For the past few weeks, I’ve been camped out at the football house and living on the couch in the living room. And yeah, it’s gross as hell. I spend a lot of time trying not to think about the body fluids embedded in the material.
If I’m lucky, I can catch a solid four hours of sleep at night. I didn’t admit it to Noah, but this shit is getting old. I miss my bed. I miss having Daisy wrapped in my arms. It’s the best damn feeling in the world.
This place is worse than a frat house. There are six guys who live here, but I swear there’s at least quadruple that, coming and going at all hours. We’re in the middle of the season and these guys are cracking open cold ones every damn night of the week.
Sure, I’ll have a few on the weekends but I’m not one to get shitfaced. Being out of control leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If I need to blow off steam, I’d much rather find a willing female to fuck.
At least, that was my MO in the past.
Daisy and I might not be together but touching another girl feels like cheating.
Last night, I woke up to some random chick straddling my waist. Naked. Which is so not cool. Just because I’ve got a penis, doesn’t mean I don’t get to choose when I use it. This isn’t a damn carnival ride you can hop on and off of.
Alright…Maybe it was in the past, but not anymore.
Now it’s more like a monastery.
A sharp rap on the front door knocks me from my thoughts. Most people don’t bother with such formality. They throw open the door and saunter in. So right there, I’m curious as to who it could be. Owen must feel the same because his brows jerk together as he lumbers into the entryway. Since this is his house, I let him do the honors.
He opens the door and his deep voice rumbles out. “Can I help you?”
There’s a pause.
“I certainly hope so.”
The moment I hear her voice, I shoot off the couch and fly to the door.
Shit.
I wrap my fingers around the wood and yank it all the way open. “Hi.”
Marnie Walker’s eyes soften when she sees me. If I was expecting anger or disgust, there is none. She takes a moment, allowing her gaze to run over the length of me as if cataloguing that everything is the way it should be.
Owen narrows his eyes, taking in her blue scrubs as he points a beefy finger in her direction. “You’re not from the health department, are you?”
Marnie peers around him until she can look inside the house. Whatever she sees is enough to draw a firm conclusion. “No. But I can understand why you might be worried.”
I jab my elbow into Owen’s side although it’s doubtful he feels anything. Owen is a big motherfucker. He’s muscle on top of muscle, on top of even more muscle. Think King Kong swatting at one of those pesky planes.
That’s Owen in a nutshell.
“Dude,” I roll my eyes. “This is Marnie Walker, Noah’s Mom.”
His stance visibly relaxes. “Oh, right.” He scratches his chin as a smile spreads across his face. “Sorry, Mrs. W. The scrubs threw me for a moment.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she says easily. “Happens all the time.”
“Ahhh, are you looking for Noah?” Owen’s brow furrows. “’Cause he’s not here.”
“No, I’m actually here to speak with Carter.” She clears her throat as her gaze falls on me. “Do you have a few minutes, so we can talk?”
Some of my happiness at seeing her drains away. I can only imagine what Marnie wants to discuss. Maybe she wants to reconfirm that Daisy and I aren’t getting back together.
As much as I dread this conversation, I give her a tight nod. “Sure.” I glance behind me at the living room and contemplate the options. There are beer cans strewn across the coffee table.
Wait a minute…what the hell is that?
I narrow my eyes.
Is that a thong on the chair?
Shit. That’s definitely a thong.
Nope. I can’t invite her in here. Plus, it’s highly doubtful she’d want to sit on the furniture. Most of the time, I feel like I need to hose myself off with Lysol after I get up.
Decision made, I slip through the door past Owen onto the porch. “There’s a park about a block away, do you want to go there?”
The edges of her lips curl up as if she knows why I didn’t invite her inside. “Sure, that works.”
I glance at Owen. If he thinks it’s odd that I’m taking off with Noah’s mother, he doesn’t say a word. Which is for the best. Owen might outweigh me by a good fifty pounds, but I’ll kick his ass if he makes one inappropriate comment about Marnie Walker.
This woman can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. Noah and Daisy are lucky to have her. And before all this, I was lucky to have her in my life as well. That thought is like a kick in the gut.
I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jeans as we head down the street to the small park nearby. There’s not much to it—just a slide, swing set, and monkey bars—but it’s good for what we need.
Privacy.
There’s a bench on the other side of the equipment. Once we’re settled, Marnie angles her body toward me. There is no beating around the bush with Noah’s Mom. For as long as I’ve known her, she’s taken a no-nonsense approach to life. It can be a little disconcerting and entirely too forthright.
Most of the time, I appreciate it.
At this moment, though?
Not so much.
“Noah tells me that you’ve moved out of the apartment,” she says.
I shrug and stare straight ahead. “Not officially,” I mumble.
“Is there a reason why you can’t stay at your place?” She pauses for a beat. “The one you pay rent for?”
I’m not sure how to answer that question, so I remain silent. Maybe I am a pussy just like Noah accused.
“My guess is that Daisy has something to do with this new living arrangement,” she continues.
“I, ah, just thought it would be best for everyone involved if I wasn’t there.” I’m trying like hell to avoid her penetrating stare.
“Is that what Daze told you?” Her voice sharpens. “That she would be more comfortable with you gone?”
My gaze arrows to hers and I hastily shake my head. “Of course not. Daisy would never say that.” Even when she hated my guts, she still agreed to live with me.
A satisfied smile curves her lips. “I didn’t think so.”
“I just…” I have no idea how to explain the situation or my fears to her. The only way I can keep myself in check is to keep my distance from the one person who makes me feel too much. Who makes me feel out of control. It’s the scariest fucking feeling in the world and I hate it.
“You’ve liked Daisy for a long time,” she says.
Even though Noah told me that his mom suspected my feelings, it’s still a surprise to hear her say it.
“What? You think I didn’t notice all these years?” She smirks. “I knew how you felt about Daisy before you did, Carter.”
“Noah mentioned something about it,” I mumble in embarrassment and stare down at my fingers.
After a silent moment of me fiddling with them, Marnie reaches out to still my movements.
I glance up as my voice drops. “You have to believe that I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“I don’t understand.” She searches my eyes. “What do you mean?”
“It was never my intention to get involved with Daisy.”
“Why not?” Her brows draw together, and she frowns. “Daisy is a wonderful girl. She’s like a daughter to me.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I’m sorry that I allowed my feelings to get the best of me. I should have kept them in check.”
As Marnie shakes her head, her blond ponytail swings back and forth. “Carter, you’re not making any sense. What do you have to be sorry about?”
I don’t know why I’m having such a difficult time articulating my feelings. Frustrated with myself, I blurt, “We both know that Daisy deserves better than me. You trusted me not to look sideways at her and I broke that trust.” I drag a hand over my face. “It was a mistake to think I would be good for her. I’m not.”
She straightens and slaps a hand on my thigh. I wince in surprise.
“Carter Prescott!” she growls. “What the hell kind of nonsense is pouring out of your mouth?”
My eyes widen at her sharp tone. Sure, I was expecting anger. Just not about this. I expected her to agree with the sentiment.
“I—what?” I ask with a frown.
Her expression turns thunderous as she grabs the sides of my face with her fingers and squeezes until it’s just shy of painful.
All right…it’s painful. If she’s trying to get my attention, the woman has it.
“You need to listen carefully to what I’m about to say,” she bites out. “Do you understand me?”
Her brows rise as she waits for me to answer in the affirmative, which I do by giving a tight nod.
“Good.” She drags my face closer which makes my jaw ache. “I love you, Carter. I love you as much as if you were my own. The first time my son brought you home, I knew there was something special about you and I was right. You may not be a Walker by name, but you are in all the ways that matter. You’re part of this family and that will never change.” She pauses. “No matter what.”
Moisture fills my eyes.
But it’s not tears…it’s allergies.
“I think we can both agree that you were dealt a crap hand when it comes to your father. And it would have been easy for you to learn from his example and turn out to be exactly like him, but that’s not what you’ve done. You are a hundred times the man Philip Prescott will ever be.” Her fingers bite into my cheeks. “I’ve watched you mature over the years and I’m proud of the man you’ve grown into. I trust you with my son.” She pauses. “And more than that, I trust you with my niece. We’re lucky to count you as one of our own.” Her expression softens. “And just so you know, nothing thrilled me more than finding out that you and Daisy had finally gotten together.” She smiles. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for the two of you to stop dancing around one another?”
I’d shake my head, but she still has a firm grip on my face. “But—”
“You are not your father.” The way she cuts to the heart of the matter knocks me off balance. “How could you think otherwise? You are the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful man. Why wouldn’t I want my niece with someone like that?”
My shoulders slump because there’s no arguing with this woman. And I’m smart enough to realize it. But still, everything she’s saying, it’s difficult to accept. Not when I’ve spent years telling myself the complete opposite.
“Daisy deserves to be loved the way you love her,” she adds.
My eyes widen. “Who said anything about love?” Even as I bluff my way through the question, heat fills my face.
Clearly not fooled, she rolls her eyes and asks point blank, “Am I wrong?”
I huff out a breath as I hem and haw. Shoulders slumping, I give up the ruse and grumble, “No, you’re not wrong.” Even though I’m embarrassed, I force myself to meet her gaze. “Although we both know Daisy deserves better.”
I don’t tack on than me, but we both hear the unspoken words.
She yanks me closer and grounds out, “You are not him, Carter. You could never be anything like him.”
“You don’t know—”
“Actually, I do,” she cuts in swiftly, stealing the wind from my sails. “Do you know how?” She doesn’t wait for a response. “Because I know you. I’ve watched you for years. You’re not capable of that kind of physical violence. You’re just not. You need to get this out of your head right now.”
She releases my cheeks and I massage the ache in my jaw.
“I know what happened at that party,” she says. “Noah filled me in.”
My eyes dart to hers in surprise.
“I’m glad you were there to protect Daisy. Not that she can’t take care of herself,” Marnie adds. “But some guys have a hard time taking no for an answer. And he was obviously one of them.”
Everything within me deflates. “I don’t want to be anything like my dad.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Unshed tears shimmer in her eyes. “Why can’t you get it through your thick head that you are nothing like him? All you were trying to do was protect Daisy and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“It doesn’t feel that way.” I glance away. “Do you have any idea how sick I’ve been about this?”
Her lips lift at the corners. “That only proves my point, Carter. You’re a wonderful man and you deserve joy in your life with a woman who makes you happy. I’ve watched you over the years, always keeping people at a distance. I would hate for you to miss out on all the wonderful opportunities life has to offer because you’re too frightened to open yourself up and take a chance.”
I blow out a long breath knowing that she’s right.
About everything.
I’m just not sure what to do about it.
