We made our way back to her little town.
She worked on her class, and I worked tirelessly to slot everything into place. After my talk on the Ferris wheel with my brothers and Rome, I had allies to help put everything into motion. Pieces moved fast but with the four of us working together, we predicted each movement correctly.
Aubrey didn’t pay much attention to my working in her apartment other than asking about my music app. I think she genuinely cared about my music career, so I told her it would revolutionize the way people listened to music and how artists could share it with them. Artists would have the ability to release their own hand-picked music to whichever followers they wanted, share private locations to specific followers for an intimate concert, and give artists more ability to control their careers with their followers in general.
I was prouder from her smile and praise than I had been when Stonewood Enterprises agreed the launch would be a huge financial success.
I helped her with her class too. She had my tutoring advice on hand whenever she liked. Every now and then, she’d saunter over with a question about her investment project.
Admittedly, the answers I gave were incoherent because her short-ass shorts were just way too damn enticing. After a particularly good phone call, I decided to dominate her just like I was dominating the workforce.
I took her against her countertop.
Another time, I took her against the table.
I took her all around that apartment.
We enjoyed each other and fell back into that comfortable place we’d been in so many years ago.
So that night, when Aubrey’s anxiety crept in, I didn’t know if it was because of her class tomorrow or something else.
It couldn’t be us. We worked too fucking well together.
Maybe it was the fact that Rome had stopped over and instead of us fighting, we’d sat down and talked business over a beer.
Whatever it was, I took my time fucking away her anxiety instead of dwelling on it.
I found that taking my time was more difficult than expected though. I had wanted to own her for so long, and damn, my body had missed hers. She had always said we were at war with each other or whispered things like, “I can’t keep fighting you.”
My girl didn’t understand she had just been fighting herself. She wanted to keep that recklessness of being with me bottled up in a neat little color-neutral package.
Her vibrance needed to shine though, and I made sure it would.
The next afternoon, Aubrey buzzed around her kitchen, not making eye contact with me and barely responding to my touch.
After only about two minutes, I found my anxiety rising so much that when she tried to open the refrigerator, I shot my hand out to hold it closed from behind her.
She looked over her shoulder, “Excuse me?”
“I’m not moving my hand until you tell me what’s going on. You’re jumpy as hell and it’s making me jumpy. I don’t do jumpy, Whitfield. This is supposed to be a vacation before my app launch this weekend.”
She scrunched up her face. “A vacation for you? You’ve been working this whole time!”
“I’m working much less here than I normally do. I consider this a vacation.”
“You should probably reevaluate your work habits. You work too much and this app launch isn’t going to give you any more time to yourself—”
I grabbed her by the waist and yanked her up against me. “You’re changing the subject. Answer my damn question.”
She huffed out a breath and looked toward the ceiling. “I’m still trying to figure out how much we can trust each other.”
I wanted to tell her she could trust me with every bone in her body but words didn’t bring that type of trust. We’d had it before, and I’d broken it. I’d broken both of us.
I was ready to put us back together, fix what was broken, earn back that trust, and have her as mine forever, but I knew my plans over the next couple of weeks would test everything we’d ever built. We had to get through that first.
So, I stayed silent.
She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. “Right. I get it. We can’t promise each other anything, but this isn’t about me and you. I have plans tonight and—”
“If you think you’re leaving to go do something without me while I’m here visiting you, you’re mistaken, Whitfield.”
She glared at me. “I was going to give you the choice of coming with me or staying here while I took Rome’s truck to go—”
“We’ll take my car.”
She looked out the window. “You have a car here?”
“I store one at Jay’s. I’ll have my drivers bring it over.”
“We can just take Rome’s—”
If I had to hear that guy’s name again. “I’ll drive.”
“You don’t know where we’re going.”
“So, tell me.”
She looked down at her hands that were folded tightly together. “I visit this house out near the reservation sometimes. I’m sure you know. Jay’s gone with me before, and he’s probably mentioned it.”
I nodded, a little dazed from the impact of her actually confiding in me about it all. I’d miscalculated her again.
I expected her to keep her visits tucked away quietly in a box of secrets from me for much longer.
“It’s just …” She cleared her throat before continuing. “The kids there can handle just about anything. Okay? But they can’t handle having a celebrity come in and make empty promises or anything like that. If you come with me, you have to remember that. And … just … they mean a lot to me.”
“I get it.”
“They should mean a lot to everyone, really. They’re kids. Kids are the next generation, and they have so much to offer. They just haven’t been given a chance. And plus, they’re still growing …” she rambled.
I nodded and squeezed her waist to get her attention. “I get it, Peaches.”
“You don’t. Not many do, but I’m going to try to show you.”
We fell into a tense silence after that while she got ready to go. I wondered how the hell I was going to get through the next few hours. I liked kids, but I didn’t know how to act around them.
Aubrey eyed my car when we made our way to her parking lot. “A little much?”
I scoffed. “You grew up with nice cars.”
She pursed her lips. Then said, “This is an Aston Martin, right?”
I nodded and smiled as I opened the door for her. “Let’s go.”
She might have wanted to act like the car wasn’t impressive but an Aston Martin Rapide impressed just about everyone. I saw her drag her hand on the leather before she sat down and her gaze lingered on the sleek black lines of the metal.
Our drive there passed faster than I could have imagined once Aubrey’s admiration for my car faded. She had more important things to discuss, like briefing me on every child. She also went through a list of rules she said were crucial to a successful visit.
As we drove up to the house, a squad car’s lights spun round and round. Aubrey barely waited for my car to pull to a stop before she muttered, “What the hell?” and jumped out.
I followed her into the house where I noted about a half a dozen children huddled in the living room, sitting on shabby furniture. They looked nervous and alert, not watching the TV that blared in the room. Instead, they listened as closely as they could to what the policeman was saying to Aubrey and the older woman wringing her hands in front of him.
“I’m confused. She specifically said she would be here two hours ago. You don’t want to send out a search party and you haven’t tried to go to her mother’s?” Aubrey’s voice shook as she questioned him.
The older woman glared at me as I walked up. “You’re exactly right, Brey. Seems this policeman here doesn’t want to do his job. I tried to call you before. It isn’t a good day for Mr. Fancy Pants, here.”
“I’m Jax Stonewood.” I eyed her, knowing she wouldn’t take my hand if it was offered. So, I offered it to the officer who stood just a bit taller.
“I’m Sheriff Jim Nacotee.” His handshake crushed mine.
I read men like this every day. They wanted empty praise for their title and recognition, for doing something they hadn’t done yet. Men like this I handled every single day.
While the older woman scoffed and Aubrey tried to jump in, I spoke over them both, maintaining my presence and steering control of the situation. “Jim, you know how to do your job. It sounds like someone’s missing from the lineup today.”
He smiled, happy to be talking to someone he thought would side with him. “Happens all the time around here, Mr. Stonewood. These girls aren’t well disciplined. They run away or go off with a group of friends …”
Aubrey cut in, her voice low. “That’s not the case with Ollie. She’s not even a teenager. Do your job and set up a search party. We need to get ahold of her mom too.”
Jim rolled his eyes and winked at me. “Honey, we know how to handle these situations. If she doesn’t turn up by tomorrow and her mom calls, we’ll file a missing persons report, all right?”
The older woman took a step closer to him. “Thousands of reports of missing Native American women and girls have been documented. Thousands more aren’t being documented at all. You want to be a part of that number climbing? A little girl is missing. You want her blood on your hands?”
He rolled his eyes again. “You’re overreacting.” He pivoted pointedly toward me. “Mr. Stonewood, this girl’s mother has had issues with the law before. Drugs.”
I let him continue without responding to his explanation.
He eyed me and shrugged, his whole body moving with the motion. “She probably got caught up in something and just forgot to bring Ollie here.”
Aubrey crossed her arms. “Ollie walks here every day, rain or shine. You’ve had the ability to issue an Amber Alert since 2017 according to the Indian Country Act. If you don’t, I will utilize all of my resources to make it public knowledge that you’re not doing anything to improve the national statistics of women and children going missing under your watch.”
Jim squinted at her and shifted on his feet before jutting out his gut. “You think anyone is gonna believe you, Ms. Whitfield? I don’t mean much disrespect but you and your mom shunned the reservation years ago when you took up with men outside of it.” He waved my way. “I’m doing my job the way I see fit. You don’t get to tell me how to do it.”
Aubrey took a step toward him, but I grabbed her arm. She tried to yank free while I held her close, grabbing her waist and drawing a circle into her bicep, trying to calm her.
When she glanced up at me, nothing was calm though. Ruthlessness, empty and dark and violent, swirled in her eyes. Aubrey resembled her father for the first time ever. Her stare was motivated and lethal.
That look had me pulling her behind me and taking over. “Jim, let’s agree to disagree here.”
“You disagree with me?”
“I’m saying some of us disagree with you. I think we should start with a drop by the mother’s, huh? Let’s do that. Get some answers. Go from there.”
“Sure, sure. I’m going to get to that. We gotta do our due diligence. I’m just preparing you all for what the outcome will be. And if we’d give it a few hours, we probably wouldn’t have to waste our time going over there.”
I wanted to punch his teeth down his throat. I knew every minute counted here and his lack of enthusiasm might cost a little girl her life.
Jim wouldn’t respond well to my candidness though, and I needed him to move. “Let’s just take a ride now. Tell you what, Aubrey and I will take you in my car. Not every day I get to drive over the speed limit in that thing.”
Jim’s eyes lit up and both Aubrey and the older woman looked at me in disgust. “Ma’am, Aubrey and I will call you as soon as we know more.” I pressed a button on my key fob and nodded at Jim, “After you, man.”
I followed him out as Aubrey hugged the older woman and murmured a few encouraging words before she turned to the children. She told them she’d be back soon, and that there was nothing to worry about.
As she caught up to me, she whisper-yelled, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Getting answers and making him move. He’s only going to listen to what he thinks is another man’s reason.”
She was vibrating near me with rage as she walked quickly toward my car. “You better be right, Jax. I swear to God, she’s only seven and if we can’t find her …”
“I’ll tear apart this whole fucking reservation if we can’t, Whitfield, starting with that man sitting in my car.”
She nodded and whispered before she went to get in, “I’ve never been so close to wanting to leave someone for dead than I was with him.”
I didn’t look away from her. “I have. And I’ll do it again and again for you if I have to.”
Her eyes glassed over, and I saw her shiver before she looked away.
Lines were blurring, walls were falling, barriers were toppling and I think we both knew in that moment we would break down everything between us even if it meant others would be hurt in the process.
It was a dangerous thought, one that chilled me to the bone but brought me more comfort than I’d had in a long time.
Driving to the little girl’s house was all a show for the police officer. I chummed it up while speeding as fast as I could to cut down on minutes wasted. Aubrey stayed quiet in the back but the force of her silence spoke louder than words could have.
When we pulled up to the small house, a tiny wind chime moved in the breeze as we hurried to the porch. As we banged on the door, I took in the kid’s shoes lined up below the wind chime. They were worn in but lined up with care.
We heard a scramble and then a very thin woman who looked depleted of life answered the door.
She squinted into the sun and pushed her dark hair from her face, “Yes?”
Aubrey folded her hands together, as she let the officer ask questions about Ollie.
The mom was defensive. She kept the door between herself and us as if we were there to hurt her. “I don’t know where she is. She was supposed to go over to Margie’s.”
The officer nodded like he believed her. “I know. She’s young and probably ran off, right? She do this before?”
The mom’s dark eyes skittered across the lawn behind us, avoiding meeting any of ours. She answered with a whisper, “I don’t know, I was asleep for a little while.”
I saw Aubrey’s knuckles turning white, her nails dug into her skin. We both knew the mother was lying, but it was a matter of getting the truth. The truth from a skittish, abused individual was earned by staying completely composed.
Aubrey had learned that well.
My hand slid into hers, and I rubbed circles over the half-moons that marked her skin where her nails had been.
She breathed in deep and stepped closer to the woman. The woman immediately moved back and pushed the door to just a crack open. “Ollie doesn’t miss days. We document it. She’s always there. She tells us how sweet you are to let her come all the time. We’re just here to make sure we find her alive and well, no other questions asked.”
The woman assessed her for a long time, so long I thought she’d slam the door on us. Finally, she sighed. “Jerry came by.” She cleared her throat and glanced back at me and the cop before she whispered to Aubrey, “He wanted me to go with him somewhere. I told him to leave. He didn’t want to, so I left him in my living room to go lie down.”
Aubrey nodded, her whole body tensing. “Okay. Was Jerry here with Ollie while you were sleeping?”
“I told him to leave and …” Realization dawned finally on the woman’s face. “I … do you think he would have … oh, no. He wouldn’t have taken her?”
The officer took down his address and called it in. He was all business now that he knew the situation was being documented. He stayed behind with the mother to make sure she could talk to authorities.
When we arrived at Jerry’s, Aubrey instantly recognized purple sneakers on the front porch, and I held her back as officers arrived and entered the premises.
“She’s going to be okay.” For once though, I had no idea of the outcome. We’d made it there quickly but criminals had an uncanny ability to be quicker.
She stared at the house. “You’ve never been a liar, Jax. Don’t start now.”
So, I stared at the house with her as I let my hand fall to the thigh opposite the closest to me so I could rub circles along that soft spot that seemed to soothe her.
We’d been here before, in front of a house where devastation probably had occurred, waiting for an outcome we probably didn’t want.
It felt the exact same.
Time slowed.
Sounds faded away.
The red-and-blue lights from the squad car lost their color.
I heard her breathing, mine synced to it.
Her tension vibrated through the air, and the hair on my arms stood up like the vibrations commanded them to.
The difference this time, I kept rubbing circles and kept her close. I knew, this time, nothing would stop me from helping her through the outcome. I’d pick her up wherever she fell.
It was what I was meant to do.
The screen door, tattered and rusted, opened with a drawn out screech. Aubrey was up and running toward it just as I saw a policeman come out holding a stricken little girl’s hand.
The little girl shook her head full of long, dark hair yes and no as they asked her questions. She never opened her mouth, like she’d gone completely mute.
When an officer leaned in to her, she jerked away quickly and glanced around. Aubrey reached her then, and the little girl’s body practically lunged for her.
Her arms went around Aubrey’s neck as Aubrey caught her and fell back into the gravel. Aubrey hugged her so tightly, no one would have been able to separate them even if they tried.
When the officer stepped toward them, Aubrey grew two sizes, ready to envelop the little girl with her body as a shield of indestructible love. No one was allowed in that shield she’d built around her and the girl, not even me.
When she lifted her head to take in those around her, glistening emeralds with so much determination stared back at us all.
I was wrong to think her eyes shone like her father’s. They were both vicious, but hers were more threatening. They held the look of a mother protecting her child. Dangerous. Fierce. Merciless. It was the first time I saw her ready to lose everything.
It made me want to have children with her. Want to protect her protecting others, and it made us both more dangerous than we’d ever been before.
