I don’t know why I let my brother talk me into going out on the boat with him today. I knew it was going to be a shit show the minute we picked up Hudson Stone. He lived two coves over from us and my brother and him have always been close. Which is why I knew as soon as he stepped onto our boat with a bottle of vodka, it was going to be an interesting day.
They’re like two peas in a pod, although I think Hudson has his head on a little straighter than Maverick. But when the two of them are together, nothing good can come from it. And now I’m the one who’s having to drive the boat so my brother doesn’t get a DUI.
Maverick had been spiraling a bit over the past year. I hadn’t seen Hudson since last summer, but we all kept in touch when we weren’t in the lake. He was still the typical party, fuckboy that he had always been, but he wasn’t spiraling like my brother. He knew when it was time to have fun and when it was time to have his shit together.
We end up tucked away in another cove on the other side of the lake. The lake is big enough that you could find numerous places to tuck away and hang out. Ridge and his cousin Nico show up with a few girls that I’ve never met. Ridge has lived here at the lake his entire life. I had only met Nico a few times, but he usually tries to come visit when he has time off from hockey.
After spending every summer for the majority of my life here, we knew who was local and who wasn’t. These girls didn’t seem like they had ever been here before.
It isn’t long before drinks are being mixed and passed around and Ridge turns on the speakers in his boat, blasting music. It’s like a damn party in the middle of the day… one that I didn’t know I was signing up for, and now I’m stuck being the responsible babysitter.
Ignoring them all as they jump into the water, I grab my book and lay out under the sun on one of the bench seats. I know I’m being a buzzkill, but this isn’t what I came out here for. I thought we were just going to go fishing or something, not drink the day away. It’s a good thing I always bring a book along for a just-in-case situation—just like this one.
“You want something to drink?” Hudson questions me as he climbs back onto the boat soaking wet from the lake. He drips water onto the floor of the boat and pushes his hair away from his face. “You look like you could use one.”
“I don’t drink during the middle of the day,” I retort, tilting my head to the side as I push my sunglasses up onto my head. “This may seem like a foreign concept to you, but some of us actually grew up as we got older.”
Hudson’s eyes light up with amusement and a smirk pulls on his lips. “We’ve all grown up, London.” His voice is soft and his gray eyes bounce back and forth between mine as his face falls. There’s a haunting look in his eyes as he stares back at me. “Some of us are still running from our pasts.”
I don’t question Hudson any further and he doesn’t willingly offer any more information. His words are lost on me. Maybe he’s not the same Hudson I’ve always known. Maybe he has secrets of his own he’s kept from us all. For a moment, the ghosts linger in his eyes before they glaze over and he’s back to his peppy self. It’s like the comment he just made was never spoken into the universe, but in reality it was. And I heard it.
I glance out at my brother, who is floating on his back as he talks to some girl. Hudson said it like it was more than just himself that was trying to outrun his past. What could my brother possibly be running from too? I turn back to Hudson and watch him as he jumps back into the water with a big splash.
My mind randomly drifts to Vaughn, even though I know I shouldn’t be entertaining any of those thoughts. I can’t help but wonder if that’s why he’s here too. Is Vaughn trying to run away from his past? Or from his future?
Either way, it doesn’t concern me, and Vaughn made it crystal clear last night that he isn’t open to talking about what happened.
I would never expect him to talk about it. I can’t imagine what it must be like for him, to have his entire life turned upside down. The pain was evident in his features, even though he tried to mask it with trying to appear unaffected. It changed him. What happened to him turned him into a complete stranger.
“London!” my brother calls to me from the raft he’s floating on. The girl he was talking to is hanging onto his float with a huge grin on her face. “You think you can run by the store and get some more juice? We’re about to be drinking straight vodka soon.”
Turning my head to look at him, I fight the urge to roll my eyes. “Maybe that’s your sign to stop drinking for the day.”
Maverick tilts his head to the side, pulling the girl next to him flush against his body as he hauls her up onto the raft with him. “Now what fun would that be? If I wanted to be parented today, I would have invited Mom along instead of you.”
Lifting my hand, I give him the middle finger. “Go get your own juice.”
“I mean, if you want me to, I have no problem driving the boat over there…” His voice trails off as he challenges me from the water. Both of us know he isn’t joking either. Nothing can stop Maverick, except Maverick. And he has zero control over himself lately.
The last thing I need is for him to get himself into some kind of trouble.
“Fine, I’ll go, but I’m getting food too because you guys need something to soak up the alcohol.”
All the guys begin to clap as they give me a round of applause. The girls floating in the water giggle like it’s the funniest thing they’ve heard all day. And I’m ready to leave on the boat and not come back to this shit show. Grabbing my book, I tuck it back into my bag and make my way to the driver’s seat.
I turn the key, starting the engine as the rest of them continue to float and joke around. Since Ridge has his boat here, I don’t feel as bad about leaving. I’m careful as I back the boat away from everyone and wait to give it gas until I’ve drifted far enough away that it won’t cause too much of a wake.
I don’t want to be the reason behind one of these dumbasses drowning.
It’s only about a five-minute drive to the closest store on the lake. It’s fully equipped with a gas station for boats and Jet Skis, bait, and even a boat rental service. Vaughn Carter’s parents own the shop, but Miss Nancy works there during the week and Mr. Martin is there on the weekends. The Carters don’t personally do anything with the shop since they can afford to pay for their employees to run it for them.
After securing the boat at the dock, I pull on my jean shorts before I hop off the boat and head over to the store. As I push on the door, the weight is heavy against my arms and a small bell above dings. There aren’t any other customers inside the store and I don’t see Mr. Martin at the front counter.
Shrugging to myself, I begin to hum as I make my way around the store. I grab a few bags of chips and some other snacks before grabbing a jug of water and juice from the one fridge. My arms are full and I’m struggling to carry everything as I go over to the front counter. There still isn’t a single person in sight and now I’m wondering if something is wrong.
I set everything down and arrange them as I wait. There’s a metal service bell beside the register and I press down on it, listening to the ring as it echoes through the small store. Some noise comes from behind the door that is on the other side of the counter, so I wait patiently. Mr. Martin isn’t always the fastest and I’m used to the way he operates.
But when the door opens, it isn’t Mr. Martin who walks through.
It’s Vaughn Carter.
And he looks less than amused to see me right now.
His steps falter momentarily in the doorway and I watch his chest rise as he sucks in a deep breath before heading to the counter. He avoids my watchful gaze as he begins to ring up the multiple items, shoving each one hastily into a bag. I’m not quite sure what to say to him and he doesn’t appear to want to have any sort of conversation right now.
As he places the last thing into a bag, his stormy eyes meet mine. “That will be $48.75,” he tells me, his voice distant and indifferent. Vaughn almost sounds robotic and it’s a stark contrast to the guy I once knew. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t know him anymore.
He used to be full of life, the life of the party. Now, it’s like the light in his eyes dimmed and there isn’t much there anymore. There’s a part of me that knows the old Vaughn Carter is still lurking somewhere under this hardened exterior. I don’t know where he went, but a part of me wants to find him.
I don’t notice that I’m caught in my own mind, just staring at him, until he clears his throat. A nervous laugh escapes me and I can feel the heat creeping up my neck as it begins to spread across my cheeks. “Sorry,” I apologize as I open my wallet and fish out some cash.
He stares at me for a moment, like he’s going to say something meaningful or question me, but he doesn’t.
“It’s fine.” His voice is flat and void of any emotion. His eyes, however, tell a different story. There’s a darkness in his irises and the waves crash against the shores of his ocean-colored eyes.
Shifting my weight nervously on my feet, I hand him a fifty-dollar bill and watch as he pops open the cashier drawer and begins to get the change for me. “I wanted to apologize for last night. It was fairly awkward and I’m sorry that Maverick and I imposed on your evening.”
Vaughn’s gaze collides with mine as he shoves the drawer shut and hands me my change. “Stop apologizing, London.”
That’s the thing. Once I start apologizing, it’s like I don’t know how the hell to stop. It becomes a cascade of word vomit and there’s no turning back. And there’s no taking back the words that tumble out. It’s just a habit I developed over the years. I think the constant apologizing for my damn brother had rubbed off into every aspect of my life when I felt like I was in the wrong.
“I think Maverick was just excited to see that you were around since we haven’t seen you in so long,” I add in a rush, unable to close my flapping lips. “I know life hasn’t been kind to you these past few years and we’ve all grown apart, so I just wanted to apologize for bombarding you. I’m sure the last thing you want is any company.”
He’s silent for a moment. “You’re right.”
His response forces me to shut up and break eye contact. There’s an iciness to his tone that sends a shiver down my spine. If looks could kill, I’m fairly certain I’d be lying on the floor lifeless right now. And I don’t have any confidence that Vaughn would bother trying to revive me.
In a rush, I begin to grab the handles of the bags on the counter between us. The tension is thick in the air and suffocating. “I’m sorry,” I tell him quietly and at this point I’m not even sure what I’m really apologizing for anymore. All I know is I need to get out of here and put some distance between the two of us.
“Stop apologizing, London,” he says again, but this time his tone is softer. I lift my eyes back to his and I watch a wave of emotion wash over his irises. I want to reach out and wipe it away. I want to wrap my arms around him and pull him into me and tell him that everything will be okay.
There’s so much I want to do for this broken version of Vaughn, but I know I never can.
I swallow roughly over the lump lodged in my throat. “I don’t know how to.”
Vaughn’s eyebrows pull together and his jaw clenches again. He falls silent as he takes a few of the bags from my hands. I don’t bother to argue with him because he’s not someone I want to be on the bad side of today. Vaughn Carter is used to getting his way, except when it comes to his future. He didn’t have a say in his career-ending injury.
We’re both silent as we walk out of the store and out to the boat. I climb on and begin to set the bags down. Vaughn follows me onto it and it rocks underneath his weight. He sets the bags he was carrying next to mine and turns away without a single word.
I stand there silently, watching him as he climbs back onto the dock. Only then does he turn back to face me. His expression is unreadable and my breath catches in my throat.
“You don’t owe anyone anything, London,” he tells me, his voice barely audible. His expression is unreadable and my stomach does a somersault as I stare at him. “Stop apologizing for shit you don’t need to be sorry for and stop wasting your words on people who don’t deserve them.”
Vaughn doesn’t wait for a response and I’m left speechless as I watch him turn back around and head toward the store. There’s a subtle limp in his gait that I didn’t notice before, and my chest constricts. He disappears inside and I’m still sitting at the dock, staring after him with his words floating in my mind.
Stop wasting your words on people who don’t deserve them…
As I slide into the seat behind the steering wheel, I can’t help it as that one simple sentence invades the darkest corners of my mind. Vaughn meant himself when he said that. He has never wronged me, so I’m not sure why he feels like he doesn’t deserve my words. My heart hurts for him. After everything he’s gone through, he has let it destroy him, shredding him to pieces.
He’s lost in a very dark place right now.
Thankfully, the dark never did scare me.
