Summer finally came after what had been a damn long year. That Sophomore Kill Day prank caused something to happen to my relationship with Aubrey. I saw her for more than just the little girl my brother hung out with and as part of my life.
Or part of me. I couldn’t figure out which. Without her around, and with Jay protecting the hell out of her, I freaking missed the little spitfire.
So, week after week, I’d played nice. I said hi to her in the halls, I walked with her and Jay to school, I tried to eat lunch with them when Katie wasn’t around.
I’d made a fucking effort the rest of the school year, even got her to go to a few parties with Jay and me.
Not that I needed her or him to talk to me or anything. Life was just better when she did. Plus she was my friend too.
Kind of.
I’d found during the rest of the school year, I sort of saw red every time she was with my brother alone.
So, about a month into summer, I took another step in making peace. I called her to invite her to a bonfire party.
Aubrey’s dad was the one who answered the phone.
He never answered.
He must have come home early, and I was shit out of luck because he said she couldn’t do anything. Frustrated and confused, I hit end on my cell phone harder than I wanted.
Jay came up behind me. “Who’d you just call?”
“I called Aubrey’s house. Thought maybe she’d want to go to the party. Why doesn’t she have a goddamn cell phone?” I mumbled, still staring at my phone.
“She coming?” Jay said, climbing up on one of the kitchen barstools.
“No, her dad answered.”
“Frank answered?” he almost yelled.
“Yeah, man. Weird, right?”
Jay looked a little panicked. Then his mouth snapped shut like a locked box. He shrugged his shoulders and looked away.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He scooted off the barstool and headed toward the foyer. “Let’s go upstairs and get ready for this party.”
I grabbed his arm. “What aren’t you telling me?”
He tried to yank his arm free, but we both knew I was stronger. Jay wasn’t weak, but I was still older and meaner. Jay had always been the baby, the one everyone loved, the perfect child who never got into fights. Fights had their benefits though. I could beat Jay in a fist fight any day.
He glared at me when my grip tightened. “Jax, you’re eighteen. Act like an adult. Let go of me, and let me get ready. I’m not telling you shit.”
My baby brother’s eyes iced over like mine did when I was set on something.
“Fuck,” I mumbled and let him go. I knew I wasn’t getting anything out of him.
We both got ready and went to the party in silence.
We pulled up to a huge bonfire in the woods and saw two kegs set up, our friends all drinking. Bottles of liquor had been scattered around the fire, and everyone looked like they’d been partying most of the night. The moon was bright, the bugs were staying away, and beautiful cheerleaders had put on their shortest dresses to dance around the flames. The scene should have made me happy. I should have been throwing back a drink and smiling when one came up to slide her arms around my waist. I should have been happy as hell that Jay had found one of the other cheerleaders and was cozying up next to her by the fire.
Instead, I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. Something wasn’t right.
Aubrey’s dad never answered the damn phone.
After an hour, I knew my mood wasn’t going to change. I found Jay and nudged his shoulder to stop his make out session. “I’m going home, bro.”
Jay looked confused. “We just got here.”
“I’m not feeling it.”
Jay ran his hands through his dark hair, most likely torn between wanting to fuck his cheerleader and making sure I got home. Times like this reminded me of how great a brother he was. He never fucked anyone over. He cared. I knew ultimately if I didn’t give him a way out, he’d drive home with me to make sure everything was all right.
“Jay, I didn’t drink. You can stay and hitch a ride later or call me.”
He squinted at me trying to gauge the situation.
“Seriously, man. I’m fine.” I laughed to diffuse his concern. “You wanna smell my breath?”
He relaxed then. “No, dude. Don’t be a dick. I was just making sure.” He pulled his cheerleader for the night closer to him. “Text me when you get home.”
I nodded and left the party.
The drive back was quick and quiet. My Ford F150 drove like a dream. I hadn’t been surprised when my father gave me the gift once I turned eighteen. I’d been begging for a truck since I started driving, and after pulling good grades for a year and doing some research on investments, my dad claimed I’d earned it.
Technically, I hadn’t because my dad’s associates, who included my older brother Jett, didn’t actually invest the money where I’d recommended them to do so. Instead, they’d patted my back and told me I’d done good work and research. Come to find out, had they invested where I’d said to, they’d have been all the richer. Investment, risk, and math came easily to me. My dad finally witnessed it, and the man probably would have bought my ass anything at that point.
I rubbed my hands over the steering wheel and smiled to myself. The long nights of research had been worth it. I planned to take care of this truck for years. It was special to me, the first real thing I’d earned.
So, when I turned the corner to our block and hit the gas full speed—not thinking about whether or not I’d crash or worrying about rocks flying up and denting the metal—it was for a damn good reason.
I saw fire. Fire dancing like a tyrant taking over Aubrey’s house.
Red.
Scorching.
Burning.
Fire.
I should have called 9-1-1. I should have stood back and waited for the fire department. Instead, I floored the gas, drove right up her driveway and jumped from the truck.
It wasn’t heroism that fueled me, but fear. It damn near swallowed me up, flooded my lungs and drowned me. My fight to get to Aubrey was a fight against that fear. It choked me and had me struggling to break free. She could be in there. She could be hurt. She could be …
I didn’t think about anything but her.
I ran towards the door. I heard someone in the distance yelling my name, but I didn’t turn, I didn’t hesitate. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I roared and kicked it in near the handle.
Smoked billowed out of the house and I plowed in. I paused in the living room, realizing I had no idea of the layout of her house. I had never been in it. The fire swayed, furious with the wind that had entered the room with me. The smoke invaded my lungs and eyes immediately. I scanned the room, trying to make out hallways, searching for Aubrey. The flames and smoke created a maze, one I wasn’t sure I could navigate. As I stood in the middle of the room, overwhelmed with my dilemma, the flames seemed to crackle in laughter at me.
Through a cough, I yelled, “Peaches, where are you?”
I heard coughing coming from a room to my left and darted for it down a short hallway.
“Aubrey?”
I heard a whimper on the other side and tried to open the door.
It was locked. Triple locked. I stepped back to kick it in, but it didn’t budge. The door echoed a metal sound back at me. It was as if the door was sarcastically saying to me, “I’m made of steel, dumbass,” while the fire continued to roar in the background.
Smoke joined in, taking over the hallway. I coughed harder and harder. I tried to take in a breath but choked on it.
I sunk to the ground and whispered, “Aubrey, the door. It’s locked. I can’t get it open.”
Another whimper.
“Peaches,” I coughed. “Where are the keys?”
All I heard was, “Dad.”
Everything clicked then. The weird phone call. The anger on the other line. How weird Jay had been acting.
Her father was a fucking psychopath.
We all knew it. We just didn’t know it to this extent. I crawled farther down the hallway to another door. This one was unlocked and as I opened the door and crawled in, I realized the air wasn’t saturated with smoke but with the smell of alcohol. I welcomed it as I gasped and gasped until I could stand.
That’s when I saw Frank—passed out facedown on his bed—completely oblivious to the chaos engulfing his home. A bottle of Macallan was tipped over next to him, and it looked like only a few drops had made it onto the floor rather than down his throat.
Finding those keys had to be my top priority, even as I considered pummeling him over the head with that empty bottle. I snatched them from his pocket and turned to make my way back to Aubrey.
Some might hope I thought over my choices, weighed leaving a man to die, or that I considered my decision.
I didn’t.
The only hope I had for him was that he burned to death.
I took my shirt off, put it over my nose and ran back to the locked door. I unlocked it and shoved it open. She was curled up by the door, her face too swollen to even see her eyes. Her mother’s face was worse, if possible. I picked Peaches up and whispered, “I got you.” Then to her mother, I yelled, “Let’s go!”
The woman just paced back and forth in front of the window that was barred on the inside. “He will come. He will come,” she mumbled.
The smoke invaded the room like a snake of fury. It slithered in, ready to attack any space it could. I kept beckoning to Aubrey’s mother, but she wasn’t snapping out of whatever the fuck was wrong with her.
With Aubrey still in my arms, I lunged in front of her mother’s pacing. Her dark eyes clashed with mine and I saw recognition ignite in them.
“My husband didn’t come?” She all but accused me.
I just shook my head and coughed out, “We have to get out of here.”
She glanced at her daughter in my arms and a silent plea passed between them. It was the first time I saw Aubrey really communicate with her mother. I noticed the fake conversations she had with her in front of us all the time, the poised looks, and the hollow smiles.
This time, I felt her body curl in on itself and saw her clenching her fists. Then, she spread her fingers like they might give her the courage she needed. Aubrey’s green eyes widened, even with the swelling around them. They held determination and strength through pain. And I’d be damned if they didn’t beg her mother to feel the strength too. The look warped to bleeding desperation though, as we both saw the resignation in her mother’s eyes.
Aubrey reached her arm out and started to lean toward the fire and her mother, who was backing away from both of us into it. “No, Mom. Don’t.”
Her mother’s eyes snapped to mine. “Take care of her.”
With that, she darted out of the room and down the hallway.
Then, Aubrey started screaming. She was a daughter losing her mother and she fought me like it.
I ran for the front door, opposite the direction her mother went. I didn’t waste energy comforting her. I saved it to keep her safe, all while she wailed on me and squirmed to go after her parents. The maze of flames had grown, and I decided to make a run right through it.
We burst through the front door, Aubrey crying in my arms, fire trucks pulling up, and my mother crying on the front lawn. I dropped to my knees on the grass beside her, and we exchanged knowing glances. She must have seen something in my expression because instead of crying tears of joy that we’d made it out alive, she laid her hand on Aubrey’s cheek and shushed the screams coming from her.
That night, those screams ricocheted through my very being and they became the ones that haunted my sanity, making me question everything. I kept hold of her until she calmed down.
Paramedics continued to check our vitals and ask questions. I would never remember what they asked me, but I remember staring at that house. I remember the crackle and popping of wood that descended once Aubrey stopped screaming.
She didn’t look at me, and I didn’t look at her.
We stared at the house, and I felt my mom wipe tears from my eyes when firefighters appeared with two bodies, neither of which looked like they had life in them.
“She left us, just for him,” Aubrey said. Her voice cracked and sounded numb, void of emotion. It didn’t sound like her at all. Her mother’s decision had changed her.
My decision changed me too. I left both of Aubrey’s parents to die to save her. I left them to burn to death, and I felt void of guilt.
That was the day I realized I’d do anything for that girl.
It was the day I realized I loved her.
