with a small head nod. They are all looking me up and down, fluttering their glued-on lashes at me as they adjust their tits, sitting them real high for the new bird in town.
“I’m sure it’s not as good as yours, but…” She shrugs with a cute little grin as she spills the contents of a baggie on the glass coffee table before the outdoor patio furniture we’re planted on.
I get to it, taking in a few lines off of the glass table immediately for myself. Whatever shit she has is probably weaker than I’m used to anyway. Sitting back, I finally let out a breath, knowing the combination of this shit is about to rock me the way I need.
“Well, if it isn’t punk boy, looking for a new sock to fuck.”
My eyes snap up to see Bran standing above me. The muscles in my neck tighten immediately but then relax. I sometimes forget his name is Brandon, and he’s nothing but a dick-sucking fucktard, looking for acceptance from a tougher crowd whose definition of struggle isn’t being forced to drive a 2019 G-Wagon.
“Wait, hold still!” I say, holding up my hands, centering him between them. “I’m trying to picture you with a personality.”
He scowls, and it’s very reminiscent of Squidward.
“Nah, nevermind. Can’t see it.” I smile, flipping him off.
“Ah, we got ourselves a real jokester here, boys.” he says, looking back at his posse of twats behind him. “Aren’t you supposed to be at some sort of Emo Fest this weekend? Leave the men to handle the ladies while you and your boyfriend go paint your nails black.”
“That’s cute. Real cute. But I got a thing for the ladies,” I sigh, getting comfortable on the couch, grinning at the girls around me who are all looking flirtatiously back. Facing Bran again, I give him a light shrug. “And it seems they got a thing for me, too.”
“Please, if they want a real man, they know where to find one.” He scoffs, puffing his chest like an adorable little pigeon.
“Aw, Brandon,” I say, giving my best fake pity voice. “Don’t be ashamed of who you are…that’s your parent’s job.”
The girls stifle their laughs. I casually kick my feet up on the table before me, wrapping my arms around Tarah and the one sitting to my left as I cock my head back and to the side, donning my infamous shit-eating grin.
“I’ll fuck you up, just wait,” he growls just loud enough for me to hear him.
“Helps if you have a big enough cock to get the job done, I suppose.” I shrug.
Tarah slaps her hand over her mouth, laughing uncontrollably. Bran narrows his eyes at me and I’m living for the fact that the grapevine, in this case, hasn’t failed me. Little prick has a little prick, and apparently I’m not the only one in on this secret.
He brushes past us, glowering as his crew of sheep follow him to find someone weaker to dominate.
The party continues as Tarah and the girls talk and take shots, giggling about the fact that Bran does in fact have a Little Smokie in his pants. I start feeling relaxed, the anxiety from before lifted off of me while my insides electrify, pulsating with a euphoria I’d been missing. Music blares from inside the house, louder than before, and I hear a few people whistling and screaming. I lean forward, looking through the window, and see a crowd forming.
Girls are dancing on the table to the music. How original.
A thought comes to mind. What if it’s Han? Would she be one of those girls that gets fucked up after a fight and lets loose, looking for that stranger to screw? What if she’s up there dancing sexually to the music with guys cupping her ass, rolling their hands down her soft thighs? I’ll fuck somebody up.
I stand up, feeling unsteady, and suddenly forget what I’m doing. Why am I standing? What was I doing? I look back at the girls on the couch. They are slumped back into their seats, chilling with their heads resting back against the outdoor furniture. I look back into the window where the dancing was. No one is on the table anymore. That’s why I got up. The table dancing. It’s like time skipped a beat and I missed something. But how?
I see the scattered remnants of our lines on the glass end table looking like dispersed stars in the reflection of the night sky above. That’s how I got here? We snorted coke. Why are they chilling? We just snorted coke. They should be lit. We should all be lit as fuck.
I stumble my way into the house and find a bathroom. I push my way in as a girl washing her hands screams, pushing around me, running out. I slam the door behind her, needing a moment to myself.
Gripping the counter, I swallow, breathing through my opened mouth and looking deeply at my reflection. My eyes are red as fuck, pupils dilated. This isn’t new, but the sensations flowing through my body are. Nothing about what I’m experiencing is my normal high.
I feel vibrations reverberating through my chest, and warmth in my skull. My brain could be melting or bleeding. Probably bleeding, but at this point, it feels so good.
So good.
So good, I don’t even care.
There’s a throbbing sensation on the right side of my head, behind my eyeball. My eyeball might be mechanical. There could be metal parts that are rusted and just feel like they’re old, when in reality my robot is breaking down. Is that what it feels like to die as a robot? I wouldn’t know. It’s not like I’ve been one before. Or have I?
I’m in the hallway now, only the hallway is slanted. Lights are stretched and elongated with hints of rainbow in the tails. Everything looks tipped on its axis. How did I get here? I was just looking in the mirror and now I’m here. I tip my head up, realizing it’s only slanted because my head was tipped, leaning against the wall.
There she is. It’s Han. My Han.
She’s in front of me now. I never even saw her coming. Fuck, she’s beautiful. She makes me numb with her soothing presence.
“Kai?” She grabs the sides of my face with her hands. “Kai, baby, what’s wrong? Why do you look like that?”
She’s worried. Like really worried, but she called me baby, so it’s cool. She’s making me tired with all her concerns. I close my eyes and sigh, loving the feeling of her hands on my cheeks. So soft and gooey, like warmed caramel. I want to lick her scent off her like a Han flavored lollipop.
“Kai?! What did you take?!” she asks again, shaking my dry head.
I’m dry everywhere. My cornea feels like it could just drop out of my eye like a flake of skin with my next blink. My throat feels like concrete, cracked from the heat of a sweltering L.A. day, but that’s cool. It’s manageable. If I need to feel a tiny bit of pain to feel this high coming through, it’s fucking worth it.
Worth it.
Sex.
Sex is worth it. Even the consequences. So what if Han gets pregnant? I might actually love that idea.
Han pregnant.
Han.
I open my eyes back up and see her. Her face holds that adorable little wrinkle between her brows. I love her so much, I could just fall into her.
“You’re not a girl who gets mad and dances on tables,” I say, with relief, realizing she’s not that kind of girl. “It’s such a white girl thing to do. I’m so proud of you.”
“Fuck, we need to get you out of here,” she says quickly, her eyes darting around wildly as she grabs my hands in hers.
Said eyeball is now oozing. Not crusty but melty and gooey, feeling heated now. Maybe the eye has burst on the mechanical machine and it’s dripping down my numbed, warm face. Does anyone know I’m alive in here? I’m alive in this robot shell of mine. I have a soul.
I scream from my soul.
They can’t hear my soul scream! It’s trapped by this synthetic meat and bone robot! How naïve I am. There’s so much in here and it’s all so disorganized.
I pull Han into my chest, placing my chin on top of her head. I take a breath in, smelling her delicious hair, letting it out with a sigh. There’s no chance she could deceive me. She actually cares about me, even if she struggles with admitting it. I can feel it the deepest part of me.
I will never stop pursuing her. Even if this robot melts down into a pool of molten steel, I’ll haunt her ass until she falls for me. Fucking ghost robot style.
“I fucking love you. Even if you don’t love me. I’ll always love you. You’re my little hamster. I just wanna squeeze the life outta you.”
“Babe?” she asks softly, backing up a bit to look up into my eyes. Her hands rest on my neck, her thumbs stroking my jaw, before speaking slowly and carefully. “What did you take?”
“This might be your first ride, sweetheart, but this ain’t my first rodeo.” I say the phrase, then lower my brows, chuckling to myself. “Déjà vu! Or did I really say that tonight already? Addys and coke, baby. Addys and coke.”
“Kai, open your eyes,” her shaky voice says abruptly.
I’m staring right at her. What is she talking about? Her robot is malfunctioning.
“They’re open.”
“Baby, please, just open them. You’re really scaring me,” she pleads.
I peek through a layer I didn’t know was there. It takes a tremendous force of energy to do it, but once I do, I see the threat lurking behind us.
“Ah, couldn’t sell yourself to the easy ones,” Bran says, coming up behind Han.
Han drops her hands, turning to face him. Her eyes are still worried and I wonder if maybe they’ve always been that way and I just never noticed. I straighten my form, turning to Bran as he steps up to me, forcing Han to take a step back.
“Decided to try for more of a challenge, I see.” He grins, nodding over at Han.
Her lips part as her eyes narrow at him.
“Let me let you in on a little secret.” He leans forward, his mouth next to my ear. “Little miss morbid, obsessed with death over here? Acts like a slut, but don’t let her fool you. She’s a real dick tease.”
No. No, he fucking didn’t.
