I look over my shoulder at the door we just walked out of, my head trying to process all the information Alice just gave me. I then look back at Eva as she stands there, her face pale, her eyes a bit puffy from probably crying all night long. I look up to the sky right before I start pacing back and forth. You can’t do this, one part of my head says, while the other part of my brain tells me, you have no choice but to do this. This is insane and totally crazy. This is never going to work. You can do this, the other part of my brain says. You have to do it. She would do it for you. I stop and look over at Eva, knowing hands down if the roles were reversed, she would have already been married to me. It would have been instant, and it would have been without a second thought. I would not have to talk her into it. I would not have to have her jump through hoops. I would not have to do any of that because that’s the friend she is. “Fine,” I huff, my heart hammering in my chest so much it’s about to explode. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Well.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Worst thing that can happen is I’m the best wife in the world. And I have to force you to divorce me.” She winks at me, the smile on her face is so big. “Then it gets awkward and I have to tell the judge that you just don’t do it for me. And you came up short in the bedroom.”
“There is nothing short in my bedroom.” I semi-glare at her and she just shrugs her shoulders.
“So you say,” she mumbles to herself.
I chuckle at her. “We should do this before I change my mind.” I walk over to the car, opening my door and stop to look over the hood at her. “We really are doing this?”
“Yes.” She nods before taking a deep breath in, but I don’t see her exhale as she holds it in. The wind picks up and her ponytail flies to the side.
“Should we go to Vegas?” I ask, looking at my watch and seeing it’s almost eleven. If we got on a flight in the next two hours, it would take six hours to get there, wasting a lot of time.
“Vegas might be good. I mean, that is where everyone else I know goes to elope.”
“Who is everyone you know?” I ask, pulling out my phone, looking down at it when she starts talking and I have to look up.
“Britney Spears.” She holds up one finger. “Kourtney Kardashian.” She holds up another finger. “Joe Jonas. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.”
“You don’t know those people, Eva,” I remind her, “those are celebrities.”
“You don’t know everything about me, Levi.” She glares at me. “I have other friends.”
“Shall we invite your friends to our wedding, then?” I ask, trying not to laugh.
“No, because they don’t know you,” she chuffs as she opens the car door and gets in, slamming it, and all I can do is laugh.
I open my own door and get in, starting the car and putting the phone on Bluetooth. As soon as it’s connected, I look for the contact and call the only person who, sadly, will know what to do in this situation. I mean, he might not know what to do exactly, but he’s with someone who would know. I click the phone button and Eva looks at the middle console; her eyes go big as she grabs on to my arm and squeezes when he picks up.
“Hey,” he answers after the second ring and before Eva can talk me out of calling him.
“Hey,” I greet back quickly, “how are you doing?”
I look over at Eva, who shakes her head and mouths, “I’m not here,” as she motions to her neck with her hand and shakes her head. “Can’t complain,” he replies. “What about you?”
This whole conversation is strained and I have no doubt Stefano feels it as well. “Yeah, yeah, it’s good,” I say. “Are you home?”
“I am,” he confirms. “Is everything okay with you?”
“Um, yeah,” I say, glancing at the screen, then looking out my window. “Listen, Eva and I are going to come visit with you tomorrow.”
“Eva,” he says her name, “and you”—his voice stops—“are coming to visit with me tomorrow?” He repeats my words and I close my eyes thinking maybe I should have just shown up at his place.
“Yeah,” I state as if it’s nothing and look over at Eva, who just shakes her head and mouths, “Idiot.”
“Is something wrong?” Stefano asks, his voice going low, and I hear he’s walking fast. “Should I come to you guys? Where is Eva?”
“She’s—” I start to say when I roll my eyes as I think of an excuse but nothing, and I mean nothing, is coming to me, my mind is a blank canvas. Actually, the only thing that is coming to me is I will probably be married by this time next week. Married. I open my left hand to see my finger. Will I wear a ring?
“I’m right here,” Eva pipes up, smacking my right arm to snap me out of my freak-out.
“You’re next to Levi, and you guys are coming down tomorrow?” he questions. I hear ringing and look down at my phone to see he’s trying to FaceTime us.
“What do I do?” I whisper over to Eva, who grabs the phone out of my hand.
“You’re the worst,” she whispers back, pressing the green button. She waits for the white circle to go around and say it’s connecting and Stefano’s face fills the screen.
He brings the phone close to his face. “Why does she look like that?” he grinds between clenched teeth. “Levi, did you do something?” I glare over at the phone, putting my head back on the headrest.
“Listen, it’s too much to explain right now,” Eva explains, “but I know you, and you’ll go all apeshit crazy.”
“Batshit crazy,” I correct her, “it’s you who is going batshit crazy.”
“Really?” she growls between clenched teeth. “Now you want to correct me?” She doesn’t even let me answer. “Anyway, before you alert the whole Greek family and they start descending on me, I’m fine, he’s fine.” She motions with her head toward me. “But there is something we need to talk about, and we will do it tomorrow when we get there.” She looks over at me. “Anything you would like to add?”
“Nope,” I reply, unsure of saying anything really. Stefano is the closest thing I have to a brother. Being an only child to parents who had me a lot later in life, who actually just had me so they could say they had me. They did their duty, but when I moved out and went to college, we drifted apart. They did their thing, I did mine. We would talk a couple of times a year but it was nothing like Stefano had with his parents. It was only when I was around Stefano and his parents that I realized I missed out. I know it’s not my parents’ fault, it’s just who they are. “I’m here with Eva and I’m going to book us flights today.”
“You are going to book flights?” Stefano says, chuckling. “The last time you booked yourself a flight you ended up going to another airport in a propeller plane.”
“How was I supposed to know they had two airports in Toronto?” I shout. “It said Toronto City, you can’t blame me for that.”
“You thought you were going to die.” He can’t stop laughing as he retells the story.
“What was I supposed to think? The plane kept getting closer and closer to the water,” I defend and Eva snatches the phone from me.
“Okay, I have things to do and you have things to do. I will send you the details. Give my love to Addison and Avery,” Eva declares, and she’s about to hang up when Stefano quickly chimes into the conversation.
“My parents are here. I’ll tell them you are coming.” I close my eyes and shake my head.
“Great.” Eva forces a smile on her face. “Can’t wait to see everyone.” She quickly hangs up and tosses the phone at me before grabbing her own cell phone.
“What are you doing?” I ask as she moves her fingers fast.
“I’m booking us on a flight. See, I’m already doing amazing as a wife.”
I roll my eyes and pull away from the building. “His parents are going to be there.” She looks over at me. “It’s one thing when it’s just you and me,” I continue, “but now your whole family will be there.”
“I know.” I hear her take a deep breath.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” I ask again when I pull up to her house.
“I have to do this, Levi,” she says, her voice going soft. “There is a little girl at stake.” She unbuckles her seat belt. “And I’m never going to not do what I can for her. If I have to get fake married to someone and pretend for a year so she’s with me forever, then that is what I’m going to do.”
“Fine,” I agree with her when she reaches for the door handle and opens the door.
“You should call Bridget.” She mentions another one of the girls I hook up with more frequently than the others.
“Why?” I ask, my eyebrows pinching together.
She smirks at me. “You’ll be less stressed.” She can’t even hide the smile. “And hopefully in a much better mood.”
“I’m fine,” I hiss at her.
“Are you sure?” she asks as she puts one foot out. “You don’t look fine.” She gets out of the car and bends down to finish. “And you’re even walking sluggish.”
I glare at her. “No, I’m not,” I retort.
“Okay, fine, you aren’t, but we should really sit down and talk about what the lawyer said.”
“We will have to talk about all the things,” I admit, “but let’s get this one thing out of the way and we can talk about the rest.”
“Okay,” she agrees. “We will talk tomorrow after we speak to Stefano. He’s usually good at this sort of thing.”
“What sort of thing?” I ask, confused now.
“Being a parent.” She chuckles. “He’s going to lay it out for us.”
“Is that what you think he’s going to do?” I turn toward her. “Two things are going to happen, either…” I hold up my finger. “One, he kicks my ass for even agreeing to this.” I swallow down that thought, knowing he wouldn’t kick my ass, but he would threaten to do it. Along with that goes his family of a million to come after me. “Or two, he will tell us we are both insane and come up with an even bigger plan than the one we have.”
“Fifty-fifty, then.” She smiles. “Go get the balls drained, and I’ll send you the flight details.” She doesn’t even wait for me to respond; she closes the door. I press the button to roll the window down.
“Are you going to call Juan?” I mention the last guy I know she hooked up with, she even dragged out the beginning of his name. She turns to look at me, walking backward, the smile on her face from ear to ear. Even with all the shit she has going on, the one thing you can count on her to do is to smile. “You should, you are walking a little to the side.”
