want to take it with us? We’ve got a fridge, you know.”
“Nah, baby, it’s fine.”
I finish paying Marg for our meal after only picking at it, leaving her a hefty tip because it’s Marg, and tipping your servers well is just a good thing to do. Fuck those people that leave a few dollars. These people are already working their ass off for a system that actively tries to screw them of any legitimate money, plus, they have families at home.
The food was actually amazing for a little hole-in-the-wall diner, but my appetite is all fucked. I’m having hot and cold flashes, I’m sweating, I’m shivering, every muscle in my body aches, and my head feels like there’s a fucking pole speared through it. I’m a mess.
I’m trying my best to keep it together and breathe through it, but if these side effects of withdrawal push me any further, I might need a tiny hit. Just to get through. At least for the next couple of nights. I can always start this again when I get back.
Fuck, no. I can do this. I can fucking handle it. Stupid fucking weak-ass brain.
The demon and angel talk amongst each other, watching my body bend and fold in their presence. Do the right thing. What’s the right thing? You’re pretending you can fix this yourself. Why can’t I? You’re weak, you’re a loser. I’m not that bad. You have no purpose. My purpose is standing right here.
“Hey,” she says softly, grabbing my hand and leaning me back against the van in the parking lot of Beefy Boys Diner. “What’s going on with you? Are you alright?”
Her eyes are soft, her voice caring. She can tell I’m off. Of course she can. She can read me better than anyone.
“I’m just—“
“Jesus, Kai, you’re burning up.” She places the back of her hand on my forehead, running it down my temple and on the side of my cheek, her face full of worry. “Babe…”
“I’m alright. I’ll be fine,” I smile, grabbing her hips and pulling her into me.
“No, you’re not alright. You’re sweating, and your heart is racing. Kai, you’re sick.” Her hands cup my face and she gazes at me like a puppy that needs a home.
“I assure you, I’m feeling better.” I kiss her forehead before running my hands on her shoulders beneath me, massaging them playfully. “Where to next, abductor?”
She cracks a smile. “One more stop before we park for the night,” she says, gazing up at me. “If you’re up to it, of course.” Her face drops a little in concern. “We can just park, too. You can let me take care of you.”
That does sound amazing. But, no.
“No, no, no…I want you to take me where you’d go,” I reply immediately. “I want you to pretend I’m not even here. Show me what you do when you run.”
She bites her bottom lip nervously before nodding and pulling away from me. She grabs the door handle of the van, pulling it open. Turning back to me, she smirks.
“Gonna be hard to pretend you’re not here when my insides twist at the sight of you.”
I hop into the passenger seat with a curious grin.
“I do that to you?”
I can’t even hold my smile back. God, I act like such a teenager around her. She likes me. Han really likes me. Duh, she loves me.
“You should see what you do to my pussy.”
My eyes bulge out of my head as all the blood in my body floods to my groin. Her devilish smile stretches across her face as she drives off.
Fuck, she looks good in those shorts.
Han is bent over the bar, the bottom of her ass hanging out of the black, distressed denim, talking to an older man with tattoos blanketing every visible part of him. The place is pretty empty, smells like piss and beer, but the music coming from the jukebox is bumping, and the neon lighting is visually appealing. This place is such a paradox of small-town bar mixed with gay rave. I can’t quite wrap my head around it.
She comes back to the table with two glasses, filled a quarter full with some brown liquid.
“On the house,” she nods, clicking a glass to mine before throwing it back.
Her throat rolls as the liquor slides down. And, I’m hard again. She holds the empty glass near her lips, using a finger to wipe the corner of her mouth.
“What?” She looks at me, confused.
I clear my throat, sitting up in the wooden chair, adjusting my pants beneath the table as I smirk. “Nothing at all.”
I down my whiskey as she straddles my lap. Fuck me.
“So you come to a small-town rave and straddle men with hard-ons? Running away must be fun for you,” I suck in a breath, feeling stupid for saying it. I’m insensitive as fuck.
But she doesn’t take offense. “Nah, I come here for the best drinks this side of San Fran.”
My brow cocks.
“Doug.” She points her thumb over her shoulder to the tattooed man with the red mohawk. He’s currently shaking up some drink in a mixer for two men leaning into one another at the counter. One of them has his hand in the back pocket of the other, grabbing his ass. “He’s my cousin.”
“Cousin?”
“Cousin, twice removed…maybe thrice, I don’t fucking know. We’re blood…somehow. His bar has always been one of my stops.”
I look back over at Doug behind the bar, with his wild hair and numerous facial piercings, as he leans over the counter, giving one of the guys a kiss on the mouth before leaning back and winking at him.
“Yep, definitely related.”
This guy seems more related to her than her own sister.
The small-town gay rave gets more crowded as the night continues, and bodies pack the place. I’m enjoying the environment, to be honest. The music is on point, and my guy Doug is chill as hell. Plus, he keeps supplying my girl with free drinks, making her a little tipsy, which is bringing out this relaxed, easygoing side to her.
She’s dancing with a short bald man who looks to be in his mid-fifties on the small four-by-four foot dancefloor, the strobe lights illuminating them. Laughter falls from her lips as she attempts to teach him how to do the heel-toe/happy feet. He can’t pick up on it at all, but seems to enjoy her company, nonetheless.
I watch her from my seat in the dark, smoking my cigarette off to the side. She keeps peering back over at me in the corner with the warmest smile, and it melts me. She’s so free right now; carefree and happy. I love seeing her in this element, so natural and just so organically herself.
A new song comes on the jukebox. A heavy metal rock song I’ve never heard before, and Han screams out, throwing her arms to the ceiling at the same time as Doug. They point to each other and both start belting the words out. I watch comically as she pushes through the crowd on the dance floor towards the bar. He walks right to her like this is some sort of choreographed thing, his hand remaining outstretched for hers. He helps her on top of the bar, and she dances.
Han is dancing on the bar top, but not as you would expect a girl to dance on a bar. She’s head banging and playing air guitar. She and Doug are both losing their shit to this song, and I’m living for it, my face breaking out into a grin as a laugh escapes me. They keep screaming lyrics in each other’s faces as she continues dancing.
Suddenly, the song breaks into a slow, sexy, electronic beat, and my mouth drops open as time stalls around me. Han starts body rolling down, hands dragging from her neck down between her breasts until she reaches her exposed stomach. Her gorgeous frame shifts from side to side as her hips roll in a tantalizing seduction. She grabs one of the poles behind her, slithering down it like the sexy little vixen she is with her hand held above it, her crop top lifting some so I can see the bottom of her breast dipping out beneath it.
In any other bar, I’d go fucking crazy. I’d march up there, peel her off the pole, throw her over my shoulder, leaving a handprint on her ass as I made my way out of the bar to fuck her until everyone nearby could hear her screams. But no one is even watching her. No one but me. These men are clearly into one another. There’s freedom in that for her as she loses herself in the moment, feeling all the femininity that she has every right to own. She’s a fucking goddess, and she’s mine.
I swallow as the pressure in my pants intensifies, the strain against the dark denim, painful.
Her green eyes find mine in the distance as she pushes her ass against the pole, grinding slowly up the metal, her body rolling back against it. It’s like she’s my own private dancer. She touches herself, dancing sensually as her hands trail her delicious curves while she watches me. My head dips down into my chest and I glare up at her through dangerous eyes, my jaw tightening at the thoughts of all I plan to do to her. I couldn’t look away if I tried. My knuckles are white as I aggressively twist the bar straw in my grasp.
She turns to face Doug and they point at each other, nodding as the music builds again. Before I know it, they are both head banging again. The song eventually fades out, and she jumps down off the bar, laughing into his embrace. She turns to find my eyes again, cocking her head while leaning back against the bar with a come hither look about her. If I wasn’t already off my face obsessed with this chick, that little get-my-dick-hard rock show would’ve done it for me.
Standing, I make my way through the dancing crowd of people groping and grinding as the intense beats and flashing lights continue. I feel a hand grab my ass and I pause, tightening my fist at my side immediately. I turn to find a guy standing beneath me, wearing a spiked collar and false eyelashes, biting his bottom lip as he winks.
“I’m not the one,” I scream out over the music. He sighs dramatically as I continue pushing through the remaining crowd until I get to her.
She’s still smiling humorously at the sight of the little exchange before I grab her by the back of the neck, bringing her directly into my lips. My tongue slips through her lips, exploring the inside of her mouth, and I feel her moan in surprise at the sudden kiss. She tastes like whiskey and honey, and I need more.
I reach around her, grabbing the edge of her ass that’s hanging free from the shorts, groaning at the softness. Abruptly lifting her, she wraps her legs around me, my dick pressing firmly into her center. Our lips never part as I continue to torture her tongue with my own, loving the feeling of the metal stud of her tongue ring dragging along mine.
She pulls the hair at the top of my head, meeting my needy kiss with her arm wrapped around the back of my neck. I hear Doug chuckling behind us as I walk her straight out of the bar, pushing through the doors with one hand until we’re in the parking lot, reaching the van again.
With her back against it and my hips holding her up, I grip the hair at the back of her head between my knuckles, pulling her apart from the kiss until she’s facing me, both of our chests heaving between us.
“It’s time to go,” I say firmly, slightly out of breath, staring into her dilated eyes. “Just tell me where.”
She chews on her bottom lip, peering at my mouth, before blinking up at me. I can hear her thoughts as she imagines everything that I’m about to make a reality for her tonight.
Reaching into her back pocket with her free hand, she struggles to pull out the keys before finally holding them up between us.
“Take me.”
“I’ll definitely be taking you.” I snatch the keys away from her, walking over to drop her little ass into the passenger seat. She squeals as she bounces in the seat, and I make my way around to the driver’s side. I hop in, starting up old Myrtle before throwing her in reverse. “I’ll be taking you on the hood, taking you on the seat, taking you on the bed in the back…”
“Kai!” She laughs my name with her sexy cracked tone as I drive down the tree-lined back roads. “Left! Take me left!”
I veer onto the road she’s instructing me to turn onto, taking us into the darkness on new paths entirely unknown.
