Standing inside the store, I stare out the window as I watch London pull her boat away from the dock. London Hayes is still the same girl that I remember her being and that made me feel even more like an asshole for the way I was to her. She means no harm, she never has, yet she constantly feels the need to apologize for everything. She’s always been that way. A bit of a people pleaser and her brother’s keeper.
Maverick has put their family through some shit over the years, but it’s obvious that their twin bond is soul deep. I was always jealous of the way they just seemed to know what the other was always thinking. Although, after seeing their interaction last night, there’s definitely been a slight divide between the two of them.
London has clearly matured in more ways than one, yet it’s like Maverick is still living in party mode. I feel bad for her because she’s always been the one who has kept an eye out for him. It has to be an exhausting job and I can’t even imagine how much of a toll that would take on someone’s mental health.
She’s never been one to let her feelings of despair show. If there’s something bothering London Hayes, you would never know. She buries that shit so deep inside, I’m afraid that one day it will suck her down into its miserable depths.
And here I was, being a damn asshole to the one girl who has always treated me with nothing but kindness. Which is exactly why I said what I did to her. She needs to stop wasting her words on someone who doesn’t deserve them—me.
She’s the one person on this planet who deserves to be protected at all costs. Even if that means protecting her from myself. I’m nothing but a shell of a person. A black hole in space that will suck her in and leave nothing of the person she once was.
London Hayes needs to stay as far away from me as possible.
The rest of the day goes by in similar fashion. People stopped by to fill up their tanks with gas, a few came in for some grocery items and some for bait. There were a couple boat rentals, which Miss Nancy could handle when they get back this evening.
“Vaughn,” Miss Nancy smiles at me as she heads into the store. She doesn’t stop there as she walks directly toward me, pulling me in for a hug. “It is so good to see you!”
She’s worked at my parents’ shop from the time they opened it. She’s in her sixties but doesn’t look a day past fifty. Miss Nancy has been around since I was a child and she’s one of the few that lives year-round at Stillwater. Her husband has always been the main source of income for their family, so she started working at the shop for something to pass the time.
After she started, she fell in love with it and loves the interaction with the customers, so she never left. She’s been a blessing in disguise for my parents.
“It’s good to see you too,” I tell her as she releases me and we break apart. I attempt to muster the nicest smile I can, but I’m sure it looks more like a pained look on my face more than anything. I’ve never been good at wearing a mask, but with Miss Nancy, I can’t let her see the true misery that consumes me.
“It’s been far too long.” She takes a step back, looking me up and down. “And look at the fine man you’ve grown to be. You know, I have a granddaughter who is single…”
This brings a genuine smile to my face and a low chuckle rumbles in my chest. “Thanks, Miss Nancy. I’m not really in the position to be dating anyone right now.”
She frowns slightly. “I know, sweetie,” she says, her voice soft and warm like that of a grandmother’s. “I’m sorry for what happened to you…”
A lump lodges in my throat and as if on command, my left knee begins to throb. I hate the shift whenever someone brings it up. I had put enough distance from everyone else in my life and those who were still around knew better than to say something. Miss Nancy was only coming from a place of caring.
I swallow roughly, forcing the emotion away. “It’s okay. Shit happens.”
Miss Nancy gives me a sympathetic look and nods, but she drops the subject. I silently thank her because it’s not a conversation I’m quite ready to have with anyone yet. “You go ahead and get home,” she tells me as she begins to usher me out of the store. “I’m sure you’ve had a long day here and I’ve got it covered now.”
“Thanks, Miss Nancy,” I tell her, giving her a small smile. “I appreciate you.”
She smiles back at me. “That’s what I’m here for, Vaughn.”
She practically pushes me out the door and gives me a wave before she disappears back into the store. I head over to the other side of the dock and hop on the Jet Ski that I rode here this morning. Sliding onto the seat, I grab my life vest and strap it on before turning on the engine. In less than a few seconds, I’m pulling away from the dock and heading in the direction of my family’s house.
Pressing on the thumb throttle, I give it more gas and the Jet Ski picks up speed as I coast across the top of the water. The air blows my hair around, tousling the waves in my dark hair even more. I get lost in the moment, pushing it down harder as it speeds up more, and it feels like I’m flying.
A smile stretches across my lips and I don’t bother fighting it. I’ve missed adrenaline rushes like the one I’m riding right now. It’s a euphoric feeling I can’t quite explain. Since my body betrayed me and I’ll never experience the speed and feel of power skating across the ice, this might be the closest feeling to it that I’ll ever get again.
I get back to the house in record time and just like that, my mood deflates as the euphoria begins to dissipate. As I’m nearing the turn that takes me into the cove, I let off the throttle completely and allow the Jet Ski to float into it to avoid from creating too much of a wake. I see the Hayes’ boat parked inside their dock, but Maverick and some of our old friends are all taking turns jumping from the top of their dock and into the water below.
Driving the Jet Ski onto the pad, I dock it there and kill the engine before pulling out the key. As I hop off the Jet Ski and begin to climb up the ladder onto the dock, I hear their voices coming from the water and the sound of music plays from the speakers that their parents had installed. Maverick and Hudson are standing on top, both of them waving at me when I regretfully make eye contact with them.
“It’s Vaughn fucking Carter!” Hudson yells out, clapping loudly. Ridge and his cousin Nico both turn around from where they’re floating in the water and start hooting and hollering at me. There are five girls with them, but I don’t see London with them at all.
“Come over, man!” Ridge calls over to me. “We haven’t seen you in forever. Come chill with us.”
I groan inwardly at his invitation. I don’t feel like being around any of them right now. The only thing that I want to do is go inside and get a shower and lie down. I’ve done enough peopling for one day and I’m going to be right back at it at the store tomorrow.
“I wanna go inside and shower, but maybe next time,” I tell him, my voice void of any emotion.
Hudson says something to Ridge but I can’t hear either of them. I see Maverick’s expression as he cuts his eyes at both of them and shakes his head.
“You know where to find us if you change your mind,” Ridge offers after Maverick silently warns him.
I nod before leaving them all to their own little party that they have going on. I used to enjoy Nico’s company, considering the fact that we both played hockey. He had just gotten drafted and was off to play professionally. He was living my dream and I was just here.
The old Vaughn would have jumped into the water and grabbed a beer without a second thought, but not anymore. Hell, I don’t know how long my knee would even last trying to tread water in the lake.
The thought is sobering and the weight is heavy on my chest as I begin my walk up to the house. My knee screams in protest from the incline that I’m walking on. The hill flattens out and I walk across the flat walkway that leads to the patio area around the pool. The subtle limp that I already have is definitely more noticeable right now and I’m gritting my teeth against the searing pain in my thigh.
As I walk around the pool, my gaze wanders over to the Hayes’ house. And there she is, sitting on their back deck with her nose in a book. It’s as if she senses my gaze and she lifts hers from the pages in front of her, instantly meeting mine. My breath catches in my throat, but it has to be because of the pain… not because of her.
A small smile works its way onto her lips and she lifts her hand to wave at me. I could be her old friend and walk over there to talk to her, but that version of me died on the ice the day my hockey career was ruined.
I lift my hand and give her a curt nod before tearing my eyes away. It’s like a fire is lit underneath my feet and I hobble as quickly as my leg allows into the house. I slam the door shut behind me and rest my back against it before crumpling onto the floor. I shouldn’t have come here.
Fuck my knee and fuck this place.
