“Good morning, everyone,” I greet, walking into the conference room with my notepad in one hand and my coffee in the other. I take a look around and see there is no one here but me. Turning my hand holding the notepad to check the time on my watch, I see that it’s almost ten. Am I early for this meeting? I don’t have a chance to answer myself because I hear the television on the wall turn on.
“Good morning, buttercup,” Stefano announces from the screen, “you are looking good.” Ever since he found out that Avery was his daughter, he has cut back on traveling altogether. He may travel but whereas he would go for weeks before, now it’s a turnaround of twenty-four hours. I didn’t understand it when he suddenly changed, but I get it now.
“Well, considering I only woke up once last night, I feel like a rock star.” I put my coffee down and then my notepad. “It’s almost the best thing that has ever happened.” I pull the chair out and sit in it.
“How is my cousin?” he asks and I smirk at him, trying to play it off as cool. Playing it off as cool because I’m not ready for all the stuff to come up. All the questions that will follow. I just don’t know how to explain it to him, without a lot of other shit coming up. Stuff I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about. Stuff even I’m shocked about. Stuff, meaning Eva and her being on my mind for the past two fucking weeks. Every single time I look over at her, it’s like there is something new I see that I haven’t seen before. Or maybe I have but I just noticed now, which is flipping my head upside down. I tell myself it’s just because I’m in her space all the time, but even saying that, my head laughs at me.
“My wife is fine.” I point at myself, trying to hold in the laughter when he scowls at me, but I can’t help it. “She’s fine. Great. Amazing.” I clap my hands as his scowl comes to a full-blown glare. It’s been two weeks since we’ve technically moved in with each other, well, since I came back from my business trip. Two weeks since the start of whatever this is.
“How is Cici?” he asks and I lean back in the chair, the smile filling my face so much it hurts my cheeks. I swear I think I even puff out my chest when I think of her.
“Amazing.” I rock back and forth in the chair. “Still waking up once a night. But I think she’s settling down.” With each passing day, I am falling more and more in love with her. I would cut off my limbs for her. The girl can only say one word, which is Mama, and it breaks my heart every single time she says it and she just started waving bye-bye.
“I never thought I would see the day you would be talking about a kid’s nighttime routine like it was nothing,” Stefano observes. “When do you leave next?”
I avoid looking at his eyes when I pick up a pen and tap it on the notepad, but luckily for me people start coming in the room. “You guys are all late,” I joke with them as everyone gets in their seat.
“Okay, shall we start?” Stefano begins. “We have a lot to go through.” The meeting gets underway when the big question comes up. Travel. The dreaded subject I was hoping wouldn’t be brought up. I’ve never dreaded this subject before but I know he will ask questions once he gets wind of me not traveling.
“How is everyone’s travel schedule?” Stefano asks. We go around the room one by one, as we talk about going away.
My leg moves up and down with nerves when it gets to my turn. “I was supposed to leave next week,” I start, “but I pushed it back a couple of days.” I canceled the whole thing, but I can start with this, then ease into it. “I have what I need from my end to do the work.”
He just stares at me and I can see the questions already in his eyes. He’s my best friend, and aside from Eva, I know him better than anyone and vice versa. “Do you have an ETA for your next trip?”
“I have to check.” Again, the lie comes out before I can stop it. I don’t have to check because I cleared the rest of the month. I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave Eva alone with Cici and no help, so I canceled things.
“We can chat on that later,” Stefano says to me, and if I read between the lines, he doesn’t want to have this conversation in front of the whole staff.
I nod at him at the same time my phone rings. All eyes come to me. “Shit,” I swear, looking down and seeing it’s the daycare, “it’s Cici’s daycare.” I pick up the phone and walk outside of the meeting. “Hello.” I put my phone to my ear.
“Levi.” I hear a woman say my name. “This is Melanie from the Small Bumble Bee Daycare.” I swear to God I feel like the blood has drained from my whole body.
“Yes,” is the only word that can come out.
“I’m calling because Cici has a fever,” she says softly. “I’ve tried to get in touch with Eva for the past twenty minutes, and all I’m getting is her voicemail. You are the next one on the list.”
“Okay.” I look around, putting the phone to my ear and walking toward my office.
“We have a policy that if the baby is running a fever, you have to come and pick her up,” she informs me.
“Of course.” I grab my keys from my desk. “I’ll be right there,” I tell her, “I just have to settle some things.”
“That is fine. I’ll see you soon,” she replies and I hang up on her, walking back into the conference room.
“I have to go. Cici has a fever,” I announce to the room.
“Where is Eva?” Stefano asks me and I look down at my phone, pulling up her name and calling her.
It picks up after half a ring. “You’ve reached Eva.”
“Voicemail,” I respond, looking down at the phone, expecting it to ring in my hand, but it doesn’t. “I have to go.” I don’t even pick up my shit, I just grab my phone and walk out of the room.
“I’ll call you later,” Stefano says and I nod at him, turning and practically running out to my car. I get to the daycare in record time. The whole time I’ve been trying to call Eva but it’s going straight to voicemail. My stomach clenches as I walk into the daycare. I enter the code that I’ve entered only once before when I had to drop her off.
Melanie steps out of her office to greet me. “Sorry about calling you.”
“It’s fine,” I say, looking down toward the hall where I hear crying. “I’ll go get her.” I don’t even wait for her to say anything before walking down the hall.
“It’s going to be okay.” I hear the woman who is holding Cici say as she cries in her arms.
Once I reach the door, I turn the handle and walk into the room. Looking at the other babies sitting on the floor, I ensure I don’t step on anything. “Look who is there,” the woman coos and Cici turns her head and spots me.
Her lower lip quivers as she sobs and my heart breaks. That is the only way to describe it. There is a pain in my chest and it feels like someone stabbed me. “Oh, baby girl,” I whisper, holding my hands to her as she lunges for me. Her blue eyes look so bright, even though she has been crying. Her little nose is red, along with her cheeks that look so rosy. “What’s the matter?” I ask, even though I know she can’t answer me. She rubs her face in my chest, along with all of the snot and tears, but I couldn’t care less.
“She’s been really fussy all day long. She hasn’t really eaten much,” the woman shares with me, and I look over to see Cici pick up the pacifier that is hanging on her pj’s and put it in her mouth.
“It’s going to be okay, baby girl.” I kiss her head. “Do you need anything from me?” I ask the lady whose name I don’t remember as she smiles at me.
“I’ll get her diaper bag,” she says, walking over to the corner where there is a changing station. She grabs the bag, bringing it to me.
“Thank you.” I put the bag over my shoulder before walking out of the room with her. I nod to Melanie as I walk out of the daycare and toward my car. “It’s a good thing I got that car seat,” I tell her as she looks at me, one of her hands on my shoulder, holding on for dear life. “And Eva said it was silly.” I shake my head as I open the back door and place her in the seat. She starts to cry as I buckle her in. “I know you don’t want this, but in order to get home we are going to have to do it this way,” I explain to her and she whines. “You know, in the fifties or maybe even the sixties I could have driven home with you in my arms.” I laugh as she watches me. “I’m sure you understand everything I’m saying.”
I get into the driver’s seat and look back at her as she lays her head on the side of the car seat. I dial Eva again and it goes straight to voicemail. I don’t bother leaving her a message, instead I hang up the phone. When we get home, I dump her bag at the door before kicking off my shoes. “Here we go,” I say, putting her down on her mat in the living room. She lets me know as soon as I step away from her that she does not want to be in the middle of the floor. Her wail fills the room as I shrug my jacket off before walking over to her and picking her up.
I put my head on hers and feel that she’s really hot. “We should take your temperature,” I tell her, walking upstairs to her bedroom. “I know it’s in here somewhere.” I pull out baskets and find the little handle thing that I’ve been using daily to make sure her temperature is normal. “Shall we?” I ask, turning it on with a button and pointing it at her forehead. I wait for the beep before looking down and seeing the color red with the temperature. “One hundred and one. Shit,” I curse, putting it down. “Okay, time to call Eva.” This time I don’t dial her phone, I call her work line.
Someone answers the phone right away. “Hey, it’s Levi, is Eva working today?”
“She is,” she confirms, “she’s with a client.”
I think about what to do next but I have no idea what to do next. “It’s sort of an emergency. Do you think I can speak with her right away?” I declare at the same time that Cici whines in my arms. “Could you just tell her I’m on the phone?”
She takes a long time contemplating and I’m about to snap at her when she says, “Please hold.”
“She told me to hold,” I fill Cici in and I swear it feels like a million years before I hear Eva pick up the phone.
“Hello,” she says breathlessly.
“Where are you?” I ask, irritated, even though I know she’s at work because I just called there. “I’ve been calling you for the past hour. The daycare called me.”
“What?” she shrieks. “Why?”
“Cici has a fever,” I tell her. “They said they tried to call you.”
“Fuck,” she hisses. “My phone was on do not disturb from last night. I must have forgotten to switch it off this morning. I’m coming.”
“No,” I say, “it’s fine. I have her and I’m home.”
“What?” Again the shriek comes out of her.
“I said I’m fine, I have her. Her fever is at a hundred and one.” I look back at Cici who puts her head on my shoulder. “I’m going to give her Tylenol, I guess, but you have to call her doctor.”
“On it,” she replies. “Do you know where the Tylenol is?”
“It’s in her bathroom, no?” I ask for confirmation, walking toward her bathroom and pulling open the mirrored medicine cabinet. “It’s in a white bottle.”
“Yes, you have to give her two point five milliliters.” I’m about to ask her how the fuck am I supposed to know what two point five is when she continues, “Shake the bottle. Squeeze the top of the bottle and when you pull it out there is a syringe attached to it. Just squeeze it into her mouth slowly.”
“Okay, I’m on it.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she mumbles and I hang up the phone.
“Good news is she is going to be here soon,” I tell Cici. “Bad news is you got me.” She doesn’t smile and her eyes look droopy. “Let’s get you some medicine.” I walk back into her bedroom and set her on her changing table. She starts to whine. “I know but I need both hands,” I explain to her, squeezing the top of the bottle like Eva says and then unscrewing it. “Now I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if this tastes good or not.” I look at the red liquid. “Let me check.” I put a bit on my finger and then taste it. “Not the worst thing I’ve ever tasted and you did eat tofu the other day, so I’m thinking you can take this. But it’s going to make you feel better.” I put the tip in her mouth and she sucks on it. “See, my girl is a champ.” I praise her as I squeeze it into her mouth. I smile at her. “Now, can I change so we can go and chill on the couch?” I ask after I put the top back in the bottle. “I just need to put on my shorts and a T-shirt.”
Picking her up, I walk over to the bedroom, putting her on the closet carpet so she knows I’m not going anywhere. I grab a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and change faster than I ever have in my whole life.
She holds her hands up to me, meaning she’s over sitting on the floor as I pick her up. “How are we feeling?” I ask, walking down the stairs and toward the kitchen. “How about we get some water?” I quiz her, grabbing her little pink cup with handles on the sides. She grabs it as soon as I have it in my hand, bringing it to her mouth. I move slowly to the living room. “You know what we should do?” I sit on the couch, grabbing the remote. “Cuddle and watch television.”
Turning the television on, I lie on the couch with her on my chest. I kiss the top of her head as I flick through the channels. “It’s going to be okay,” I soothe her and she looks up at me, drool coming out of her mouth. “I bet you feel like ass right now.” She whines as she looks at me, telling me I’m right. “I probably shouldn’t say ass.” I smile as she lays her head on her arm for a second and then looks back up at me. “I bet you feel like… I can’t even say shit,” I mumble. “I bet you feel horrible.” She doesn’t answer me of course, she just rubs her face in my chest with snot all over me. “Wow.” I look down at her. “No other woman has ever gotten snot all over me.” I smile at her. “You are the first.” She smiles at me for a second before laying her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head. “It’s going to be okay.” Grabbing one of the linen covers on the couch, I lift her and then put her back down on my chest. “Don’t want you lying in snot,” I tell her as she lays her head back on my chest. I put my hand on her bum to make sure she doesn’t move. I watch television as she rests on my chest and I don’t know who falls asleep first, me or Cici.
