I leave London where she was floating and head in the direction of the store for the day. I came out for an early morning ride to clear my head, just like London was talking about. Clearing my mind never actually works. There’s always something lingering in the darkest corners of my mind that seems to come out when I’m trying to eradicate it all.
There’s a part of me that feels guilty for the way I’ve been treating London, but at the same time, I don’t owe her anything. Just like I told her yesterday. It’s the same for everyone. I don’t owe anyone a damn thing. But I could be a little more respectful to her.
London Hayes needs to learn to stay as far away from me as possible.
Because I will only destroy her in the end.
It isn’t long after I open the shop that people begin to come funneling inside. There’s a customer for literally every different product that we offer and I rent out a few boats. I half expect London to come strolling in, but perhaps she learned her lesson.
I don’t know how to not let my anger control everything in my life. I’ve been projecting it onto everyone else, but I don’t want anyone to get sucked into the downward spiral I’ve been lost in the past two years. There’s no way up from here. All I can do is just succumb to the disappointment my life has become and continue on until this miserable world swallows me whole.
The day passes by in a blur and even with how busy we are, it still isn’t enough to distract me from the blonde beauty that lives next door. Even though I may want to keep my distance from her, I can’t help but feel drawn to her in a sense. I’m not blind. I’ve known London for most of my life and have watched her transform into the bombshell she is.
When we were younger, there were always guys that were chasing after her. If it weren’t for Maverick and I chasing them away, I’m sure one would have swept her off her feet. The thought reminds me that I don’t know anything about her life anymore. Perhaps she isn’t single and she has a guy waiting for her back at home.
Life at the lake is almost like a time warp. It’s a completely separate life from the real ones that we live. It’s like a parallel universe, where nothing outside of the city limits matters here.
But there’s a chance that London has a whole different life away from Stillwater.
And that thought alone is enough to make my blood boil.
The next few days pass by in the same fashion. I haven’t seen London since she was floating on the paddleboard the other day. I’ve seen her brother out on the boat, but there hasn’t been a single sign of London. Maybe I was right and she returned to her other life instead of staying here for the entire summer.
Miss Nancy comes in to relieve me and I leave her with the rest of the things that need to be done for the evening. Since it’s Friday, I don’t have to come back here until Monday morning. Mr. Martin will be handling the customers over the weekend and my parents will be here sometime this evening.
I’ve only talked with my mother a few times since I got here. She’s texted me every day, but I’ve kept our conversations short. I’ll see her soon enough and the last thing I want to do was burden her even though I am only a couple hours away.
I hop on the Jet Ski and make my way back to the house. When I get there, I see that the house is no longer empty and my parents must have come here earlier than anticipated. I dock the Jet Ski and head into the house, even though the last thing I want to do is be around them right now. The silence has been nice, as well as not having to answer to anyone.
Now my mother is going to be breathing down my back again, watching my every move to make sure that I’m okay. I get it, trust me, I do. She only cares, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I feel like my independence has been stripped from me. Hell, everything has been taken away. I’m just lucky that I can still walk, even if that is a challenge every now and then.
“Vaughn!” my mother exclaims from the kitchen as I come inside. I can smell the food that she’s already working on cooking, and she comes through the doorway with a huge smile on her face. She doesn’t stop as she walks right to me and pulls me in for a hug. “How are you doing, honey? How has everything been here?”
“Jesus, Penny,” my father chuckles. “Give the kid some space to breathe.”
My mother laughs along with him, taking a step away from me. She still has her hands around the tops of my arms, then she holds me at arm’s length as she looks me up and down. “Answer my questions, Vaughn.”
“I’m fine, Mom,” I tell her, rolling my eyes as I pull away from her grip. “Everything has been fine.”
She purses her lips and gives me a knowing look. “You know that fine can have multiple different meanings and most people only say that they’re fine when they really aren’t.”
My eyebrows draw together. “Did you come here to interrogate me for the weekend?”
“No, but you know that I worry about you, Vaughn,” my mother responds with a twinge of hurt in her voice. “I just need to know you’re actually okay.”
“He’s fine, Penny,” my father interjects. “Just let him go. If he wasn’t okay, you would know.”
My mother turns to look at him at the same time his gaze meets mine. I silently thank him and he nods in response without saying a single word. My mother drops the entire subject and heads back into the kitchen, leaving my father and I in the dining area together.
“You know she means well,” my father offers with a shrug. “She’s a little overbearing sometimes, but she worries about you. We both do.”
“I know,” I tell him, my voice low. “Like you said, you guys would know if I wasn’t fine.”
My father arches an eyebrow and tilts his head to the side, like he doesn’t really believe me. It’s as if he said those words to my mother just to appease her and to get her off my back. I’m not sure he fully believes it himself, though. I don’t let anyone in anymore, including my parents. The two people who fucking care more than anyone else.
He doesn’t say another word and I follow him into the kitchen as we go to check in on my mom. She’s busy hovering over the stove as she stirs something in one of the pots she has heating up. She turns around to look over at my father and me. She gives me another once-over, her face scrunching up as she takes in my faded t-shirt and pair of swimming trunks.
“Why don’t you go get a shower and freshen up before dinner? I invited the Hayeses over.”
The color instantly drains from my face and my eyes widen as I stare at her for a moment. “What? Why?”
My mother’s eyebrows tug together and my father chuckles to himself as he walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine. “What do you mean? I’ve been friends with Eleanor for years. They’ve lived next door to us since we had the house built. We’ve all been friends for many, many years. Why wouldn’t I invite them over for dinner when we haven’t seen each other in so long?”
“Maybe because you don’t need to have people over for dinner?”
My response is stupid and juvenile, but I don’t have a rebuttal. Every point my mother made was valid. I’m just the one who is resistant to it because I don’t want to be around anyone. And the last person I want in my space right now is London Hayes.
“None of this is up for debate, Vaughn,” my mother says before I get the chance to say anything else. I can tell that I’ve pissed her off now by the storm that is brewing in her blue irises. All she has to do is give you that look and you know that you’ve fucked up. “This may be our family home, but you don’t pay the bills for it. If you have an issue with it, you are more than welcome to find somewhere else to stay.”
“Whoa, Penny…” my father interjects as he attempts to defuse the situation. It isn’t often that my mother gets bent out of shape, especially when it comes to me. I can only imagine that I’ve probably pushed her past the point of giving me any free passes. “Vaughn had a long day, I’m sure. We had a long drive, and tensions are just high. Let’s all just take a deep breath and a step back from this right now.”
My mother cuts her eyes at my father. There’s a pain that lingers in her irises and I can’t help but feel guilty, knowing that I’m the reason it’s there. “We talked about this, Flynn. Vaughn came here to make some changes and if he’s going to continue to be negative like he was while he was at home, then there’s nothing we can do to help him.”
I look between the two of them. “You do realize that I’m standing here, right?”
“I do,” my mother says as her gaze collides with mine. “And I’m sorry you’re hearing all of this, Vaughn, but it’s time. It’s been two years. Something has to give.”
I stare back at her, caught between feeling pissed off and like an utter disappointment. There’s nothing but truth behind the words she speaks. The only thing holding me back from moving on is myself. “I’ll go get a shower and get changed,” I tell her, my voice quiet as I submit.
She smiles at me, although it doesn’t meet her eyes. “Thank you, Vaughn. I don’t mean to be hurtful to you, I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I know,” I tell her, my voice somber. “I don’t know what to do either.”
Her face falls and she goes to take a step toward me. As soon as she moves her feet, I’m stepping backward, putting distance between us. She notices it instantly and stops moving as a wave of sadness passes through her eyes. She knows not to push too hard and she’s done enough pushing since I walked into the house.
“They’ll be over here in about half an hour,” she says with a hint of sadness in her words.
I nod and turn around to head out of the kitchen. As I make my way to the steps that lead upstairs, I hear my father begin to speak to her. My feet pause in the middle of the staircase as I eavesdrop.
“You can’t be like that with him, Pen,” my father tells her, his voice soft yet urgent. “You know how fragile he is. He’s bound to run if we push too hard and then what happens? We’ll lose our son forever.”
“I just don’t know how to help him anymore, Flynn,” my mother responds, and I can hear her voice cracking around the words. “What if we can’t do anything to help him?”
“Then it’s up to him to figure it out, my love,” he tells her. “All we can do is be here to support him.”
My heart pounds erratically in my chest and it feels like my breath is caught in my throat. I quickly make my way upstairs and go directly to the bathroom, not even bothering to collect my clothes from my bedroom. I shut the door quietly behind me and turn the lock before sinking to the floor. The two people that care about me more than anything feel more hopeless than they ever have.
I’ve done nothing to help the situation and have only been dragging them down into the miserable depths of life with me. They’ve tried to help me the past two years and all I’ve done is push them in the opposite direction.
Even they think I’m a lost cause…
Maybe there isn’t any hope for me, after all.
