The next week passed. I made it through just fine.
Katie saw me rolling with the punches and although she looked a bit worried, she nodded like this was the way to do it.
Vick pleaded with me to let my feelings out. Rome said I needed to heal in my own way, that it would come with time.
I told them all I was fine and that this heartbreak wasn’t like last time.
And it wasn’t.
The day my class resumed, I got up to get ready and found Jay in my living room.
“Have you packed to get back to LA yet?” I asked as I started getting my coffee ready. It wasn’t a chai tea or even a coffee with sugar mixed in. It was black. Bold. And straight to the point.
“I’ll pack my bags when I think you’re ready for me to leave.”
I laughed a little. “I’m good, Jay.”
“Yeah, so you keep saying. I think you’re too good though, which is bullshit.”
I nodded at his assessment. To everyone, over these past few days, it must have appeared that way. I hadn’t wallowed or cried like I’d done in the moment. I wasn’t dwelling on losing Jax like I had the first time.
I wasn’t sad, I’d told them over and over. And it wasn’t a lie.
I was numb. Dead. Empty. Those were better words.
I’d told myself I wouldn’t fall for him again and I had. I’d fallen so hard and so deep into that hole of love, I couldn’t see a way out.
The heartbreak poured into that hole too, like oil and tar pouring into an ocean. It was inescapable and toxic. I’d tried to claw my way out of the hole but the heartbreak stuck to me, pulled me down even deeper and suffocated me.
Worse, it infected everyone around me. I saw the way my friends looked at me, like I was so fragile and breakable.
I shook my head at Jay. “I’m moving on, Jay.”
“No one moves on that fast from what you just went through.”
“Do most people go through what I went through?”
He leaned forward on the couch and put his head in his hands before he ran them through his dark hair. When he did that, he reminded me so much of his brother, I almost winced in pain.
When he stood and looked at me though, his blue eyes held compassion and love for me, unlike Jax’s last cold stare.
Jay had never been one to hold a grudge or get so mad that he’d freeze someone out with just a look. Jax, on the other hand had perfected that.
“I don’t know another damn soul that has fucked with a person the way you two fuck with each other.”
I just hummed in agreement as I poured coffee and held up the pot to see if he wanted any.
He nodded. “And I also don’t know another damn soul who’s gone through surviving the trauma you both have. I know you’re strong, but it doesn’t mean you can get over all this so fucking quick. I witnessed how hurt you were last time …”
I cut him off. “Last time, we were young, and I didn’t know what I was getting into. This time, I made the decision knowing what could happen. I took that risk willingly.”
“It doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt that it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to.”
“True.” I nodded and handed him a mug of coffee. “But I’ll live. I’m just not going to fold under the pain this time.”
“You never folded,” he balked, like a good friend protecting me against my own criticism.
“I did and I don’t feel inclined to again. I learned my lesson, Jay.”
He leaned against the counter and took a sip of his coffee as he studied me. “What lesson is that?”
“Love doesn’t take sympathy just because you were heartbroken before. I should have known better. Love gives us what we deserve.”
“He deserves to have the shit beat out of him,” he grumbled into his mug.
“You already punched him.”
“And he didn’t fight back. You know why? He knew he fucked up.”
I smiled. “You should be happy he didn’t fight back. You need your pretty face.”
He scoffed. “I can handle my own against my brother.”
I raised my eyebrows.
He pushed off the counter and moved to pinch my side but I sidestepped him. “Don’t be a Sass Pot. I’m a damn good fighter.”
I shrugged and took my coffee to the couch. “If you say so.”
He followed and sat down so close, I fell into his side. “I know so.”
I eyed his large body next to me. “Personal space ever been an issue for you?”
“Not when I’m next to a hot piece of ass like yours.”
I rolled my eyes and switched on the TV. Of course, the entertainment news blared over the screen because it was Jay’s job to know exactly what was going on in the industry. He reached to grab the remote quickly and change the channel but I moved it out of his way.
“It’s fine, Jay.” I stared at the TV as they showed picture after picture of Jax and my family on the screen. “I know what the news has to say. I’ve been through it before.”
And I had been through it before. He just expected me to react to it the same way I had in the past. I crumbled under the media last time and retreated into a dark lonely shell I’d built for myself.
Now, the host on the TV waved at her face while she gazed at a picture of Jax. “He’s the hottest bachelor who apparently is back on the market, and he’s worth millions, ladies. Last week, during his launch, sources claim he fought with his brother’s ex, Aubrey Whitfield. She’s the lucky woman who has been with not one but two Stonewoods, it seems. They say she broke both of their hearts, and I am willing to bet—”
Jay grabbed for the remote and got it this time. He switched the TV off and gawked at me. “I think you’re turning into a masochist.”
I rolled my lips between my teeth before responding, “If I am turning into one, at least I’ll be an informed one when I get swarmed by paps later out there.’
Jay tensed a little, which meant there were still paparazzi waiting to get my picture somewhere outside. “It’ll all blow over, Brey. Give it a week, and they’ll be on to a new story.”
“I’m aware.” They would be on to a new story, and I would be stuck with this same one, trying to get on with my life.
“If it’s any consolation, he hasn’t left his penthouse in the city. He asked if you were—”
I held up my hand. “I don’t want to know, Jay.”
It took every ounce of control I had not to scream for more information. We hadn’t spoken to one another. I hadn’t called him, and he’d only called once. I ignored it and when the voice mail came through, I deleted it before even listening.
I could want to know everything about him, what he was doing, how he was feeling, but it wouldn’t help. I had to move on.
I jumped up. “I have to get to class. Last week before I can officially graduate.”
Jay smiled. “I can’t believe you aren’t walking in the commencement ceremony.”
‘Yes, you can because you know I hate the attention.”
He shook his head as he stood up. “My driver can drop you off on the way back to my place. I need to talk to you about my dad and Jett’s proposal anyway.”
I agreed to drive with him but didn’t agree to Senior Stonewood’s proposal.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Jay pushed on my way to class.
“I have to find a way to pay back your parents for the trust—the charity they gave me. I can’t take a handout of a job from your dad too.”
Jay breathed deep, pulling in air like he was trying to suppress the anger that wanted to blow out of him instead. “You. Are. Not. Charity. Brey.”
“Easy for you to say. They’re your parents. That money actually could have potentially been yours.” I winced. “Oh, God. I probably ate away at your trust fund, Jay.”
He yelled to the driver to keep going around the block when he stopped in front of the building for my class. Then his eyes snapped to me. “Get fucked, Brey. My parents have a shit ton of money. That money would have just gone into the fucking business and made us more money.”
“All the more reason I need to pay it back.”
He shook his head, frustrated. “Alice, call Dad.”
My eyes widened. “No, Alice! Don’t call him.”
“Jay,” Alice said through the speakers. “I am calling your dad.”
Jay chuckled and patted my thigh. “Alice only listens to who she’s programmed for.”
When Senior Stonewood’s voice boomed out over the speakers, I eyed the door handle. I could have jumped out and made a run for it but Jay locked the doors when he saw me contemplating it.
“Dad, Brey thinks your job offer is charity.”
My eyes bugged out at him as I shoved him hard in the shoulder.
“She should know I wouldn’t risk someone being a part of my business for charity.”
He didn’t know I was in the car. I mouthed to Jay that I wasn’t there. I motioned that I would slit his throat if he mentioned it.
“Brey’s here. Can you talk some sense into her?’
“Oh, good,” Senior Stonewood said, his tone flat like he didn’t care one way or the other. “Brey, you’ll take the job. We can have you start in a few weeks. When do you graduate?”
I cleared my throat. “I’m done with class after this week but it doesn’t matter, Mr. Stonewood. I owe you and Mrs. Stonewood enough as it is. I appreciate the offer—”
“You owe us for what?” he questioned.
“The funds you said were from my mother and for all Mrs. Stonewood did for me when—”
“You owe me and my wife for taking care of our family?” Mr. Stonewood’s voice was frigid. So cold, I shivered back into my seat.
“That’s kind of you to refer to me as family,” I started, eyeing Jay for help.
He lifted his eyebrows and shrugged like I deserved whatever I had coming to me.
“I don’t care about being kind, Brey. I don’t waste my time on niceties to make someone feel good. You’re family. You think you owe me for giving a person in my family a trust? Fine. I need time off and Jett will need an intern to help. You can pay me back by being that intern for Jett.”
“I don’t think me working for Stonewood Enterprises is a good idea. Jax works—”
“He works in a different department. And you can work remote when need be.”
I shoved Jay again who had started to laugh quietly from his side of the SUV.
“I just don’t think … It’s probably a better idea …”
“I have to get back to work. Jett can iron out the details with you later, and if my wife calls, don’t offend her with the idea of paying us back.”
Before I could reply, I found out where Jax got his habit of hanging up on people from. Alice announced that the call had ended. Jay laughed loudly while I sat there with my mouth hanging open.
When he sobered enough, he leaned back in his seat. “Dad doesn’t really take no for an answer.”
“I know that, Jay!” I moved to shove him again but he held up his hands in surrender. “This is all your fault. I have to do this now.”
“Yup.” He patted my back as I leaned forward to put my face in my hands. “You’ll be fine, Sass Pot. This will all work out. In the meantime, you need to get to class.”
I don’t remember what was said or done in class that day. I was playing out scenarios of how to get out of the internship.
Every scenario had me cowering under Senior Stonewood’s demands though.
It wasn’t the path I had conjured up for myself. For so long, I thought I’d invest my own money and help Margie with the kids. I thought I could make a difference that way.
Now, I was indebted to Senior Stonewood, to the whole Stonewood family really. Every way I looked at it, the internship would help me pay them back.
So, I succumbed to the idea.
