Iwoke up to an empty bed, wondering where Addy and Jim were. I was sure that if Addy’d had a rough morning, still thinking about her dad, then Jim would have woken me up. Addy slept soundly last night, and even though I should have been knocked the hell out, I slept with one eye open, my mind still trying to settle down.
I heard giggling coming from downstairs, so I got up, pulled down my tank, and readjusted my comfy shorts. I walked out onto Jim’s luxurious balcony and looked down at the pool. It was more like a fucking patio out here than a balcony. It was arranged with large pots with palms in them, another fire pit, expensive outdoor furniture, and beautiful rugs to tie it all together. This view went on for eternity, and it was magnificent. I redirected my attention when I heard Addy squeal, but I saw no waves in the infinity pool below.
Where the hell are they? What time is it? I thought, happy and fulfilled with this gorgeous new day. I was leaving the garbage of yesterday’s hell in the past and not letting it ruin this.
I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to see Addy, sitting on the counter and stirring what looked to be green pancake mix while Jim was cooking at her side.
“Mommy!” Addy wiggled her legs. “We making green eggs, look!”
“Green eggs and ham, eh?” I laughed and kissed her forehead before I wrapped my arms around Jim as he intently worked his stovetop like a master of culinary. “Good morning, handsome.”
He leaned his head over, and I gave him a peck on his cheek.
“Ew, mom, that’s gross.” She giggled, stirring her green scrambled eggs. “Green eggs and ham!” she teased at Jim.
“I will not eat them, Jim I am!” he said with a laugh.
“Jim said this is so gross,” she said in her adorable little Shirley Temple voice. “You will eat them. Yes, you will.” She was so animated and happy that I couldn’t help but smile.
“The coffee’s fresh, Av,” he said, pointing tongs in the direction of his coffee mugs and French press.
I poured myself a cup and leaned against the counter, watching the two. “I have to say, I like it when you call me that.”
Jim smirked. “I like it when you call me Jim,” he said with a sexy wink.
“Yes. His name is Jim now, Mom,” Addy confirmed.
“Got it. And Jim I am is not eating his own food?”
“The only green things Jim eats are vegetables,” he said, sliding the ham off the griddle and onto a plate.
“Now, that’s gross,” Addy said.
“That’s healthy, little missy,” Jim teased, taking the bowl of scrambled green eggs from her. “Even my doctor says so.”
“Doctors, ugh.” Addy dramatically sighed as she watched Jim cooking her eggs.
“Oh,” I said, sipping more coffee. “You don’t like doctors?”
“They boring, Momma,” Addy answered me.
Jim smirked. “You know my brother is a doctor, and my friend is one too.”
“No way, mister,” she said in a playful voice.
“Yes way,” he said, looking at her. “And Jake and Collin might cry when they find out that you think they are boring.”
“Oh.” Addy cringed, crinkling her nose. “They’re my friends,” she said thoughtfully.
“They are fun,” I added with a smile. “And they are doctors. They save lives, Addy.”
“Okay.” She sighed. “But I’m not eating veggies. I don’t care how much they love me,” she said, her eyebrows raised to emphasize how serious she was about the subject.
“What if Collin and Jake say you should so you can grow big and strong?” I asked while Jim held back his laughter.
“And get big muscles like Jim’s?” she asked.
Addy was stating the obvious. The guy was wearing a T-shirt, and the poor shirt sleeves struggled not to burst against his massive biceps. How much did this man workout, and how did he find the time? He might’ve had some good genetics, but to get this, he had to have been working overtime. At least that’s what I guessed. Who was I kidding? I didn’t give a shit how he got it. It was lovely to enjoy it.
“Yep,” Jim said, spooning the green scrambled eggs onto a platter. “I have to eat my veggies, so,” he turned to her and gripped her calf, to which she squealed, “I can get big strong legs,” he poked her nose, “smell food better,” and he squeezed her while pulling her off the counter, “and pick up little ones like you.”
Addy ran over to me, and I hugged her while Jim went into his zone and started plating dishes. His consisted of ham and fruit, and after I gave him a nod of being okay to eat my green eggs, he served up mine and Addison’s on his white, square plates.
“Jim, you have to try them. You have to try green eggs,” Addison said, her little hands holding onto the counter, watching him.
He took all three plates, balancing one in the bend of his arm, “I will not eat them here,” Jim said, setting my plate at the table, facing the view and pool, “I will not eat them there,” he said, setting Addy’s plate in front of her, “I simply will not eat them anywhere.”
Jim sat as I poured Addy orange juice from the carafe on the table, and she took the glass. “You are ruining the story, Jim,” she said, sipping her juice. “He does eat them in the end.” She poked her fork into her fluffy green eggs. “And he loves them.” She took a bite and then moaned and gave Jim a thumbs up and a brisk nod.
I looked at Jim as he teased Addy by forking a piece of cantaloupe and eating it.
“You don’t like the eggs because they’re green?” I asked.
He swallowed and shook his head. “Nope,” he said in the playful tone he’d used with Addison.
“Jim’s crazy. Green eggs are my new favorite,” Addison said.
I took a bite. This guy could fucking cook. The eggs were seasoned deliciously, were fluffy, and could melt in your mouth.
“These are so good,” I said. “Are you roleplaying Addy’s favorite book or just suddenly not eating eggs?”
“I prefer them over-easy.” He leaned over and snuck a kiss after I licked my lips. “With eggs, I’m quite picky.”
“Well, the book shows green eggs, over easy, not scrambled, so you cheated.” I smiled at him.
He smirked. “Shh.”
That morning, we toured Jim’s house, Addy leading the way as I explained that it was another cool vacation home that Jim had brought us to. She was attaching quickly and already not wanting to leave. She had no idea how badly I wanted to stay here forever too, but I kept reminding myself that Jim and I were taking it slow. At least I thought we were.
That afternoon, we played in the water, Jim throwing Addy over his shoulders and teaching her diving maneuvers. Now Addy’s new favorite thing to do was dive in the water and swim to Jim’s arms. Their laughs, the random kisses I got when they both approached me on my floating lounge—I could die right here and now, this was the most content I’d ever felt. It was as though we were the last three people on earth.
Addy chose to lay next to Jim in the shade when we got out of the water, and I laid down on a lounge chair watching as Addy fell fast asleep. Jim and Addy were stretched out on one of Jim’s outdoor queen-sized chaise lounges. I was so relaxed that I closed my eyes and let the warm sun soothe my entire body and soul. This was paradise.
After about thirty minutes or so of closing my eyes, I reopened them to peek over at Jim. His eyes were hidden behind his dark aviator sunglasses, and his lips were twisted into a look of concentration while he stared intently at his laptop.
“Hard at work, I see?” I playfully nudged his side with my toe.
He grinned. “Just handling this last issue so I can enjoy my girls and turn it all off as I should have before,” he said while I eased myself off my chair and squeezed onto his and Addy’s lounge where he was propped up on huge pillows.
“This has been such an awesome afternoon,” I said. “Makes the horrors of yesterday go away. How was Addy when she woke up this morning?” I asked as he shut the laptop and tossed it off like it didn’t cost the four-thousand bucks that little logo made it worth. “I didn’t even hear either of you get up.” I smiled at him.
He brought his arm around me. “I sort of had to switch some gears—mental ones, with her,” he said, kissing my temple, “but all is well now, I think.”
“What do you mean? Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked.
“There was no reason to wake you up. I just—I don’t know. Addy said she wished I was her real dad,” he said carefully.
“Oh, shit,” I said. “Well, I don’t blame her. I actually like that she wants that.”
“You have no idea how much I loved hearing it, but I also know what’s going on with her real dad,” he said. “It’s got to be very confusing for her.”
“I know.” I sighed.
“What did you do with that phone he planted? Is it still with you?” he asked, his voice growing serious.
“I threw the damn thing in the first trash can I could find at the beach. That mother fucker can go find it on his own if he wants it back.”
“Why won’t you get full custody of her?” he asked. “I mean—”
“You know the reasons. I already told you.” I didn’t like where this conversation was headed, and yet, I felt like I knew this was coming.
“You did tell me your reasons, I just don’t think I understand them,” he said.
I pulled away from him, feeling defensive. “I’m not risking her being taken away. I won’t do it.”
Jim’s lips tightened, and he shook his head. “How the hell did he even get out of jail?”
“His parents most likely gave in like the suckers they are, too worried about him being in jail, and bailed him out.”
“Unreal.” He shook his head in disgust. “And the phone? I’m fairly sure the idiot’s credit is shot.”
“His parents probably got it for Addy. They worry.”
“Come on, Avery.” He leaned up. “This is not fucking healthy for you.”
“My daughter being as happy as I can make her is what’s healthy for me.” I was starting to reel. Why did this have to come up now after the peaceful day we were having?
“You think yesterday fulfilled that dream of her happiness?” he said in a quiet voice.
I instantly started to flare up at him. “Of course not!” I snapped. “But ripping her away from her grandparents isn’t going to make her feel any better. You have no idea. If I get full custody of Addy, she’ll never see them again.”
“How the fuck so?” Jim was getting pissed, but his voice stayed steady and low. “Avery, how do you not see that she can’t be around that dick again until he gets help?”
“She loves her papa and grandma, and he lives with them. If I get full custody, they don’t ever see her because that’s his residence.”
“Why haven’t they kicked his ass out? How old is he?” he asked.
“Thirty-five,” I answered. “Still living at home.”
“My brother is fucking Chief of Cardiology at thirty-five. I’m two years older than Derek, and I run a successful business after busting my ass to get there. And this piece of shit lives at home?” His eyebrows rose while I stared at him, livid-pissed he was going off on me about Derek’s bullshit as if I hadn’t lived with it every single day for years. “He fucking lives at home with a nice truck. Then he bullies your ass around like he did yesterday, can’t give two fucks about the way it traumatizes his daughter. It makes no sense to me. None.”
That last part was Jim in that CEO tone I’d heard him use when he started commanding shit. I was furious, and I didn’t know exactly why. Was I angry at Jim for making it sound like I didn’t have my daughter’s well-being in mind, or was I mad at myself because he had witnessed enough to draw that conclusion?
“You don’t fucking understand,” I said, trying to keep it together.
He shook his head, and I could tell he was not happy with that answer. “No, Avery, I don’t fucking understand. I imagine that after yesterday you would want nothing more than to ensure he never comes around you or that precious little girl again.”
“I can’t take—”
“I get it,” he said, getting up. “One thing I despise is excuses. I am not programmed to accept them, I guess. Jesus Christ, I can’t even handle them from my team members, let alone when it comes to the two people I care for most and the one person who can do something about it, but she won’t.”
“This is my child and my life. I’m doing the best I can with it,” I shot back angrily, following him away from where Addy was asleep. My defense mechanisms were in full swing. How dare he or anyone say anything to me about caring for my child? “You don’t know how much she loves Larry and Annette.”
“Then her grandparents need to stop bringing that fuck-up around the granddaughter who loves them so much,” he said, hands in his pockets and staring past me. “It’s all fucked up, Avery, I know that. I know how hard this must be for you. Addicts like him mess everything up. I see where this dick is fucking over you and Addy, and I’m telling you, you are the only one who can end it.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m doing everything I can, Jim.” My voice cracked as I tried desperately to hold back my anger and my tears. “I think I’ve been doing it well, too, since way before you came around. Addy and I are happy. Derek does this shit, and then it just goes away.”
“Av,” his voice lowered with pity, “you have to see through this bullshit somehow. If not for you and the two breakdowns I’ve witnessed that scumbag force you into, then for your daughter. I need to know you’re going to take the help I promised you in Palm Springs to get that fucker out of your life.” He ran a hand through his hair when the door chime audibly alerted him on the outdoor intercom, and Jake’s voice came through, announcing that he and Ash were here with more pool toys.
The problem with what Jim expected of me was that I wasn’t brave enough to use the lawyers he would hire to help me gain custody of my daughter. Jim didn’t know the details of my dark history. My jail time, me being a user, and that being the reason why I ended up with Derek in the first place. How could I ever expect someone like Jim to understand?
