“Here we go,” I say to Cici as I unbuckle her seat belt. “Are you ready for daycare?” I ask as I carefully take her out of her seat. “Where is your bow?” I ask of the little bow I put in her hair this morning. After dressing her in a pink romper, I thought it would be cute to add a little bow, Cici did not, apparently. “I can see we don’t like anything in your hair,” I mumble to her as I place her on my hip before grabbing her diaper bag. “Is today going to be a good day?” I ask as she looks around. “I think it’s going to be a good day.”
My shoes click on the concrete as I walk toward the glass door. The bangles on my left hand clink together as I reach up and pull open the door. Stepping inside the daycare, I’m faced with another door, this one with a code to get into the center. I enter the code before turning the handle and pulling it open. I’m about to call out when I see a hand on top of my hand. “I’ve got it,” a male voice assures from behind me.
Looking over my shoulder, I see a dad who is dressed in a suit, holding the hand of a little girl who must be three years old. “Thank you.” I smile back at him and he just gives me a chin up.
“Good morning, Eva,” Melanie, the owner of the daycare, says from behind her desk at the front door. “Good morning, Caine.” I look over at the man who is still standing behind me.
“Morning.” I smile at Melanie before walking down the carpeted hallway. Wooden cubbies line the right side of the wall with hooks under them, some with jackets already hanging, and a long wooden bench.
I pass three rooms before getting to Cici’s room called the Ladybugs. “Good morning,” Sylvia, Cici’s teacher, says to us as we stand at the door of the room. The bottom part is closed; the top part open. “How are we doing today?”
“We are in tip-top shape.” I look down at Cici. “Aren’t we, baby girl?”
“How was her night?” Sylvia asks me and I smile at her. She’s been Cici’s teacher since she was six weeks old and Lisa had to return to work. If anyone knows her better than me, it’s Sylvia. “Did she sleep?”
“Nope,” I reply, bouncing her, “we have decided that nights are overrated and we need to drink at least two bottles.” I kiss her cheek.
“Well, if you look this good after not sleeping all night, I wonder how you would look with sleep,” she jokes with me as I look down at my outfit. I don’t even remember what I’m wearing, that is how exhausted I am. My bubble-gum-pink pants go down to my ankles, a classic button-up, white cotton shirt is tucked in with the top three buttons opened. I don’t even know if the nude high-heeled sandals go with the outfit but that’s what I’m working with.
“Go see Sylvia and I’ll be back to get you,” I tell my niece as Sylvia opens her arms for Cici, who lays her head on my shoulder, not ready to let me go. I place my head down on hers for a second. “Are we extra cuddly this morning?”
“I have some fruit,” Sylvia bribes, “you want some berries?” She claps her hands and Cici leans out of my arms and into Sylvia.
“Good to know she’ll drop me for berries.” I laugh. “Here is her bag.” I place the bag on the door. “Call me if anything comes up,” I say and then put my hand to my mouth and blow her a kiss. “Love you.”
“Blow a kiss to Auntie,” Sylvia urges and Cici smiles her gummy smile at me and blows me a kiss. “What a good girl.” She kisses her cheek and quickly turns away. I watch for a few seconds before turning and walking back toward the door. I have my head down as I walk out, obviously not paying attention to where I’m going when I run into someone. His musky smell hits me right away. Looking up, I see the same man who held the door open for me.
“I’m so sorry.” I embarrassedly laugh at myself. “I was on the moon.”
“No worries.” His voice comes out gruff as I look up into his brown eyes. He holds out his hand for me to walk in front of him.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I walk, trying not to look over my shoulder to see if he’s checking me out. I push open the door, holding it for him with my left hand. My ring is hitting the sun at the same time as I look at the man, who is right behind me.
“Thank you,” he says to me and I just nod at him, feeling really guilty for even talking to him.
I get in my car, ignoring that I feel guilty and chalking it up to me being exhausted.
It’s just been a really weird couple of days. Moving Cici’s things into my home for good. Then Levi coming home and us starting to live together in my space. Him waking with me last night, and then him crawling into bed with me. It was dumb, we’ve been friends for a long time. We’ve even slept in the same bed once when we were drunk on vacation. But that is only because neither of us could get up without falling over, so sleeping next to each other seemed like the safest thing to do. I was chalking it up to being sleep deprived for feeling so out of whack. Even this morning when he came upstairs with a coffee for me while I was in the bathroom. Grabbing Cici from me so I could get dressed and then walking out of the closet wearing a suit. The fact that our clothes are now mixed with each other’s is again throwing me off. It has been a very unsettling couple of days. I need a good night’s rest and I will be back to normal.
Getting to work, I put on my smile as I walk in, making sure no one knows that anything is wrong. This is my workplace, and if I expect everyone to leave their problems at the door, I can’t very well drag my ass into work and wallow. Nope, no one has time for that. “Good morning,” I greet, walking back toward my office, saying hello to a couple of people along the way. I put my purse in the chair in front of my desk before walking around it toward my office chair.
The knock on the door has me pausing as I sit down. Raquel comes in with a binder in her hand. “Are you ready?”
“I forgot that I was off today,” I say to her. “I mean not off, but I wasn’t going to be with clients but instead going over admin work.” I clap my hands. “Love this time of the month.”
“No, you don’t,” Raquel reminds me, “the last time, you booked clients that day just to be rid of this duty.”
“Well, good news,” I tell her, leaning back in my chair, “no clients today.”
She nods at me as she opens her binder. “Good, because we have two months to get through.” She smiles at me. “Also, it’s wedding season soon.”
The day flies by faster than I thought it would. There were a couple of minor issues we had to deal with. At four o’clock we are wrapping up our meeting and I’m about to grab my purse and leave when my phone beeps with a text.
Levi: Be home at five and will help with dinner.
I smile at that, then text him back.
Me: So domesticated. What do you want to have for dinner?
Levi: If you want something I can throw on the grill, then I can cook.
Me: Oh, steak sounds good.
Levi: I’ll leave work now and head over to the butcher. Let me know if you think of anything else.
I ignore the way my heart speeds up and the way my stomach knots.
Me: Will do.
I carry my phone to my purse, grabbing it and walking out of the office. I stop by every room and station before heading out to make sure everything is okay. I drive with the windows open all the way to the daycare, walking in without bumping into anyone. When I walk over to Cici’s class, she is sitting on the floor clapping her hands as Sylvia sings a song. I smile at the sight and she must sense me because she looks at me, and gone is the smile on her face and in its place is her crying. “Oh, that’s a faker right there,” I say as Sylvia gets her and brings her over to me. “Hey there, baby girl,” I greet, kissing her neck. “How was her day?”
“Rough.” She is honest with me. “She wanted to be in my arms more than not.” I don’t know what to say. “It’s okay, she’ll readjust.”
“Fingers crossed,” I reply as she hands me her diaper bag. “See you tomorrow.”
“Are you ready to go home?” I ask as I walk down the hallway. The door opens and in comes the man from this morning.
“Hey,” he says, his suit jacket off, his cuffs rolled up to his elbows, “we have to stop meeting like this.” He laughs, putting his hands in his pockets. Leaving me speechless and, luckily, I don’t have to say anything to him when a little girl yells, “Daddy!” I look over at the girl running to her father.
“Have a great night,” I say as he squats down to grab his daughter in his arms.
“You, too, Eva,” he says my name as I walk out of the daycare.
“That was weird, right?” I ask Cici, who slaps my chest and babbles to me. “Yeah, I thought so, too. He is hot, though.” I look back, seeing him walking out with his daughter toward a black Range Rover. “There must be something in the water,” I say as I buckle her into her car seat.
It doesn’t take us long to get home, pulling into the driveway I’m shocked that Levi is already here. I grab her bag and her and walk up the stairs. “Hello,” I call as I shut the door behind me. Levi stands in the kitchen, his suit still on, the bags from the grocery store on the counter in front of him.
“Hey,” he says, looking up from his phone. Then he looks at Cici and smiles. “Well, hello, you.” He smiles at her and she squeals. “I like to hear that better than you crying.”
I put the bag down on the kitchen table, looking at the big box on the table. “What is this?” I ask, trying to remember if I ordered anything lately. I’ve been known in the past to order things in the middle of the night.
“Oh, that’s something I bought for you.” He walks over to me. “Nothing big. I was hoping to have it installed before you got here, but I had a work call.”
“What is it?” I ask, looking at the box.
“It’s a baby monitor, but it’s a camera one. So you put a camera over her bed or facing her bed,” he explains, opening the box, “and then you can watch her.”
“What?” I whisper, sitting down on the chair because I feel like my legs will give out.
“Yeah, it’s so you can see if she’s sleeping when you put her down.” He’s totally not reading the room. I don’t even know I’m crying until I feel the wetness on my cheek.
“That’s so thoughtful.” I look at him and see his eyes get soft. He walks over to where I’m sitting and squats down in front of me.
“Why are you crying?” His hand comes out and his fingers wipe away a tear.
“I don’t know,” I admit, “I must be sleep deprived.”
He smirks at me, his smile so soft. “Why don’t you go and take a shower, and I’ll watch the baby?”
I can’t help but laugh through my tears. “Do you even know what to do with her?” I ask as he takes her out of my arms.
I wait for her to cry but she doesn’t, he leans in and kisses her cheek. “Not even a bit, but I think I can wing it.” He smiles at her and she babbles back at him. A big gob of drool comes out and falls on his jacket. “Go and take a shower.” He motions with his head toward the stairs.
“If you need anything.” I get up. “Come and get me.”
“You want me to barge in on you naked in the shower?” he teases me, just like he’s done many times before, but this time it feels different. This time I picture him coming into the shower with me, naked as well. “You okay?” he asks and I avoid looking at him, feeling my cheeks start to burn.
“I’ll be back.” I don’t even check to see if Cici is okay before running up the steps and away from Levi. “Good God.” I close the bathroom door behind me. “Can you imagine if he knew you pictured him in the shower with you?” I mumble to myself. “He’d probably barf.” I push off from the door. “You need a cold shower.” I turn the water on. “Ice cold at this point.”
I don’t spend long in the shower, and instead of relaxing, I’m more tense than I was before the shower. Putting on a pair of shorts and a tank top, I pin the hair on top of my head and walk down the stairs. As soon as I get to the last step, he turns from the kitchen sink and I see he’s wearing the BabyBjörn. “Hey,” he says to me as if he doesn’t have a child strapped to his chest. His suit jacket hangs on one of the chairs, his shirt rolled up at the wrists. I don’t even know what to do with the sight of him. Cici looks at me, her arms punching the air and her legs kicking. I put my hand to my chest, feeling like I have a heart murmur or like I feel there is something in my throat. I even clear it, wondering if the pressure will go away.
“What are you wearing?” I ask, wondering if someone can be delusional if they are sleep deprived. I make a mental note to google that when I’m putting Cici to sleep.
“She didn’t like being in my arms,” he replies, looking down at Cici. “But the minute I put this contraption on, she was fine.” Cici looks up at him as if she knows he’s talking about her. “Not facing me, nope, she has to look out.”
“She’s curious.” I finally take the last step and walk toward the two of them.
“Also, she hates baby talk,” he informs me and I can’t help the laugh that comes out of me.
“How long did it take you to put that on?” I point at his chest.
“Two YouTube videos.” He holds up two fingers. “And she was not a happy person waiting.” He smiles. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear her.”
“I owe you big-time,” I say softly to him.
“What do you mean?” His voice is as soft as mine, almost a whisper.
“I mean this.” I point at the baby strapped to his chest. “This whole this.” I point at the bags that were on the counter but are now not on there. I look around, wondering if he put them away. “We,” I say and then correct myself, “I obviously didn’t think this through.”
“Hey,” he comforts, putting his arm around my shoulders. “It’s just another eleven months and two weeks.”
