Inevitable: Chapter 46

The weather cooperated as we walked to the launch party. The breeze picked up just enough to cool off the crowd even as the sun shined down through intermittent clouds.

As we made our way to where he leaked the launch location, we saw swarms of people dressed for a concert. I hadn’t read much about what exactly the concert would consist of but Katie and Vick must have known what to expect because my outfit, and their own, fit right in with the crowd.

We looked like the epitome of summertime girls. Katie and I had a ruthless twist to our outfits. My tank top was tight but a light green that brought out my eye color. It was cut on the sides to show more skin and pinned together with little sparkly buttons. It drew attention in a subtle, sexy, sort of unforgiving way. My jeans were a boyfriend cut that sat low on my waist and were ripped in so many places they could barely be called jeans. With stilettos and smoky eye shadow, I hoped I looked ready to kill, because I was.

We pushed through the throngs of people. The campus’s epically large hill was covered with fans, and the streets that sidelined the stage were filled. From above, I saw drones taking in the sight and it must have been a great one. I’d never seen this many people flood the area.

Jax was notorious for having amazing openers for his concerts, but surprisingly, he took the stage first. He let the crowd roar on and on for a time and looked over the streets and campus. The sight might have humbled him, or maybe it just built his ego. I couldn’t be sure what someone with so many fans felt up there.

I’d have felt panic, fear, anxiety, and a need to hyperventilate.

He probably felt all that with a rush of adrenaline and excitement. His smile shined bright and genuine as he raised his hands and motioned for the crowd to quiet down. Then, his voice boomed over the speakers, filled with authority and amusement. ‘All right, come on guys. You have to be quiet if you want to hear the damn songs.’

The crowd just responded with louder cries, and I completely got it. He stood there in a tight black T-shirt and jeans that looked so good on him, I knew they must have cost a fortune. Somehow, they looked faded and worn on their own though. Like he’d just come from a stroll in the park and was somehow still the perfect man you wanted to serenade you.

It was a stark contrast to the suits he wore most of the time and could easily play to the idea of the app. This was their artist, away from the everyday working grind, here to stroll through the park with them and sing the songs they wanted.

He waved for more silence and the crowd finally started to listen. Jax chuckled and thanked them all again. “My family’s front and center to see you all fawn over me today. I’m a little embarrassed that you’re making it so easy.”

He pointed to where the Stonewoods were. They’d been fenced in and security was all around them, typical for the infamous American family. Jax had asked me to be there with them, and Nancy Stonewood called, along with Jay, to try and persuade me. Now, more than ever, I was so happy I hadn’t taken them up on the offer.

Instead, we’d pushed through the crowd to a building where security let us in. They directed us up to a suite where we could watch from above.

I stared down at the family I thought I knew.

Did they all know about my trust fund? I wanted to scream at Jay to tell me what he knew, but sometimes it was better to be kept in the dark. Truths and honesty between best friends hurt sometimes more than the omission. I wanted our friendship untainted for just a bit longer.

As for Mr. and Mrs. Stonewood, even Jett who’d always handled my investments of the fund, I’d have to find a way to forgive them. Their generosity and compassion to try to help me had tainted their rationale.

Jax and forgiving him, that was different.

Maybe he knew that. As he glanced up at our building and straight to the window where I stood, we locked eyes. We were close enough that I could read the strain on his face, I could see it simmering there. I just didn’t know if it was the simmer before a concert or if it had started when he’d found out I’d gone to see my father.

His eyes snapped back to the crowd and he mumbled back to his band, “Let’s give them what they want.”

The first strum of his guitar quieted the crowd so much, I swear I heard the lapping of the lake nearby and the whoosh of the wind. The sun had started to set as Jax and his band mesmerized the crowd with the start of their set. No words flowed through the speakers. They let the instruments have their time for the introduction.

The slow build worked in his favor because when they stopped to let his voice come in completely acapella, I honestly saw some in the crowd start to weep.

The first song was about waking up to your lover and living that small moment to the fullest before you left them for the day. Some had argued it could have been forever. I wasn’t sure what he meant by it either. He’d written it after leaving me. So, I imagined it had been about him leaving me for good and my heart broke, shattered, and disintegrated every time I heard it.

Today, for the first time, hearing it live transported me to our mornings together. I wanted to lie in his arms forever. Yet I knew I never would again.

People mingled around me in the suite, talking about how everything was going smoothly. These were his close friends, ones that had seen him in concert before. They maybe weren’t as mesmerized, but I couldn’t look away.

Song after song stabbed my heart. Some were ones I’d known from the day we started walking down to the lake together. Some were ones I’d heard over the years. Some were completely new to me and everyone in the crowd leaned in close, trying to memorize every word and absorb the enigma that was Jax Stonewood.

His heart was on the line with each song. He loved the music, bled the music, and died for the music. One of his friends leaned in close to me at one point and said, “I can’t believe he’ll leave the world holding this talent hostage.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t think he’ll perform again. The fame isn’t what he wants. He did this for the launch, so he can have a part of it without all of it.”

I understood but didn’t know how to respond. His friend was a high-profile musician as well. So, there was no denying Jax had the talent and that he may never share it with anyone again. That was his choice.

I shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. At least we have today …”

Katie, Rome, and Vick came to stand beside him. I knew they’d given me space as I watched him, but they seemed to realize they had a moment as I talked with his friend.

Katie shoulder bumped me as his friend faded back into his own world, “It’s going well, but it’s almost over. He’ll probably be up here after to celebrate.”

The warning in her voice was clear. If I wasn’t ready and if I didn’t want an audience, we needed a better plan than being near his close friends.

She kept going. “I could intercept him for you to talk in private but I vote for you telling his ass off in front of everyone.”

Vick was shaking her head no, and Rome oddly kept silent like he couldn’t decide which side he was on.

“What I have to say won’t take long.” I’d hidden from crowds by doing the right thing for so long, I just didn’t care who heard or where I said it at that point. I was here, he would be too, and I didn’t intend to make a scene. “Let’s not complicate it.”

They all nodded, but none of them seemed convinced. I turned back toward the window. For once, I wasn’t going to worry about how convinced they were or weren’t.

We all listened to Jax who announced that a few more surprises were coming but he had to sing just this last song. He smiled to the crowd but when he looked up toward me, his glare was obvious, “It’s one all of us know but one I always save to see if I can really perform it the right way for you. Today, cut me some slack. It’ll be a little different.”

The band quieted and didn’t join him like they normally did when he started the introduction to “Sweet Sin.” He hummed with his guitar and then a violinist joined him on stage. The high notes from the instrument added an eerie sort of darkness to the melody and when his voice joined it, the effect sent chills down my spine.

Boldly, he changed the words from love to pain. His voice twisted and scraped like gravel grating on my heart as he built to the hook.

The words had changed so much. They eviscerated me, cutting deep in my soul. This was why he had looked at me with cold determination. This was why he glanced up again as he sang those words and his eyes got colder and colder.

I stared back just as coldly, I hoped.

The battle between us had just begun.

The screaming after his set finished rivaled the Super Bowl, I swear. Jax went down to meet his family. They walked into our building together where the media and crowds tried to swarm them. It took a while for Jax and Jay to enter the room upstairs, but it looked like the rest of his family had taken a private exit.

Jax and his band instantly had the women and men he’d invited crowd him with congratulations.

The place had turned into the equivalent of a backstage party that I didn’t want to be in attendance for. With the concert still going on and Taylor Swift now taking the stage to say she was, of course, backing one of the best artists in history with his new app, it was hard to hear or comprehend anything.

Jay pushed through the crowd of people to get to me. He didn’t say anything, just moved in to hug me tightly.

I knew he knew. He’d called about a hundred times. I just didn’t want to address it with anyone yet. He pulled back and held my face in his hands so I could look up at him. “When you’re ready, I’m ready, Brey.”

I nodded and held back the tears I could have shed from just those few simple words.

He stepped back like he knew I needed the space or maybe he knew Jax did because all of a sudden, Jax appeared in back of him, moving toward me with purpose.

Without addressing anyone else, he grabbed my arm. The shock from his touch jolted with pain this time. Not lust, not want, not desire.

“We need to talk,” he stated.

The magnetism between us had flipped and my body wanted to repel him. I didn’t protest though. I walked along beside him without looking back at anyone else.

This moment, this downfall was ours alone. Anger and betrayal pumped through my blood, building my body up to attack him.

I was so coiled, so pushed to the brink, so teetering on the edge that every camera could have been flashing lights on me, and it wouldn’t have mattered.

When we rounded a corner to a small seating area somewhat closed off from the room, he spun me so I faced him. “What the fuck happened today?”

I lifted my chin. “A lot. Where would you like me to start?”

His eyes widened like he couldn’t believe I snapped back at him. “From the beginning, apparently. Since I was under the impression that after we slept together last night, you weren’t going to do anything without me.”

“I don’t know where you got that impression,” I countered.

“Oh, I don’t know. When I was buried inside you and there weren’t any fucking protests about not going without me.”

I stuttered at his callousness. “When you were … I’m sorry … excuse me?” I barely kept my voice from rising. “I don’t have to protest or confirm anything with you, Jax.”

“No, I guess you don’t. I guess that’s not the type of relationship we have, is it, Whitfield?”

“The type of relationship we have? You want to talk about relationships? You want to talk about how deceitful you have been this whole time?” I took a step toward him, so sick of the lies hanging over our heads. “You couldn’t tell me after all these years that you’d been investing for him. Or that you knew I was investing your parents’ money into the reservation?”

A small jerk escaped his body as he blinked with the words I spoke. He hadn’t known I knew. That was my first sure sign of that. He recovered quickly though, as if a little jab of a knife could slow him down.

His counterattack was faster and it slashed at my heart. “So what? You went to see him without me and found out things you didn’t want to learn. Surprise, surprise.” He slowly clapped.

“You are so disrespectful.”

“I could have told you that was going to happen, Whitfield.”

Maybe it was the callousness or lack of feeling in his voice that got to me. Maybe it was the sheer lack of remorse. I couldn’t say for sure. All I knew was the thin thread holding me together didn’t just unravel. It snapped.

‘You’re a real fucking asshole, you know that, Jax?’

‘Me? I’m the asshole even though I took you the day before to go see him? I took you, wanted to be there for you, Peaches. I needed this to be something we did together.’

“You needed? This wasn’t about you.” I pushed my finger into his chest. “This was about me. Me facing my father.”

“I should have been there with you.”

‘Why? So, you could control what was said? So, I wouldn’t find out?’

‘You can’t be serious with that accusation.’

‘What if I am? What’s the point in investing in his company? You’ve basically been helping him stay afloat all these years. Helping him! Not hurting. Not leaving him alone. Not considering how that would make anyone feel. How that would make me feel. What’s wrong with you?’ I emphasized the question, so sick with the idea of them in business together.

‘Whitfield, there’s a lot you don’t know …”

“Because you’ve never told me!” I screamed as I threw my hands up. “And I can’t help but wonder why.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Is this all a game to you or are you so selfish that investing in his company actually helped you, made you richer and that’s all you care about?”

He stepped toward me like he wanted me to take back what I’d said immediately. “Don’t fuck with me, Whitfield. You know better than to say that shit to me.”

“I don’t though. I don’t know anything about you anymore. What I thought I knew isn’t real.”

“Cut the bullshit. You’re fishing for something to be mad at when you know you don’t have to. Don’t let this ruin us again.’

‘How can you think there’s even an us when you were never once truthful with me?”

‘Everything we’ve had has been the truth, Whitfield.’

His voice held a warning but I pushed on. ‘I can’t possibly believe that now. Not after all the lies.”

“Peaches, you know what we have is real.”

“It can’t be.” I whispered, letting go of that fragile little thing that was our relationship.

“Yes, it can.” He stepped toward me but I stepped back. “I fucking love you, woman.”

“No!” I screamed. “Don’t say those three words to me like this. You did it just as badly before.”

“I meant it then just like I mean it now.”

“You don’t know how to mean it. You don’t know how to love me. I don’t believe it.”

“You better because I’m not fucking around.”

“How can I believe it, Jax? It would make me an idiot. Fool me once, but more? I’m not that naive.’

‘You’re being paranoid just like him.’

His last words rang over and over in my head as I stared at him. Those words that so ruthlessly compared me to the man I hated. They were my only excuse, my reason, my only justification for acting how I did after.

I don’t remember flying at him. I just know I did. Katie said she was proud and Vick said I looked unhinged. I reached him before anyone could stop me and the slap could have been heard throughout the campus.

Jax’s head flew to the side with the impact. Then he turned back to face me. His eyes blazed with such emotion I wasn’t sure if I would have chosen that or the apathy I saw in them before.

He rubbed his cheek. Then he whispered with a voice that seemed so dead and lifeless after being so full of life during his concert, “Like father, like daughter then, Aubrey Whitfield.’

My friends, the people who seemed to show up even when it didn’t pay to, took away my opportunity to hit him again.

Rome was there wrapping his arms quickly around me before I could unleash the violence that took over me.

I screamed at Jax, “We’re done. This is over. Don’t ever talk to me again.”

I fought Rome as he carried me away, wanting to inflict physical pain on Jax. Rome kept whispering, “Calm down. Calm down, baby girl. It’ll go viral in the media.”

Katie said later that instead of settling down, an animal force took over, Vick said she was sure she imagined how hard I fought, my stare locked on Jax.

I suppose I’d been fed up with keeping appearances for so long that lashing out finally felt right, liberating, like I shouldn’t have held back even if I wanted to. I know I lunged for his face, ready to claw him, arms and fingers stretched, ready to tear him down and make him feel the pain I felt. It wasn’t just what I wanted, it was the only thing I could do. And yet, Rome held me off, pulling me back away from him and the circle of people that had formed.

Through the haze of what I remember, one particular image stood out, clear as blood on white linen. Jax’s stone-cold face as he looked on at me fighting to get to him. He didn’t look scared or sad or remorseful. He didn’t look like any emotion at all.

Then, Jay walked right up to him and punched him in the face so hard, everyone gasped.

I stopped fighting Rome.

Jax’s head snapped to his brother, his mouth bloody. He wiped the trickle of blood from the corner and said low, ‘I’ll let you have that one, little brother …’

Jay cut him off, ‘I told you not to fuck this up.’ Jay glanced my way. I saw pain as deep as mine, like he couldn’t believe his brother had done this.

I cracked then. My body convulsed and instead of fighting in Rome’s arms, I crumpled. The sobs that racked me were ugly and brutal.

I felt the loss of someone I’d loved for so long, it was like death, plain and simple. Our relationship was dead, and the vision of who he painted himself to be was dead too.

I heard him call my name. Maybe I imagined his voice cracking and finally sounding like he gave a damn, but Rome was carrying me away by then.

I wasn’t looking back.

Not for anything.