My heart skips a beat at the sight of Saint stepping out of his Maserati as I pull into the driveway of my house. From the passenger seat, my father glances over at Saint and waves. I don’t miss the way those beautiful blue eyes flicker to mine a second after waving back. My father and I just got back from a nice dinner in urban Midtown Sacramento.
My father invited Saint and Nico along, but they declined as they were working late. I thought tonight would be smooth sailing as I didn’t have to pretend I didn’t have any feelings for Saint across the table when I did, but right now as my father and I step out of the Jeep, I almost lose my breath when I take a glance at the man I’m so in love with. We’ve been texting and calling ever since we returned from Stinson Beach, but nothing beats seeing this beautiful man face to face, especially considering our date night is Thursday night.
“Hey, man.” My father grins, pulling Saint into a side hug. “Shit, I haven’t seen you since you came back from Santa Rosa! How was it? Did you end up meeting up with your family?”
Santa Rosa?
And then I put two and two together. Saint told my father he was in Santa Rosa this past weekend with his family, when instead he was with me in Stinson Beach.
I smirk to myself. Smart.
“Yeah, so nice to see my mom and Nonna again.” Saint smiles, raking a hand through his dark hair, his eyes flickering between my father and me. “It always feels like home when I’m there. My favorite place with my favorite people.”
I muse my inner-actress and knit my brows. “Wait, what? You were in Santa Rosa?”
“Yeah, just for a short time. Most of Saturday, came back Sunday because of work,” Saint chuckles warmly as he crosses his arms over his chest, his muscles unintentionally tensing in his perfectly fitted white T-shirt. “Don’t tell me you didn’t even notice I was gone, Paisley?”
“I literally didn’t even realize! I guess I’ve been so busy with work…”
“You mean celebrating.” My father laughs, gesturing to me as he turns to his close friend. “This one goes downtown with her boss friend and then literally disappears off the face of the earth when I try to call her.”
“I was sleeping!”
“Yeah, now I know, but I didn’t know that when you didn’t answer all three calls!”
“I was catching up on some beauty sleep.” I grin, circling a hand around my face. “See?”
Saint throws his head back in laughter, all while my dad playfully rolls his eyes. “Dear God, help me.”
“You’re going to miss me when I’m in Seattle!”
My father nods and pulls me into a side hug. “I’m kidding. I know I am. I’m just protective of you, that’s all. You’re all I have, Paisley.”
I swallow thickly. “I know.”
I catch Saint’s gaze and I can’t help but notice the slight gloom in his piercing blue eyes as he watches us.
Seattle.
We haven’t spoken about what’s going to happen at the end of summer, only that we don’t want this to end anytime soon. I’m so in love with him and I can only imagine how difficult long-distance must be, but when it comes to him… I’m willing to try anything.
Saint slips on his aviator sunglasses, despite it being just after 9:00 p.m., and it prevents me from seeing his eyes and I know it’s because he doesn’t want my father to see the emotion that was clouding them seconds ago.
“Anyway, did you two have a good time midtown?”
All while my father responds to Saint’s question, I can’t stop looking at Saint. The smile falls from my lips, and it feels as though I’m fizzling out at the seams because I hate playing this game of pretend with him now that my father’s here. Saint and I need to talk about Seattle because I know me going off to college will change a few things. Distance creates distances, and I don’t want that to happen to us.
I zone back in at my father’s next words. “Want to come over for a drink, man?”
“Don’t you have work?” Saint asks.
“Not until Thursday night… four p.m. for a twelve-hour shift, so I’ve got time now.”
Four p.m. Thursday. Date night…
Saint looks everywhere but at me as he shakes his head and slips his hands into his black workout shorts. “Thanks for the offer, but work’s been crazy, and I literally am going to go out like a light the second I step inside my house. So let’s raincheck that drink, man, yeah?”
“Yeah, that works with me. All right, rest up easy and don’t do any shit I wouldn’t.”
That makes Saint chuckle. “Literally am going to take a shower and fall into my bed.”
Now that’s a visual I’d love to join.
“All right, well, have a good one, man. Good night!”
“Night, Alaric.” Saint nods before his head turns to me, and he slips off his Aviators. My father already begins walking back toward my house, the rattling of keys telling me he’s about to open the front door any second now.
I turn back to Saint, smiling when I see that usual warmth in his eyes has returned. His gaze glances beyond me toward my father, then returns to me and winks when the coast is clear.
“Can I call you later?” he mouths.
I nod and mouth back, “I’ll tell you when.”
Saint smirks, those beautiful dimples deepening as he whispers, “You look beautiful, wildflower.”
I feel a blush rise on my cheeks as I glance down at my simple black cropped tank top and light denim frayed jeans and loafers. “It’s the basics,” I murmur back, “Nothing special.”
“You still look beautiful to me.”
My heart melts.
“Hey, mother’s group over there! What are you two talking about?” my dad calls out from the porch and my entire body tenses up.
Oh shit.
Luckily, Saint is much more equipped than I am and replies within the same breath without even blinking. “Paisley wants to sign up for some boxing at the fitness studio. Was just telling her the different types of classes we have and availability.”
I wait one second… two seconds… three seconds, and then I turn to my dad.
“Boxing?” he says, just as he opens the front door with a smile. “That’s such a good idea, Paisley! That way you can punch any guy in the face that gets too close in college.”
I breathe a little easier. Oh, thank God he’s buying the story.
“Dad!” I laugh and turn to Saint with a warm smile. “We can talk more about it another time. Thanks for explaining all that to me, so useful. Good night!”
“Anytime at all,” Saint says, his voice so gravelly and hot. “Good night, Paisley.”
Once I’m inside my house, my father turns to me and claps his hands together with a grin. “Boxing lessons from a former professional boxer before you travel 761 miles away? YES! This is the greatest idea ever. I swear to God you’re a genius, Paisley Reign. I mean, you kind of have to be one anyway. You are my daughter after all!”
I join in the laughter with him, but inside it’s a whole other story. Did Saint seriously just buy us more time to spend together without my father speculating a single thing?
I grin to myself, mind blown.
Oh yes, he certainly did.
“Can you believe we actually pulled that off?” Saint chuckles through the phone as I slip into bed later on that night. “I literally had to pull that shit about the boxing out of nowhere.”
“Well, you’re officially my hero.” I giggle softly, aware that my father is asleep across the hall, but still want to be quiet, even though he’s softly snoring. “I just froze there and then there was you with a cover story in two-point-five seconds.”
“Well, what can I say? I perform well under pressure.”
“Mmhmmm.”
“God, I miss you.” A sharp sigh escapes Saint. “All I have been thinking about these past couple days is our time in Stinson Beach. How I wish we never left there. I liked when it was just us, when we didn’t have to pretend that we don’t feel what we do.”
“I miss you so much too,” I breathe through the phone. “And I couldn’t agree more. I hate that we have to hide it from my father. It’s almost as if we’re lying to ourselves, you know?”
“I feel that, yeah. It’s hard because we can’t be our true selves around Alaric. He’s super protective, and I completely understand, but I wanted nothing other than to kiss you when I saw you tonight. Wanted to whisk you away with me and have you lying right beside me in bed right now. I’ve been sleeping like shit without you here with me these past few nights. It may have been only one night sleeping next to you, but my body’s grown accustomed to being with yours.”
Aww.
“Stop being such a sweetheart.” I smile, turning against my silk pillowcase.
Saint chuckles. “Why?”
“Because I’ll have no control and tell you to sneak into my bedroom right now.”
“Dio mio,” he growls. “Don’t give me any ideas because you know I’ll do it, babydoll.”
Laughing softly, I feel my nipples harden through the thin emerald satin fabric of my camisole nightdress at the tone of his voice and what he said.
“What if I really wanted you to, though?” I purr through the phone. Temptation washes over me and I squeeze my heavy, ample breasts, rubbing my palm over my erect nipples through the fabric with a soft hum. “What would you say, Santo?”
“Fuck,” he sexily groans. “I wouldn’t say anything. I’d just be there with you in two seconds. Dio. You say my name like it was made for you because I’m certain it was. Wanna hear you say it forever now, wildflower.”
“In a heartbeat I would.” I grin up at the ceiling and slip my hand through my wavy long hair over the pillow, scrunching up the ends. “Thank you for everything that came out in Stinson Beach. It means a lot to me that you trust me with so much, especially with your name, which I know is something big for you.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. “You know I trust you with my life.”
“Ditto,” I say, just as something crosses my mind. “Earlier tonight when we were outside with my dad, I noticed something in your eyes changed when I mentioned Seattle. What were you thinking?”
I love how promptly Saint answers, with no hesitation. Love how open and honest he is.
“Part of me was wondering if we should tell Alaric about us before you leave for college. The other part craved running away with you to Seattle when the time comes, so we can play house.”
My heart warms and the air crackles between the phone line.
Playing house. I want that too.
“You mean us moving in together if you came to Seattle with me is an option?”
“Hell yeah. I mean, if you want that too… because you know that’s what I want. Being neighbors, we practically already live together. Besides, I have connections to Giulio Giannotti at Notti Designs. Pretty sure he knows some good realtors for a property to suit our needs.”
“As much as I love that idea, I literally only have just over ten grand to my name, Saint. I’ll have more working until the end of July, but I’ve seen the properties Notti Designs makes and they’re gorgeous, but far too expensive for my florist gig. I wouldn’t be able to pay you back for at least the end of college, and everything I do make until then will go to my student loan. My dad offered, and I told him I wanted to do the apartment part on my own, and I will, but he’s going to help with some college finances, so I don’t want to be owing you too.”
“Why would you expect that I’d want you to pay me back?”
“Because it’s the courteous thing to do.”
“Fuck courteous. I don’t want anything out of you.”
“Saint, I—”
“I mean it, Paisley,” he cuts me off and there’s some rustling on his end. “I’m with you because I want to be with you. That means taking care of you, not because I don’t think you’re capable of doing it on your own, but because whatever money you make, you should spend it on things you like. Leave everything else to me, and I mean it.”
I shake my head, even though he can’t see me. I don’t want any advantages in this world. I want to know I earned something with my blood, sweat, and tears… so Saint buying me an apartment or property in Seattle… it just seems like too much too fast.
“I’m not letting you buy me an apartment, Saint.”
“Then I’ll move to Washington State with you, and it’ll technically be our apartment. A shoebox studio apartment with popcorn ceiling and the only view is the parking lot? I don’t want that for you. You’re a poet at heart, you need stimulation, an apartment that inspires you. Come on, Pais, I literally have connections to an architect—Giulio. I’ll call my cousin Enrico and try to set something up with Giulio. He’ll know a good listing in Seattle and will take care of us. Unless… unless this isn’t about the apartment and more about you not wanting us to move in together?”
“No, it’s not that. Of course I want to move in with you… being with you is all I want.”
“Then what is it, wildflower?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “I just… Do you think we’re moving too fast in terms of you coming to Seattle with me? I mean, an apartment is a huge step, no?” I shut my eyes and let the soft California breeze rush across my skin. There’s still a warm tingle in the air. “I thought everything was perfect in Stinson Beach, but now being back home… reality is hitting me hard. The reality of the complexities of our relationship and how there are so many battles to come. And that even though I know our relationship is strong, sometimes it’s scary to think of the outside noise… like my father… like what he’s going to do when he finds out. Getting an apartment too on top of that is so exciting and beautiful, but it’s also… look, I’m going to be honest, right now it’s also a little daunting for me. I don’t mean to place this hiccup between us, Saint, but I feel this needs to be addressed…”
Saint’s silence taunts me for a few moments, and I let out a soft sigh.
Great, I unloaded too much.
And then just like that the weight lifts off me the second Saint murmurs through the phone, “I’m at your balcony. Is it okay if you open up?”
“My balcony?” My jaw drops as I open my eyes and slip out of the bed. “What? You’re here? I didn’t even hear anything!”
“It’s called not wanting your father to hear me either.”
“Mission accomplished then. Did you seriously just jump the fence?”
“Mmhmm.” I can hear the smirk in his voice. “Something like that…”
I end the call and walk up to my balcony doors in shock. I can’t believe Saint’s here. My heart is pumping so hard as I pull the sheer drapes to the side and smile softly at Saint, who absolutely takes my breath away. He’s standing on the opposite side of the sliding doors, phone in hand, smile on his soft lips, and only a pair of black boxers on.
Silvery moonlight shines through my bedroom as I unlock the door and slide it open, allowing Saint to step inside. The first thing he does is crash his lips on mine and it instantly soothes me, making me feel better about the deep conversation we were having over the phone seconds ago. The kiss is so addictive and intense, so thrilling like a passionate bliss to numb the nerves in my stomach.
I smile through it as his hands snake around my waist, settling by my satin-covered ass and pushing me closer to him. My hands can’t stop roaming his smooth chest and neck, wanting to trace over every single inch of his warm Italian skin. Every inch of him.
Saint’s the one to pull away and take my hand, warmth in his piercing gaze as he wordlessly leads me to my bed. We leave our phones on my nightstand. Saint and I slip inside the bedsheets, and I instantly cuddle up to his side, just like the other night, the only difference being my father is across the hall tonight. But the latter doesn’t seem to bother either of us right now, no matter how risky it truly is having my father’s hot best friend in my bed.
Shutting my eyes, I inhale a deep breath, taking in Saint’s musky sandalwood scent, and focus on how much it calms me. I think I’ve just been a little stressed tonight, so this right here, finding solace in his strong arms with his fingers caressing my skin, is exactly what I need.
“That’s better.” Saint kisses my cheek and I flutter my eyes open, loving the sweet blue of his as he glances down at me. He leans against one of my pillows with his left triceps, his head resting on his hand. His smile is so soft, so tender and real as he holds me tight and murmurs, “Talk to me, baby. Tell me exactly what’s on your mind.”
A breath escapes me because I’m opening my heart to him so much and appreciate the full extent to which he wants to explore every avenue with me, both so honest and open.
“Saint, I’m so in love with you,” I start. “And now that I know you feel the same too… I just don’t want to ruin things by moving too fast. I want everything to fall in place smoothly, naturally. I don’t want either of us to regret anything, or our relationship to be the reason my dad doesn’t speak to any of us. There’s so much to juggle and… I know you can’t have your cake and eat it too, so I’m not feeling overwhelmed, just a little nervous.”
“Nervous?”
“Yes. As you know, I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I’m giving so much of myself, and I don’t want to ruin it with major steps that may crumble us. Am I wrong to think that?”
“Not at all. I think that’s fair that you’re feeling this way. It’s only normal to feel all these feelings, especially being nervous as these are all firsts for you. I hear what you’re saying and agree. I’m sorry if I got a little too excited earlier and it put too much pressure on you. Paisley, you know I would never ever want to make you feel that kind of way. I want everything to fall into place naturally too. I don’t want to rush a single thing and feel as though if we navigate a slower path to the other side of this, those nerves will start to flutter away.”
All the built-up stress that has been rumbling inside me slowly fades at his words.
“That’s exactly what I needed to hear.” I smile, tracing a finger down his defined jaw. “You always know what to say to make me feel better. I’m just glad I let it all out now.”
“So am I, wildflower. Thank you for being so honest and brave for me. I know it isn’t easy, so I’m glad you allow yourself to be vulnerable and raw with me. Never be afraid of voicing your opinion to me, Pais. Even if you think it’s something that’ll piss me off, say it. As you know, I’m a direct kind of guy, so tell me whatever, whenever. I promise I won’t crumble ’cause of it. Do you think living with you twenty-four seven is going to scare me away?”
I gulp down. “Maybe, yes.”
“That doesn’t scare me.” Saint smiles brightly, his hand around my waist flushing me closer to his bare chest as he glances between my eyes in pure adoration. “I’m gonna need far more than that to run away, Pais. If you’re worried that we’re taking things too fast with the moving in together and apartment, then we’ll slow it down. I just want you to know that I’m willing to move my life to Seattle for you. That’s all I’m trying to say. We can do the distance thing with daily calls and seeing you summers and weekends. We can tell Alaric and move around more freely, no matter the consequence. We can play this out however you like, as long as it’s what makes you the happiest and I still see you regularly. Whatever you’re good with, I’m good with too. I have all my cards open on the table, and they all point to you.”
Aww.
I can’t stop smiling because his words touch my heart. Relief consumes my entire body, and I’m just so grateful for Saint because he always makes me feel heard.
“Thank you for that, truly,” I say. “I always feel so comfortable around you. You let me be me and that means a lot. You’re honestly so respectful. Many other men would have pushed me away for admitting that about the apartment.”
“I’d never push you away, Paisley. Ever. Just want you to know there are options, that’s all, whether you take them or not.”
“That’s what I love about you most. You respect my opinion, always.”
“Of course I do. Mostly because it’s logical.” Saint grins before his eyes darken. “And mostly because I love when you tell me what you want.”
“Well, I appreciate it. I just feel bad because I don’t want to hinder your dreams because of mine, that’s all.”
“There’s no need to feel bad. My career as a professional boxer ended three years ago, Paisley. That was my true calling and I’ll never have it again, but it’s okay because I’ve lived my dream. I lived it for ten good long years. Yes, I love co-owning a fitness studio now and bettering people’s lives, but that job is adaptable and the rush I got every time I stepped in a ring, that was something else. There’s nothing else I’ve wanted since, so let me help you with your dream now. Let me help you, Paisley, just like you always help me.”
Saint smiles as a calmness settles between us and he cups my jaw and whispers, “I’m a jealous man, Paisley. So fucking jealous. Perhaps the world made me that way, but all I know is that I will protect you and keep you safe until my dying breath. Even if we don’t turn out, I’m always going to take care of you. Those guys at college, your future work colleagues, everybody in Seattle… they see a beautiful girl like you, and I want to destroy them for thinking they’re worthy of you.”
“I’d never choose them. Besides, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend will knock them out cold in a second, so…”
“Damn right he will,” Saint murmurs against my lips. “No Seattle, no moving in together, no apartment hunting, I get that now. I’m sorry, I just want to give you options.”
“No need to apologize, baby. It’s me who should have been clearer in the first place.”
“It’s clear now. That’s all that matters.”
I grin against his lips. “You’re amazing. You know that, right?”
“It must be the Italian in me.”
I scrunch my nose up in laughter before slapping a hand over my mouth with wide eyes. “Oh, crap, I forgot my dad is just across the hall.”
Saint grins back, yet in my head the devil on my shoulder taunts me.
If Saint and I had our own place, we wouldn’t have to worry about that…
“Okay, answer me this…” Maralyn says in her thick Brooklyn accent, crossing her arms over her chest behind the cashier counter of the florist. “It’s my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary today and you wanna know what my thoughtful husband gave me this morning?”
Biting my lip to hide my grin, I glance away from the lilies I’m wrapping and turn to my boss, Maralyn. “I have no idea, but from that tone I can imagine it… wasn’t what you expected?”
“Understatement,” she huffs, chewing on her gum loudly. “He gave me this week’s trash to put out on the street ahead of today’s collection. But that’s not all… he told me—get this—don’t buy a cheesecake this morning, you don’t need it on the waistline.”
My jaw drops. “Oh my… Do you think he just said that to throw you off but is actually planning a surprise?”
“A surprise?” Maralyn practically screeches. “That man forgot the words surprise, anniversary, Saint Valentine’s, and birthday the second I said ‘I do’ twenty-five years ago.” She shakes her head, raising a finger for each word she listed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but this morning I couldn’t stand what he did. So, I showed him what I’m made of.”
I grin, absolutely loving this story. Anytime Maralyn recounts something, it’s bound to be good. Besides, anything else but talking about my apparent mystery man after the other day is great.
Saint… Gosh, I can’t wait for our date night tomorrow night.
It’s only after the customer pays for the lilies and I put through another two people that I turn back to Maralyn, who’s rearranging the rose-gold-colored love-heart balloons we sell as add-ons. “So, what did you do?”
“Did what any other rational woman would have done, of course. Got that trash bag and slammed it on the side of his head. That sure knocked some brain cells as he looked at me all funny looking with a banana peel at the side of his head. I didn’t care. I was more riled up about the comment than the fact he forgot it’s the second national day of l-o-v-e. So, I forgot about him, got in my car, stepped on the gas, and treated myself to a blueberry cheesecake across the street and ordered fifty to be delivered to his office at lunch. Don’t feel bad about a damn thing. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to show a man what he’s dealing with.”
I can’t help but laugh as I look at her all wide-eyed. “You actually did that?”
Maralyn simply grins. “Sure did. I just lost it.”
“I don’t blame you. I can’t believe he said that and never apologized!”
“Oh, he did.” Maralyn taps the oak countertop with her pointer finger. “He called the second I opened the store this morning. Told me he was sorry and didn’t mean to say what he did. I forgave him. Still didn’t tell him about the cheesecakes, though. I’m sure he’ll love me after that.”
Smiling, I shake my head to myself. “I aspire to be more like you. I mean, the other day you gave a customer a manicure, last week you managed to make the parking inspector pay you, and the week before that, you were an extra in that new Brad Pitt blockbuster.”
Maralyn blows out a huge bubble with her purple gum and lets it pop loudly. “It’s called not giving a fuck, something a certain Paisley Reign needs to do more of, huh?”
“I’m getting there.”
“Oh yeah?” She smirks, crossing her hands over her chest. “Okay. Tell me the boldest thing you’ve done in this past month, aside from your little getaway last week with Mr. Mystery Man…”
“This month?” Laughing, my mind circles as I try to not pick a memory that includes Saint, no matter how much I want to mention him because I’ve been so bold with him. “Well, I graduated college and have just been busy working, studying, and starting to think about an apartment in Seattle when I move there for college in a couple mont—”
“Excuses, Excuses. Boldest thing. Go.”
Think. Think. Think.
“Okay.” I swallow down, running a hand through my loose waves. “Umm, I had my first tequila a few days ago when I’m not even legal yet. That counts, right?”
Maralyn shoots me a blank expression. “Jesus, Paisley, that can’t be the boldest thing you’ve done this month. I’ve been drinking Cosmopolitans since the day I exited the womb all those yea—”
“Hey, Oprah and Drew Barrymore!” a man hisses nearby, having us avert our vision to a short man directly behind the counter. He snaps his fingers at us with an impatient scoff, a bouquet of roses in hand. “Should I just walk out without paying or are you both done with your ‘boldness therapy’ chitchat?”
“Are you done with your attitude?” Maralyn grits while I slap a hand over my mouth, eyes wide and internally screaming at myself.
Oh my God! The line!
The line behind the man consists of another three men. All corporate with sleek suits. The man behind Mr. Smartass is on the phone, whisper-shouting to some man called ‘Matteo’ about dinner reservations. Behind him, a Ricky Martin doppelgänger is constantly glancing between a pink bouquet and a red bouquet of poinsettias he’s holding with a clenched jaw as if it’s a tennis match. The last man in line is indecisively glancing down at his gold watch.
Maralyn glances over at me with a warm smile. “I’ll take over the register, babe. Work on the floor, but don’t you worry. This conversation isn’t over…”
I quickly apologize to the men before practically running to the first flower section I see—geraniums—and straighten up the area. I take in the sweet idyllic smell of the geraniums, a smile forming on my lips as a memory of Saint crosses my mind. The comment from a couple of years ago when he joked about these flowers being a pain in the ass still has me laughing.
Saint.
Saint’s been so patient with me, respecting the fact that I want to take things one step at a time… but could I be wrong in thinking him moving to Seattle isn’t the best move? Of course I’m scared of ruining everything by going too fast, but I don’t know if I have it in me to be just under two hours away from Saint by plane. What if I don’t ruin things?
Saint wants to be with me. He’s willing to sacrifice moving to a whole other state because of me. Am I seeing it all wrong?
While my first encounter when Saint slaughtered my blue tiger lilies was one for the books, the years following have been the best ones of my life. To me, there isn’t a life before Saint. My entire life up until this point… it’s just been Saint. And I know, it’s crazy how one person can only be in your life for three years and take up all the space in your heart, trust me I know, but when I’m with Saint, everything seems to fade away and it becomes us.
Us unraveling the world together.
Us so passionately in love.
Simply us.
