I was scared of how fast things were moving. After all that had happened with Dan, falling in love again hadn’t entered into my plans. But there I was, wild about my stepbrother, the last guy I could ever have imagined having a relationship with. Maybe it would have been easier if I’d fallen in love with someone like Mario, but I knew that wouldn’t have worked. Ever since I’d told him we could just be friends, he’d completely ditched me. Obviously I wasn’t interesting enough for him. With Nick, everything was excitement. He made me feel happy; I had no complaints. It scared me how badly I wanted to be with him; even when we were just separated for a little bit, I suffered from his absence, which worried me. I couldn’t keep my legs from trembling when I saw him, let alone when he kissed me or we made love. I was on a cloud, and if it hadn’t been for the threatening letters, I would have been the happiest person on the globe.
I knew I couldn’t keep them a secret forever, but I didn’t want to mention my father’s name in front of my mother. She’d suffered from that man’s abuse as much as or more than I had, and now that she was happily married, I didn’t want to stir up those memories, but what else could I do? My father was in jail, for a long time, and it was practically impossible that he would do anything to me. That meant Ronnie had to be behind all this. He’d found out about my dark past somehow and had brought all this up to scare me and hit me where it hurt. And the only person capable of dealing with that situation was Nicholas.
That night, after a party we were going to as a couple—the first time we’d done so—I was going to tell him. He’d be climbing up the walls and would upbraid me for not telling him before, but I’d been scared of his reaction and scared of what that gangster Ronnie might do.
I tried to conceal my mood when we arrived at Nick’s fraternity party and smiled widely when he came around to open my door. Since our relationship had begun, he’d transformed: the Nicholas who’d used to say girls could open their own door had disappeared, and a true gentleman had taken his place. I didn’t need all those old-fashioned gestures, but I liked knowing I was the only person who received them.
“Have I told you how hard it’s going to be to keep my hands off you tonight?” he asked me, not letting me out for a moment. It was chilly out, and the tight black dress I was wearing hadn’t been the most practical choice.
I looked up at him, admiring those bright eyes and their long black lashes. I got lost in them and the warmth and desire they concealed. Nicholas Leister was the spitting image of a Calvin Klein model, and now he was all mine.
“Well, you’re going to have to,” I said, wrapping my hands around his neck and playing with his hair. It was hard to keep my hands off that splendid body, too. “You know everyone’s going to be staring at us, right?”
“Then they’ll know you’re mine,” he said, bending over and kissing me. Every time he did it, I lost the thread of my thoughts. Nicholas was the one who always took the initiative, and for me, nothing could be hotter. There in the darkness, just his fingers on my waist made everything inside me quake. Slowly, his tongue made its way through my lips, avid to caress mine with slow, sensual movements, nothing like the frantic way we’d been kissing lately. I felt like I was melting.
“Let’s go home,” he said, pulling away for a second. When I saw how bad he wanted me, any worries about the cold vanished. I smiled.
“Our parents are home,” I told him. We’d barely managed to be together that past week. My mother hadn’t left me in peace—she was constantly talking to me, trying to get me to hang out with her—and William had needed Nick to be at his office almost full-time. They seemed to be plotting to keep us apart.
Nick grunted, “I’m going to have to find a place of my own.” I froze.
What?
“I’ve been looking for a few weeks. Now that we’re together, I think it’s a good idea. I’m an adult, and my stipend at the firm is enough to pay for something decent. That way, we won’t have to worry about our parents.”
Theoretically, Nicholas moving would be for the best. Living with your boyfriend and your parents in the same house was weird, uncomfortable, but the mere thought of not having him there every morning, not seeing him before I went to bed, not knowing that he was at the other end of the hall, made me bitter and afraid. I felt safer knowing he was just a room away, especially after Ronnie had been threatening me…
“I don’t want you to go,” I said. I was being irrational but sincere.
“You want us to keep having to hide, not even able to touch each other?” he said, rubbing his hand in a circle on my back. “You know, my father knows about us. He won’t put up a fight about me going, and then we could have all the time we wanted together. We could stop the whole brother-sister act if we weren’t sleeping next door to each other. Your mother could even deal with it, I think, if she knew it wasn’t happening a few feet from her room.”
“I know,” I said, pulling him close, “but…don’t do it yet. I don’t want you to go.” I knew it sounded desperate, but I didn’t care.
Consternated, he asked, “What’s going on, Noah?” He seemed to know I was hiding something.
I shook my head and forced a smile.
“Nothing, nothing… I’m fine, I just like having you at home, that’s all.” Which was kind of true.
Kissing me on top of the head, he said, “Me, too. Don’t worry. We’ve got time to talk this over. We should go inside. You must be freezing.”
I nodded, and we walked inside. This party was packed, just like all the ones we’d been to. There were soft flickering lights and people dancing and drinking in the near-darkness. We soon found Jenna and Lion. Nick dragged me off to the kitchen, where it was a little calmer. Some guys were playing beer pong. Nick and Lion jumped in.
Jenna was happy to see us together, and for the first time in ages, I felt like a part of their scene. I knew almost everyone there, and even if some people were giving me dirty looks because of what had happened at the races, most of them seemed happy I was there.
We had a great night. I didn’t drink much. I was over that—I didn’t need to—with Nick, I felt calm and secure. Plus, I hadn’t received any letters for more than a week. But I got nervous when I went to check the time and realized I had no idea where my phone was.
Shit.
I looked through my bag and inspected the living room, where I’d spent most of the night. Jenna was in the bathroom; Nick was completely immersed in his game of beer pong.
Probably it had fallen out of my bag when I was getting out of the car. That was the last thing I needed—losing my phone and having to spend what little money I had on a new one.
I walked outside and turned the corner to where Nick’s car was parked. The music from the party died down as I continued down the street. It was freezing out, the sky was blanketed in clouds, and I realized I was probably going to see rain in Los Angeles for the first time. I missed that. I loved the sun, but I’d grown up in a place where rain and cold were the order of the day.
I looked around the grass next to the car but didn’t find anything. I was about to go back to the house and ask Nick for the keys so I could see if I’d dropped my phone inside the car, but I heard someone behind me.
Irrational fear overtook me. I had the sense I was being watched. I turned around but saw nothing other than the evening shadows. Heart pounding, breathing hard, I started to walk back, but then the person emerged from his hiding place. It was Ronnie.
“What’s the rush, bae?” he asked, a smile on his grotesque lips.
I stopped. I was ready to scream if I had to, or so I thought, but the fear that had overtaken me was so powerful that I wasn’t sure if any sound would come out if I tried.
“I don’t know what you want, Ronnie, but if you take one step toward me, I’ll start shrieking like a banshee,” I said, unable to conceal the panic behind my words.
“There’s someone who wants to see you, Noah. You’re not just going to leave him hanging, are you? You got his letters, right?”
I tried to turn around and felt hands grabbing me from behind, covering my lips before I could make a sound.
“If I were you, I’d try to behave,” Ronnie said, coming close as two men immobilized me. “Your papa’s waiting for you…and we both know he ain’t a patient man.” He gestured to the two men behind me.
They lifted me up while I thrashed around and tried uselessly to escape. They stuffed a damp, stinking rag in my mouth and covered it with duct tape. The last thing I remember seeing was the face of my father, the same man who’d almost killed me.
