Vaughn kisses me until the fire that he built goes out. After that, he leads me through the dark like he has the path through the trees memorized. We reach the dock where my boat is and his Jet Ski is right next to it. His family has a boat, but he seems to prefer getting around on the Jet Ski instead.
We’re both silent and I climb onto my boat as he undoes the rope attached to his Jet Ski. I watch him carefully as he pulls it along with him before he climbs onto the boat and leads it to the back. He attaches the rope to one of the bars on the back.
“What are you doing?” I question him as he begins to walk over to the seat at the steering wheel.
“Driving us home,” he says simply as he drops down onto the chair and slides the key into the ignition. “It’s dark, baby. I’ll get us back safely.”
“I know my way around the lake like the back of my hand.”
Vaughn chuckles again and it’s like music to my ears. God, how I’ve missed that sound from him. He leans over, hooking his arm around the back of my thigh before he pulls me to him. “I know you do, London. Let me do this, okay?”
He pulls me onto his lap and I settle on his thighs as he begins to back the boat away from the dock. Leaning back against him, I feel the warmth radiating from his chest against my back. He turns the boat around, using one hand on the steering wheel with the other on the lever. He shifts it into drive and wraps his arm around my waist as he maneuvers us through the darkness.
Reaching for the dash, I flip on the lights that line the perimeter of the boat. It creates a soft glow along the water and we steadily make our way through the quiet lake. There isn’t any traffic at this time of night, and I don’t even know how late it is now. We pass a few fishing boats, but other than that, there isn’t anyone else out on the lake.
The moon is full and bright, hanging in the sky above. I tilt my head back, resting it on Vaughn’s shoulder as I look up at all the stars that are scattered above. That’s one thing I love about being out here. There aren’t any city lights to disrupt the view. You can literally see thousands of stars.
I watch as one falls, shooting through the sky above. A smile plays on my lips and a sigh escapes me as I relax against Vaughn. “I just saw a falling star,” I tell him quietly. The hum of the engine is quiet enough that I know he can hear me when he presses his lips against my temple.
“Make a wish, baby.”
The word sounds so natural coming from him. He’s only let it slip once or twice in the past, but I never let it situate itself too deep inside my heart. Vaughn used to be so playful that I never thought much of it when he used the endearment. But now, every time he calls me baby, my heart skips a beat.
Closing my eyes, I wish upon the dying star that was falling across the night sky. I wish for Vaughn to find some kind of happiness in life. Tonight feels like the first time he’s felt anything close to being happy. It feels surreal, but it also feels like there was some sort of a breakthrough.
I can’t let myself read into it too much. Who’s to say that tomorrow morning he doesn’t wake up and go back to being the moody, broody asshole he’s become? He’s so troubled. I’m afraid for those thoughts to consume him again.
“You gonna tell me your wish?” he murmurs against my ear.
“Absolutely not,” I tell him. “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
He hums but doesn’t offer any more words. We fall into a comfortable silence, me sitting on his lap with my back pressed against his chest. It feels like we’re living in an alternate reality, like we’re lost in a dream.
I don’t want to wake up from this one.
It isn’t long before Vaughn is pulling my parents’ boat back into the port. He cuts the engine and I have no choice but to stand up. I don’t want to, but I have to go raise the lift so the boat doesn’t float back into the lake.
Vaughn stays on as I get off and press the button, watching the boat begin to rise from the water. My eyes follow him as he moves toward the back and begins to untie the rope that had his Jet Ski secured while we pulled it along with us. He climbs off the back of the boat and hops onto the Jet Ski.
I turn off the lift and begin to walk along the dock, heading in the direction of our yard as Vaughn drives his Jet Ski over to theirs. He slides it onto the pad and kills the engine before hopping off. It feels like the dream is officially over. I’ve woken up and I’m not sure what to expect now.
As my feet hit the grass, I linger for a moment and turn to look over at where Vaughn just was on the dock. When I don’t see him, I feel the air deflating from me like a balloon. I can’t help the disappointment that works its way through my system. I should have known that tonight was too good to be true. I told him to do his worst, so I should have expected it to be over after tonight.
I don’t see him coming through the darkness until he’s stepping into our yard. My heart skips a beat when I see him and a ghost of a smile plays on his lips.
“You thought I was just going to leave you, didn’t you?”
A shy smile works its way onto my lips and I duck my head momentarily. “I did. I don’t know what to expect with you, Vaughn. You’ve been so cold that your warmth is a stark contrast and quite frankly, a bit of a mindfuck.”
“I can’t promise you anything, London. I’m the furthest thing from perfect. I’m sure I’ll try to push you away again, but I’m going to try not to.”
“You can try but I’m not going to let you,” I tell him, my voice barely audible as my throat grows thick with emotion. He’s finally let me in, even if it’s only a small fraction. I refuse to let him push me away again.
Vaughn falls silent for a moment and the moon above casts its light across his face. He stares down at me with a storm brewing in his ocean eyes. “I’m a fucking mess, London. I really hope you don’t let me push you away.”
“I won’t,” I promise him, holding my pinkie out for him. He stares at it before he grabs my hand. Instead of hooking his pinkie with mine, he uncurls the rest of my fingers and laces his through mine. “You don’t scare me, Vaughn.”
“Even though I can’t give you what you deserve?”
His words hurt my heart. Not because I agree with him but because I disagree completely. He’s a work in progress and I feel like we’ve taken a few steps forward tonight. Maybe not with his mood and how he acts towards everyone else, but if I can get him to let me in, even if it’s an inch at a time, that’s still something.
“I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else does.”
A harsh laugh slips from him. “Trust me, I do. I know that all they see when they look at me is a failure and a disappointment.”
Every negative thought that he has about himself chips away at my heart. “I can promise you that you’re the only one who sees that. You might feel like you’re lost in the dark, but you don’t have to let the darkness become you. There’s a light inside of you and one day, you’ll see it too.”
Vaughn tugs on my hand and begins to lead me up toward my house. We’re both silent as we walk up the stairs together, our footsteps light as we walk across the deck to the back door. Lights are on inside, but I don’t see anyone through the glass doors or windows that line the entire back side of the house.
“I hope you’re right, London,” he says softly as he turns to face me. He reaches for me, cupping the sides of my face as he presses his soft lips against mine. His kiss is gentle and slow and before I know it, he’s pulling away from me. “Get some sleep, beautiful.”
“Good night, Vaughn,” I whisper as he releases me and takes a step back. He waits patiently as I pull open the door and step inside the house. I glance back and watch him through the glass as he turns around and begins his walk to his house through the dark.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring between the two of us.
I can only hope he doesn’t regret anything from tonight, because I know I don’t regret a single second of it.
Even if he does hurt me in the end…
