising a wave of wanting. His hands coast down my sides and the tips of his fingers graze the end of my skirt, lifting the fabric slightly.
I grip his hand, stopping him from reaching further. He growls, an ache that vibrates through him to me, but his hands fall away and he lifts his head. “I can’t decide if I love or hate these skirts.” His eyes drop down my body to my legs as he steps away. “Never mind. I love them.”
My body burns under his gaze, but I stand there for him to look. I like it. I like the way he stares like I’m something worth staring at. And for a second I almost think this might be enough, him wanting me in this way might be all I really need.
But I go inside, leaving him before I can let that thought, his stare, lead me somewhere I might regret.
I follow my row as I exit the movie theater. Jess and Angel are in front of me. Rose, Deena, and Layla are behind me.
“You can’t really be mad because she did warn you,” Deena continues. “Or, at least, you can’t really be mad at her.”
I stay silent, but inside I’m screaming.
Jess turns to Deena. “Why should she be mad at anyone? Andrew’s having dinner with Tatum’s family. He knows them from school. Who say’s it’s anything more?”
Rose grabs my hand in silent support, but her eyes say it all. This is what we’d predicted all along.
“It’s always something more with them.” Layla shakes her head.
“Well, forget them. Are we still going to South Street?” Rose asks. “TJ and some others are suppose to meet us there.”
“Uh,” Deena looks at her phone, “yeah, lets go.”
“What about you? You still want to go?” Rose pumps my hand.
“Yeah.” Really though, I’m not sure.
I pull out my phone. Earlier, Andrew texted that he’d call me later, but there’s nothing new from him. If what Deena said is true, then he’s with Tatum and her family. I’m not sure how to feel, I don’t have a right to say he can’t be around her. I don’t have any rights or claim to him. But damn does the jealousy sear like a poison under my skin. At the very least, I need to know their story before I continue anything with him. If there’s anything left to continue.
We’re at our usual tables in the back corner. Everyone’s chattering around me, and Deena’s constantly in my ear about Tatum. How she wants to be my friend, how I should just forget Andrew, how much Scott likes me.
Scott.
Scott is here now. He’s talking to a group of guys from his frat, but he’s standing right next to me. He’s been there most of the night, buying me drinks when mine’s low and talking to me when others aren’t. But right now, Deena is still going, like the energizer bunny.
“She was worried after last week. She said she was rude and harsh but didn’t mean to be, and then this weekend, you left the second we showed up. She—”
“Deena,” I interrupt her, made bold by the alcohol. “Stop talking about Tatum. I’ll talk to her myself. We don’t need a go between.”
She’s taken back at first, but then she smiles and lifts her cup to me. “All right. I can respect that.” She takes a gulp and leans in to me, pointing into the crowd. “Looks like you might get your chance tonight.”
I follow her finger to Andrew breaking through the sea of people, but in his wake is Tatum.
He’s on a direct path to our table, not at all surprised to see me here. He ignores others as they greet him, including Kyle, and stops directly in front of me.
“I need to talk to you.” He leans into my ear to be heard over the crowd, but his hand on my back is intimate.
“Here? Now?” I ignore Tatum as she approaches the table.
He shifts his gaze around, narrowing his eyes some at Scott’s back, and then focuses on me with a shake of his head. “No, lets go somewhere, please.”
And it’s the please that does me in, it holds a sincere plea I can’t refuse. So I take the step away with him but Tatum halts it.
“Andrew.” She brushes his shoulder with her hand, calling his attention.
He drops his arm from me as she steps close to him, her long limbs and heels putting her on near even ground as she blinks at him with doe eyes. “Andrew, you owe…”
I can’t hear the rest as he steps a few feet away with his back to me, one hand trailing behind him, signaling me to wait a second.
Whatever she’s saying grows in emotion, and she starts pawing at his chest, but he removes her hand. She stays where she’s at as he approaches me.
“Give me a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.” There’s an urgent need in his eyes, so I agree, confused but curious and unable to refuse him.
He walks away and Deena says, “He’ll always choose her. Always.”
My chest is unbearably tight. I need a moment, so I excuse myself to the restroom. But there’s no space to breathe. The lines are too long and hall too crowded. Before I can find a different escape, I smack right into my past.
Brody Davis blocks my path with a smile that makes my skin crawl. “If it isn’t little Shaw.” His words waver like he’s drunk, and so does his body as he moves from side to side, not letting me pass.
I knew this could happen. This school’s too close to leave everyone behind. But I couldn’t afford out of state. This wasn’t a main offender, but everyone in school thought it was their right to join in. And I wasn’t ready to face any of them. I duck my head to slip by, unwilling to talk or confront him.
“Not so fast.” His arm hooks around my waist as he crowds me to the wall. “Lets catch up. How’s your sister? Now that’s the Shaw I’m dying to see. The fun one.”
“Leave me alone.” I back up, out of his hold.
“Like you should have left everyone else alone?” The look in his eye is of pure hatred as he stalks towards me, but it’s not him I fear, it’s the secrets he can tell.
I shake my head, crushed under my weakness, my past. This present.
“Brook.” Scott steps past Brody and stands between us, facing me as his eyes scan over me. “Are you all right?”
I step into the arm he offers. Hugged into the side of his body, I try and walk us past Brody, but Scott doesn’t move.
“I’d watch out, bro,” Brody slurs with a laugh. “She doesn’t know how to use that big fucking mouth of hers for the right thing.”
“Enough,” Scott demands, his arm tightening around me. “Leave her alone. That’s your only warning. And before you say anything else, think about who you’re talking to.”
I only feel relief as we walk away from him, away from the things he could say. But I know my time is up now that I’m recognized—because to Brody it wasn’t secrets but gossip he’d probably share. And that realization breaks me. Tears rise to the surface as I press harder into Scott’s side and try to hide them.
The cool air gives way to a still night as Scott walks me out the back of the bar. I pull away some and he stops.
“Are you all right?” He lifts my chin with his fingers.
I can’t catch a steady breath, but I smile all the same. “I’ll be okay.” I turn away from his touch and swipe at my tears. “Thank you.”
His arms wrap back around me, turning me to face him. “What happened?” His hands are cupping my face, thumb swiping under my eyes. “What did he do to make you cry?”
I shake my head and step back, his touch only makes the tears come faster. But the more I try to break away the tighter his hold gets, the closer he pulls me.
“Get the fuck off of her.”
I’m dropped. Scott’s body flies off of me as Andrew shoves him away.
“Stop,” I yell, jumping in front of Andrew, but he pushes me to the side to get to Scott.
“I helped her. She—”
Scott’s explanation is cut off by Andrew’s fist, and Scott goes sprawling to the ground.
“No.” I fall to my knees next to Scott, leaning over him to keep Andrew away, to keep him from hitting him again.
When I look up, there’s a crowd around us, including TJ, Kyle, Rose, and Tatum.
TJ grabs Andrew’s shoulder. “Come on man, it’s not worth it. We got to get out of here before security is called.”
Andrew’s green eyes hold a hurricane as he looks down at me, his chest heaving like a storm. “Get up, Brook. Let’s go.”
I turn back to Scott. He’s pulled himself up to sitting, a hand over his eye as he grumbles something.
“Are you all right?” I help him to his feet, trying to inspect his eye, but he doesn’t move his hand.
He looks at me with one good eye and gives the saddest smile ever.
Andrew grabs me. “Come on, we’ve got to leave. Now.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I snatch my arm back.
He shoots a horrified look between Scott and me. “You’re going to choose him?”
“Come on man.” TJ’s already moving further away, yelling for Andrew to follow.
“Brook?” Rose calls to me.
I take a few steps away from Andrew and shake my head to Rose. “I’m not leaving with him.”
Scott probably makes it a hundred times worse, but he stands next to me and drops both his hands to his side, revealing his red swollen eye.
“Fuck this,” Andrew snaps and then follows TJ out of the bar.
