I COULD FEEL the sunshine on my face, but I wasn’t prepared to face a new day. I shifted and felt the sore muscles throughout my body. Sam had been incredible. After he’d discarded the condom, he’d quickly returned to bed as I was about to get up and get dressed when he made me lie with him. My head on his chest, his strong heart beating calmly, we had held hands and talked. Hands started to roam, and all too quickly, we had gone again. And again.
He was insatiable, and I didn’t complain. Especially when I lost count of how many orgasms he’d given me. At the end, we had to get creative because he was out of condoms. It was a little after ten when we ordered pizza from a local shop that thankfully delivered. Naked pizza time had been the best.
Sam Santino was hilarious and down to earth and dangerous for my heart. I kept having to remind myself we were just hooking up for the remainder of the trip.
We didn’t have a future.
No matter how much I wished we did.
“Macie.” His deep voice sounded against the back of my neck, and I was suddenly very aware of his body behind me.
His fully-dressed body.
“Morning,” I whispered, opening my eyes but not looking in his direction. His arms wrapped around me, his body solid behind me.
“We have thirty minutes before we gotta go,” he shared, and I swallowed hard. It seemed he had decided there would be no more naked fun, not in this room at least.
“Okay,” I said softly. He was dressed and waking me up so we could get on the road. He hadn’t bothered to wake me up before, in a way reiterating we were just a hookup. The cuddling and playfulness from the night before an obvious mistake.
“I’m gonna go grab us some food,” he shared, his hand leaving my waist and squeezing my shoulder before completely letting go. If we hooked up again, I had to remind myself we couldn’t do those things. It was too easy to blur the lines.
“Sounds good.” I tried to sound as cheerful as possible.
“Okay…” The mattress rose as he got out of bed, but he paused. No footsteps, and I knew he was looking at me. I wanted to turn and ask what the hell was going on, but I was too much of a chicken shit. I didn’t want to come off as clingy. “Macie?”
“Yeah?” I croaked, clearing my throat.
“Nothing.”
“Okay.” I willed myself to turn and look at him, forcing a smile. Talk about awkward. “I’ll get ready and packed quickly.”
“See you at the truck.” He wasn’t even going to come back to the room. I sat up, bringing the sheet up to cover my naked body, and avoided eye contact with him as he walked around the bed and left.
Sam
I was an idiot.
A complete fucking moron.
I’d woken up with Macie in my arms and a fucking hard-on that could have pounded nails. I’d kissed her shoulder, and she had smiled in her sleep, burrowing into me, her sweet ass bumping against me, my dick begging for another round, and I was about to when I remembered her words.
Fuck buddies.
The label left a bad taste in my mouth. I had no one to blame but myself when I had tried to set the boundaries and expectations. Confused and restless, I’d decided the best choice would be to hit the small hotel gym until I’d exhausted myself. Unfortunately, the second I stepped in, the sight of her was like a magnetic pull. She was a temptation I’d never expected. Growing up to fend for yourself, without being able to count on anyone, not even those responsible for raising you, did shit to a person. The indifference you felt grew and festered and stumped you emotionally. In the Marines I’d learned what brotherhood and family were about. But when it came to women, I’d never done anything close to commitment. I was a good time. A memory I made sure they would look back on with a smile.
But Macie was different.
And I had a feeling I’d all but fucked it up.
I’d fought the urge to get back into bed with her and hopped in the shower. I hated washing her off my body, my dick getting hard as I played the night before through my mind, over and over again. I got out and dressed in the bathroom, and when I stepped out, the line of her naked back, the dimples on her lower back, had me forgetting about why I shouldn’t.
I hadn’t been able to resist.
I tucked my body into hers, smelling her skin and hair. The scent comforting and enticing. But before I could kiss her skin, I felt her wake. I knew the moment she felt the difference between her nudity and my absence of it. My defensive mechanism kicked in, fully expecting her to drill me and find out why I’d gotten ready for the day while throwing a hissy fit like most women had before. But she didn’t.
Macie took me as I was.
A fucked-up idiot who had messed up the possibility of morning sex. Hell, for all I knew, she wouldn’t want me touching her anytime soon. Or ever. And that fucking sucked. In a rush to get some distance between us before I did something stupid like spill my guts over everything I was feeling, I suggested she get ready while I pick up breakfast, and she didn’t look at me. She simply agreed, and despite being right next to her, it was like the Sahara stood between us. When she finally turned her eyes to me, I felt like scum. The smile was fake, her gaze guarded. I’d done that.
_______________
I had royally fucked up.
Four hours on the road, one hundred and ninety-eight miles, and she’d said twelve words to me.
Yes. I had counted.
“Want to stop for lunch?” I asked, quickly clearing my throat, but she just shook her head. Her eyes gazing out the window. The road dashing by. I sighed.
I didn’t know what to do.
“Macie…” I started to say, trying to figure out a way to explain my stupidity.
“Don’t,” she bit, turning her head toward me. “You were clear. While we are on the road, we can save money on an extra room and hook up. You made it clear not to expect anything else.” My stomach clenched. God, I sounded like an asshole. Even then, I was about to step in it further.
“So, why are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you,” she clipped and turned forward, her eyes no longer on me, and I wished I could pull over, grab her, and have this conversation with her on my lap. What the hell is your problem, Santino?
“Could have fooled me,” I muttered under my breath.
“If you have to know, I’m mad at myself. I didn’t know it was last night only. I was under the impression it would be for the entire road trip.”
“Who said it was last night only?” I glanced in her direction, my brows bunched together.
“You did.”
“I did?” I scoffed.
“Sam, you made it very clear you were done with me this morning,” she huffed with a humorless chuckle and shake to her pretty head.
“What the hell?”
“Oh, please.” I could practically hear her rolling her eyes, and I breathed in.
“What?”
“Offended much because I’m being honest?”
“Honest?” I bit, getting heated while getting off her fire and bite. “How are you—”
“You were dressed.”
“I was.”
“And you didn’t want anything to do with me,” she complained, and I knew I shouldn’t think she was cute while getting mad at myself, but I did. Not that she noticed as she kept on with her rant. “I know a cold front when I see one, Sam. You did nothing but give me the cold shoulder once I woke up. Which, hey, cool, but don’t play stupid games.”
“You’re just pissed because you’re dying for a chance to gag on it.” I was an asshole and hated I’d said the words the moment they’d come out, but there was no taking them back.
“Fuck you.” Her face was flushed and mad.
“Fuck me?” I’d had enough.
Without thought or a clue as to what the hell I was doing, I set my blinker and pulled over to the shoulder. The entire time completely forgetting Brandon and Nina were in front of us.
“What are you doing?” she squealed with wide eyes.
“Shut it,” I clipped, setting the van in park. Double checking it was clear, I got out of my side, went to the passenger side, and opened the door wide, her eyes right on mine.
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing!” she yelled, but I didn’t care. I closed the space between us. “Sam—” But I wasn’t going to let her say another fucking word.
I kissed her.
Like a fucking lunatic, I rushed in, my hands grabbing the sides of her face, and crushed my lips to hers. She stilled for a mere second before she kissed me back. With urgency and need. The world melted away. At that moment, we weren’t pulled to the side of the road on a highway in the middle of God only knew what state with cars and trucks flying past us.
We just were.
The kiss grew punishing and angry. Passionate and heated. The two of us speaking a language only the two of us seemed to be fluent in. The kiss purging out our frustrations. And damn it to hell, it was fucking perfect. She was fucking perfect. Mine. The need to claim her and the realization of it had me pulling away, breaking the moment.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled against her lips, our breathing ragged. “Last night was fucking incredible.” Jesus Christ, who the hell am I? “And I didn’t know how to do the morning thing,” I confessed like some kind of girl. I didn’t do this. I didn’t talk feelings, but there I was with her because I knew she needed to hear it.
“Because we ran out of condoms?” she adorably asked, and I laughed. If it only were that simple. My forehead pressed against hers, I shook my head. “No, because… because you make me want more.” Shut up, Santino! Red flags were waving back and forth, but I couldn’t get myself to pay attention to them.
“More.”
“So much more and—’
“Hey, you guys okay?” Brandon’s voice called, and I looked over. He must have passed us and stopped on the shoulder and reversed toward us. Now standing by Nina’s car.
“We okay?” I asked her, my attention completely on her. She looked at me through her lashes and licked her lips. Knowing she could taste me made a surge of primal need wash over my body. What the hell is wrong with me? But before I could say something like ‘You. Mine,’ she nodded with a small smile on her face.
“We’re okay,” she said softly, her hands on my chest moving to stroke my jaw. The caress making it impossible for me to help myself, I kissed her one more time. I pulled away and kissed the tip of her nose and shut her door.
“We’re good!” I waved at Bran, and he looked at me like he didn’t know if he wanted to hit me upside the head or high-five me. Which I completely understood. I didn’t know which I wanted to do to myself either.
I settled in and pulled back onto the road.
This time, her hand was in mine and the silence wasn’t so deafening.
