“Take what lies within your grasp.” – Notes of X
X
Saturday, November 24th, 2007. 11:30 p.m.
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to stay away from her. Not because I don’t have the discipline, but because I keep being sent out to kill someone who’s related to her. For some reason she keeps attracting all kinds of bad attention. Heck, that could even include me. She keeps hanging with the wrong crowd, smoking pot and doing other drugs, getting into trouble with her supposed friends, doing fuck knows what with who knows where. She offers herself to every chump that wants to stick his cock into her pussy. Just the thought of it makes me so angry I could smash this glass I’m holding to bits.
I watch her dance with another guy on the dance floor. He’s short and covered in tattoos and piercings. The way he touches her makes me want to punch him in the throat. He’s got his hands all over her, and I don’t like it one bit.
See, it’s already too late for me. I haven’t stopped thinking about her, even though I promised myself I would. I haven’t stopped being around her, even though I told myself I could take other jobs and tell my family to go fuck themselves. Of course, they insisted and I prefer not getting a finger chopped off. When my family wants someone dead, it sure as hell will happen, whether I’m in or not. They won’t stop until they get their payment from their clients, which is all that matters to them. If I refuse, I’ll have to accept a fate worse than watching her get groped by some random dude.
Life’s such a fucking bitch sometimes.
Her eyes find me, and a hint of surprise flashes through them before the devious sex-vixen comes out to play again. She knows I’m watching and revels in it. Grabbing a tighter hold on her date, she leans her head on his shoulder while looking at me. Her eyes beg me to step in and take over. She’s such a fucking tease; always pushing everyone’s buttons. I know she has a rough time with her father always gone, always disappointed with what she does, which is all the more reason for her to continue what she’s doing. It’s a vicious cycle she can’t escape. She’s trying to pull me in too.
I’ve been around for months now, always killing the ones she messes up with. Either it’s her previous boyfriends talking shit about her and her father in the newspaper, or some drug lord claiming that she was a customer. Of course, it all happened. No doubt about it. I’m there when it happens all the time. Except, when you’re rich, you get to erase your history and past mistakes with the snap of a finger. Her father is just like that. He and all his political buddies care more about their reputations than the happiness of their family and kids. I know she takes this personally. He blames her for everything … even her mother.
And that’s why she keeps looking for a way to escape. Keeps ending up in someone’s arms that won’t protect her but hurt her instead. Solace can’t be found in the arms of a stranger. However, I won’t be able to offer it to her either. No matter how much she’d like me to. And she’s not the only one who’s been thinking about it.
I take a deep breath and blow it out while putting the glass on the bar behind me. Better put it away before I throw it at the guy’s head. Seriously, if he doesn’t keep his fucking hands off her ass I’m going to blow his brains out.
My parents enter the club and their eyes scan the room. When they find me, they nod. I cock my head swiftly, alerting them to her presence, and they take note. Communication during a hit job is usually done with our eyes, not our mouths.
They walk into the club and blend in with the crowd, making their way to the back. They’re going after the local drug dealer who sold a story to the newspaper. Of course it involves her. Now he has to die. No bad reputation for her father, ever.
I stay here to watch her and make sure nobody enters the room in the back. I watch them disappear through the door. I check my clock. Fifteen minutes is all they get or I’m going after them.
When I look up, she’s in front of my face. I’m taken aback for a moment, frowning, wanting to shout at her, but at the same time I have no fucking clue what to say to her. I know what she wants. It isn’t happening.
“No,” I say, loud and clear.
“Oh, c’mon. Don’t be such a party pooper. You don’t even know what I came to ask.”
“Oh, I know all right. Don’t you have a date or something?” I say, raising an eyebrow while looking at the guy in the middle of the dance floor who’s waiting impatiently for her.
“He’s such a bore. Can’t keep his mouth shut about tattoos and piercings, and he keeps wanting to show every one of them to me. I’ve already seen them twenty fucking times! I’m kind of done with him.” She puts her hand on her side and taps her foot. I look down at her with mild annoyance.
“So? Go on, find some other guy then,” I say.
She pouts. “I want to dance with you.”
She steps closer. I lean back.
“I’m on the job,” I growl.
“You’ve been doing nothing for the past ten minutes. I don’t think they’re going to filet you if you have fun for a little bit.”
She tries to grab my hand, but I snatch her wrist instead. I pull her closer so she’ll know I’m serious as I look down into her eyes. “Your father would fucking kill you if he knew you were even suggesting such a thing,” I growl. “You should not want to be hanging around with me.”
She jerks her hand loose. “I don’t give a crap about my father. He doesn’t care about me either, so I’m going to do what I want to do, which is dance with you. You and I both know you want to.”
“That doesn’t change anything.”
“Yes, it does. You can’t deny there’s something between us. You can’t keep your eyes off me.” She pushes her boobs up against me, making me flinch. I never flinch. For fuck’s sake, she’s really grown.
“Yeah, I’ve seen you watching me. And I like you too. So why not dance for a while?”
“You don’t like me. Stop this shit. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. I told you what we are. We kill for a living.”
She grabs my hand and places it on her waist. Her body is round and nicely shaped, and I can feel her thong through her tiny black dress. I’m much too aware of that fact.
“C’mon, I’m only asking you to dance with me. Nothing more. You’re not going to die.”
I snort. “I might. You’re giving me a heart attack every fucking time I see you.”
She squints. “You’re just jealous.”
“Jealous? You’re pulling crazy stunts and endangering your life, meaning we have more people to kill, and you think I’m jealous?”
“You are.” She winks, and then grabs my other hand, placing it on her other hipbone. “And I like it. I like it when I make you jealous.”
“Stop this.”
“It’s only a dance …” She leans in and wraps her hands around my neck, pulling me with her. “I only want one dance. That’s it. Then you can forget about me again.”
I roll my eyes and groan. “Oh, fuck me …”
Sinful desire is what persuades me. With her arms around my neck and her sweet, coy smile seducing me, I stop saying no. For once I give in to what we both want, but I promise myself the moment I step onto the dance floor that this is the only and final time I will ever touch her.
She pulls me into the middle of the crowd, far away from where I’m supposed to be, and starts swaying her hips. Her fingers play with my hair as she puts on her most sensual dance act right in my arms. My hands are warming up, the good kind of warming up, the kind where they’re craving to feel more skin. I get the urge to slip them down toward her ass. But my instincts tell me to keep my cool and focus on something else. I glance at the door to make sure my parents are still in there and that they aren’t watching us. Fuck knows what they’d do to me if they found out.
“I’m here,” she says, nudging my chin to make me look at her again. Then I notice the beauty in front of me. The pain, the hurt, the anger, the regret, the sorrow, the happiness, all wrapped into one divine package. At such a young age she’s already prone to the shadows, prone to a life of misery, and I don’t want to put her through that. For once in my life I actually feel the need to protect someone, to make her feel safe. A flame dances in her eyes, hypnotizing me. She’s like a candle, burning brightly in the darkness of the night, and I covet the light that guides me through. But I am the tsunami wrecking all in its path, extinguishing her flame.
“Do you see me?” she asks.
“I never stopped seeing you.”
Her fingers twirl the black hair falling down my forehead. The way she parts her lips makes me zoom in on them. A maddening hunger to taste her courses through my veins. I mustn’t.
“Do you remember that night on the roof?” she asks. “Where you stole the beer.”
I snort. “Yeah … a job.”
“I know that now. I was just wondering about …”
“About what?”
“Well, your eyes. They just struck me. It’s like I knew you all along.”
I smile. It still surprises me that she sometimes remembers bits and pieces. We were so young. I hardly even remember anything, except for that time with … her mother.
I swallow and clear my throat. “It’s such a long time ago.”
“Yeah, it is. But I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop having this feeling that you and I have danced like this before. That we were friends. That there was something … something about us.”
“Stop … please,” I say. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
Her eyebrows lower for a second in a flash of confusion. Then she leans in and watches me up close. Her lips part again, but she keeps looking at me, keeps asking for permission before she continues. I can already feel her breath on my skin. I can’t say no anymore.
When her mouth latches onto mine I’m done for. Her kiss is soft and subtle and everything I expected it to be. She tantalizes me, makes me think of taking her back to my apartment and screwing her on my bed. Her taste is unbelievable, so delicious, and her lips set me on fire. I can’t help wanting more, so I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer to me, pressing her against my chest.
But when I open my eyes in a rush of ecstasy I spot my parents leaving the room. Luckily, they didn’t spot me yet, or I’d be a dead man.
I pull my lips away, breathing heavily from her raging fire. The smile on her face tells me she thinks she won. Like a cunning artist she toys with my heart.
She’ll be my end. No doubt about it.
***
Tuesday, August 20th, 2013. 2:00 p.m.
She is not just my end. I have thrown myself into her abyss. I take sinful pleasure out of the fact that I have her chained up now. I made the choice and live with the consequences. She’ll be the death of me. But not before I fuck her senseless.
I know exactly what I’m going to do to change everything.
I will ruin the person who’s behind it all. Suffering. Regret. Pain. Shame. I’ll show no mercy. Once it’s over, I will be begged to spare lives, and I will grant them none.
I open a box that was under the bed and take out the camera that’s inside. I bought it a few days ago, and this is the first time Jay will see it. She doesn’t know what I’m planning to do, but from the look on her face I can tell she doesn’t like it. Good.
“What are you going to do with that?” she asks.
Ignoring her, I set up the tripod and perch the camera on top. Once I’m sure it’s focused on the bed and her, I turn it on.
“You’re filming me? Why?” she asks, her voice raspy from fear.
“After I’m done with you I’d like to be able to watch back and enjoy it again … and again … and again.” I smile when goose bumps appear on her skin. I don’t get why she’s so scared. After all, this is all too familiar to her.
From my suitcase I fish a bunch of ropes, and from the chair I grab my belt. Her big brown eyes are luring me in. I get on the bed, place the belt and rope beside me, and crawl on top of her. Her skin is moist from the shower, and when my hand dives between her legs, it’s even wetter. I grin as she struggles in the chains. “Stop fighting me, little bird. Obey and I might give you what you want.” My finger circles on top of her clit and then slides down to her pussy, spreading her slickness through her folds. “You want to come, but you’re not allowed until I say so, got it?”
She holds her breath as I dip a finger inside. Then I slap her inner thigh. Her squeal makes my cock bounce, eager to squirt its load on her velvety body. “Do not come. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl.” I take my finger out of her and she lets go of the breath she was holding. I move further up, planting my knees right beside her head. My cock is pointed right at her as I grab her face and perch her higher. “You will suck until I say you can stop.”
Pushing forward, I rub the tip against her lips. My pre-cum serves as a nice lubricant as she opens her mouth and lets me slide in. I go deep and make her gag on me, which makes me even harder. I plunge in and out of her mouth at a steady pace. She jerks the chains from the claim I lay on her mouth as I fuck it.
“Wrap your lips around my cock, little bird,” I command as I bury myself deep in her throat. In her eyes I see both fear and excitement, and it riles me up even more. Her mouth is at the base of my cock, her saliva richly flowing. I grab a fistful of her hair and pull her away, then force her mouth back over my cock. Her tongue swirls around my cock as I take it out and thrust back in again. She only gets a few seconds to breathe. I like seeing her panic, seeing her on the verge of choking. Not to the point of death, of course, but just enough to make her cower and beg.
She pants when I take my cock out of her mouth and move back on the bed again. Leaning down, I lick her neck and stick my tongue into her mouth. She’s still gasping for air when I take her mouth and kiss her hard. Her hands and feet still fight the chains as I grab her jaw and lick her tongue with mine. A loud squeal escapes her mouth when I bite down on her lip. A drop of blood seeps out and I lick it up, kissing her again.
“Why …” she mutters. Her voice is faint and it sounds like she’s pleading. She’s almost ready to give up.
“Bleed for me. Hurt for me. Beg for me,” I whisper against her skin, leaving rough pecks on her neck. “Your blood entices me, Jay.”
She muffles away a moan when I cover her nipple with my mouth and suck so hard it puckers up instantly. I jerk the other while going down even more. When I reach her pussy, I lick right above it. She moans against her will, and it makes me grin. I get up, leaving her deprived of pleasure. Her delicate flesh is raw and red, her nub swollen and probably pulsating too. She looks at me with half-mast eyes, hungry for more, but shamefully aware of it too.
“Do you want to come, little bird?” I ask.
Her lips quiver as she sucks in the air.
I narrow my eyes at her, which immediately prompts her to open her mouth. “Yes, sir.”
“And how badly do you want to come?”
“Badly, sir.”
“Bad enough to do anything for it?”
She swallows. “Yes, sir.”
A wicked smile curves my lips. “You will not move unless I make you, do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
One by one I take the cuffs off her ankles. Picking up the rope lying beside me, I grab her legs and push them up in a frog-like position. I tie the rope around her left upper and lower leg, and do the same to the right side with another rope. She struggles to stay upright in this most uncomfortable position. I lick my lips at the sight.
Her head turns to look at the camera and then back toward me. “I don’t like this, sir,” she mutters.
“I do,” I say, and then I drag my fingers through her folds. “And that’s all that matters. You know I am selfish.”
I grin when an expression of satisfaction crosses her face as I rub her shaved pussy. She’s wet and open for me, so I dip two fingers inside and press down on her nub with my thumb. She cries out in blissful agony as I swirl around inside and take them out again. “This pussy wants to be filled so badly … doesn’t it?”
“Yes, sir,” she moans while I flick her clit.
“What does this pussy of mine want most?”
“I want to come, sir.”
I stop and slap the top of her pussy with a flat hand. A nice, heavy scream escapes her mouth. Her legs falter, trying to close, but I nudge them open. “Did I tell you you could close your legs?”
“No, sir,” she whimpers.
“Try again. What does this pussy need?”
“Your cock, sir.” Her body shudders at the touch of my fingers. I splay them across her belly and move closer, perching myself right in front of her. The tip of my cock touches her entrance, her moistness making it bob up and down. Fuck, I can’t wait to be inside her.
“Please … I want your cock inside me,” she whisper-moans.
I smile. “Such a little slut. I guess I should be nice and give you what you crave so much.” I push inside her, slowly. Air escapes her mouth in the form of a deep moan, almost making me explode this instant. I keep it together and dive further in until her pussy is at my base. My cock pulsates against her flesh; feeling her warmth envelop me is making me crazy with lust. But I’m not content with my work yet. I want to hear her screams before I’m ready to permit her to come and take my load.
So I pick up the belt and fold it. Her eyes flicker open and widen at the sight and sound. She shakes her head, worry settling in her eyes.
“You will learn to love the pain,” I say. Then I strike her tit with the softer end. Her squeal is accompanied by a moan when I thrust in and out of her again. The belt leaves a nice red mark on her skin. I intend to make it last. I want her to look at herself and see who she belongs to. Who she’s always belonged to. Who she gave herself to the moment she decided to seduce me. My mistake was loving her. Her mistake was inviting me in. We both should have known better than to play with fire. And now the burning never stops.
I whip her again, leaving a hot, searing mark on her other nipple. Her screams fill the room as I lash out, pumping my cock inside her each time she yelps. I love the sound she makes, love how her muscles contract around my cock when she does.
“You should know I thoroughly enjoy pounding your filthy, wet pussy,” I growl.
I’m reaching the brink of ecstasy and I want to be able to enjoy it in full. So I throw the belt away and hold onto her legs while fucking her madly. Her body moves to the rhythm of my thrusts, her red and swollen tits bouncing up and down. Her face shows mingled gratification and unease, and it’s a beautiful disparity. I want to see more of it.
Placing one hand on the bed beside her head, I wrap the other around her throat. She coughs as I plunge into her. I lean down to kiss her and steal her breath away. I want her on the verge of coming to an orgasm before I release her. Pain and pleasure aren’t mutually exclusive; they’re intimately woven and, when released, cause powerful euphoria.
As I tighten my grip on her neck, I lean in and lick her lip. “Come for me, little slut.”
I fuck her hard and fast as she sputters out air. “Come,” I command. “Now.”
Her eyes strike me as they open wide. Her mouth opens in a perfect O, and her brows scrunch up. Air stops flowing through her, a silent moan on her lips. And then the convulsions begin.
Her body rocks against me, her pussy fluttering with desire. Her muscles clamp around my cock and pulsate. I can feel her coming with every pore in her body, see it in her beguiling eyes. “Yes, milk me,” I say as I pump inside her. The moan that escapes her mouth when I release her from my grasp sends me over the edge. Grabbing her legs, I arch my back and shoot my load into her. My cum fills her to the brim as I thrust twice more, letting go of the primal need that’s been haunting me for days on end.
Lying down on her, I pant like an animal who just finished off a kill. Her chest is warm and soft like a pillow. I could rest my head and fall asleep if it were safe. But I know we don’t have much time. We have to get away from here as soon as possible. They found us at the diner, so there’s no telling when they’ll find out about this place too. I won’t take the risk. One of the other hotels I go to will have to do. Besides, if I am to continue with my plan, I must get closer to his location. It’s a few states away. Might as well make the trip now instead of later.
I take the cuffs off her wrists and look at her. Her eyes glisten and their beauty draws me in. She is a goddess, and I’m the wretched being that takes everything from her. For a moment I wonder if she takes any pleasure in this at all. I don’t even know why I care, but I do. Maybe there is a hint of my soul left inside this tainted body.
Her hands lie splayed on the bed, unmoving, even though she is free. She could fight me. However, she doesn’t, which surprises me. I lean in and steal a kiss. My lips linger on hers. I can’t take them off. I’m addicted to her taste.
“Tell me …” I murmur, taking my lips off for a second. “Did you enjoy this?”
“Yes, sir,” she replies like a puppet well trained.
“No … do you really enjoy this?” I ask. “You must tell me the truth.”
Her lip quivers against mine as I let my lips reign free on hers again. I shower her in tiny pecks, nipping at her bottom lip, leaving suction marks on her skin. She shivers.
“Answer me,” I say, not demanding, but soft.
“Maybe.” Her answer comes out hesitantly.
“Why?”
She sighs. “This is … dark. Hard. Painful.” Her lips stop moving, but I can tell there’s more she wants to say.
“And?”
“Mind-blowing … relief.”
I smile. “So you do find release in this.”
She frowns and pulls her eyes away from mine.
“Admitting you want to be claimed is hard, but you did it before. You’ll do it again. This is who you are. A fighter who loves to be taken and made to submit.”
I press my lips on hers, seeking her attention with my eye. She looks at me and starts kissing me back. It’s the first time she allows herself to feel me. To really let my mouth conquer hers.
I devour her mouth, taking more and more. I can’t stop. My mind is consumed with lust, my lips craving more and more of her. But then her hands slowly slide up my spine, enveloping me in her warmth as she wraps her arms around me and kisses me back. She wants me as much as I want her. Her body acts on its own, demanding more of me as her fingers grasp my head. I feel her. Her naked skin against mine. Her fingers splayed on top of my skull, touching the scars on my head. Anger doesn’t rush through my veins. Instead, I feel empowered. Her embrace heals the scars left on my soul.
I realize now that she is not the only prisoner in this room. She has stolen what’s left of me.
I must not lose her. I will not accept it. After all these torturous years she’s finally mine for the taking, to keep, and I don’t ever intend on letting her go. Nobody but the person wanting her dead stands in my way. I will put an end to it all. I’ll destroy him if I must. Then she’ll be mine completely.
