Imight have overstepped my bounds in my conversation with Avery by the pool that morning, but I couldn’t help it. I loved her and Addy too, and so this Derek asshole ignited a rage within me that was hard to explain. He brought out feelings inside me that only one other person had—my mother. Living with an addict was detrimental to my brother and me in so many ways, and the last thing I wanted was for Addy to have even a sliver of the childhood I’d experienced.
The more I thought about Avery and Addy’s situation, the more unanswered questions were brought to my mind. Would my mother have cheated on my dad if she weren’t using drugs? Would she have given half a damn about her two little boys if she weren’t a selfish addict? Would it have all been so different if she weren’t so consumed with her self-destructive habits?
It didn’t matter now. I couldn’t change the past, but I could help shift Avery and Addy’s future.
Avery and I sat at a quiet corner booth in a diner, not having said much since our disagreement from earlier. She and Ash had dropped off Addy at that church to practice singing for her Christmas program earlier in the afternoon, so Avery and I hadn’t had a chance to finish our conversation. If I was honest, I wasn’t sure what else to say, and from Avery’s lack of engagement on the topic, I assumed she felt the same way.
“Jim,” Avery interrupted my thoughts, “are you still with me?”
“Sorry. There’s a lot of shit on my mind,” I answered truthfully.
“Well, we have about twenty minutes before I have to leave to pick up Addy from her singing practice.” She grabbed the check off the table and smiled at me. “This one is on me.”
“No, no. You don’t have to do that,” I insisted as Avery stood up.
“I know I don’t. Be right back,” she said with a wink as she walked up to the register.
I placed my elbows on the table, folded my hands together, and watched her handle the transaction. She was such a strong, capable woman, and maybe that was why I couldn’t fucking understand why she was cowering in this aspect of her life when it mattered the most. Why would she be so intimidated by such a small, insignificant, manipulative man?
I had no control over Avery’s decisions, and I definitely couldn’t understand them, but I wasn’t the type of person who was capable of backing down, especially when it came to something important to me. Avery was an attentive and doting mother, making her behavior when it came to this toxic man utterly baffling.
Why not pluck the weed out from its root and be done with it? Why not set custody in stone and demand he gets help? Why all of the enabling? There was no excuse for his behavior, in my opinion. No amount of guilt, or whatever the fuck Avery was dealing with, would make me bring that child around that man if it were up to me. I don’t give a shit if Addy’s grandparents were Santa and Mrs. Claus, there’s no fucking way I would want her in that environment with an unstable drug addict.
I took one last drink of my iced tea and stood with a forced smile. I had to clear my head. I was on the brink of having to fly to London for work, and I didn’t want to leave my girls like this.
We walked to our cars, which were parked next to each other in the back of the gated parking lot. I leaned against mine, wishing we’d had more quality time together. I despised the tension between us.
Avery studied me after I pulled on my sunglasses, and she crossed her arms. “You’re pissed off at me, aren’t you?” she questioned with a snarky grin.
“Not pissed, gorgeous.” I reached for her hand and pulled her to where I reclined against the passenger side of my car.
I went to kiss her, but she covered my mouth before it reached her lips. She giggled, and it instantly lightened the mood. Maybe this potential of having to fly to London was partly to blame for my attitude.
“Yes,” she said as I kissed the palm of her soft hand, “you’re pissed. You hardly said a word at dinner.”
“I’m sorry if my temperament made you uncomfortable. I never want to make you feel that way, no matter what is on my mind.”
She smiled, leaning against me, her arms stretched over each of my shoulders. “It’s okay.”
I missed her perfume, her kiss, her ass—where my hands instantly went. I missed her so much and couldn’t lose her. Fuck that miserable prick for being a thorn in my side, and me not being able to do a damn thing about it.
I ran my hands up her back, feeling her warm skin through her light shirt. “I’m having a pretty hard time not throwing you into the backseat of your car and fucking you here and now,” I teased, tickling her neck with my tongue and lips now.
“That doesn’t sound half bad to me.” She ran her fingers through my hair. “But I could only imagine what it would look like when we got caught doing that.”
I smiled against her flesh. “And with a car seat in the back, no less.” I brought my face back to meet her brilliant blue eyes. “At least they wouldn’t question we’d be needing another one in nine months?”
Avery shook her head, “You’re impossible.”
I chewed on my bottom lip. “You’ve seen me on my phone and doing emails since this morning. It’s because my London offices are trying to send me into an early grave, and now I’m dealing with something.”
“Spit it out,” she said.
“I know this coming weekend is supposed to be our weekend together, given you’re having Addy stay with her grandparents, but I may have to fly to London on Friday. I’m trying to bust this shit out with every resource I have available, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get out of this one so easily.”
She smiled. “I can survive a weekend without you.”
“I may be there through the entire week after,” I said. “It all depends on the hotel chain we’re working with. I’m certain if I don’t meet face-to-face with the owner, wining and dining and shit like that, we’ll lose the damn deal.”
“Hey, now. Will you be finding another wife to help you pass the time?” She arched her eyebrow at me.
I laughed. “I’ll be staying in the city, and the first chance I get, I’m flying home,” I said.
Avery’s cell phone alarm went off. “That’s my timer. I had a feeling I’d get caught up with you and forget to pick my little Christmas angel up from practice.”
I stood and brought her in, holding her tightly against me. “I love you.”
“Well, if you can manage,” she said, “meet me for lunch tomorrow.”
“I’m stacked in, gorgeous,” I said. “Trust me, I’m doing everything I can to get out of flying to London.”
“I know I gave you shit for being chained to work, but I do get it. I am still here, and Addy will still be here. Women have their men traveling for work all the time. Don’t start slacking on your job just because you’re dating some crazy hot chick with dazzling eyes, Mr. Mitchell.”
“You have it all nailed down, don’t you?”
“I’m at peace with it. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if your elite, sexy ass had to take your private jet to Dubai for some business conference too.” She laughed, and then after a small kiss, she turned to get into her driver’s seat. “Despite the low points, I had a fantastic weekend, Jim. Thank you so much for everything. Addy loved it, and so did I.”
“I love making my ladies happy,” I said, relieved we ended our weekend on a high note.
I waved her off after she blew me a kiss and then floored it in the open parking lot, most likely just to taunt me with the reminder of her lead foot.
After a painstaking week of non-stop work, Thursday night was when I knew I had to fucking fly to London for sure. This deal had me by the balls in the worst way. It didn’t matter that I’d busted my ass all week—missing out on so many opportunities to see Avery—this trip couldn’t be avoided.
Friday morning, I called Avery to give her the news. It was bad enough that I’d sacrificed so many lunches and dinners that we could’ve shared all week, now that was all for nothing.
“I’m getting ready for work,” she said. “I’m guessing this is the call that we’re not seeing each other this weekend?”
“Yes. I’m so sorry. I tried everything, really,” I said as I buckled into the leather captain’s chair on the company’s jet. “Next weekend, perhaps we can try out the beach thing again?”
“You might need drysuits instead of wetsuits this time. It’s going to be chilly next weekend since we are heading into fall.”
“Those are the best waves,” I said with a smile.
“Yeah, Addy isn’t going near those.”
“What if Addy and I watched her badass mom enjoy them instead?”
“Are you already at the airport? Damn, you’re leaving early. You must’ve been up since three in the morning.” She laughed into the phone. “Oh, hold up, that’s Larry calling me,” she said before clicking over.
I watched the tarmac as the plane backed out, Alex sitting across from me, finishing up whatever call he was on before we took off. I did not want to leave, but I knew I’d be more focused once we were in the air, and Alex and I would start going through numbers and marketing pitches for the chain we were busting our asses to secure.
“Jim,” she said in a softer voice when she resumed our call, “are you still there?”
“Yeah, we’re slowing backing out, everything good?”
“Listen,” her voice became stern, “I’m never going to hide shit like this from you, but don’t lose it when I tell you I’ve got this and can handle it, okay?”
I rubbed my forehead. “Go on,” I said, knowing this was about Derek and praying with all that I was that she was about to tell me she was keeping Addy this weekend if that fucker was out again.
“Derek’s at the house. He’s out. I’m fucking pissed about it too, but Larry and Annette said they’d be the first to call the cops on his ass if he so much as touches anything to get high around Addy.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced the rage into my balled-up fists. “I won’t even ask how he was released,” I said as calmly as I could. “You feel comfortable with Addison around him after he scared the fuck out of her last weekend?”
“I’m leaving this up to Addy. If she doesn’t want to go, then she stays with me.”
“Jesus, Avery, she’s a three-year-old child,” I said, beside myself that Avery was handling this situation in this way. It was as though the beach incident had never fucking happened. “You have to make this decision for her,” I pleaded. “Avery?”
“I know how to deal with my daughter and Derek, goddammit. Please don’t do this again. Addy will tell me if she doesn’t want to go.”
“Okay,” I said, my jaw so tight I felt a spasm in both cheeks. “You have Jake and Ash’s numbers, right? I’ll even have Collin text his number to you.”
“Slow down,” she said. “I don’t need you trying to protect me from London. I’m sorry you’ve seen this dick bring me to my limits, and I’m sorry you’ve even had to meet him, but this isn’t new for me. I’ll be fine.”
“You’ll be fine, and so will Addison when he’s out of your life. He’s a loose cannon. How can you trust her around that asshole?”
“Because I’ve dealt with this for three fucking years, Jim,” she said. “And, yes, I have Jake and Ash’s numbers. Ash invited me over this weekend.”
“That’ll be fun for you two,” I said, completely at a loss for words.
Did I need to shut up and find my place? Should I keep pressuring Avery, expecting a different result when she had so obviously made up her mind and didn’t want to hear my point of view? What the fuck was I supposed to do? I was trying to give her my best advice from the eyes of someone who wasn’t twisted up in this toxic situation, but she didn’t want to hear it.
“Hey, I’ve got to go. The plane is on the runway. I’ll try to call when we land.”
“Okay. Be safe. We both love you.”
Jesus, stab me in my fucking tortured heart.
“And you,” I managed, and after ending the call, I threw my cell against the leather sofa across from me like a pissed-off teenager.
“My God,” Alex said. “You’ve been in dick-mode all week, and now the cell phone is on the receiving end of your bullshit? What the hell is going on with you?”
“That piece of shit is out of jail, and Avery’s still going to take Addison to his parents’ place tonight.” I leaned back, the G-forces of the plane pinning me into my seat.
“Are you joking?” Alex said. “She needs to bury that little bastard with your lawyers. Do you think she might be bothered by you hiring the lawyers, not her?”
“No,” I shook my head and stared at him with an expression that probably looked as pathetic as I felt. “She’s fucking scared of him. That fucker has her right where he wants her, and she doesn’t see it.”
“Damn,” Alex said. “How is it that the addicts manage to take down everyone with them?”
“A question for the interventionist that I’m confident the family will never ask for. How can no one see that this fuck up is either going to end up dead or taking them all down with him?” I ticked each of my fingers against my thumb one-by-one, staring out the window at the clouds we were climbing into. “I don’t fucking know where my place is in all of this.”
“All you can do is support her. Hang in there, no matter how shitty it gets. She’ll eventually see it, but you have to let it play out. I know it’s hard, standing by while a child is involved, but you know how messy families can be. It’s never black and white.”
“I worry for that little girl more than I have a right to, I guess.”
“Avery’s a mom. They have better intuitions than guys.” He smiled. “She’s also tough as fucking nails. I fear for that dickhead if he fucks with that little girl and scares her again.”
“She is leaving it up to the three-year-old to decide whether or not she wants to be around her dad.”
“Avery isn’t stupid. I know you’re frustrated by her decision making, but it is indeed her decision to make. Children’s instincts are good too, you know? If Addy doesn’t want to see that fuck-head, then you have nothing to worry about.” He smiled and reclined in his chair, “Speaking of children’s instincts, my God, you’d think she was yours and Avery’s daughter, not the other dude’s.”
I stood while the plane started to level out. “I’m getting a bourbon before we open these computers. What are you having?”
“I’m determined to drink all of the special scotch Jakey-boy had stocked on the plane before he flies again.”
“That is a trip I do not wish to be a part of.” I laughed.
I knew I should stay in my lane and let Avery handle the Derek situation the best she knew how, but I had so many feelings about everything, and none of them were good. I could only hope I stayed busy enough in London not to drive myself crazy.
