“Brook.”
I open my eyes at the sound of my mother’s whisper. The morning glow lights my room in a haze as I wake.
She’s in my doorway for only a moment before she nods her head towards the kitchen and walks away, leaving the door open behind her.
Drew’s arm is draped over my middle, a heavy weight that I’m reluctant to move. The least of my worries is what my mom thinks about him in my bed. He’s the only reason I got any sleep at all.
I ease myself around in his arms, and my heart swells to see him sleeping. His beautiful lips are slightly parted as he takes heavy breaths. I resist the urge to kiss him, wanting to let him sleep. But I have to slide out of my bed, out of his arms, and out from under his leg that’s pinning mine.
It’s when I free my legs that he wakes, adorably slow. He rolls to his back, eyes still closed, and scratches his neck as he stretches his other arm above his head.
Then one eye pops open, and he raises his brow at me. His arm hooks around my waist before I rise from the edge of the bed, and he drags me to him.
“Where are you going?” His leg drops over top of mine as he pulls me into his shirtless chest, back into the position we were sleeping in.
“I’ve got to talk to my mom.”
“Ah damn,” he lets me go and runs his fingers through his unruly hair, his voice gritty with sleep, “I forgot about going back out there before she woke up.”
“It’s all right.” I smile at him as I escape the bed. “She’s about to go to work. Just stay in here, and I’ll be right back.”
He rests against my pillow, both arms behind his head, his muscles stretching the dark ink on his skin. He gives me a nod with a sleepy grin.
I can’t resist. I lean back towards the bed and place a kiss to his smile. His hands are quick to hold me there, kissing me back with an electric charge that alights me. And the way his lips move, soft and moist over mine, has me begging for more. One of his hands graze over my back and around the curve of my butt; he grips it in his palm.
“Go talk to her,” he speaks into my mouth, pulling back just enough for his lips to tickle mine, and I want to inhale his words, “I’ll be right here.”
I leave the room, hanging onto the hope he gives me as I go to face my mom.
She’s dressed in her scrubs, hair pulled back in a ponytail as she pours coffee into her travel mug. When she turns to me, she inhales deeply. Her fair skin is puffy around her eyes, showing the type of fatigue that caffeine won’t cure.
“Why didn’t you warn me? Why didn’t you say anything?” Her question is filled with a soft pain. It slides into me as gentle as her hand on my shoulder. And then the touch turns into a smothering hug. “What is going on, Brook?”
“I didn’t want to make things worse. I didn’t want this to hurt you.”
Her thin arms tighten around me. “Oh, sweetie, it’s not me I’m worried about.” She pulls back, holding me by my shoulders, and the concern in her eyes is overwhelming. “You can talk to me. You can tell me anything. You know I’ll love you no matter what. You can tell me the truth.”
I nod, swallowing my regret. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
She nods but doesn’t let me go. “But have you told me everything? That boy in there—” She nods her head towards my room, where Drew is. “—he’s not forcing you to do this, is he?”
“No.” I pull out of her grasp, burning with the need to defend him, to protect him from any fall out of standing beside me. “No. He’s helping me. He’s not forcing me to do anything.”
“Okay, I was only asking.” She puts one hand up to quiet me down. “I mean, you came home this weekend, and I thought it was that you two broke up. You said you broke up. But then he comes here last night after being suspended, takes you out, and you come back telling these stories.” She covers her lips with her fingers, a soft cry escaping. “He’s not the one that put those bruises on you, is he?”
“I told you last night what happened.” My voice wavers with not enough air to give it power, and I sway on my feet, deja vu rocking me.
It’s always the same. Are you sure? You can tell me the truth. The repeated questions about what I’ve said. And in the end, it’s not the ones who yell I’m a liar or chase me with insults that hurt the most. It’s those little things, the tiniest statements from the people you need to believe you, that chip away at your soul—that bury you.
“But I didn’t get a chance to talk to you alone. He stayed and—”
“You said he could.”
“I know, but I’m surprised to find him in your bed this morning.” Her voice keeps that soft tone she always has, but her eyes widen.
“I was upset last night, so he came in to talk, and we fell asleep.”
“Okay.” She nods with a deep breath and a tight smile as she picks up her travel mug and keys. “I’ll be home later.” She reaches her free hand out to the side of my head, pressing her lips to the other side as I stand still. “We can talk more then.”
When she opens the front door, she pauses, turning back to me. “I’m glad he’s here for you. But he can’t spend the night anymore, okay?”
I nod and she shuts the door.
Then I crawl back into bed with Drew, clinging to this moment with him, trying to push out all other thoughts except how warm he is, how solid he feels beneath my hands, how he seems to fill the air around me, calming me as I breathe him in.
“What did your mom say?” He wraps his arm around me, body melding with mine until we’re fit together perfectly, and my head rests on his chest.
“That we need to talk later.” It comes out as hollow as it makes me feel.
His fingers stop their light dance on my arm. “Was she upset?”
“Yeah,” and that one admission snaps the damn on my sadness, it floods into my veins.
“With you?”
I look up at his incredulous tone, and he’s staring back at me with furrowed brows.
“Why would she be upset with you?”
I shake my head without lifting it from his chest and grip him tighter. “It’s not me really, it’s everything. It’s all added stress. She’s gone through a lot in her life, and I keep adding to it.”
“Don’t blame yourself for that, it’s not your fault.”
“Some of it is,” I sigh, lifting myself onto my forearms so I can look at his face better. “But, can we stop talking about this for now? She said you can’t spend the night anymore, and I want to enjoy this morning with you.”
“I can’t spend the night anymore? Then you’ll have to spend the night at my place.”
“I—” My words are cut off in a squeal as he spins us so I’m on my back, and he’s above me.
“No more talking, remember?” His lips travel from my chin to my neck, grazing my skin as he speaks. “You said you want to enjoy the morning.” His fingers travel down my neck, over my shirt to my sweatpants, sending a shiver as if it had been skin he touched. “I want the same thing.” He grips my hip and then slides his hand up my side in a trail of heat under my shirt. “Is this what you meant?”
“Hmm,” I agree with a soft moan when he drops his lips to my collarbone. This is exactly what I wanted—his mind erasing touch.
His hand cups one breast, pushing it towards his mouth. He nips at the skin and then looks up to me with a dirty grin. “Although the no talking might be a challenge for me.”
My stomach swirls and clenches, a tingle shooting through me, building in my core. I slide my fingers in his hair, pulling him back to my chest. His hand is under my bra, thumb circling and flicking over my nipple. He lifts the shirt out of the way so he can suck it into his mouth, and I purr as his cool kiss hits my heated skin.
With his hands on me, all else fades away, and I surrender to the desire he creates, the pleasure he gives. I run my hands over his back, absorbing every muscle and indulge in the way they tense under my touch. My hips rise to meet his, looking for release from the pressure he’s building with the swirl of his tongue.
“So sensitive, baby.” He grabs my hands and pins them to the bed as he teases the other breast with his tongue. “I bet I could get you off just like this.”
“No,” I protest, unable to move my hands he’s pinned by my side.
“Don’t worry. I won’t stop with this.” He sucks and grinds against me, forcing my legs to part as he centers himself above me.
I wrap them around his waist, holding him there and rocking against him.
His hands leave mine to grip my hips, stilling them against the bed. “I was going to go slow.” He kisses the side of my breast. “Go easy on you.” He places another kiss just below my boob. “Take my time.” His hands travel up my ribs. “But you have to stop moving like that.” He pulls my shirt off of me as he sits up, straddling my waist. But his heated gaze drains, and he freezes as he looks down at me.
“What the hell?” He moves off of me, but his hand goes to my side, to the bruises that cover my hip. His fingers slide into the waistband of my sweats, lowering them to reveal what’s left of the fading splotches on my skin. “Did he do this, too?”
I adjust my bra over my chest as I sit up, disappointment pressing on me. “He pushed me away from Kyle, and I hit the ground.”
“Did you show the cops that when they took pictures?”
The officers had him wait in the other room when they questioned me and took the photos, so he hadn’t seen it then. “Yeah.”
“Good.” He hops off the bed and reaches for his phone on the nightstand table. “Fuck, I wanted to wait, but I’ve got to see if anything’s happened yet.”
“Not yet, please.” My heart squeezes. “Wait just a little longer.”
He turns to me with his phone in his hand. “What does it matter?”
“It’s going to change. The second you turn on that phone, I have to face what’s happening. I just wanted a little longer.”
“Nothing’s going to change.” He slides his hand in my hair. “I’m here for you.”
I grab my shirt and untangle it, heart picking up speed as I anticipate any news. “Okay.”
“Wait.” He sets down his phone, grabbing my wrists before I can slide my shirt back on. “I’ll wait. I’m not going to let him ruin our morning.” He pulls me towards him by my wrist, his other hand sliding around my back. “Any news can wait.” Our lips meet and he wraps me up in his arms till I’m straddling him, and my pulse quickens with relief and pleasure. “But you’ll see, I’ll still be here for you. I promise.”
I thread my fingers through his hair and drink in his promise, knowing he means it, even if he can’t keep it.
His hands are gentle as they travel over my skin, but his hold is firm as he lays me back on the bed. He undresses me with light, unrushed touches, and kisses that linger on my skin. By time he’s naked and over me, he’s explored every inch of my skin, front and back with reverent lips and hands, and every cell sings from his attention, but it’s nothing compared to when he’s inside me. The pleasure, the need, the release. The connection, it’s more than our bodies joining. It’s a language I feel, promises I taste, tenderness I hear in every kiss. And we float in it all, extending the moment for as long as we can, till my body’s exhausted from the rush, and his muscles quake with the strain of holding back. In that final thrust, he holds me to him, tender kisses keeping me with him even as my body spins into orbit.
He walks out of my kitchen, the echo of his phone call still ringing in my head. TJ had been arrested this morning, and the cops had shown up at practice to bring Kyle in for questioning.
Whoever he just got off the phone with didn’t have any new information. But his phone never goes long without ringing, whether it’s players or reporters looking for information. That’s why I keep mine off. That and the other messages I know are there. The ones from Rose and now who knows who else.
But it didn’t stop the house phone. I only answer one call, though. The college asking me to come to a meeting tomorrow with the Dean of Students and the board of professors in charge of my clinic. It didn’t sound good.
“Come on.” He pulls on my hand, till I’m standing in front of the couch. “I can’t stay in here all day. And how long has it been since you left, other than last night with me?”
I shrug. “Since I got here Saturday.”
“Well, we’re getting out. Come on, if we leave now, I can make it to practice with Q.”
I pull out of his hands. “You can go. I’ll be fine here.”
His hands slide down my shoulders. “No, you are coming with me. This will get your mind off things. Plus, you’re spending the night, right? You’ve got to come back with me.”
“I can’t spend the night, tonight. I have to talk to my mom.”
He pulls me to him and brings his lips to my forehead. “Fine, but that’s more of a reason you’re coming with me now. Come on.”
Practice with Q does help. I don’t do much, but I brought my science text to study while they run the field. And the fresh, crisp air clears my mind. But it’s the boy’s laughter that strips some of the weight holding me down.
They both wear those parachute things on their back, and Q passes by my bench first, Drew right behind him.
“I won.” Q unbuckles his shoot and dances over to me as Drew undoes his harness. “Woo-ee I told you to watch out for this kid!” He slaps my hand and pulls me to my feet. “Did you see that?”
“You haven’t won yet. That was my first try, and I tripped up on the strings. Let’s go again.” Drew stands with his hands on his hips.
“Admit it, you lost, Fayden my maiden.” He laughs and dips back to me. “That means he’s my bitch.”
I laugh at Drew’s ridiculous face and his cocky friend.
“Watch it.” Drew points to him. “And I’m not admitting shit. Best two out of three.”
“Why don’t you tape this, baby girl?” He hands me his phone as he side skips back out onto the field with Drew.
“Should I come in with you?” Drew asks, fingers on the ignition.
“No, I need to talk to her alone.” I look across the truck to him, wishing I didn’t have to say goodbye yet. “Thank you for today. For everything.”
His hand slips into my hair, and his other one comes around to hold my neck. “You don’t have to thank me.” He silences my response with a kiss—a kiss I don’t want to pull away from. “Are you sure you can’t come back with me tonight?”
I nod against his lips, shivering as his hands trail down my neck and back. “I wish I could. Maybe tomorrow.”
“I’m going to go to practice in the morning, but I’ll meet you before your meeting. It’s at ten, right?”
I pull away, a heavy weight in my stomach. “At ten in the administrations building. You’re going to practice with the team?”
“I need to be there. Even if I’m suspended, it’s important. But I’ll be there for you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything.”
He pulls me back for one more kiss, and then I pull away, sliding out of his truck to face my mom. With every step away from him, gravity increases its pull, the lightness of the day only a memory by time I reach the door.
Talking with my mom isn’t too bad, she only asks for the story again. She only questions everything I say with those subtle, are-you-sures. But in the end, she apologizes and cries and says how she wishes it could all be different. And I can’t blame her, I wish the same thing.
Even though it wasn’t too bad, it’s still enough that I can’t sleep. Or maybe that’s the absence of Drew’s arms and comforting breaths.
My heart threatens to hammer through my ribs as I approach the Administration building, but when I get close and see Drew arguing with Tatum, it ceases beating altogether.
Drew’s not focusing on the thin brunette in front of him, though. He’s scanning the path around him, and when his eyes land on me, he steps past her, towards me.
She spins to follow him and yells, “How much more proof do you need?”
His jaw flexes with anger, and his fists are curled, but he doesn’t turn back to her as he orders, “I’m done talking to you about this.”
He reaches me and grips my arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know she was going to follow me from practice.”
I barely nod to him as I focus on Tatum still approaching.
“I should have known you were coming here for her.” She sweeps her hand to me, but her voice is broken and low. “You’re throwing it all away. Just think about what you’re doing.”
“I have. Now leave us alone.”
I walk with him, past her, but she cries out, “Maybe I’ll just get an abortion then. You don’t want it anyways.”
He freezes.
“Tatum. I don’t think—”
“You stay out of it,” she interrupts me, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You’ve done enough.”
“You leave her out of it then,” Drew snaps as he steps back towards her. “What the hell’s wrong with you throwing out something like that? You don’t just say that.”
“I know.” She lifts her jaw to him, determination in her eyes. “You know, I know, that’s not something I take lightly. But what’s the point?”
He looks to me, eyes pleading for something that I don’t know how to help with. I can’t handle it all right now. “I have to get into my meeting. I’ve got to go.”
He nods and steps with me, but a dark dread pulls at my heart as she chokes on a sob behind us.
I grip his hand. “You should stay and talk to her. There’s not much you can do in the meeting anyways, but…”
“Are you sure?” He squeezes my hand and stops walking.
I nod and he pecks my lips before letting go. “Thank you. Call me when you’re out.”
It’s not a meeting; it’s a sentencing. They say it’s for my benefit, that I need time. They’ll let me work out alternate assignments with my professors so I don’t have to attend classes this semester. And since the school’s already getting lots of phone calls, they’ve decided it’s best to cancel the Saturday clinics indefinitely until the investigation is done. It’s all so I can have time and not have to face harassment and questions.
I offer to still run the clinic, but not show up if that’s the problem, but they refuse. And that breaks my heart into a million pieces. The Saturday clinic’s the one good thing I’ve done, and now I’ve ruined that for all the kids. They promise they’ll revisit opening the clinic in the spring. I’ll still be awarded my scholarship for this year, though.
I leave the conference room feeling like I’m in a ditch too steep to climb out of. And it’s a familiar place, a hole I’ve been in before.
Struggling to keep down my tears, I turn on my phone for the sole purpose of calling Drew, but the bombardment of notifications and missed messages slam into me. I don’t bother reading any of them as I locate his number.
The second my finger presses the call button, I’m interrupted.
“Brooklyn, how did it go?” It’s Scott in front of me in the lobby, and I groan.
“How did what go?” I hang up the phone after the voicemail picks up.
“The meeting. It was about the camp, right? Professor Yates told me about it. I’m sorry they’re canceling it.” He dips his head to me and reaches for my arm with sympathy.
“Don’t worry about it.” I walk away before he can touch me, done with him.
“Hey, wait up.” He follows me out the building. “I was wondering if you were okay. I heard TJ was arrested.”
I scan the sidewalk but don’t see Drew anywhere. I send a text message telling him I’m out, but Scott keeps talking so I keep walking.
“Are you mad at me?” He reaches for me again, but I spin to avoid him.
“Yes. I am.” I step back, claustrophobic with everything. My mind darkens with suspicion, breaking under the pressure. “What are you even doing here?” I look around at the empty path, Drew is nowhere to be seen. He’s probably left with Tatum, and that’s when the pieces click or fall apart into confusion. “Of course you’re here. Tatum was here, and you’re never far behind.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, I think you and Tatum are working together.”
“For what?” He scoffs.
“I. Don’t. Know.” I walk away, but he keeps following me to the parking garage. “Leave me alone.”
“No, what are you accusing me of?”
“Did you delete my phone calls?”
“What? When? How would I do that?” He questions fast, hand gripping my elbow to slow me down.
“Saturday morning, when I was sleeping, you didn’t delete my phone calls?”
“No, I didn’t touch your phone besides getting it from your dorm.” He pulls me to a stop. “You know I was only there to help you.”
I nod, still not believing him, but I want him to go away. “I’ve got to go.”
He drops my arm with a hard look, but I turn away and make it to the parking garage, no longer waiting for Drew. I’ll talk to him later. I just need to get home and release these tears. They threaten to slip as I step into the elevator.
I curse out loud as Scott pushes his way between the two closing doors.
“What are you doing?” I try to step past him, but he blocks my way out and the doors close behind him.
“I only want to talk. I want to help you, but I warned you about going to the police.”
Icicles form in my veins as he crowds close to me, backing me to the wall. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
The elevator dings and Scott grabs my arm as the doors slide open. “There’s someone else you need to talk to.”
All my panic hits the floor, silenced, when London steps between the elevator doors, coach Kelley right behind her.
