Never in a million years did I expect the greatest day of my life to turn into the worst day like this. The deafening car horn. Her petrified scream before impact. The darkness. Everything felt as though it happened in slow motion. Every single little thing. It was as if the bow around my life was tightening, closing up as my entire life and everybody in it flashed before me.
Paisley’s terrified gaze was all I saw before blacking out.
Fear.
Fear.
Fear.
“PAISLEY!” I scream out, intaking a huge gulp of air as my eyes snap open, instantly narrowing in confusion at the bright halogen lit room. God, I feel like shit. My head is throbbing and my entire body aches as I frantically sit up in the… bed. I’m on a bed. A hospital bed.
Paisley.
Where’s Paisley?
Is she okay?
Groggily glancing around the hospital room, my eyes land on an older woman with rich dark curls. Smiling softly, she quickly walks over to the bed with a clipboard in hand. “Santo, dear, I’m Samantha, your nurse. You were in a high-speed car accident a couple of hours ago and—”
“Paisley,” I choke out, gripping my neck at how ridiculously dry my throat is. “Where is…”
“Now, now, Santo, let’s take it easy. One step at a time.” The nurse takes a hold of the white plastic cup of water on the little table beside the bed and offers it to me. “Slow sips, okay? This will help you out.”
My right hand is trembling as my fingers wrap around the freezing cold plastic cup.
High-speed crash. You were in a high-speed crash.
The cup jitters in my grip, becoming worse when I lift it to my lips and barely get a single drop of water in my mouth. Instead, the cold water brings chills to my chest, seeping right through my hospital gown.
“Fuck.” I sigh under my breath, glancing down at the mess I’ve made with a frown. It’s then I also see the IV drip I have and the couple of cuts and slight bruises on my arms, and a part of me breaks away. It’s nothing I can’t take as it brings me back to my boxing days, but the fact that I was in a serious crash… It concerns me so much. Especially since I know nothing about what exactly happened and if Paisley is… If she’s okay.
“It’s perfectly okay, Santo, I’ll refill your cup. I just want you to relax for me, okay?”
I nod softly, even though my heart rate is beyond erratic. As the nurse walks out of the room with the plastic cup in hand, I glance over at the machine screens beside my bed. I swear to God if I hear one more beep out of it, I’ll fucking go crazy. Stop it. Just fucking stop it.
I have no idea where my phone and wallet are, no idea if Alaric, Nico, my mom or Nonna are even aware that I’m here. That there’s a chance Paisley could be here too.
Shit.
I clench and unclench my right hand, mentally summoning all the strength inside me to stabilize the trembles. But it doesn’t subside. I’m too nervous, too stressed to feel any sort of ease.
Where the hell is Paisley?
Before I can even gather my thoughts, the nurse is back. She smiles as she hands me the cup of water and this time I swallow it down fine. The refreshing water instantly replenishes me, so cold I feel it travel down my throat and chest. I finally summon the strength to set the cup back down on the table, the thoughts in my head eating away at me.
I need to know.
Need to know what happened to my forever girl.
“There are a few questions I have for you, Santo. Can you answer them for me?”
“Yes,” I say, no matter how desperately I wish I had it in me to correct her on my name. I’m only Santo to Paisley. To my mom. To my nonna. Nobody else. It’s Saint to the rest.
The nurse glances down at her clipboard, where my records must be. “Okay, can I have your full name?”
“Santo… Santo Lisconti.”
“Do you remember the date?”
“Yes. It’s Thursday the eighth of June, 2017.”
“Perfect, and your place of birth?”
“Santa Rosa, California… America.”
“Age and date of birth?”
“I was born on the third of June, 1981. I just turned thirty-six last week.”
“Wonderful, it seems to me that you’re all good. Very alert.” The nurse nods. “Okay, now I just have one other question. Are you in any pain, Santo?”
I shake my head. “Just feel my head throbbing a bit. I see a couple of cuts and a few bruises coming along. I’m a former professional boxer, so it’s nothing to me. I just want to know if… if something else is wrong? Am I going to be all right?”
The nurse, Samantha, smiles and nods. “Yes, Santo. You’re going to be okay.”
The slightest bit of relief fuels me.
Grazie a Dio.
“Fortunately, you only received very minor injuries as a result of the collision. Only a few treatable cuts and bruises, some shock of course too. Paracetamol will ease the head pain, but I’ll also check your vitals.” The nurse squeezes my shoulder in comfort, her emerald eyes boring into mine. “You are extremely lucky to be alive, Santo. Many people don’t walk out of incidents like this. You must have had an angel watching over you. Truly.”
I can’t stop shaking my head. “The only angel I have is the woman I’m in love with. She’s the golden part of me that keeps me going. What happened? Is Paisley okay? Paisley Reign, she was my passenger. Please, Samantha, please tell me she’s okay.”
“You don’t remember anything?”
“Not all.”
“Can you tell me what you do remember?”
I nod and clear my throat. “I was driving up Interstate 5 toward Willow Creek. Paisley and I were talking, happy, telling each other how much we love each other. Next thing I know, I hear this loud car horn and screeching. Paisley’s scream. We must have been hit from behind, but I don’t get it because I was going the speed limit and… the next thing I know it’s as if my car’s skidding. I lost control. There was a huge bang. That’s when I blacked out. I don’t remember anything else. Don’t remember how I got to the hospital or in this room. I don’t remember if Paisley’s okay. I don’t… I don’t remember, Samantha.”
“That’s perfectly normal, dear.” The nurse smiles. “Anterograde amnesia. Very common after a collision. At times, many people lose the ability to remember certain moments either leading up, during, or after an accident. It may come back in a few days, but shock tends to make us forget those moments too. Everything seems to be okay, but you’ll have an MRI scan soon to ensure the symptoms are nothing serious, which I’m sure they’re not anyway. Oh, and the police will also be here shortly for your statement based on the events that happened.”
“Okay…” My throat closes up at the prospect of the answer to my next words. My heartbeat is in my ears, beating so recklessly fast like the devil in me is winning the game. “Do you know who hit us? What happened after the incident? Are you able to check if Paisley Reign is okay?”
A tense silence surrounds the room and I fucking hate it. White noise and my heartbeat are all I hear as my vision blurs, my eyes all glassy ’cause I’m thinking the fucking worst. Never been this scared in my life. Never been this anxious for an answer that may destroy my entire soul. ’Cause it will. It will fucking destroy me if I don’t hear what I want to hear. Paisley’s my girl. I need her to be okay.
My entire body weakens in a second, because right now, in this moment, I realize how fragile of a man I am when I’m left to break into a million little pieces. How much Paisley is my only strength. How much more time I need with her ’cause she’s the only thing that feels like home.
“Santo.” The nurse frowns slightly, sitting up on the edge of the bed. She places her warm hands over my trembling ones, seeking to calm me. It doesn’t help. I don’t like the empathetic tone in her voice. Don’t like it because I know what it means. “Unfortunately, as a result of the collision, there have been two fatalities…”
And just like that everything inside me stops. Everything.
My entire world comes to a crashing halt at the words the nurse just spoke. No. No. No.
My wildflower… My wildflower, she’s…
My breaths burn my suffocating lungs. My heart… I don’t even feel it anymore. Fatalities. Two fatalities. It must be the driver of the other car and Paisley. It must be.
I don’t even wait for what the nurse says next before I begin shaking my head in disbelief, my entire body trembling in a violent sob as the tight knot in the back of my throat intensifies till I reach breaking point.
Paisley.
Paisley.
My Paisley.
I feel sick. Mentally, physically, emotionally sick. The nausea rises up in me, and I feel I’m either going to pass out or throw up any minute now. I just feel it. My wildflower… She’s…
“NOOO!” I shout out, hot tears rushing down my cheeks like waves. “No, no, no. Paisley’s not… She can’t be. It can’t end like this. Not like this. I need to see her, please, I need to see Paisley,” I beg, frantically ripping off the bedsheet. My head continues to ache as I yank the IV drip from my arm and recklessly jump out of the bed. “Please, let me see her. Please, Samantha. I need her. I need her so much.”
“Santo! Please sit—”
“Paisley, where are you?” I cry out to myself, my voice breaking as another wave of sobs drowns me in a world so lonely and cold. So scary without her as I fall to the white glossy hospital floor on my hands and knees, my face pressing up against it. “Wildflower, wildflower, my baby, come back to me. How could you…” Shutting my eyes, I struggle for my next breath as memories of her flash through my mind and how she won’t be here to create any more. It hurts so much. It hurts because this was supposed to be the beginning of us, not the end. “How could you leave me like this, Paisley? I can’t live without you. I can’t live without my wildflower… This is… This is all my fault.”
“Santo.” The nurse sighs, and I can hear her footsteps nearing. “Santo, please look at me.”
“I can’t—”
“There were two passengers in the car that hit you.” She cuts me off. “The police found evidence that established the driver was intoxicated and drug affected when he got behind the wheel. Speed was also a factor when he hit your car, resulting in the accident. The police stated while your car was severely damaged, it remained upright. The other driver’s car didn’t and rolled over multiple times. Sadly, he died upon impact… and his passenger, who has just been formally identified as his wife, passed a little while ago here in the hospital.”
Oh, Christ. That’s so fucking terrible.
My blood boils at the fact it was a drug and alcohol affected driver who shouldn’t have been on the road driving to begin with… This could have all been prevented. I’d re-kill the fucker with my bare hands if I could.
But that also means… Paisley isn’t…
“And Paisley?”
“Paisley Reign, the woman who was your passenger is alive. Dr. Reign informed me Paisley also sustained some injuries but nothing life-threatening. She’s currently recovering a few rooms down. I can assure you that she’s in good hands, Santo, so there’s nothing to be distressed about. Paisley Reign is alive.”
It takes a full moment for me to comprehend what the nurse, Samantha, said.
Paisley. Alive.
Some injuries. Nothing life-threatening.
Recovering. She’s in good hands, Santo.
Paisley Reign is alive.
I reopen my eyes to the hospital’s glossy floors, sniffling away my tears, but a few still glide down my cheeks, through my stubble and to the floor. My heart… I don’t know how much it can take, but the flutter of hope and reassurance has me lifting my head to Samantha, well aware of how much of a mess I must look with my blue eyes still so glossy, my jaw dropped in shock.
“Paisley’s alive?” I whisper as if the words should feel foreign to me after the scare. “Please tell me she’s okay?”
The nurse’s smile is a warm one as she crouches down in front of me and touches my shoulder. “Yes, Santo. Paisley’s alive and doing well—”
“Oh, thank God.” She doesn’t even finish before I sit up and pull her into an unanticipated hug, just needing some type of support and somebody to thank aside from God right now. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
An unexpected soft laugh escapes her as she pats my back. “I didn’t do anything, dear.”
Relief. Relief is all I feel. It’s as if this weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Paisley’s okay. She’s here. She’s right here in this beautiful world just where she belongs. Beside me.
The brightest grin rises on my lips as we pull away. I apologize about that whole IV drip episode, but the nurse says she understands completely and that makes me feel a whole lot fucking better.
It isn’t until I stand up to my full height that I realize something she said, and as happy as I am right now, a part of me is still on edge…
“Did you say Dr. Reign before? As in Dr. Alaric Reign?”
The nurse nods. “Dr. Reign has been taking good care of Paisley. Being her father, he naturally put his hand up. Dr. Atkins is currently looking after you. However, Dr. Reign did come in to check on you a little while ago, but you were sleeping at the time. He seemed outraged… I can imagine it’s all the shock of the accident, sadness for the other family’s tragedy too, especially because it could have been prevented on the other driver’s behalf.”
Oh fuck.
Alaric’s outraged… I just know it can’t all be about the accident. He must have questions for both Paisley and me. Of course he would. The most obvious being what were Paisley and I doing out together. There’s no way Paisley and I can hide our love now. No way.
“It isn’t just about the accident,” I murmur, wincing when I sit on the edge of the bed and my entire body aches, but I push on and admit something I’ve wanted to scream out loud to the entire world for a long while. “Dr. Reign and I are good friends… and I’m in love with his daughter, Paisley. I love her to death, but Alaric doesn’t know… didn’t know. It’s all going to explode in my face now. He’s going to finish off killing me because he won’t understand how deeply I care for her and now with the crash, he’s going to blame me. I just know it. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you about one of your colleagues and all these issues of mine. Just ignore everything I said.”
“You’re telling me because it means something to you…” The nurse reaches out and squeezes my hand, easing the trembling that’s starting up. “Can I give you an unbiased opinion, dear?”
I nod, desperate to hear anything but my own circling thoughts right now.
Alaric is going to fucking destroy you, Lisconti.
Destroy you.
“Santo…?”
“Yes.”
“I want you to know this isn’t your fault, Santo. What happened is not your fault. Paisley isn’t hurt because of you. She is hurt because an irresponsible driver decided to go behind the wheel when he shouldn’t have and killed himself and his wife as a result of it. After today, you know firsthand how important life is, how important it is to live it right. If you love Dr. Reign’s daughter, own it. Life is fragile, it’s beautiful, but it’s painful. I see it every day, believe me. I’ve been in situations with patients where miracles happen and other situations where lives fade away. An angel was watching over you today, watching over you both. I truly believe that, so summon that courage to fight for Paisley’s love.”
Samantha’s words truly touch my heart.
What happened is not your fault.
After today, you know firsthand how important life is, how important it is to live it right.
Summon that courage to fight for Paisley’s love.
I lift my gaze up from my hands and face Samantha. Everything becomes clearer. My perspective on how I’ve been looking at this wrong. Alaric is my best friend, and I love his daughter more than anything. He doesn’t have to understand or accept it, he just needs to know that there’s nothing in this world that I care more about than Paisley Reign.
Paisley’s my wildflower.
The reason I’m still breathing.
Nothing makes sense without her… and I need him to know it too.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “So you think I should tell him?”
“Yes. Tell Dr. Reign exactly what you feel. Even if you need to sacrifice his friendship for right now, I am sure with time it will be rebuilt. Trust will grow when he sees how much you adore her. I mean, I can see how much you love Paisley, and I haven’t even seen the half of it. Just how much you broke down when you thought she was one of the fatalities showed me how much you care, but the way your eyes lit up when I told you that she was still alive… that’s love. That’s love on so many levels. Life can slip away, Santo, it can slip away just like that. So, don’t spend a single second blaming yourself or hiding what you truly feel. It isn’t worth it. Instead, spend those seconds loving her with all you’ve got. Because in the end, that’s all that really matters. So…” The nurse grins, tears in her eyes. “Are you going to fight for her?”
“Yes.” I smile back, my entire heart warming as I admit my greatest truth. “I’m going to fight for Paisley with everything I have, no matter the sacrifice, because we deserve it.”
I mean every single word.
I’m going to fight for Paisley Reign with everything I have. Because there’s no me without her. There isn’t just a part of me that’s her, it’s all of me, it’s all her.
Paisley and I, we’re a forever kind of thing, because that’s how long I’m gonna spend lovin’ her…
Forever.
It’s been five seconds since I’ve been discharged and I’m already racing to the nurse’s desk, adamant to get information about which hospital room Paisley is in.
I need to see her so badly, it’s killing me.
It’s been a long three hours since I woke up in a hospital bed. After the nurse checked my vitals, my MRI test came back all clear and the police came into my room to take my statement and clear up the missing pieces of the puzzle. I breathed in the biggest sigh of relief in my life. It meant being one step closer to seeing Paisley.
There’s so much anger pent-up inside me for the fucker who caused this accident. The fact that my wildflower and I were caught in the crossfire, even though it could have been much worse for us. The fact he took the innocent life of his wife. Shit like that ruins me because now their family is grieving for something that should have never happened in the first place.
The second I’m given Paisley’s hospital room number, I run down the sterile white corridor to her…
I don’t care that my Maserati is a write-off.
I don’t care that I probably look like an idiot running in my black button-up shirt, jeans, and… cowboy boots.
I don’t care that Alaric is going to find out our secret.
All I care about is this feeling of complete and utter love circling my heart the second I step inside the hospital room and Paisley’s emotion-filled eyes meet mine. The sleepy smile rises on her lips as she peacefully sits up in bed, all of me hurting at the sight of her in a hospital gown, the white cast on her left wrist, and faint bruises on her cheeks and arms. But it’s nothing that won’t heal in time, and that eases me.
Oh, thank God. Thank God Paisley’s alive.
A miracle.
This is what this is—a miracle.
“Santo,” she breathes as I bolt up to her and my strong arms wrap around her petite frame, giving her the tightest embrace of my life. “Santo! It’s so good to see you!”
Pressing my lips to Paisley’s warm forehead, I want to savor every piece of her and never let go. Her right hand laces up around my neck, pulling me in even closer, to the point we’re crushing our lungs, but I don’t give a fuck. She’s alive. Alive with me. We hold each other tight, as if there’s no tomorrow because a few hours ago I was convinced there wasn’t.
It’s only when we pull away that I bury my head into her neck, staying cautious of not rubbing my face against the bruises on her cheeks. Just intaking Paisley’s sweet jasmine scent is enough to revive me. I’m okay now. I’m okay because I’m with her.
My heart continues to race as I tip my head back to see her. I’ll never forget the brave smile on Paisley’s face as I carefully cup her jaw, my thumbs smoothing over the pale purple bruises, wishing they’d just disappear under my touch. I smile back at my forever girl and replace my thumbs with my lips, brushing over her skin ever so slowly.
“I thought I lost you,” I whisper, emotion still thick in my voice as I bring our foreheads together. “Thought I lost the remaining beats in my chest. I heard two fatalities and I thought… Fuck, I thought I’d never see you again. I can’t comprehend a world without you, Paisley. You’re my entire world and more.”
Paisley’s right hand reaches up to graze her fingers through my stubble, her soft voice without fear. “I’m here, Santo. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head against mine. “Not really. I just woke up from a great sleep. My dad gave me some meds and it’s easing the pain a little. I just feel a little beaten up, especially with some of the bruises, but the worst of it is a fractured wrist and the cast I have to keep on for about six weeks, but I can live with that.”
“Mmhmmm, I’ll take care of you good, baby.” I gently run my fingers down the plaster cast Paisley has on her left wrist and I reach down and kiss it. For some reason, that has Paisley bursting out in giggles and the sound of her feminine laughter makes me lift my eyes to her, a smirk working its way on my lips against the cast as my heart warms at the smile that lines on her cheeks. “What’s so funny?”
“The way you’re kissing every part of me!”
My eyes darken as I take a seat on the edge of the bed and lean closer to her. Her eyes drink me up with so much intrigue and wonder as she stares back. “Thought you died tonight, wildflower. You better believe I’m going to kiss every single inch of you to remind myself we’re still alive. Don’t know where I’d be without you. Just know that I never want to feel that way again, ever. I don’t ever want to let you go or spend a second with you not by my side.”
Somebody clearing their throat on the other side of the room has me turning my head in that direction. A nurse I didn’t even see when I rushed in stands there, an awkward smile on her lips as she glances between us and gestures toward the door. “Okay, I’m going to step out for a few moments so you two have a little privacy. If you need anything, just buzz the assistance button that I showed you, Paisley.”
“Thank you.” Paisley smiles, while I just nod.
The second the nurse steps out of the room and leaves the door slightly ajar, I turn back to Paisley and for the billionth time I’m in awe of just how graceful she is, even sitting up in a hospital bed wearing a gown like she is tonight.
Paisley brings my face closer to her with the hand she has on my stubbled jaw. Her brows softly furrow as she studies my eyes and frowns. “My blue-eyed boy was crying… Eyes rimmed so red in a fear-like love, so poetic it could make the darkest devil turn into an angel’s cry.”
Exhaling a breath, I shut my eyes and they become glazed in tears when I reopen them. Paisley’s eyes turn all glassy too as this unspoken emotion between us fills with so much adoration, vulnerability, and gratefulness. It’s a silent prayer. A love letter written in the air between us. A thank you to both heaven and hell that we’re still here, breathing together.
I blink through my blurry vision and quickly pull off my boots, slipping under the thin sheets with Paisley, and wrap my arms around her so we’re chest to chest and I can feel her heart beating next to mine. We’re so close. My head fills half of the pillow as we simply appreciate one another’s existence, my hand cupping her face and fingers caressing her skin. Her fractured wrist rests on my narrowed waist, keeping it safe in the solace of my warmth.
“I love you, Pais. I love you so much it hurts,” I whisper against her plump pink lips. “Wish there were a better word to express how much.”
“I know how much, because I feel it too,” Paisley murmurs back, glancing between my eyes before the brightest grin works up her lips. “Move to Seattle with me.”
My heart clenches.
Aww, babydoll.
“Really?” I grin back in pure awe. “You want us to find an apartment in Seattle and move in together?”
The pillow flattens beneath our heads with how much Paisley is nodding against it. “Mmhmm, more than anything I want to live with you. Well…” She giggles. “That is if you aren’t sick of me already…”
“I could never. Of course I want to live with you too, wildflower. What changed your mind?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it for hours. Ever since I woke up in this bed. After the police came in and took my statement… I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy who hit us. About his wife. We don’t even know them, yet I felt so sick to my stomach knowing it could have easily been us. I’ve had all this time to think about it and realized the fear I had about moving too fast and me thinking you moving to Washington State with me and us moving in together isn’t valid, because in life anything can happen…”
“It definitely can.”
“Exactly,” Paisley says. “So we need to take chances while we still have time, just like you were trying to say to me that night. I know we haven’t been together long. I know this is so new for both of us. I know I’m still young and you’re a little older, but I know what I feel for you is the most real thing I’ve ever felt. I know you love me too and there’s a high chance we won’t ruin what we have. I know what I want. I’ve known for a long time now. You are all I want, Santo, and I don’t want to waste a second away from you or pretend I don’t love you, not when I know how quickly life can slip away. I want to tell my dad about us. I want to tell the world about us. I want you all to myself in a Seattle apartment with your Harley, my flowers, and our cowboy boots.”
“I’m already there, amore mio.” I smile. “Already there.”
I kiss her passionately, with everything I have. Every single part of me becomes hers as she kisses me back with so much possession and warmth, her wet tongue dancing with mine just how I like it. This insatiable kiss is like I was made for loving her, which right now I more than ever know I was. I was made for loving Paisley Reign so deeply in the way that I do.
My lips. Her touch. This love. Our kiss.
Irresistible, that’s what she is to me.
With such heated urgency, I kiss Paisley into forever. Into blooming sunflower fields. Into Harley rides and sunsets. I want this kiss to last all night. But all of a sudden we’re pulling away at the loud slam of the hospital door, and glance up toward it at the exact same moment, and… fuck.
Holding Paisley even tighter to me, my breaths slow as the person storms toward the edge of the bed with a reddened face, their vicious gaze narrowing in pure fury.
It’s him.
Her father…
My best friend…
Doctor A. Reign…
ALARIC.
“What the… What the fuck, man? What the fuck do you think you’re doing kissing my daughter?” Alaric roars at me, recklessly gripping the stethoscope around his neck and slamming it into the floor. “Get the hell off her before I call security, you piece of shit!”
Paisley’s entire body tenses in my hold and that serenity I felt minutes ago… it all crashes away in tidal waves. My heart drops because I was right…
There isn’t going to be anything reasonable about this.
It’s obvious Alaric doesn’t even need an explanation as to what’s going on between Paisley and me, because it was written in black and white the second he stepped into the hospital room and saw us kissing.
I sit up, ready to get up from the bed and approach him calmly, but Paisley halts me with a yank of my shirt. Huh? I glance over at Paisley, surprised to see the fire in her eyes as she fearlessly faces her father. With all these bursts of boldness over the years, it’s as if she’s now reached her breaking point and is nothing but a confident woman staring back at her father, who’s standing there ready to explode.
Paisley remains poised and raises her head up high in determination, the tension in her shoulders seeming to leave just as quickly as it came. “Saint isn’t going anywhere, Dad.”
The anger in Alaric’s eyes only intensifies. “What the hell is going on? I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you would both go behind my back like this. I don’t even know what to say.”
“Look, Alaric.” I sigh. “I know what you’re thinking but—”
“Oh, you know what I’m fucking thinking, do you?” her father spits, grinding his jaw as he stomps right around the bed, so he’s face to face with me as I stand. “Tell me, Saint. What am I thinking, huh? Tell me exactly what you think I’m fucking thinking when I see my thirty-six-year-old best friend and my eighteen-year-old daughter in the same damn hospital bed telling each other how much they love each other and discussing moving to Seattle together, and then KISS AS IF IT’S NORMAL! Tell me, Saint. TELL ME! WHAT AM I THINKING?”
I gulp down. “You’re thinking—”
“Let me tell you what I’m thinking,” Alaric growls, cutting me off and completely exploding with a devilish gaze as he shoves me back. “I’m thinking you’re supposed to be my best friend! The only one who knows all the shit I’ve been through! You’re supposed to be somebody I trust. You’re supposed to have my back, not your lips on my daughter, you sick fuck. I could kill you with my bare hands right now!” He roughly jabs his finger right over my heart. “Fucking kill you!”
“Dad, don’t—”
“NO, PAISLEY! All the men in the world and you seduce a man double your age? My BEST FRIEND? Doesn’t that seem psychotic to you? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Please, Dad, stop screaming. They’re going to call security in here!”
“Don’t freaking tell me what to do, Paisley! You think I’m stupid, huh? I’ve seen the eyes you give him, but never thought you could be so irresponsible and go out of your way to make a complete fool out of yourself.”
That’s all I can take before I take a step closer to Alaric, towering over him in height. Clenching my jaw twice, my nose flares in outrage. “Don’t you dare say Paisley’s irresponsible or that she’s making a fool out of herself! Have a little respect, man! Paisley’s a beautiful, wise woman who is free to make her own choices and be with whoever she wants. That includes me.”
“Don’t freaking defend her or act like the hero here, Saint! Because when the day comes and you fuck it up with her, you’re going to forget about her, but I know Paisley. She won’t forget. She’ll carry the baggage for the rest of her life because you don’t know what love is!”
“You’re wrong,” I hiss, narrowing my gaze at my best friend. “I may not have known what love was once, but I do now. I have ever since I realized Paisley Reign is my lifeline. The only woman I can ever trust with my heart. The only woman I need. I know I betrayed you and went behind your back. And for that I’m sorry, but there is nothing else I regret. I want you to know that I will never ever hurt Paisley. I care about her too much to ever leave or forget about her. If we could turn back time, Paisley and I would have told you sooner, but—”
“Don’t fucking test me with that Paisley and I shit!”
“Dad, please just listen to what I have to say—”
“How could you do this to me?”
“Please, Dad.” Paisley sighs, slowly peeling off the bedsheets as I help her slip on the hospital slippers and then get out of the bed, beside me.
There’s so much hope in her gaze, so much optimism despite the odds. She reaches out a hand to clasp with her father, but Alaric isn’t having any of it and instead crosses his arms over his chest, on top of his crisp white lab coat.
He continues staring down at his daughter in malice. “Speak, Paisley, because I’m leaving in two seconds.”
My hand traces soft circles over her hospital gown-covered hip as I pull her even closer to me, showing my support. My wildflower knows how to keep her emotion under wraps around her father and I respect that so much.
“Dad,” Paisley begins, clearing her throat with a small smile. “I know this isn’t how you should have found out, but I want you to understand that Saint means everything to me and make clear it all started after my eighteenth. I bet I know what you’re thinking. That this is just some infatuation or puppy love, but it isn’t. My relationship with Saint is real. I’ve been fighting the courage within me to tell Saint how I really feel for a long time because I know he’s your close friend and I wanted to respect you. You mean so much to me, Dad, and I love you with all my heart, but there comes a time when I can’t be your little girl anymore and that time is now. I know you want to protect me, but I don’t need protecting from Saint… not from Santo.”
My heart warms at every word. I can’t stop gazing at Paisley in complete awe that she’s opening up to her father and being so honest and vulnerable when it comes to us. Alaric may not want to hear anything that comes out of my mouth, but Paisley deserves so much more.
“Dad, I’m in love with Santo and I’ve understood more about myself than ever before along the way, thanks to him.” Paisley takes in a deep breath and meets my eyes with so much tender emotion. “Thanks to you, my blue-eyed boy.” She turns back to her father. “It was just the other day when you commented on how much more confident I am. That’s because I’m happier. Happier than I’ve ever been. With myself. With my life. With Santo. He believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. With him, I finally found the strength within me to believe in not only myself and what I’m truly capable of, but of seeing the light after the dark. And Santo is my light. He’s a beautiful man inside and out who has the kindest heart and demons that render him misunderstood to others, the same demons he’s setting free, just like I am with mine. I know we may seem like opposites, but we’re more alike than I ever thought because we have the same outlook on life and our diverse morals complement us.”
Damn right, wildflower.
“And I know we have a huge age gap. I know people will look at us and get the wrong idea, but I don’t care about any of that. You want to know what I care about, Dad?”
Alaric grinds his jaw, no response at hand.
Paisley doesn’t wait another heartbeat. “All I care about is the deep connection I have with him and the way he makes me feel so seen, so heard… So me. We started as two broken people with deeply shattered flaws, and piece by piece we helped put each other back together. Santo is nothing but a complete gentleman to me. He’s my boyfriend and he’s respectful. Loving. Vulnerable. Funny. Everything I could ever ask for and more and I love him so much, Dad. Whether you accept us or not, I love him, and I know in my heart of hearts that will never change. Not now when the man who began as the Devil of Sacramento turned out to truly be a Saint. My Saint. Saint.”
“Come on, Paisley. Don’t you know people like Saint? They promise you the world and then crush it right there in your hands. Just like your mother did to me. Saint will destroy you. Why do you think he’s never spoken to you about Lea?”
“He has.”
Alaric’s face scrunches.
I bet he wasn’t expecting me to tell Paisley all about it.
“He’s told me everything there is to know about Lea and Alexis—”
“Alexis?” Her father furrows his brows and turns to me. “Who’s Alexis?”
“Lea’s daughter,” I explain, swallowing down thickly. “I never told you the full story that I told Paisley.”
My heart continues to beat wildly for Paisley as Alaric turns to me, the same angered expression on his face, yet there’s something in his eyes that dims, and I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing. It still hurts. Hurts because we were so close, and as guilty as I feel, he isn’t accepting us, so I need to let go of our friendship because his daughter is my priority now.
“Saint won’t destroy me,” Paisley continues, “and I’m sorry that my mother caused you so much pain, but I’m not her, so please stop punishing me like I am. Saint has always been here for me, every step of the way, and there is nobody else I want to be with, Dad.”
Silence greets us for a few seconds before her father whispers, “You love him?”
“Dearly.”
Hearing Paisley admit her love for me makes me so happy. I can’t resist kissing the side of her head and murmuring into her ear, “So proud of you, wildflower. Love you to death.”
Alaric turns to me, distraught. “So, you’re… you’re intimate with my daughter?”
“Alaric…”
“Just answer the goddamn question, Saint,” he hisses.
“Yes.” I nod. “Paisley and I are intimate, but it isn’t solely sexual. What we have is a very normal, a very genuine sexual and emotional relationship. One doesn’t come before the other.”
“Fucking hell. Were you really in Santa Rosa last weekend?”
“No,” I admit. “I was in Marin County… Stinson Beach. With Paisley. I have a beach house there.”
Alaric turns to his daughter. “So that whole celebrating with Maralyn was a lie?”
Paisley gulps down, tears in her eyes. “Yes. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”
“And here I was worrying I was being a bad father for working so much. Little did I know you were fucking my best friend while I went to work! This type of shit is unforgivable. So goddamn heartless!”
There’s a pang in my heart for her.
Shaking his head, Alaric turns to me as if it’s a tennis match. “Are you seriously going to leave everything behind in Sacramento and move to Seattle to be with Paisley?”
“Yes. I want nothing more than to begin a new life with her in Seattle.”
“So, you’re choosing her over friendship?”
I respond in a heartbeat. “Yes, you’re leaving me no choice to negotiate.”
Alaric scoffs. “Do you love her?”
“I love your daughter with all my heart, more than I’ve ever loved before. Being so close to losing it all today, it made me realize how important it is to live life right. The only life I want to live is the one I have with her. I just wish you could see it, Alaric, wish you could see how I will never stop fighting for Paisley Reign for as long as I shall live.”
The way her father looks at her with so much disappointment, it kills me inside because even though I knew he wouldn’t understand, a part of me was still a little hopeful.
“I hope he makes you happy, Paisley,” Alaric says, shaking his head to himself. “Don’t come running to me when he burns you so deeply you don’t even know yourself. Don’t come running because I won’t be here for you.” He glances between us with a look of disgust, seconds before he begins walking backward toward the door. “Then you two have a nice life together. I don’t ever want to speak to you ever fucking again, Saint. Ever. I mean it.”
I shut my eyes for a brief moment and pinch the bridge of my nose. Ouch.
“Dad, please, don’t do this,” Paisley groans. “Can’t you just accept that I’m happy? I don’t want our bond to break because of this, Dad. Please. You know I love you so much.”
“Love isn’t going behind my back like this, Paisley. It’s fucked up, that’s what it is. I didn’t know you could betray me like this—”
“BECAUSE SAINT WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN YOU WEREN’T!” Paisley screams, her chest heaving as her fists ball up by her sides. There’s a wince in her throat as she clutches her cast, but that doesn’t stop her determination. “I tried to talk to you logically, Dad, but now I understand that perhaps this is a blessing in disguise! If you are not able to respect us, you’re not able to respect me!”
“Seriously, Paisley?”
She stands firm and nods, her jaw tensed. “Seriously. I’m not—”
The hospital door slamming shut slaughters Paisley’s words.
I instantly glance over at her and kiss away the single tear that rolls down her cheek before cupping her face and slowly kissing her lips. “It’s okay. I’ve got you, baby.”
“We did all we could,” she murmurs as we pull away. “He didn’t want to hear it, but I feel at peace. I feel at peace knowing we told him everything we needed to.”
“I’m so proud of you, wildflower. So proud of everythi—”
The door violently swings open and Alaric storms back in for a second time. With a death glare on us, he reaches down to collect his stethoscope from the floor before diving into one of the pockets of his lab coat. He pulls out a little square polaroid photograph and waves it around in the air.
“And oh,” he huffs. “I found something I had buried in my desk drawer and was going to give it to you so you could cherish it, but that was before I walked in on you and your boyfriend. I really don’t care what you do with it now, Paisley. So go on your damn rendezvous with Saint, go! Go because you’re free to leave the hospital. You’re discharged. Go because there’s nothing else left for me to say. Go because I’m used to being abandoned, so freaking used to it. You want to live with Saint in Seattle? I’ll give you something better. Move in with him here in Sacramento, because you’ve got until midday tomorrow to get out of my house! Period.”
My jaw drops in disbelief that Alaric can be this fucking cold to his only daughter. Yes, we went behind his back, but you can’t control who you love. Love is always love. Always.
Why can’t Alaric understand that?
Paisley sniffles away her tears. “I didn’t want it to be like this, Dad.”
“Well, that’s just too bad because love hurts. I know it firsthand.” Alaric flings a photo toward us, and I automatically catch it. “It’s a polaroid I found of your first Christmas with your mom, Paisley. Only picture I have of you two. It’s yours now. Burn it for all I care.”
I’m still left death staring Alaric with a tense jaw as I blindly hand Paisley the polaroid and I feel her glance down at it.
I thought I knew who my best friend was… turns out I don’t know at all.
We’ve tried reasoning with him, but this… this is too far. I don’t even care about the hurt in his eyes at this point. Paisley and I have tried our best to be on civil ground with him. He doesn’t want to. End of story.
Paisley’s jasmine scent calms my pumping blood down as I glance down at her. There’s a trace of a smile on her lips, and that prompts my own as I pull her to my side and follow her eye line.
The polaroid.
It’s a beautiful candid photo of Paisley and her mother on Christmas day. My cute little wildflower looking not even one year old with an oversized Santa hat on her head. She’s sitting on the floor and grinning beyond the camera at who I anticipate would have been her father, Alaric. A few opened presents on the reddish carpet beside her the evident rush of Christmas morning. An average-sized Christmas tree with colorful lights glowing in the background. Then my eyes fixate on the woman sitting down beside her in the photograph and my entire body freezes up.
My eyes widen and it feels like I can’t breathe anymore…
Oh.
My.
God.
What the fuck?
My voice betrays me with its brokenness. “That… that can’t be your mom.”
“What the hell do you mean?” Alaric roars. “You think I don’t know what my former girlfriend who’s the mother of my only child looks like? That’s Faye, Paisley’s mother!”
Paisley glances up at me, her brows knitting together. “Why did you say that, Santo?”
“Because…” I say, my throat swelling up as my heart begins to shatter into a billion pieces. “Because the woman in this picture… it’s… it’s Lea.”
