FUCKING HELL.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had my ass handed to me so badly, but as JT stormed off through the courtyard, and the crowd around us dispersed, I couldn’t help but feel a little proud of him.
Don’t get me wrong, I also felt like the complete and utter piece of shit he’d just called me. But something about his fiery response gave me the tiniest sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he still felt something for me.
Even if it was homicidal in nature.
I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair, and when I caught sight of several stragglers gossiping amongst each other, I leveled them with my best “get the fuck out of here” glare and was happy to see it still had some punch to it.
God, talk about a shit show. Who knew the golden boy had such a temper on him? I’d figured he’d be pissed off; of course he would be. East hadn’t exactly broken the news gently. But in my defense, this bet had turned into something I’d never seen coming. How could I? I wasn’t the type who fell for a guy within a month of knowing him. They weren’t usually around longer than a night for me to feel anything other than horny.
But JT? I was pretty sure part of me fell the second I sat down next to him that first day in class.
Fuck.
Annoyed at myself for letting this situation get out of hand, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and headed out of the courtyard. I wasn’t about to stick around here all day and have everyone stare at me.
I called our driver and headed out to wait for him in our usual spot, and as the van pulled up at the curb, I went to open the door, but it slid open instantly.
“Shit,” Donovan said when we almost butted heads. “Hey, man, you leaving?”
I moved aside so he could step out. “Yeah. Let’s just say today can fuck right off.”
Donovan grimaced and, instead of getting out, moved back to his seat and gestured for the empty one beside him. “Okay, get in. Sounds like you need some ‘van time.’”
I snorted and shook my head. Donovan’s “van time” was legendary, like therapy on wheels, because despite all the crap we gave him about his model reputation, Donovan was a really good listener. He was also one of two out of our group of friends who’d ever actually been in a real relationship.
I slid the door shut, and before the van even began to move, I was reaching for the bourbon.
“So, Mr. LaRue, what brings you by my office this morning?” Donovan’s pearly-white, million-dollar smile was difficult to ignore as he lounged back in the leather seat.
I took a sip of my drink and rested my head back against the seat, wondering where the hell to start, then I just blurted out, “I fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.” Donovan nodded. “I gathered that much. You’re drinking before noon, and that’s excessive, even for you.”
I looked out the window at the taxicabs and cars that came to a stop alongside us at a red light. “Have you seen East this morning?”
“No. I had a fitting and was just getting to school when I ran into you. Did you two have a lovers’ spat?”
I turned, frowning. “There was a lovers’ spat, all right, but not between me and East.”
Donovan’s blond hair fell across his forehead. “JT?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, hell, he found out about the bet, didn’t he?”
I downed the rest of the bourbon in a long swallow, welcoming the burn, and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Fuck.” Donovan let out a sigh and shook his head. “I’m guessing he didn’t take it too well?”
“That might just be the understatement of the century with the way he reamed me a new one in the courtyard a few minutes ago.” When Donovan’s mouth fell open, I nodded. “Give it an hour. I’m sure it’ll be all over social media.”
“Holy shit, West. That means the dean is going to—”
“Find out what we did? Find out what I did to her precious son? I know. I’m fucked. Or, incidentally, not fucked anymore. That was out of the equation the second East opened his big mouth and threw me under the bus.”
“Threw you under the bus?” Donovan’s lips quirked. “Weren’t you the one driving the bus?”
I opened my mouth to deny that, but I was the one who’d accepted the bet, and I was the one who’d been adamant I could win. So I didn’t really have anyone to blame but myself. My intentions had been shit from the get-go.
Eyeing my empty glass, I debated having another, but that wouldn’t do shit to help me figure out how to get out of this mess. Though the temptation to numb everything was strong.
Donovan seemed to sense my internal debate and reached for my glass, setting it back on the bar.
“So what’s bothering you the most?” he said. “The fact that you have another strike against the dean coming down the pipe or that JT called you out in front of everyone?”
I needed that second glass.
Sighing, I rubbed a hand over my face and admitted, “Neither.”
Donovan was silent for a long moment. “What does that mean?” he finally asked.
“It means…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have the words to explain that spending time with JT had only made me want to be around him all the time. That I missed him when he wasn’t around. That I checked my phone constantly in case he called or sent a message.
“Oh my God,” Donovan said quietly. “You fell for him, didn’t you?”
I didn’t have to say anything. I knew it was written all over my face. The reason I didn’t give a shit about who’d been watching or what they were going to say during my character assassination was because no one else’s opinion mattered but JT’s.
“It doesn’t matter. He hates me.”
“West, if you like the guy, it sure as hell does matter.”
“Did you miss the part where I said he hates me? That I fucked him over and he won’t even look at me now?”
“I did. But I can only assume that if you were falling for JT, he was doing the same for you, and that’s why he’s so upset. Did you apologize?”
I shot him a look. “I didn’t exactly get a chance to do that.”
He shrugged, crossing his ankle over his knee. “Then you didn’t try hard enough.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“I’ve left him a thousand fucking messages and voicemails, I tracked him down to the library—”
“West, if you really care about the guy, beat down his goddamn door until he listens to you. Grovel on your knees—which I’d pay to see, by the way.”
I rolled my eyes, but there was no malice when I said, “Piss off.”
“Ever heard of a grand gesture? ’Cuz you’re gonna need to do that.”
“Fuck, now you’re just speaking in gibberish. I thought you knew what to do about relationships, considering you’ve been in one.”
Donovan let out a low whistle. “Wow. Weston LaRue and the dean’s son in a relationship. Sorry, you’ve just shocked the shit out of me. And probably everyone else at Astor.”
“No one is more surprised than me, trust me.”
“Do you mind if I ask how it happened? Because the last I knew, you were still looking at JT like a bet—”
“Stop saying bet.”
“Okay, as a…piece of ass? Is that better?”
“Van—”
“I’m kidding. Don’t give me those crazy eyes. I’m on your side, whatever it is.”
I scooted forward to rest my elbows on my knees, dropping my forehead on my palms. “You shouldn’t be. I’m a dick.”
“The first step to forgiveness is acknowledgment of bad behavior.”
I lifted my head. “I thought that was the first step to recovery.”
“My van talk, my rules.”
Staring down at the ground between my feet, I couldn’t stop picturing the pure rage on JT’s face. But behind all that had been disappointment. Hurt. It made me sick to my fucking stomach.
“He didn’t deserve that,” I said. “I never should’ve made that bet. And the second things changed, I should’ve called it off.”
“And when did they change?”
I thought back over the last few weeks. Like the night on the roof when we’d first kissed and I hadn’t been able to get it out of my head. All the times after when he’d opened up to me with a vulnerability and curiosity that was not only surprising, but stoked my own interest. So many moments where it would make sense that I started to look at JT differently. But it was none of those.
It had been the first day at Astor when I crashed King’s class. The moment I’d looked into his big brown eyes, I was fucked.
“Daaaamn, you’ve got it bad.”
“You know, these van talks used to be more helpful than judgmental, if I recall.”
“That’s because you’ve never cared enough before to feel judged. That fact that you do now is a step in the right direction, if you ask me.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to wish I hadn’t.” I scrubbed a hand over my face.
“Aw, don’t be like that. Think of it this way, you could be sitting here with East or Daire…”
“I thought you were trying to cheer me up. The last thing I want to do is hang out with the guys—any of them. I’ve already been subjected to one round of public humiliation. I don’t really feel like listening to them laugh their asses off at me.”
“I hear you—well, maybe head somewhere quiet and think about what you’re going to do next?”
“You mean other than throw myself out of the van and into oncoming traffic?”
Donovan laughed. “Yeah, other than that. Because if I had to guess, JT’s probably fond of that pretty face you have there.”
“I doubt it. With the way he was raging at me, I think he was about one punch away from rearranging it.”
Donovan brought his phone up and started scrolling. “Damn it, it’s still not up.”
“Seriously? You’re looking for a video?”
“I know you said give it an hour, but we all know the way gossip hits about us. Especially gossip like this. I figured five minutes, maybe— Oh, oh, there it is…”
I glared at my friend, though I was seriously reconsidering that title now, as the sound from the video filled the van.
“I was going to tell you about it—” Yep, there was my voice, just as pathetic and desperate as I figured I’d sounded. JT’s scathing response was next, and it was just as brutal the second time around as it had been the first.
“Buuuurn,” Donovan said, earning a glare from me, and at least the fucker had the good grace to look somewhat apologetic. “Sorry, but that was harsh. Oh no,” he said, looking back to the phone. “Don’t do it, West. Don’t…touch him,” he ended lamely as JT’s final words rang through the van. I snatched the phone out of the asshole’s hand.
“Give me that.” I switched the damn thing off and tossed it back at him. “I told you he hated me. I don’t need a reminder.”
“On the plus side, it really helped me understand the situation.”
I flipped him the bird, and Donovan laughed.
“Dude, quit with all this woe-is-me crap, would you? We already have Daire to darken our day—we don’t need you to as well. The way I see it, this can all be fixed with a few simple steps.”
I rolled my eyes. “This I’m just dying to hear.”
“You do want to win him back, don’t you?”
“Of course I fucking do.”
“Then first, you need to go and grovel. Just like I said. None of this ‘I’m sorry’ in a voicemail. Go to his dorm, get down on your knees, and use your mouth for something other than—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get the point.”
“Do you? I mean, have you ever said you’re sorry before?”
“I’m sorry I got in this van with you right now. Does that count?”
Donovan shrugged. “Baby steps. But you have time; we’ll work on it. Second, you’re going to apologize to the dean—”
“Wait, what? Are you out of your fucking mind? If I even set foot near her office after she hears about this—and she will hear—it won’t just be my ass a Hawthorne has handed me this week, but my balls. When she cuts them off and gives them to me.”
“Don’t care. You have to do it. You have to apologize for the suspension and for fucking her son, but maybe don’t put it that way.”
“You think?”
“Then you’ll be one step closer when JT finally comes around.”
“One step closer to what? My ultimate demise?”
“Nooo, winning him back. JT will be happy, his mom will be happy—”
“And what about his guard dog Caleb? You think he’s not going to be there barking bullshit in JT’s ear about what a piece of shit I am?”
Donovan opened his mouth, but nothing came out as a deep V formed between his brows.
“You didn’t say anything about Caleb.”
“Yeah, well, I am now. Asshole is determined to keep a five-mile West-free zone around JT now that shit has hit the fan.”
Donovan tapped a finger to his chin. “That’s a fucking pickle you’ve got right there, my friend. I got nothing on how to get rid of him, unless Travis moves to Siberia and you personally pay for the ticket.”
“Fat lot of help you are.”
“I solved two out of three of your damn problems. I can’t fix everything. Now it’s up to you to go and show JT you aren’t the total douchebag he thinks you are.”
If only it were that easy. I had a feeling it was going to be anything but that.
