It’s well into the middle of the night as I sit on the dock, draining a bottle of bourbon down my throat. It’s always nice and quiet at this hour and this is when I love it the most. Lying on my back, there aren’t any lights around to obscure the stars that hang in the sky above. There are hundreds, if not thousands, that you’re able to see with the naked eye.
The air is still warm and I listen to the sound of the water as it laps at the shore. They must have opened the dam which funnels water in and out of the man-made lake. It’s the only time it creates the facade of having a tide. My eyes find the moon and I stare up at it in wonderment.
How can something that is literally a rock in space have such force on the world around us? I know it doesn’t control the tide in the lake but in the ocean, not to mention just the world in general.
Life is fucking weird.
“Yo, Vaughn,” a voice breaks through the silence. I didn’t even hear his footsteps, but I know his voice well enough to know that it’s Maverick Hayes from next door. Our families had lived next door to each other every summer since we were kids. At one point, we were really close, but we grew apart after we both went off to college and followed our own paths.
Although, I’m not sure what path Maverick is really on. From what I heard my mother say, it sounded like he was drifting through life like I was. No real purpose. Just a walking, talking shit show.
I don’t lift my head to look at him as I continue to stare up at the stars. My hand is clenched around the bottle of bourbon that I have no intention of sharing with him. “What’s up, Mav?”
“I thought I was the only one who was wandering out here in the middle of the night these days.”
“I guess some things never change,” I mumble under my breath. That’s at least one thing that hasn’t changed in my life, although I’m not quite sure that it benefits me. If there’s one person I shouldn’t be drinking around, it’s definitely Maverick. The two of us had managed to get into our fair share of trouble over the years. Given both of our mental states lately, nothing good could come out of this.
There isn’t even a part of me that wants to give any more thought to the idea. I just wanted to be alone.
“You here for the summer?” Maverick questions me as he sits down without needing an invitation.
A sigh slips from my lips. I didn’t come here to entertain anyone, but this is just how Mav has always been. “Yep.”
Another set of footsteps are approaching us and they’re much lighter. “What the hell are the two of you doing out here?”
There she is.
London Hayes.
The silkiness of her voice snakes itself around my eardrums and I savor the sound. If there’s one thing that I’ve missed from this damn place, it’s her. But that was many moons ago. Things have changed since we were kids that had crushes on each other. Hell… everything has literally changed.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Maverick offers his explanation first—not that I owe her one anyway. “You know where I usually end up.”
“Yeah, well, I started to worry when I didn’t find you on our dock until I heard your voices over here.”
I turn my head to the side and our gazes collide in an instant. It’s like watching a flame ignite with the most powerful ignition possible. London shifts her weight uncomfortably, but she doesn’t move her eyes away from mine.
“Hey, Vaughn,” she says softly. There is something about her that feels like coming home, but home still feels so foreign. Like I no longer belong in her world. “How have you been?”
I shrug as I’m the one who breaks eye contact as I roll my head back to look up at the stars. “That depends. Do you want the truth or a lie?”
My words hang heavily in the air and no one says a word. I know we can all feel the weight of them and the air is growing thicker as the seconds pass by. I wait for Maverick to say some smart-ass remark or something to lighten the mood, but he doesn’t even bother to make an attempt to redirect the negative energy.
There’s a weird shift between the three of us and no one dares to speak a word. I know that I’m practically a stranger to them now. Hell, I’m a goddamn stranger to everyone in my life, even myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. All I know is I’m not the person I once was and I’m fairly certain that version of me will never be recovered.
I used to be a carefree, lighthearted person. Maverick and I were similar and if there was a joke to be made, it was most likely coming from one of us. But not anymore. The sun doesn’t shine on my life anymore. Instead, I’m surrounded by dark storm clouds.
“Mav, we should probably head back in,” London says to him, her voice quiet and careful. It’s like she’s treading lightly, as if she’s unsure of the waves that are rolling in around us. “It’s getting pretty late.”
In another point of our lives, Maverick would have been the one to argue with her. He would have stayed out here with me until the sun began to crest the horizon. We would have convinced London to hang out with us, and she was always the one to give in.
The dock creaks under his weight as he rises to his feet without a single word to his sister. “It was good seeing you, Vaughn,” he offers, although his words are simply spoken into the void. “We’ll see you around.”
A harsh laugh slips from my lips. “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.”
Neither of them say another word as they slip away into the darkness, heading back over to their house. I’m left alone in the dark with nothing but my thoughts. Thoughts of how things used to be. Thoughts of the way they will never be what they once were.
And not a goddamn coping skill in the history of psychotherapy can help me process any of it.
I sleep until noon the next day and when I wake up, I can feel the effects of the bourbon that I swallowed last night. Lying in bed, I pull the blankets over my head as I replay the night in my mind. I remember grabbing a bottle and going out to the dock when I began to drink.
I have no idea how I ended up in here, but I must have stumbled in eventually. At least I got drunk enough before I came in here to pass out. Too bad I didn’t get drunk enough to completely erase the memory of London and Maverick wandering over.
If there are two people that I didn’t want to see while I’m here, it is most definitely the Hayes twins. It’s going to be one long-ass summer trying to avoid them, considering they are my fucking neighbors.
London’s eyes still linger in my mind and I want to reach inside my brain and wipe the memory away. She’s always had a watchful eye and the way she looked at me last night was not the way I wanted it. London looked at me the way everyone else did after the accident.
She looked at me with fucking pity.
I should have known it wouldn’t have been a secret, with what happened and me being here. I just didn’t expect to be bombarded last night like that. I wanted to come here and live like a recluse. Now, I just need to make sure that I don’t run into either of the Hayes twins again.
Which I’m fairly certain is going to be next to impossible.
I finally make my way downstairs and realize I need to get my ass in gear. I told my father I would stop by the shop today and I need to relieve Miss Nancy since I’m supposed to be taking her shifts over for her. So much for fucking around like I did last night.
It’s time I get my shit together. Or if I’m going to drink, I need to at least make sure that I wake up on time the next morning. I came here for two specific reasons.
And neither of them involve London Hayes…
