“VEGAS?” I REPEATED, wondering what the hell Nina had smoked.
“Yeah, why not?” Nina asked, the hope in her eyes too bright to extinguish. “We could spend a day or two.” Oh lord.
“A day or two?” I repeated, wondering what alien had invaded my best friend’s body.
“And it would be during the week, so the hotel would be close to nothing.”
We were at a bar across the street from where we had decided to stop for the night. Like promised, Nina and I were having a drink and catching up, the guys planning on meeting us here for dinner in an hour.
Things weren’t completely weird with Sam after he pulled over and did his whole you make me want more thing. Our conversations had picked up after I was done ignoring him. We’d talked about movies we’d grown up watching. We even talked a little more about this morning. With the air cleared, we were back to holding hands and me moving to the center spot of the bench seat in the van, resting my head on his shoulder.
When we arrived at our hotel a little after nine, something happened. We met up with Brandon and Nina, deciding to share a room again. He kissed me with so much passion it made my toes curl. But the moment we met up with Brandon and Nina, he suddenly turned cold. Dropping my hand, putting space between us, figuratively and literally. The mixed signals were making my head spin.
One minute he wanted more, and the next he was treating me like a buddy.
But right then and there wasn’t about Sam. It was about spending time with my bestie, who was acting very unlike herself.
“Okay, you gotta give me more than this, babe,” I pressed and heard her sigh.
“Mace.”
“You were in a hurry to get home and start planning a wedding and find an apartment. Now you’re talking about stopping in Vegas, which you said you hated. What’s going on?” I held her hand and waited her out.
“I… I’m not ready to go home yet.”
“What?” Oh, dear baby Jesus, please don’t tell me she was having second thoughts about her and Brandon.
“When we get back, it’s… it’s going to be crazy,” she confided. I could understand that.
“Only until we get settled,” I tried to brighten the situation.
“No,” she knocked down. “It’s going to be his family and mine all up in our business and then wedding plans, all on top of getting settled.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, waiting her out again.
“I just want time for us. Does that make sense?”
“I can see that.”
“And I know it makes me a shitty friend to ask this from you.”
“Why?” I laughed, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted, but judging by the concern on Nina’s face, something was weighing heavy on her.
“Because it’s two less days to get us settled and ready for our new jobs.” There was that. I hadn’t even thought about that.
“But in the great scheme of it all, it would be time for you two. Alone time. I mean it’s not like you’ve had a bunch of it. You’ve been apart for how long?”
“Exactly. And you could relax and chill by the pool and—’
“Fine, twist my arm,” I mockingly complained but then winked. “I’m in.”
“Really?” The excitement in my friend’s eyes was growing by the minute.
“Of course,” I agreed easily. The idea of stopping for a couple of days after all that time in a moving van sounded like music to my ears.
“Is this about Sam?” Nina asked, unable to help herself.
“I was surprised you didn’t ask before.” I laughed, and she grinned.
“I didn’t want to be nosy.” She shrugged.
“Since when?” I chuckled, and she rolled her eyes good naturedly. “It’s not about Sam,” I added, unable to stop myself. “I… I’m not sure what that is or what’s going to happen.”
“But?”
“But…” Words failed me.
I liked Sam. The more time slipped past us, the more I enjoyed being around him
“Holy crap, you like-like him,” she said, her eyes so wide it would have been funny if I wasn’t about two point five seconds from freaking the hell out. I did. Holy shit. But I didn’t do that. I wasn’t the kind that fell for a guy. I knew better. Or at least I had thought I did.
“I…” My voice cracked. “Shit,” I whispered. “But it’s not what you’re making it out to be,” I quickly tried to save, but by the look on Nina’s face, I knew there was no bullshitting my way around it.
He had said he wanted more, but did I? Yes. I wanted more.
The realization was more than daunting.
“How can you be so sure it’s not more?” Nina pressed, unaware of my inner turmoil.
“Because…” My voice drifted to silence. A gnawing pain hit the side of my gut. “My parents had more,” I blurted out to my best friend in the whole wide world. “And look at my dad now. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t even know… I mean…”
“Love isn’t a bad thing, Macie.”
“Nina, I adore you, but you have hearts in your eyes and want everyone else to get your disease,” I joked, and she playfully narrowed her gaze. “Back to Vegas—’
“Have you two slept together?”
“I’m not going to answer that,” I quickly said, but we both knew I was a shit liar and had a terrible poker face.
“I think you just did.” She giggled, raising her glass of wine and winking.
“Anyhow… like I was saying about Vegas… like you said, it’s not like it’s terribly pricy. When are we going to have this chance again? A year from now?” I changed the subject, and she watched me over the rim of her glass and finally nodded.
“Probably.”
“Then let’s do it. Kicking back by a pool with an umbrella drink doesn’t sound horrible. Maybe I’ll get a massage to work out all the kinks from the trip.”
“Really?”
“Really. Plus, Vegas isn’t far from our final destination. It’ll be cool” I reassured her.
Sam
“Vegas?” I repeated, dying to look over my shoulder at the table where Macie and Nina were sitting but somehow managed to hold on to some kind of semblance of control.
“Yeah.” Brandon took a long swig of his longneck. “What do you think?” What did I think of stopping in Vegas for a couple of days?
“Promise me you’re not going to do something insane like get hitched in secret by Elvis.”
“What?” he chuckled and shook his head. “My mom would kill me.”
“That’s why I’m making you promise,” I teased, and he laughed.
“Nah, man…” His gaze went over my shoulder, and I knew where he was looking. His eyes filled with so much emotion, love, and gratefulness, for a split second I wondered if I looked at Macie the same way. Like she was the reason stars existed. Retreat, Santino! “She deserves more than some drive-thru chapel,” Brandon added, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I nodded but then shrugged.
“All the fuss and muss of a wedding… mere minutes after getting together? You sure you guys ready for that?” I asked, curious about how the hell you had the balls to do something that crazy.
“Fuck yeah.”
“Really?” I asked, trying not to show too much interest. His gaze suddenly narrowed and his attention was back on me.
“What’s with all the questions?”
“Nothing,” I scoffed and took a long drink. But Brandon was fucking astute. Too observant for his own good. “I mean I was just making sure my boy knows what he’s doing.”
“I do. Thanks for the concern. But do you?”
“Always. I’m serious, Bran, I have no—’
“Do me a favor, yeah? Don’t bullshit me.” Bran cut me off. “I don’t have the time, nor do I want to waste the energy, no offense,” he laid out. Trying to sweep his questions away, I dramatically touched my chest.
“Ouch! I’m hurt. Thought we were friends.”
“That’s why I’m asking,” he pressed.
“Like I said, I have no—’
“I have eyes, man. I’m not an idiot. Saw you two. Don’t know what the fight was about or why the hell you had to pull over, but even before today, I saw it.”
“Saw it?” I cravingly repeated, wondering if we were on the same page. Were my feelings that fucking transparent?
Brandon opened and then closed his mouth and studied me for a long moment. The seriousness in his features made my stomach tighten, but what was worse was his coldness fading to a cruel smile.
“This is going to be interesting to watch.”
“Wait, what?” I asked, confused and caught off guard. My brows bunched together as I sat there and waited for him to finish his beer.
“I hope to God for your sake you don’t fuck this up,” he stated, and I blinked once.
“Brandon—” But he put a hand up and stopped any other words from slipping out.
“Just remember, I’m here when you do mess shit up.”
“Are we going to paint each other’s nails now?” I bristled, and he laughed until he went serious, his gaze unwavering from mine.
“Known you a long time. You’re my brother. Because of that, I gotta tell you. We both know how fucking short life can be. Minute by minute, time slips past us way too quickly. Don’t be an idiot. Not when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“Matters of the heart?” I repeated and shook my head. “Bran—”
“Macie isn’t like the girls you’re used to, and you fucking know it,” he laid out quietly, but he wasn’t done by a long shot. “It’s why you’re conflicted. I see it. I know her a little, and what I know of her, and I say this with respect, man, without a doubt you could do worse. You have. I just don’t think you could do better. She’s solid. Smart and fucking funny. Loyal like you have no idea.” He sat back and ran his hand over his face. “She’s not going to be a cake walk. She has her own issues.”
“Who doesn’t?” I defended, and the asshole smirked.
“Welp, on that note, I’m done with my drink. Good music playing means I should be dancing with my girl, not sitting here with your sorry ass.”
“Fuck off,” I mumbled, slightly pissed. At who I had no idea. The combination of confusion and anticipation was a tough one to swallow.
“Don’t forget, come to me when you fuck it up.” He laughed and waved, making his way past me and to the girls’ table. I didn’t turn. I succeeded for about thirty seconds.
I watched Brandon reach the girls’ table. Nina smiled up at him and shook her head as she looked at him adoringly before took the hand he offered and they walked off to the dance floor of the bar. A slow song played. Something soft and mellow, slightly familiar, the deep crooning voice coming through the speakers. They joined the other couples on the dance floor and started to sway back and forth. I looked over to the table. Macie was smiling at her friend and mine as they danced. What she didn’t do was look in my direction. And I wanted it. Craved it. Like a mad man torn, perplexed about what the hell to do when it came to her.
But in a moment of clarity, I let go. Let my mind go free as Brandon’s fucking advice played in my head. Minute by minute, time slips past us. I knew personally how much Brandon regretted those two years without contacting Nina. It didn’t dampen how he felt about her. Did I want to look back and hate myself for wasting time?
“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself as I stood, dropping a twenty on the table to cover tip and our beers before my legs ate up the space between us.
“What do you want?” she asked, as if sensing me behind her. Not that she bothered to look at me.
“Macie.” She turned her beautiful eyes to mine, and I forgot what I was going to say. “Dance with me?” The words slipped out like it was what I had planned all along when I hadn’t had any intention of it. I was not a dancer.
“Sam?” She searched my face, and I knew I was throwing mixed signals like hell and I had to get a hold on it, but I needed her more.
“Dance with me?” I put my hand out, silently urging her to take it and dance with me. I ignored the voice in my head telling me to walk away and save myself. The struggle was clear in her eyes. I got it. I wasn’t a good bet. I was jerking her chain. I didn’t have much to offer, not in the long run at least. I was a fucking wanderer. Brandon wasn’t wrong. She was nothing like the girls who had come before. She was what I could only dream about. I didn’t deserve her.
And yet I was right there. Waiting. I saw the moment she decided, and I was speechless. She reached out, her hand touched mine, and something washed over me. We’d touched before. Hell, I knew every inch of her body, but this was different. Different in a way that scared the hell out of me but I wasn’t strong enough to give up.
We reached the dance floor, and I brought her in close. Her scent and warmth, the feel of her body in my arms, overwhelmed me in the most primal way possible. My body reacted like it always did but again with the hint of more, and as we swayed to deep, sultry notes, I tried to grasp at what it was. A foreign feeling, one that made me scared to let go of her.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was home.
