I slinked into the house at nearly two in the morning.
Kai and I had had another enthusiastic round of sex that had ended with me begging him to let me come while he edged the fuck out of me. When we’d recovered, he’d given me some clothes to wear and had driven me to the library so I could get my car. When I’d figured out he was Wrong, I’d been so out of it that I’d left it in the lot, not trusting myself to drive.
The house was dark as I made my way to the second floor.
A big body appeared on the landing in front of me, and I nearly fell down the stairs.
“Shit!”
“Fuck!”
“Jax?” I gulped in a big breath, my hand over my pounding heart.
“Shit, sorry, Alex.” He shrugged on his jacket. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Yeah. Matt and I were studying, and we ended up falling asleep.”
I stepped aside so he could continue down the stairs.
“Have a good night. Even though it looks like it’s been pretty good already.”
I flushed hot as he brushed past me. “Night.” I hurried up to my room.
The sweats Kai had lent me were a bit big, and I’d had to roll them so they’d stay on my hips. The shirt and hoodie hung off me. I wasn’t skinny, but I wasn’t jacked like him, and being wrapped up in his clothes comforted me in a way I didn’t understand.
They smelled like him: earthy and dark with a hint of spice and an undertone of sweetness. Did he wear cologne? Or maybe aftershave? Whatever it was, the scent was perfect, and I reveled in the fact that my skin would smell like him in the morning.
Dropping my bag on the floor, I kicked off my shoes, then peeled off the hoodie and draped it over my desk chair.
I should shower. I’d come twice tonight, and Kai had come all over my back that second round.
Shuddering, I slid into bed and snuggled into my blankets. That first round he’d been a perfect mix of commanding and gentle, pushing me when I needed it and backing off when it was too much. That second time he hadn’t held back at all. We’d wrestled and grappled, rolling around on his bed, battling for dominance.
Kai was stronger than me, and his fighting skills were far better than mine. And that look that came over him when he got into it. The confidence radiating off him was almost as hot as his ridiculous body and model-perfect face.
He’d taken what he wanted. And he’d wanted me.
I pulled the blanket tighter around myself. As hot as the sex had been, and as perfect as Kai was, I still wasn’t sure what to do with all the feelings bouncing around inside me. I was mortified that he knew all that personal shit about me, but I loved how single-minded he’d been during sex. I’d been his entire focus, and having his attention, all of it, had been as exhilarating as it had been arousing.
The hate and the anger from that incident last year and even the party where he’d kissed Elissa were gone. I didn’t hate him, and in retrospect, I’d never hated him.
I’d been hurt and had shifted my anger onto him because it was easy. If it was his fault, then it wasn’t mine. But it wasn’t his fault. None of it. I’d hated him because I’d wanted him. And now that I’d had him, I didn’t want to let him go.
But how could I pretend like we hadn’t shared such deep parts of ourselves? How could I pretend he hadn’t taken me apart not only over the phone but also in person?
Sex had never been like that for me. My mind hadn’t wandered, and my concentration had never waned. I’d been fully present, and rather than being overstimulated while he’d edged me, it had soothed me.
Kai was in control. He made the decisions, and I could lie there and feel. It had been the most profound sexual experience of my life.
I liked Kai, but I was embarrassed by how I’d acted. It had turned him on. That much was obvious. He’d told me he liked it when his partners fought back or goaded him, but he had to be judging me, right?
I’d been a begging, writhing mess, acting like I’d die if he didn’t make me come. A total cockslut, delirious with pleasure and frustration as he’d edged the fuck out of me.
I shifted onto my back and winced. My ass stung a bit. He hadn’t fucked me that second time. He’d used my mouth, edging himself until he’d flipped me over and come all over my back.
Then he’d lain over my body and jerked me off as he whispered all sorts of filthy and possessive things in my ear. Bringing me close, then backing off as I begged and pleaded and tried to fight him.
When he’d finally let me, I’d come so hard I’d seen stars. That weird fog had taken me away again, and Kai had been there, holding me and guiding me back until my brain and body had come back online.
The sex might be amazing, but being vulnerable like that in front of him was fucking with my head. As much as I wanted to believe that Kai wouldn’t get sick of me, he would.
Maybe we’d fuck a few more times, and he’d realize I was too much work, that he could get it better from someone else who wasn’t so high maintenance. Or maybe he’d get tired of dealing with my moods and attitude.
Hell, he was probably sick of me already. He’d gotten my ass, and now it was time for him to move on to his next conquest.
Kai wasn’t looking for anything. He was into hooking up and having fun. I’d thought I was too, but after sharing what we had, that stupid, fanciful part of me that yearned for an actual connection wanted more.
I didn’t just want to be a guy he fucked. I wanted to mean more to him, but that was not only dumb but also a recipe for getting hurt. I needed to keep some distance between us. We had ten days until our presentation was due. When that happened, there’d be no reason for us to meet up or talk.
My chest clenched, and my stomach flipped. I was too attached to Kai. I needed to remember this was just a physical thing and we had an end date. The sooner I got that through my head, the less it would hurt when he got sick of me.
FunTimes: what club do you work at?
I grimaced as I read the message I’d sent that morning. Why the fuck couldn’t Kinksters have a remove option in their messages?
I closed out of the app, tucked my phone into my pocket, and stretched out on the couch.
It was Friday afternoon. Matt was out, Beck and Finn had gone to Seattle for the weekend to visit people, and Eli was curled up on the loveseat with a thick book. I could game or watch something, but I was comfortable and didn’t feel like paying attention to anything.
Zzzzz zzzz zzzzz.
Tapping down my excitement, I pulled out my phone. I had a message on Kinksters.
MrWrong: Crimson club
MrWrong: are you home?
FunTimes: yeah
MrWrong: what’s your address?
FunTimes: why?
The flutter of anticipation that shot through me mixed with a flare of arousal, and my dick went half-hard.
A picture loaded in the thread. He was in a car, and he’d taken it looking down, his shirt pulled up and his jeans undone. His hard dick peeked out of the top of a pair of black underwear.
My entire body clenched, and my mouth watered as I remembered how good he’d tasted, how much I’d loved feeling his cock stretching my lips and pressing down my throat.
MrWrong: what’s your address?
I typed it out and sent it before I could think twice.
MrWrong: be there in ten
When the screen went dark, I pocketed my phone.
The next ten minutes were a test of patience. I resisted the urge to pull my phone out to check the time, but I did keep looking at the door.
Finally, the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it.” Eli looked up from his book.
“I’ve got it.” I scrambled to my feet.
“I’m expecting a package.” He gave me a strange look. “But sure. Whatever.”
I hurried to the door and flung it open.
Kai stood on the stoop in a dark hoodie and a pair of tight jeans, a sultry smile on his lips.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” I moved back and let him in.
He stepped right into my space, his chest brushing mine, and closed the door behind him. “You look good enough to eat,” he murmured next to my ear. His hot breath tickled my skin.
I shivered. “Yeah?” I bit my lip, trying to stop my grin. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Where’s your room?” His look was dark and primal and set my nerves on fire.
“This way.”
As I turned to show him upstairs, he fell into step behind me.
“Kai?”
We both stopped dead in our tracks.
“Eli.” A warm grin slid over his face, replacing the sexy one he’d given me. “You live here?”
Eli jumped up, ran around the loveseat, and threw himself into Kai’s arms.
The flare of jealousy that hit nearly stole my breath.
“How have you been?” Kai asked, his voice warm and affectionate as he hugged Eli’s smaller frame against his.
They looked good together. Eli’s delicate, ethereal beauty was amplified by Kai’s stronger, rugged handsomeness. Had they fucked?
A pang of devastation hit as I pictured them together.
“Good.” Eli grinned up at him. “It’s been forever since I saw you.” He pouted prettily.
“I know.” Kai booped his nose.
Eli giggled, the sound somehow masculine and cute at the same time.
“But it’s not my fault you’re too busy for me now.”
Eli rolled his eyes and finally untangled himself from my man.
Wait, what? Damn it. I needed to stop that line of thinking now. Kai wasn’t mine. He could hug or fuck any guy he wanted. Even my roommate.
“Not too busy. You just forgot about me.” Eli grinned impishly. “What are you doing here?” He glanced at me. “You two know each other?”
“We’re doing a presentation together in one of our classes.”
My heart deflated.
A small part of me had hoped he might introduce me as a friend, but this solidified what I’d already thought. I was nothing more than a temporary plaything. Someone Kai could get his freak on with before he moved on to someone else. Like my beautiful, supersmart, and put-together roommate, who elicited the kind of smile from Kai I could only dream of getting.
“I’ll let you get to studying.” Eli gave me a sheepish look.
I smiled tightly at him.
“Say hi to Gray for me when you see him.” Eli turned his attention back to Kai.
Kai nodded and ruffled Eli’s hair playfully.
Eli yelped and darted away, a big smile still on his lips.
Kai winked, then turned back to me.
“This way,” I said woodenly, my body heavy and my stomach churning.
Kai followed me up the stairs and into my room.
I sat on the edge of my bed as he closed the door.
“You okay?” He leaned against the wall and studied me.
“Fine.” I looked away. “You can go down and hang out with Eli if you want. I have studying I need to do.”
Kai moved across the room, his long strides cutting the distance in three steps. He knelt in front of me, his eyes serious. “What do you think you saw?”
“You being reunited with one of your other fucktoys.” I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice, and a little flare of anger shot through me. What was it about Kai that lowered all my defenses?
Kai grimaced. “Ew.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve known Eli since he was in diapers. I work with his brother. Trust me when I say I’ve never thought about him like that.”
“But he’s your type,” I whispered, the hurt from watching their exchange lingering. “Prettier than me, and I’m sure you could corrupt him.”
He tipped my chin until our gazes met. “I’m not interested in him that way. Eli’s grown into an incredibly handsome man, but he’ll always be a little kid to me. And his brother would rip my nuts off and hang them from his front door if I ever touched him.”
I snorted at the visual. “His brother’s a big guy?”
“As big as me.” His eyes were bright with silent laughter. “You were jealous.”
“Was not.”
He held my face still, and a cocky grin slid over his lips. “You were.”
“So?” I tried for defiant, but it came out breathy and eager.
“So it’s kinda hot.” He licked his lips and dropped his gaze to my mouth. “Why did you want to know where I work?” He let go of my chin.
“Huh?” I blinked, trying to keep up with the shift in conversation.
“Why did you want to know where I work?”
“Curious?”
“You want to watch me dance?”
“Maybe.”
“I’ve never danced with someone I know in the crowd.”
“I’ve never watched someone I’ve fucked strip. Looks like we’re even.”
He laughed and sat back on his heels. “And what would you do if you watched me dance?” His voice was a seductive purr. “Would you picture me dancing for you?”
“Maybe,” I croaked.
“Would you wish you were under me while I danced?”
“Probably.”
He grinned that cocky smile I loved. “Would you get jealous when the ladies touched me?”
“You said no touching.”
“No sexual touching. But we do get touched. It’s part of the job.”
I pursed my lips. “No. I wouldn’t get jealous.”
“No? It looked like you were about to punch Eli in the face downstairs.”
“I wouldn’t get jealous because they only get to touch.”
His grin widened. “That’s true. They only get to touch.”
“And I wouldn’t have punched Eli.”
“No?” He quirked his eyebrow.
“No. I hated thinking you and him had been together, but I like him. He’s a sort of friend, and I don’t have a lot of those.”
“He’s a good kid. Hasn’t had it easy, but he’s good people.”
“Way to make me feel like even more of an ass.”
Kai chuckled. “Are you going to come watch me dance tonight?”
“Can I?” I’d thought he’d tell me no and bar me from the club.
“If you want.” He sat on the bed next to me. “It could be fun performing for you. Dancing for you in a crowd of people.”
I swallowed hard. That sounded pretty fucking awesome to me.
“The only thing you should know is that Crimson caters to women. Our audience is almost exclusively female. You’ll stand out if you show up.”
“So? It’s not like I care what a bunch of random women think of me.”
He shifted and put one arm behind me, leaning close as he whispered in my ear. “If you show up, and if you’re a good boy, you’ll get a reward.”
I shivered at both his words and his tone. What was it about his growly voice that could turn my insides into mush? “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He dragged the tip of his nose over my jawline, then abruptly stood.
“What?” I blinked at him, my dick so hard it ached.
“Gotta go to work.” He winked.
“Really? You’re going to get me all worked up and bail?”
“Yup.” He leaned down, that cocky, confident smile on his lips. “And now I’ll feel better going to work, knowing that you’re thinking about me.”
I wanted to tell him I wouldn’t be, but we both knew that would be a lie.
He pressed a quick kiss against my lips, then swept out of my room before I could say a word. His heavy footfalls stomped down the stairs.
My head spun. What time did the club open? I grabbed my phone to do some googling. I wanted that reward almost as much as I wanted to see him dance.
