dope inside,” I say, looking into the back interior as she drives us away from Hawke’s place.
“I told you,” she flaunts, then smiles as she hits the highway. “I call her Myrtle.”
It’s a vintage 1975 brown Dodge B200 with a dull burnt orange and yellow stripe along the side. The rust forming on the edges of the door and exterior only adds to the rustic, creepy charm. The interior, however, had been redone with matt black painted over the wood paneling and an interesting large skull with dead roses coming out of the eyes and mouth etched on the wall between the windows.
The previous furry carpet was pulled and replaced with a light, pine-wood flooring. There’s a black mini-fridge behind the driver’s seat where a tiny kitchenette sits. A small futon couch sits in the back that I’m told folds out into a bed. Accents of dead and almost dead plants line the space, adding to the morbid look with odd perfection.
One thing I work towards looking past is the stack of white plastic barrels in the corner with a rolled up tarp inside. The shovel and rake hung up on the ceiling doesn’t really make me feel at home either. Is this premeditated murder?
“It’s so…you,” I say, smiling appreciatively as I touch one of the dried out, crunchy roses hanging upside down from the rear-view mirror. “And I’m not even surprised you named her.”
Her eyes watch my hand, and a tiny grin pulls at her lips. She knows I love her and her strange obsessions.
“Where have you been hiding this beast?!”
“It’s always been parked at my apartment complex. You probably just didn’t notice the beauty until it serviced you.”
I see what she’s doing. Little smart ass. She gives me a little sassy smirk as if my entire world didn’t revolve around her from the moment I saw those green eyes in that dingy basement nightclub. Can’t miss that kind of beauty, no matter where she’s parked.
“I’m not gonna lie. I was shocked to see you today,” I say softly, looking over at her cautiously as I change the subject.
After she surprised me at the job site, I finally handed over her shoes, seeing as that she wasn’t running from me, but with me. She followed me and my car back to Hawke’s so I could grab some essentials for our “weekend trip”. Cole’s face said it all. She stared at us with her mouth so agape that Hawke literally came by to push her jaw back into its normal position as we walked past her in the kitchen. Clearly Han and Cole don’t discuss boys at sleepovers. Guess she thought we were done hanging out. So did I—until about a half hour ago.
Han glances over at me and immediately back to the road, her grip tightening on the fuzzy burnt orange steering wheel cover.
“I thought for sure you wouldn’t trust me after this morning.”
I really thought that’d be all it took for our story to end. With someone as fragile a heart as Han, you don’t get second chances. Only breakups, and the risk of your new girl getting snatched up by her.
“Trust is more than what someone tells you, and while you’re an occasional idiot who doesn’t grab the right thoughts, you were right about one thing.”
“That I’d make you a hot mom?” I ask immediately, my shit-eating grin plastered on my face.
She glares over at me. “No.” Tilting her head to the side, she raises her eyebrows, almost reconsidering. “Well, yes, technically speaking, that would be true.”
“Ha! I knew it!” I wrinkle my nose playfully at her. “Let’s do it. Let me stick my kid up ya. I can’t wait. I’ll fill you with babies. I’ll be a stay at home dad. Let my woman kill it in the real world and provide while I change diapers. Fuck yes, daddy duty. I’ll be so good. I’d be the best.”
“Kai,” she says calmly. “Chill.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I clear my throat, sitting up straight in my seat, realizing I voiced all my fucking thoughts again.
“No, you were right about something else,” she says, getting us back on track. “That I know your heart.”
Said heart feels like it’s being squeezed internally by her fist breaking through my rib cage as I gaze at her.
“I do, Kai,” she says softly, still staring out onto the highway through the windshield before her. “I know your heart like it’s an old friend. A companion I’ve known before, in another life. And it’s terrifying to me.” She looks back over at me. “To feel known like that.”
She’s mentioned this to me before, and if I’m honest, I feel the same way. It’s the kind of feeling you get when you connect with someone on an entirely new level where your being is exposed. It’s a raw and powerful connection, one that doesn’t happen with just anyone. A soulmate-type level.
I reach across the open space between us, feeling entirely too far away from her at the moment, even though we are only feet apart, and grab one of her hands from the steering wheel, lacing my fingers through hers. I pull the hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles, then drop it before she feels the trembling of my hand.
She smiles lightly, blushing at the romantic gesture that would otherwise be considered corny if not for the fact that it just feels so fucking good to both of us.
My legs begin to feel jittery, so I bounce my right knee to ward off the shakes. “I’ve never taken you out on a date,” I say randomly, lighting up a cigarette to ward off the cravings.
Her face finds mine again before she sighs, looking all sad. “I’m such a whore.”
Her words make my forehead wrinkle in confusion.
“I’ve let you cum in me. We haven’t even been on a date. You’ve cum in me, and I’m a whore.” She shrugs, like she’s finally accepting her truth.
“Shut up, Han.” I see a sign for a burger joint called Beefy Boys. “There. Go There.”
She swerves the van abruptly, sending the side of my head smashing into the window and back.
“Oh shit,” she laughs. “Sorry, Myrtle’s gears are a little sticky.”
“You’re about to get my gear a little sticky after that shit,” I say under my breath, rubbing my temple that’s probably egging up at the moment.
“What?”
“Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing at all.”
“We’ll take two veggie burgers with the spicy avocado sauce, and a side of sweet potato fries,” I say, folding the greasy menus and handing them back over to the short, round woman who’s got her hand on her hip and a scowl etched into her face.
Yes, I realize we are at a small town diner properly entitled Beefy Boys because of its beef and big, corn-fed truckers, but it’s on the menu. So sue me.
“Thanks”—I squint my eyes looking at her name tag, which is unfortunately on her very large breast—“Marg.”
She grabs the menus from my hands. “We’re out of sweet potato fries,” she snaps in a raspy, unapologetic tone.
“Um,” I say, looking at the distant menus under her arm, then back over at Han. “Normal fries alright?” I ask her.
She rolls her lips inward, biting down on them to stifle her laugh as she nods.
“Normal fries it is, Marg. Oh, and a chocolate almond milkshake for dessert.” I shoot her a quick wink, hoping to get some joy from our amazing roadside waitress. But sadly, my charms don’t work this far out of the city. She grunts and makes a comment about fucking hippies before wobbling her way back towards the kitchen.
“I think you have some competition,” I smirk, reaching my hand across the table to my date.
“Is she prettier than your algebra teacher back in high school?” she asks, her hands reaching over to meet mine in the middle.
“Hey, just because I’ve had plenty of flings with older women, doesn’t mean I don’t have standards. Marg, however, is a hidden gem. She likes to act all tough, but I know she’s the type to submit.”
“I’ve never been more jealous in all my life,” she says with a serious face. “But really? Veggie burgers? You eat meat.” She chuckles as I pull my twitching hands back away to wipe them down my face.
It’s true. I love meat. But Han is a vegan or veggie or some shit. I can tell by the strange assortment of products she keeps in her fridge. Tofu, some sort of edible moss, almond milk, the strange list goes on. As if almonds have nipples. I’d love to see an almond with nipples. Hilarious shit. So, I made the decision that I didn’t want to eat it in front of her.
“This date is about you,” I say, brushing her off. “But you’re a liar. I’ve seen you eat meat. I’ve seen you swallow it, too. Whole.”
I wiggle my eyebrows at her as she rolls her eyes and drops her head back against the plush cushion of the vintage booth we’re in.
“Tell me I’m lying.” I place my arms back along the seat, slouching down and dipping my head back, spreading my legs to get more comfortable.
Before she can respond, Marg reappears, smelling like fresh cigarettes, with two large empty glasses and a plastic pitcher of ice water. She walks away without saying anything else.
“Thanks Marg, you’re a peach!” I holler at her turned back.
She throws up a hand, never turning around, and proceeds back to the kitchen as I pour up our waters.
“Our burgers are about to be nothing but ground up veggies and spit,” Han says, eyeing her departure.
“I’m afraid you might be right.” I shift my weight, leaning forward again. “I’m sorry that this is our first date. You deserve far better than a roadside burger joint.”
I peer over her shoulder at the dirty windows of the diner and the rip in the plastic seat near her head, the smell of diesel and yesterday’s coffee filling my nose.
“Actually, I kind of love it.” She smiles, looking around at the empty booths. “It’s totally unexpected. Refreshingly so.”
“Okay, so let’s do the first date stuff,” I say, changing the subject, folding my hands before me on the speckled table. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Her brows meet as her eyes narrow.
“Okay, next, what’s your greatest strength?”
She tilts her head at the question.
“Alright, I’ll take the silence as a form of weakness. Next, how did you hear about the availability of this position?”
“This isn’t a job interview, Kai.”
“Alright last one, why should I hire you on as my new girlfriend?”
She dips her fingers in her newly filled water glass, then flicks them at me.
“Hey!” I gasp. “You’re fired! Termination, effective immediately.”
She flicks me again, and I let the water drip down my face. Marg stands silently behind me and I wonder how much of our conversation she heard. Delivering our meals at lightning speed, she glares at my dripping wet face before peering over at Han, then back at me. Setting the plates down, she leans down over Han.
“Trust me, you don’t want the job.”
She pats her on the shoulder twice as Han laughs, eyeing me with amusement.
“Real cute, Marg. We have great benefits over here! In case you’re wonder—”
My sentence gets cut off by a fry being shoved into my mouth. Guess that’s my cue to shut-up.
We enjoy our veggie burgers and normal fries, and casual conversation like a normal couple might. Our laughter fills the empty diner as I tell stories of my past. I feel like my sunshine is spreading onto her, seeping into her skin, finding the depth of her troubled heart. The warmth of me coating her with each smile she emits. Somehow, all of our worries and fears and regrets are left down the road. We’re in our own little world now, and as we both sip our chocolate almond milkshake together, I can only imagine what the rest of our time together might bring.
So far, it’s felt like free falling. But I know the time will come for the weight of this trip to drop.
Tomorrow’s adventure is entirely unknown, but one thing is certain: her secrets, whenever revealed, will be mine to hold.
