T-MINUS 27 DAYS.
Ollie vB:
Is Zach alive?
Ollie vB:
Haven’t seen or heard from him in three days.
Romeo Costa:
Oliver… is that concern I detect in your otherwise completely corrupted soul?
Romeo Costa:
May I suggest checking your temperature?
Ollie vB:
Not concern for Zach, but for the future of this exclusive neighborhood.
Ollie vB:
Housing prices will tank if people discover it’s the site of a gory crime scene.
Ollie vB:
Should we check that he’s not rotting somewhere in his house with a blunt object smashed into his head?
Ollie vB:
Let’s admit it, nobody will be surprised if we find out that he finally pissed off someone to death.
Ollie vB:
The man’s idea of seduction is calling a woman an octopus.
Romeo Costa:
Zach is alive.
Romeo Costa:
In the technical sense of the word, at least.
Romeo Costa:
He’s just butthurt because Farrow moved in with me and Dallas and broke up with his ass.
Ollie vB:
Aw. Butt pain is no fun.
Ollie vB:
If only he’d only asked… I would’ve pointed him in the direction of great organic lube.
Romeo Costa:
You’re a fountain of knowledge, von Bismarck.
Romeo Costa:
A true renaissance man.
Ollie vB:
So, she finally moved out.
Ollie vB:
What happened? Did she find out he’s a psychopath?
Romeo Costa:
Nah, she was on board with that part.
Romeo Costa:
She refused to be the side piece.
Ollie vB:
Rookie mistake.
Ollie vB:
The side piece gets all the perks and none of the drama and familial obligations.
Romeo Costa:
Thank you for the moral clarity.
Romeo Costa:
Also, something about needing to discover herself.
Ollie vB:
Sigh. It’s always the 20- and 50-year-olds. Nothing in between.
Romeo Costa:
Constance is pressuring him and Eileen to choose a date.
Ollie vB:
Would have been nice if they went on one before getting engaged.
Romeo Costa:
You’re not wrong.
Romeo Costa:
Either way, Eileen is MIA.
Romeo Costa:
Probably gone missing to avoid the break up.
Ollie vB:
Should we check in on him?
Romeo Costa:
I think that’s what good friends do.
So… no?
Ollie vB:
Lmfao.
Ollie vB:
Zach, we’re on our way. Open up this time.
Zach Sun:
I’m busy.
Zach Sun:
Also, Farrow did not break up with me.
Romeo Costa:
Right. That would require having been together.
Zach Sun:
Fuck off, Costa.
Ollie vB:
What’s with the attitude?
Ollie vB:
Who shat down your chimney?
Zach Sun:
YOU did.
Zach Sun:
Almost broke your nose for it.
Ollie vB:
Okay, we were seventeen at the time, and that was a very sophisticated practical joke, mind you.
Zach Sun:
Do not come to my house.
Ollie vB:
We’ll break down the door.
Zach Sun:
You won’t get past security.
Romeo Costa:
I’ll set Farrow up with a date if you don’t open up.
Zach Sun:
The only thing that’ll be open, if you set her up with a date, is your body as I extract your internal organs with a chainsaw. One at a time.
Romeo Costa:
…
Zach Sun:
Fine. I’ll open up.
Ollie vB:
Such a good boy.
Zach Sun:
Shut up.
Ollie vB:
Only with a silicone ball gag, baby.
